Slow Your Yes
Time management experts warn us to say no to the people, things and activities that are not the best use of our time. Sometimes, there are activities that are within our zones of strength but that we still need to decline. We all have triggers. One of mine is to conclude things in a neat and tidy manner. I also like to help people get going on their awesome projects and ideas. Although I have more time now than I have in my adult life, I am getting better at slowing my yes. Here’s why.
1. Saying yes to anything means saying no to something else. A close relative of mine died a few years ago. His small estate is open and is being poorly managed by another relative. The Type A in me seriously considered hiring an attorney and taking over the estate to bring it to a neat and tidy end. After considering this for a day, I realized that while this process is certainly in my zone of strength, it would require a year of time and mental energy. The consequences of leaving things alone are minimal. The consequences of diving in are having to say no to business opportunities, new relationships and the opportunity to travel.
2. Most people need time to figure things out for themselves. I have an acquaintance who has written two chapters of a book. After reading the two chapters, I told her that it was interesting and I thought she should finish it. Next, she wanted me to edit the two chapters. I declined even though I’m a decent editor and I want to help her. But if she wants to write a book, she needs to invest the time and energy into completing a complete draft before asking for free editing. Although I am in frequent contact with this acquaintance, she hasn’t mentioned her book in several months. I suspect that writing a book is not a priority for her, which is fine, but would she have figured that out if I had edited the two chapters and given her feedback? Probably not.
3. Jumping in too soon can have long term, negative consequences. Have you ever been offered a great opportunity but “something” told you to say no? I have. Several years ago, I was offered a job at a law firm. They didn’t seem that interested in me, and they only agreed to match my salary. Despite my feeling that things were not quite right, I accepted the job. Two months later, I was fired. I wonder to this day why they extended the job offer in the first place.
Slow down. It’s okay to say, “let me think about it”. If you’re being pressured to say yes without an opportunity to discuss the offer or just mull it over for a few days, it’s probably not a good idea to move forward. Better an immediate no than a regretted yes.
