3 Steps for Loosening the Grip of a Workplace Bully

Workplace bullies, like the wounded rhino, the silent grenade and the angry aggressive jerk, love ensnaring others in their grips. Here’s what to know about each bully type, and how to break free from their grip.

Wounded rhinos
Like their namesake, workplace wounded rhinos attack with a vengeance. This bully’s goal? – To undermine anyone who might get in their way or be competition for opportunities. 

The silent grenade
The silent grenade bully keeps others intimidated by threatening an explosion. You see their tightening lips, jutting jaw or reddening face and back away or back down.

The angry, aggressive jerk
The most common of all bullies, the angry aggressive jerk, uses insults and blaming, belittling comments as weapons. This workplace bully can flatten your self-esteem and sap your energy.

Breaking free: never let a bully stake an outpost in your mind
When the wounded rhino bully charges you or the silent grenade glowers at you, you may wonder what you did to provoke these bullies. When the angry aggressive bully verbally slams you, his demeaning comments can seep into your brain like poison.

These bullies then control you at a deep level, by attacking your sense of self. Don’t make the bully’s fault yours. No one provokes nor deserves bullying.  

Loosening their grip
Has your fear of a bully led you to walk on eggshells? When you see a bully glower do you start to placate? If so, you’ve let a bully set a game in motion and now you’re playing the bully’s game. Further, workplace bullies see your reaction and feed on it. 

Step off the game board. In your mind or even out loud say, “Game over” or “Not playing.” Put your game face on. Train yourself not to react.  When you do, you simply watch a failed bullying attempt.  

Standing up
If you face a workplace bully, develop the courage to stand up for yourself and counter the bully’s attacks.  Be willing to exit your comfort zone. Learn to say, and believe, “I don’t deserve that” and “Do not insult me.” 

You, and everyone in the workplace, have the right to respect and dignity. Bullies require targets, and when you decide you don’t want to participate, bullies lose their power.

 

 

 

© 2016, Lynne Curry, executive coach and author of Solutions and Beating the Workplace Bully. Follow her @lynnecurry10 or on workplaceocoachblog.com or on bullywhisperer.com™