Drowning In Suburbia

You get old, you thing about the past, both the bad and the good.  You have time to consider it all.  You try to turn even the worst that has happened into a gift.--Charles Baxter, from his short story AVARICE in his book THERE’S SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO DO
I received a beautiful postcard from Barbara Reynolds of an early morning bicycle scene in CHINA, 1985.  I loved the foggy feeling.  Barbara wrote:
5, June 1990Of course this reminded me of you….is the job changing for you?  I felt very stiff with mine….things are better now with Rene Narducci permanently my manager.  Finally, someone who knows something.    I expect that you are excellent in your job.  I guess I suffer from old age.  I just want to be at the beach sometimes.  I actually enjoy work (not like our first month in San Francisco). I told you I fly to PARIS on July 25th and return August 14th.Love, BarbaraP.S.  I like your handmade touch.
Another former coworker, Gloria Romero, continues to drop me a card from time to time.  She send a postcard from BIG BEAR LAKE this time.  I’ve never been to this lake.  I sometimes wonder if it is a worthwhile visit.   Gloria wrote:

June 11, 1990Hi Mike,This card is for you.  I’m on a mission here in BIG BEAR LAKE.  George’s daughter is home.  George and I are enjoying the rest.  You must visit this area sometime.That last card you send me of the delightful seafood dish…I’m framing for my kitchen.  It is nice we send cards back and forth.  Your Friend, Gloria (and George, too).
And another delightful sunset card from Dorothy arrived.   These cards make my coming home from work a true treat.  She was replying back after I’d written her from the weekend escape that Alan and I took to the San Simeon, HEARST CASTLE area.  Her letters remind me that I am happy I am in a major city now versus “drowning in suburbia”.  Dorothy Rua wrote: 6-11-90Hi Michael,Wasn’t expecting to hear from you while you were on vacation, so was pleasantly surprised to receive the two cards dated 5-31-90.  The bathroom shot was rather interesting.   The homeowner/renter was definitely NOT into decorative items!  Loved the LADY “PRESSED” for jewels card.   I wouldn’t mind having a share of those jewels for myself.  I particularly like the belt and the necklace.   Ha!I also received your other creation:  DANCER IN BLACK.  It was great!   I really liked it.  How odd to appear so feminine, and then have that masculine hand exposed.Sounds like you had a wonderful time at HEARST CASTLE.  No, I’ve never been.  I bet it’s every bit as beautiful as you say, especially since it’s near the ocean (you know how I feel about the ocean).  And the pot pies sound delicious.  I love chicken or turkey pot pies.
I’m curious to hear about your recent encounter with VIOLET…must be interesting news.Have not matched myself up with the “job of my dreams” yet…I’d better get something going fairly soon.  I can’t live this life indefinitely.  I am going to sign up for some temp work to get a peek (and a foot) into the other industries.  I’m having a heck of a time going the other route.  Who knows?   The next time you step up to the counter at CARL’S JR. you may hear a familiar voice ask, “May I take your order sir?”I have been busy lately…mostly with job hunting and “mom” things.  Jean-Paul’s Little League season seems to be running a bit long.  Fun to watch…but I don’t know if I can sit through another month of baseball…plus soccer season is around the corner.  Nicole’s social calendar has also had me running around a bit.  It’s the end of the school year parties.  What happened to playing with dolls when one is 12 years old?  Ha!Am Idrowning in suburbia?  Man y days the answer is YES.  Thank goodness for other things and other people, especially people like YOU.  Your invitation to come visit will help me through quite a few of these days.  I will come to visit, Michael…at some point.  I’ll do just that!Recently I’ve had several people come to me with their problems and I was beginning to wonder, WHY ME?  Maybe it’s because I don’t give advice and I don’t judge them or their mates.  Who knows?   It does keep one’s mind off one’s own problems, though, even for just a while.  More later…Love, Dorothy
While Dorothy often inspires me with her letters I still cannot help get into a doldrums feeling, knowing I must return to that Pac Bell Directory office in the mid-Wishire area of Los Angeles.  I need more and I feel like quitting.  I need something else.   Thank goodness for ALAN who often lifts my spirits and makes my time go quickly as we have so much fun.  Our recent San Simeon adventure was just that, an adventure.  I look forward now to our New York and Europe escapes.  I need to open the world before me and not just via a page in a book.
I remember a huge tiredness coming over me, a kind of lethargy in the face of the tangle mess before me.  It was like being given a math problem when your brain’s exhausted, and you know there’s some far-off solution, but you can’t work up the energy even to give it a go.  Something in me just gave up.
--Kazuo Ishiguro, NEVER LET ME GO