Thoughts on… Blizzards and Buffalo, NY

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Thoughts on… Blizzards and Buffalo, NY

I grew up in Buffalo, NY. We Buffalonians get a lot of shit about the weather, but fighting a few snowflakes is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg that is life on the Niagara frontier.
In other words, here’s what you really need to know about blizzards and Buffalonians…

1. See this? It’s no excuse not to do anything.

Actual pic from actual Buffalo Blizzard. Notice the tire tracks.

Most people don’t drive in a blizzard. Not in Buffalo. Back home, you not only drive through the wall of snow, but you don’t make a big deal about it. “I got off the thruway before they shut it down” is said with the same sang-froid as Sam Shephard quipping “that was a close call” after walking away from the exploded wreckage of his latest test plane.

You don’t whine. That’s for pussies. You get to where you’re going, on time, and you don’t make a big deal about it. Welcome to Buffalo.

2. There’s no need to play ‘fast and furious’ on the highway. There are already plenty of chances for high-risk auto adventures.

Check out the pic below. In it, someone shut down a highway so some BMWs could drag race. This shit doesn’t happen in Buffalo.

Looking for a thrill in somewhere, USA.

I now live in Boston, home of the ‘masshole’ driver. Why the lack of dickish driving back home? Here’s my take, for what it’s worth. No one in Buffalo is looking for a highway thrill because we spend months–I’m talking months, people–driving on ice, fighting it when the car fishtails. This is some serious shit and requires well-nigh super-human skillz.

And what do you do when you slip on the ice?

::: Say it with me, fellow Buffalonians :::

You turn into that shit. Face it head on, retake control, and still make it to school before the first bell. Boom.

Fishtailing in action. Fun!

So, when you play ‘ice road trucker’ for months on end, methinks that drag racing loses some of its appeal. Did I mention that you’re looked at as a pussy if you complain about all the ice when you get to work? Well, you are.

3. Blizzards mean creating snow forts that would make an Inuit gasp in admiration.

My personal favorite blizzard was the Blizzard of 77. It had it all. Terrible white-outs. A massive ice storm. Schools that actually closed down, which never happens.

And it was when my sibs and I built the snow fort to kill all snow forts.

We had a massive drift that ran all the way up our house. As a result, the fort entry point was the second-floor bathroom window. Way cool. The fort itself was even better. The thing was a veritable warren with multiple rooms, at least two floors, and a snowball storage area (I added that). I couldn’t even find a pic that came close to the greatness of our creation, but this should give you an idea.

More a ramp than a fort, but what do you expect when you’re not in Buffalo?