S. McPherson's Blog: On my way to being a writer - Posts Tagged "read"

Picture this: Me; a school teacher by day, aspiring author by night, hunched over my keyboard, tapping out my latest novel, obsessing over every word and fixating on every sentence.

Then fast forward: After tormenting myself with the desire to find that perfect first line, I painstakingly craft a list of approximately one million agents (not as much an exaggeration as you might think) that I decide to send my book to.

Days, weeks and months pass. Throughout which, I receive multiple rejections and 'try again next time's'. I tweak, I rewrite and I edit within an inch of my life. When nothing seems right I decide to do a bit more research and discover that the recommended word count for a novice writer like me is 75,000 to 80,000 words. Hmmm so that means my 108,000 word self-proclaimed masterpiece is slightly over the limit; give or take thirty thousand words!

Though I’m sure this is not the only reason for the relentless rejections, it certainly works against my chances. I stare at the screen, my reflection creeping into view and as my eyes meet my own, I shake my head…Idiot!

I was on strike! Burn the pages! Smudge the ink! Forget writing! I like to teach and I'm good at it, so there! The End... The end? Not likely. As you may have guessed, my childish outburst was short-lived. Though I tried to ignore it, the heart wants what the heart wants and mine was filling my mind with flashes of dragons, elves and talking frogs.

My classroom book selection was growing old so one day after we'd read Julia Donaldson's 'The Gruffalo' more times than I can count, I decided to launch into my own made-up tale.

My story, teaching the importance of perseverance, told of a little girl who was being kept awake by her partying pet fish. Random? Yes. But since children's minds are as nonsensical as mine, it was very well received. Their positive reaction inspired me to dabble in the field of self-publishing. Now, queue 'Jaws' two syllable soundtrack.

1 dash of innocence
2 cups of hopeful
1 tablespoon of insanity
1 KG of creativity
1 bucket-load of drawings

This was my recipe for self-publishing my first children's story. I started with the bucket-load; the longest but possibly most fun process after writing. First I drew them. Then I photocopied them. Then I coloured them. Then I scanned them. Then I decided I didn't like the colours I'd chosen (because why not make life more difficult?) so I did it again and again and again.

Finally I realised that the look I wanted, I didn't quite know how to get, so I went on a mission to find someone to digitally edit my images. Let's call this someone, The Tool; the thing I used to get the job done. The Tool digitally remade my images, slapped on a hefty fee and voila, they were ready to go; or so I thought. Hindsight is always 20/20.

The January lull has come to an end. The resolutions and the vows of a healthier lifestyle, starting to feel like the remnants of a distant dream. Did you say: Never drinking again?? Only whole-wheat toast from now on?? You want to lose how many pounds by the end of the month?? All very admirable tasks but the chore of sticking to news year’s resolutions usually results in them dissolving close to the time new year begins.

That’s why this year, I threw in a few things, I knew I would stick to. Things that I already wanted and was working towards; I just reminded myself of them when the clock struck twelve.

As you may have guessed, many of these re-resolutions revolve around my book. Resolution 1: PUBLICISE! A feat I am a stranger to and no fan of. Publicising the book is like parading your new-born on the red carpet whilst the umbilical cord is still attached. You’re haggard, sleep deprived and both covered in substances you pray will wash off and yet the worst is not over. You have to smile and bellow over the baby’s cry, hoping to be heard over the arrival of Jennifer Lawrence and Kim Kardashian.

Publicity almost seems unkind. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to clean yourself up first; put on a nice dress? Surely your little one can enjoy a few hours’ sleep, have some food before the showcase begins??

Absolutely not! The publicity train is a fast paced and unforgiving one. You miss your stop and you may never get another ride. So pull out your sad little Kleenex, wipe the blood off your face, hook your babe on your bosom and let’s do this! ALL ABOARD!