Why Do I Like Spray Cheese?

Why do I like spray cheese so much? I don’t think the stuff can even legally really be called cheese (hint: the fact that it doesn’t really need to be refrigerated is a big clue that it only resembles cheese in a vague manner). I love cheese, and will hang out for hours in the Whole Foods cheese section pretending I don’t know what various cheeses are while deciding to the point that I eat an entire meal of free cheese samples and then walk off without buying anything. So why spray cheese then?

Shouldn’t loving actual cheese mean that I’d be horrified by this stuff? I am, but I still love it. I haven’t had it in years, but I still have extremely fond memories of this “food.” Road trips in the car as a kid eating spray cheese on crackers, eating spray cheese straight from the can, all that. Maybe it’s the nostalgia. Maybe it’s just tasty, despite how little it is like anything human beings should eat.

Regardless, I want some now.