Limits and revived energy

Yesterday I wrote this in an email to the NYC sex worker activist email listserv:

As we continue to get a flood of media requests, I just wanted to put this out there - I am feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, not to mention triggered by answering questions like "how does it feel to know no one cares when prostitutes go missing?", plus "what can sex workers do to prevent violence?" and "are you afraid?". I haven't had a day off in almost three weeks and have taught intensive trainings over the past two weekends.

I don't want to do any reactive television interviews until next week, and I only want to do limited print interviews for bigger papers at the moment. I wrote yesterday about the messages I've been repeating over and over that aren't getting enough play.

I want to concentrate on getting some play for the amnesty campaign and would do interviews about that. I am also working on an op ed and an article and would like to spend my time focusing on producing media in which I'm controlling the message. So that's where I'm at.

So. worn. down.

This morning I woke up a little before 6 am (which over the past few months has become my normal waking time so I can work on various projects before I go to work at IWHC) and wrote like a motherfucker. It felt good, the rage flowed through me and into my words. I love when that happens. Hopefully I'll have a few pieces to show for it next week.

This weekend I will hopefully be posting less about dead colleagues and more about things like my new apartment and the black chandelier I am hoping to buy tomorrow. I need to see and do something that inspires hope and joy about the (or at least my) future. Also sleep.