4 Ways to Handle People Who Don’t Take You Seriously

Cass arrived fully prepared for the staff meeting. Excitement surged through her as she handed out her detailed proposal, complete with footnotes and graphs.  She expected some acknowledgement. She got none.

The next day, Cass learned her company’s CEO had named Keith to head a project team to develop the idea she’d proposed. When Cass saw the initial project plan, she protested to her manager that it was essentially her work and she deserved a seat at the team’s table. Her manager said, “We chose innovators for the team.”

How was Cass not an innovator? Or was it simply that company management didn’t recognize her worth? 

Maya faced a similar challenge. Newly appointed to head her department she called her staff together three times to outline her vision for the coming year and to tell them what she expected out of them.  When her staff returned to their desks they acted as if she hadn’t spoken. Maya hired a consultant to learn how her staff viewed her and the changes she proposed. “They rolled their eyes,” said the consultant, “and said you wouldn’t last long.”

Do you share a similar fate? Do others discount you or your ideas? Look right through you when you speak? Consider you “lesser” than someone with less ability? If so, it’s hard to take. 

The good news – you can change how others see you with these proven strategies.

Don’t let their views get to you
When you encounter people who don’t see you as you are, it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. They believe you’re not worth much and treat you as such. This ticks you off and you’re rude back, reinforcing their negative beliefs. 

Instead, keep your eye on your goal. Control your reaction so you don’t confirm the negative assumptions they’ve made about you. Let the way they view you and the comments they make run off you like water from a duck’s back. 

Challenge their expectations
Do they pass over you when handing out opportunities? Do they view you as not talented or unprepared for new challenges? Do they consider you unable to handle rough situations?

Surprise them. Stand up for yourself and say, “Next time, I hope you’ll consider me for a similar opportunity.” Show that you’re one hundred percent ready to tackle whatever comes your way by volunteering on your own time with a nonprofit or other outside organization and letting your manager know what you’re accomplishing. If you get knocked down when you tackle a rough assignment, get up again. 

Don’t take it personally
Often, those who discount you don’t even recognize they’re insulting you. Don’t try to put them in their place by judging them back. This only creates more negativity. Instead, create your own mental Kevlar by reminding yourself what you have going for yourself. Then, go one step further and treat those who judge you with genuine respect. Make it hard for them to continue disrespecting you. 

Ask for coaching
You may be discounted because you have more to learn than you know. Ask for coaching. In Cass’s situation above, she could have asked her manager, “What would I have needed to do to show that I was an innovator?” or “How come my project plan didn’t get acknowledged at the meeting?” You may gain valuable insights. Even better, when you turn those who don’t see you into coaches, they develop a vested interest in helping you succeed. 

 

 

 

 

© 2016, Lynne Curry, executive coach and author of Solutions and Beating the Workplace Bully. Follow her @lynnecurry10 or on www.workplaceocoachblog.com or on www.bullywhisperer.com™