How to Empower Yourself and Stop Buying into Sabotage

 

You set your sights on particular goals, you encounter obstacles, but without realizing it, an internal critical voice may be your biggest obstacle. Why?

Have you met? Say hello to your self-defeating voice…
There is a self-defeating voice each of us has. I call this voice the Negator: Different from the conscience that helps you distinguish “right from wrong,” its sole purpose is to criticize you, make you doubt yourself and try to stop you from accomplishing important things in your life. 

How your self-defeating voice differs from your conscience…
When you question yourself—wish you had said it differently, done it differently—some of that questioning is useful, and can be used to actually do it better the next time.  Your Negator is different, it will say things like how stupid you are for having done it the way that you did. It will make you believe that you “don’t have what it takes.” Let’s look more closely at this critical voice and consider three steps to begin taking away its power. We’ll start with the key to freeing yourself:

Taking power away from your Negator…
Every time you believe what the Negator is telling you, things like “You don’t measure up to so and so,” or “You’ll never make partner,” you are actually feeding it power. Buying into and agreeing with what it is saying is what feeds its power. Every time you stop yourself from believing your Negator’s messages you take its power away and you empower yourself.  You are stopping your Negator right in its tracks.  

How to begin? Here are three simple steps… 
Using a notebook that is for your eyes only, for one week:

Write down the messages the Negator wants you to believe about yourself. Think about the situations in your life where your Negator asserts itself and makes you believe what it is saying is true.Reflect on what happens to you as a result. Does this make you lose confidence? What goals or dreams have you given up on because you believed what your Negator was telling you? Decide on three things you will do toward accomplishing an important goal that matters to you: What actions will I take to further my goals, despite what the Negator tries to tell me is not possible?

By identifying the messages you are listening to that cause you to doubt yourself and lose confidence, you take an important step. By not buying into these messages you will succeed in taking power away from the Negator and giving it back to yourself. Where it belongs.

 

 

 

 

 

Jane Firth, M.Sc., career coach and founder and President of Firth Leadership Partners