Moms Mysteriously Gone Missing
Parenting Tip: Your hard work will pay off; someday your kids will take care of you.
Sometimes it feels that your own identity has gone missing, like you’re one of those puppies on the mailboxes shouting out “Reward, $150.” You know your life is moving forward on the calendar, but you question what you’re actually accomplishing during this busy season.
The mortgage slowly gets paid down, the cars are both running, and most of your basic needs and wants are met. But caring for everyone else around the clock 24-7 leaves you feeling a bit lost in the midst of the chaos.
In spite of your best efforts to juggle it all, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-office auto email response. As moms, our lives have been put on hold, and we can't seem to reconcile the fact that another year has just flown by.
Most moms can relate to the automated operator who plays that annoying music after giving you twelve prompts to choose from five different languages. You’ve been waiting for twenty minutes before realizing you’ve chosen the wrong prompt. It’s not that you planned to lose yourself in so many ways; it just sort of happened.
Here are three ways that moms feel their lives have been temporarily suspended.
First, moms lose a sense of their calendars. It seems unbelievable that school starts at the same time every year and before you know it, everyone is attending the year-end luau party. Included in this super time warp is the involuntary donation of your own personal schedule.
This includes a variety of activities from taxi-cabbing the kids all over town, volunteering at school(s), doing non-stop laundry (especially during baseball season), and grocery shopping, etc. You may not remember what it feels like to eat your toast and to drink your coffee while they’re still hot because your schedule doesn’t really include time for "just you" anymore.
Second, you no longer have any personal privacy. I thought it sounded funny when other moms would talk about how they couldn't even go to the bathroom by themselves anymore. But with three kids of my own now, I totally understand what that means.
Then, there's the family bed where the little ones run in with nightmares, hunger pains, a bloody nose, a request for help with potty-duties, and a plethora of other excuses. Taking a bath has become a limited luxury as well. As soon as they see me in the tub, they launch over the side like little seals (*this was written when mine were little). Then I end up getting out so they can play with the bubbles, LOL.
The third way that life has changed is by the loss of your own farfetched dreams. Wanting to attend culinary school, to visit fabulous gardens in Versailles, or the goal of running a marathon can all get pushed to the sidelines. Now, it’s all about supporting their future aspirations.
Is there really any way you could fit in French lessons or a fancy trip to Paris just for yourself? What about that dream to write a book or to start your own business? In between helping the kids with art projects and packing lunches and snacks for the day's outings, it seems there isn’t really any time for your own dreamy objectives.
But don’t despair. The amazing thing about moms (and dads) is that despite these seemingly large losses, we see them as huge gains. Our crazy little thieves of space and time are the most valuable people in our lives, so we press on and stay the course even when quitting sometimes feels like the easiest response.
Instead of being angry and hostile at what we've put on hold, we plan more meals and give out more hugs. We buy more Band-Aids and more chocolate milk. We're selfless servants, even though our jobs are really hard and underappreciated.
Remember that this is just a season and someday we’ll get back to putting ourselves first. Besides, one day in the not too distant future, our kids will be taking care of us.
Excerpt from: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
Bright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out in April, 2015. Her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS, comes out at the end of this year.
Sometimes it feels that your own identity has gone missing, like you’re one of those puppies on the mailboxes shouting out “Reward, $150.” You know your life is moving forward on the calendar, but you question what you’re actually accomplishing during this busy season.
The mortgage slowly gets paid down, the cars are both running, and most of your basic needs and wants are met. But caring for everyone else around the clock 24-7 leaves you feeling a bit lost in the midst of the chaos.
In spite of your best efforts to juggle it all, it can feel like you're getting a busy signal or an out-of-office auto email response. As moms, our lives have been put on hold, and we can't seem to reconcile the fact that another year has just flown by.
Most moms can relate to the automated operator who plays that annoying music after giving you twelve prompts to choose from five different languages. You’ve been waiting for twenty minutes before realizing you’ve chosen the wrong prompt. It’s not that you planned to lose yourself in so many ways; it just sort of happened.
Here are three ways that moms feel their lives have been temporarily suspended.
First, moms lose a sense of their calendars. It seems unbelievable that school starts at the same time every year and before you know it, everyone is attending the year-end luau party. Included in this super time warp is the involuntary donation of your own personal schedule.
This includes a variety of activities from taxi-cabbing the kids all over town, volunteering at school(s), doing non-stop laundry (especially during baseball season), and grocery shopping, etc. You may not remember what it feels like to eat your toast and to drink your coffee while they’re still hot because your schedule doesn’t really include time for "just you" anymore.
Second, you no longer have any personal privacy. I thought it sounded funny when other moms would talk about how they couldn't even go to the bathroom by themselves anymore. But with three kids of my own now, I totally understand what that means.
Then, there's the family bed where the little ones run in with nightmares, hunger pains, a bloody nose, a request for help with potty-duties, and a plethora of other excuses. Taking a bath has become a limited luxury as well. As soon as they see me in the tub, they launch over the side like little seals (*this was written when mine were little). Then I end up getting out so they can play with the bubbles, LOL.
The third way that life has changed is by the loss of your own farfetched dreams. Wanting to attend culinary school, to visit fabulous gardens in Versailles, or the goal of running a marathon can all get pushed to the sidelines. Now, it’s all about supporting their future aspirations.
Is there really any way you could fit in French lessons or a fancy trip to Paris just for yourself? What about that dream to write a book or to start your own business? In between helping the kids with art projects and packing lunches and snacks for the day's outings, it seems there isn’t really any time for your own dreamy objectives.
But don’t despair. The amazing thing about moms (and dads) is that despite these seemingly large losses, we see them as huge gains. Our crazy little thieves of space and time are the most valuable people in our lives, so we press on and stay the course even when quitting sometimes feels like the easiest response.
Instead of being angry and hostile at what we've put on hold, we plan more meals and give out more hugs. We buy more Band-Aids and more chocolate milk. We're selfless servants, even though our jobs are really hard and underappreciated.
Remember that this is just a season and someday we’ll get back to putting ourselves first. Besides, one day in the not too distant future, our kids will be taking care of us.
Excerpt from: Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
Bright has written for a variety of magazines and professional blogs, including Scholastic's Parent & Child. Her first novel, SOUL READER, came out in April, 2015. Her second novel, BLOOD TOWERS, comes out at the end of this year.
No comments have been added yet.
