Words Have Power: Stop Saying “Should”

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If you’re here and reading this, I believe it’s safe to assume that you would agree that words have power.

I can’t be the only one to whom “should” feels like an admission of failure. I should be writing (but I’m not). I should be cleaning my house, or working, or running errands (but I’m not). With the insinuation that whatever I’m doing instead is of less worth.

I tend to write stream-of-conscious blather, especially when I just have to put pen to paper but my brain isn’t functioning on a story level. Most of these start out, “I should be . . . ”

It has taken an incredibly long time to figure out that every “should” made me feel worse – less productive and more failure. And every time I skim back over that blather, usually looking for some story notes that may have snuck in along the way, those “should”s have the exact same affect.

The solution: stop writing it. Stop saying it.

Sometimes I need to write out a to-do list because they help me get a handle on things. I realized that most of the time I wrote “should” was to couch or frame those to-dos. Now I just make the damn list.

And you know what? I feel so much better. Less depressed, more energetic.

It’s about solutions, rather than just poking at the problem. I may not have the energy or ability to do a thing at that moment, but putting it on a to-do list gives me a plan of attack. Saying, “I should go to the post office,” isn’t a plan. It’s not holding me to anything; there’s no accountability. Chances are, I’ll end up procrastinating even more. Which means stressing even more. (I know; it makes no logical sense, but that’s how I work.)

Words have power. They shape our perceptions of reality. This is why it’s so important to be aware of sexism and racism and ableism in word choice. One tiny little word has had such a significant impact on me – my attitudes and energy and mental health. How much more damage are other words doing?

And how much good could the right ones do?

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