List of Things That Don’t Make You A Writer

Truth!

CLASH

When I moved to Austin, I was surprised to learn that every guy and gal hanging out at a coffee shop was a novelist, every barista was sitting on a few truly outstanding, and unpublished, literary masterpieces, and everyone with a beard, a bike or a flowery skirt was either a great poet, the next Flannery O’Connor or the creator of the most amazing movie script in the history of scripts. It took me a week to figure out it was all bullshit. Then I learned that it’s even worse online. To help you figure it out faster, and to clarify things for all the “writers” out there, here’s a list of things that don’t make you a writer:

Owning a laptop.
Going to a coffee shop.
Owning a cat.
Putting the word author in your Twitter bio.
Drinking/talking about/enjoying coffee.
Living next to a university.
Hanging out with writers.

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