Why ideas are like rainbow bagels

This is just a short musing for the day as I contemplate some plot ideas for my next novel.

I’m all for rainbows. I’m all for dousing your life in multi-colored mermaid hues and I’m all for crudely drawn images of unicorns vomiting rainbows.

What I’m not okay with, though, are the new rainbow colored foods that are squirming their way onto the modern culinary menu. Why, I hear you ask?

Because what these foods really represent is not some exciting, modern gastronomic adventure, but rather they are indicative of people’s sheer desperation to come up with new ideas and stand out. There are no new ideas out there, so as writers we are forced to reinvent the old ones and hope like hell our book is not some predictable, cliched rehash. I guess the same is true for the food world.

I can almost hear the conversation that predated rainbow bagels and rainbow bacon. Personally, I think that food has finally gone too far though.

I mean, if I had to write the literary  equivalent of a rainbow grilled cheese sandwich (yes, those actually exist) it would be a  “Choose your own adventure, erotic comedy sci-fi romance illustrated in 3D and written on scented paper that sings to you as you turn its pages. Oh, and hidden in the pages of the book is also a top-secret algorithm that when applied to the stock markets will make you a millionaire overnight.”

I’m about as keen to read that as I am to eat pastel colored deviled egg