Re-Resolutions

The January lull has come to an end. The resolutions and the vows of a healthier lifestyle, starting to feel like the remnants of a distant dream. Did you say: Never drinking again?? Only whole-wheat toast from now on?? You want to lose how many pounds by the end of the month?? All very admirable tasks but the chore of sticking to news year’s resolutions usually results in them dissolving close to the time new year begins.

That’s why this year, I threw in a few things, I knew I would stick to. Things that I already wanted and was working towards; I just reminded myself of them when the clock struck twelve.

As you may have guessed, many of these re-resolutions revolve around my book. Resolution 1: PUBLICISE! A feat I am a stranger to and no fan of. Publicising the book is like parading your new-born on the red carpet whilst the umbilical cord is still attached. You’re haggard, sleep deprived and both covered in substances you pray will wash off and yet the worst is not over. You have to smile and bellow over the baby’s cry, hoping to be heard over the arrival of Jennifer Lawrence and Kim Kardashian.

Publicity almost seems unkind. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to clean yourself up first; put on a nice dress? Surely your little one can enjoy a few hours’ sleep, have some food before the showcase begins??

Absolutely not! The publicity train is a fast paced and unforgiving one. You miss your stop and you may never get another ride. So pull out your sad little Kleenex, wipe the blood off your face, hook your babe on your bosom and let’s do this! ALL ABOARD!