Another Episode of Bad Idea Theater

In case these photos aren't worth one thousand words, I've provided handy captions. Things That Seem Like A Good Idea But Actually Turn Out To Be The Opposite Of A Good Idea (Much In The Same Way That Tattoos Following Tequila Shots Are A Good Idea) And In This Case Prove A Spectacularly Bad Lapse In Judgment Particularly As One Is A) An Entire Mile Away From Home, B) At The Other End Of Three Leashes That One Has Tied Together Into A Giant Knot Because It 'Seemed Easier Somehow' and, C) In The Captivity Of Three Raving Assholes Who Act Like They've Never Seen A Squirrel Before, All Of Which Is Exacerbated By Ones Snappy New Hot Pink Adidas Track Jacket One Bought In Tribute To Sue Sylvester And Glee Before It Got All Shark-Jumpy, Only To Find Out The Hard Way There's A Hole In The Interior Pocket One Millimeter Wider Than The Width Of Ones House Key, Thus Causing One To Traverse Up And Down The Path By The Squirrels Many Extra Times. Hey, Remember That Neck And Shoulder Injury I Had That Worried You So Much A Couple Of Weeks Ago And Forced Me To Wear A Harness Because That Whole Area Was So Tender And Weak That I Couldn't Even Turn My Neck To The Right? Good News, Not Only Do I Feel A Million Percent Better, But I've Got My Full Strength Back And Also Learned How To Slip Out Of My Harness While...