This Month's Column: #WINNING? I Think Not.

By Jen Lancaster, Tribune Media Services, Humor Hotel Posted 03/22/2011 at 3:00 pm EST I'm overwhelmed. Much as I appreciate the 24/7 access to information from cable television, the Internet and satellite radio (plus special alerts sent directly to my phone, in case I somehow avoided all the real-time updates from the other sources), I find myself faced with news overload. I'm not equipped to cope with endless tragic stories about war, civil unrest and escalating gas prices. I can't handle another toxic eruption from the Shinmoedake volcano . . . or the Sober Valley Lodge. I need a break. I need good news. I need some (non-hashtag-based) winning. As a kid, my favorite escape from the pressure-cooker otherwise known as grammar school was watching game shows. No matter how badly I'd bombed my spelling test and regardless of any hopscotch-based playground drama, I knew salvation was but a center-square-for-the-win away. Although I loved the kitsch of "The Gong Show" and Bob Eubank's prolific use of the word "whoopee" on "The Newlywed Game," Mark Goodson-Bill Todman productions were my drug of choice. "Match Game" boasted the best double entendres, Richard Dawson's charisma on "Family Feud" was practically infectious, and the game-stopping power of having drawn a seven on "Card Sharks" was nothing short of mesmerizing. Could Charles Nelson Reilly mind-meld with the housewife from Yorba Linda to win $500? Would the returning champion remain victorious in the Money Cards bonus round? Might the scion of the Johnson family rally once...