#Abah’sDiary: Finding A Baby Sitter
#Abah’sDiary: Finding a baby sitter
One of the challenges of bearing a child is finding a baby sitter. Living at times of financial distress, both husband and wife are forced to work to earn for the family. So when the both husband and wife work, who’s there to take care of the baby?
How hard can it be right?
Housewives don’t feel the feeling of insecurity of finding a baby sitter because they are there to baby sit their own child. So they don’t need to save money to buy a convenient (of course expensive) Breast Pump, they don’t need to store stocks of mother’s milk in the freezer, they don’t need to worry about having to sleep less to actually pump the milk throughout the night.
They are always there to nurse their babies.
When the wife is busy with preparing the stocks for the baby, don’t think the husband can walk freely, he has to help the wife. He has to cook, wash the dishes, clean the clothes, mop the floor, he even has to iron her working clothes on a daily basis!
Well, this might not be the case for non-breast-feeding mothers. From what I can see, breast-feeding is a lot more exhausting and stressful compared to bottle feeding. Even fathers can ‘nurse’ their child if it is down to mixing milk powder with warm water, shaking the bottle and feed the hungry baby. Babies are easily full with bottles. Nursing requires strength from both the child and the mother.
The wife can’t be on holiday forever. She has to work, even though leaving her child at the arms of a stranger is not easy. If her husband is earning surplus, the wife can opt to not work and be a housewife, or maybe pursue her studies to a higher level. But she is not married to a millionaire – like in Malay dramas – she has no choice but to work.
What kind of baby sitter do you seek?
Not sure about you, but I would find a baby sitter of convenience. All factors are taken into consideration: Distance, fee, cleanliness, seniority, quality and style.
1) Distance. Near your house. You don’t want to exhaust yourself in the morning going through the morning rush to go to the baby sitter’s place then you have to go to work. Plus, more distance, more time and money spent. Less distance, less headache.
2) Fee. Fee must be according to the market price of that area. You need to do some homework of how much is the market price of your area should you send your baby to a kindergarten. Price varies according to age, place, hours and over-hours.Must be mutually agreed.
3) Cleanliness. If you have found a potential baby sitter, plan a meeting at their place or house. Bring your mother or mother in law and seek her opinion on the cleanliness, is it conducive for the baby? Is it safe for the baby?
4) Seniority. I believe taking care of a new born is really challenging. Seniority of the baby sitter should be taken into account. How senior is the baby sitter? How many children does she have?Babies don’t care of who they are with, they cry at random times and may be during your bad day time.
5) Patience is really a virtue. So, usually with age comes patience. Baby sitters who are quite aged, maybe in their 40s and above have ample experience on how to take care of a baby compared to young mothers. They know what to do and what not to do (bring to see a pediatrician or general doctor).
6) Quality. Quality here refers to how many babies beside ours does she baby sit? If it is only your baby, then it is a dream come true.
Fear of Parents
Rampant on Facebook, cases of scary baby sitters caught on CCTV with their cruel way of treating new born. Babies are being treated like balls, babies are forced to drink milk just to shut them up from crying annoyingly, and you tell me.
Maybe the cases are very rare but the minority has inflicted trauma to the majority. Now everyone fears sending their babies to any child care institutions. It may not happen to us but it can happen to anyone.
I know a close friend where his new born, the 3 months old first grandson of the big family died due to being choked of milk at a TASKA. How scary and sad is that?
If I were in his shoes, I would be in woes, devastated and angry and God knows what I’ll do.
Baby Sit Not Handing-Over
Alhamdulillah after almost 2 months of finding a baby sitter, we have found one. It was an unrelenting process but we managed to prosper.
Still, seeking help from a baby sitter doesn’t mean we are handing over the baton of educating our child. We will not see our children only during the office hours. We still are in charge of our child’s education and we cannot hand that over to anyone.
DISCLAIMER
Inshallah my next book will be #Abah’sDiary where I write my story of fatherhood.
I am a new father. I am a new husband. My experience of fatherhood is very finite compared to other fathers out there.
My purpose is not to gloat or show off but to to share, with other young fathers, with other young husbands the struggle we face as we carve away the pathway of being the family man.
In the hope that we will both gain something in return, in my case, I want my child to grow up reading my diary of taking care of him, to let him know his father more through my writing.
As for your case, how you would gain from my writing, that is totally up to you.
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