3 Mistakes Confident Women Make and Do Not Repeat

Here is the difference between Cynthia and Charlotte. Cynthia credits her rise to the top with her don’t waste my time—get to the point, non-empathetic style of leading. Charlotte credits hers with a focus on results combined with a true respect and caring of people. As you might guess, when those who have reported to them share their experiences there are real differences. Heed these 3 mistakes Cynthia has made. 

When confidence turns to arrogance. Arrogance is defined in part as haughtiness, egotism, superiority, self-importance, and condescension. Cynthia has “taken many people apart” in her meetings, harshly criticizing them and embarrassing them in the process. While Cynthia has indeed accomplished a great deal that has had her attain the role she currently has, the results of her arrogance have left a lot of negativity.  Charlotte has of course taken people to task about their results, but she’s done it in a way that leaves them empowered to do better. 

When putting someone down appears as a strength, and kindness seems like a weakness: Mistaking the behavior of their oppressors as strength, and disavowing kindness as weakness: Cynthia learned her style from dealing with harsh bosses, and decided that caring behaviors were going to get her nowhere. Determining that kindness was weakness, she “threw away” a part of her that once mattered.

Not supporting other women: The rationale of women who don’t support other women often goes like this: I got here the hard way; they can too. Women who feel this way don’t seek out opportunities to lend their support, or mentor or sponsor an up-and-coming woman. Keep going – there are other women who will support you. There’s no shame in receiving someone’s support, and it is a gift you can offer others you believe in.

 

 

 

 

 

Jane Firth, M.Sc., career coach and founder and President of Firth Leadership Partners