The Bottom Line...By Line
Last week we talked about structural rewriting for your new manuscript. This week we’ll begin rewriting on the sentence level, sometimes called line editing when you get someone else to do it. This means it’s time to set theory aside and focus on the mechanics.
Hopefully you’ve had others read your draft. They can spot on thing you are not likely to: words and phrases you overuse. Over time you’ll develop a list of such words. My list includes suddenly, good, very, just and not quite. When you know what yours are you can search for them and replace them with greater variety.
Now read through your work and look for clichés. Sometimes it will seem that something did happen in the nick of time, or that “diamond in the rough” is the best way to describe a character. But in truth, a phrase everyone has heard before is never the best choice. Either cut such phrases or change them. Sometimes replacing one word in a cliché will make your sentence seem very fresh. Describing a woman as a rare opal in the rough might make a reader consider what that might really mean.
You’ll want to examine every sentence for unnecessary words. If a word (or a phrase, or a sentence) can be deleted without affecting the story flow, get rid of it.
My next step is to seek out passive writing. I’m looking for examples like this:“It was reported today that policy was not followed during the recent election. Mistakes were made. Excuses will be given. And we have been assured that appropriate punishment will be meted out.”
You may have seen something of the sort in your local newspaper. You may even be wondering what’s wrong with it. This kind of bureaucratic, stilted language is common in government circles. It’s called passive language, which just means that instead of leading the sentence with the subject you begin with the object. Most of your sentences should be in active construction – John hit the ball – as opposed to passive - the ball was hit by John. The problem with passive writing is it’s easy to lose the subject entirely. In the sentence “Mistakes were made” the mistakes are the OBJECT. But who made them? Maybe this is why politicians and government workers often write this way. But I want my fiction to be clearer than that.
There’s more to be done during the write, but that’s a start.
Hopefully you’ve had others read your draft. They can spot on thing you are not likely to: words and phrases you overuse. Over time you’ll develop a list of such words. My list includes suddenly, good, very, just and not quite. When you know what yours are you can search for them and replace them with greater variety.
Now read through your work and look for clichés. Sometimes it will seem that something did happen in the nick of time, or that “diamond in the rough” is the best way to describe a character. But in truth, a phrase everyone has heard before is never the best choice. Either cut such phrases or change them. Sometimes replacing one word in a cliché will make your sentence seem very fresh. Describing a woman as a rare opal in the rough might make a reader consider what that might really mean.
You’ll want to examine every sentence for unnecessary words. If a word (or a phrase, or a sentence) can be deleted without affecting the story flow, get rid of it.
My next step is to seek out passive writing. I’m looking for examples like this:“It was reported today that policy was not followed during the recent election. Mistakes were made. Excuses will be given. And we have been assured that appropriate punishment will be meted out.”
You may have seen something of the sort in your local newspaper. You may even be wondering what’s wrong with it. This kind of bureaucratic, stilted language is common in government circles. It’s called passive language, which just means that instead of leading the sentence with the subject you begin with the object. Most of your sentences should be in active construction – John hit the ball – as opposed to passive - the ball was hit by John. The problem with passive writing is it’s easy to lose the subject entirely. In the sentence “Mistakes were made” the mistakes are the OBJECT. But who made them? Maybe this is why politicians and government workers often write this way. But I want my fiction to be clearer than that.
There’s more to be done during the write, but that’s a start.
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