'Emotional Cognition Theory' (pt 3) - A New Psychoanalytic Therapy
Part 3 of the discussion of this therapy concerns the relationship between the patient (client) and therapist -- whether the therapist is a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, nurse, counselor or psychiatric aide.
A Clarification:
In therapy in this writing the words 'patient' and 'client' may be used interchangeably. In practice a 'patient', for me, is usually an in-patient while I use the term 'client' for one who is seeking treatment and may actually be an out-patient. Both are under care -- its just that a client is seen to have more freedom.
How does the therapist initially treat the patient [or client]?
For a therapist certain concerns must be considered: One must be able to listen and forgive. One must be able to 'compromise' one's values especially when the patient makes concessions and admits his/her own falsehoods, denials, and faults or makes new insights where otherwise they would not have been made. In the early stages of treatment it is not so important to give 'Moral Psychology' when headway is made in the patient's personal discernment. Encouragement from the therapist at this point would be able to help broaden the client's views. At the early stages simple encouragement is more important than morally mentoring what the therapist considers "right" or "just".
What about feelings?:
When analyzing the feelings of the client we need to be willing to listen and face the worst before coming to grips with the entire emotion presented. Exploration of all feelings is necessary -- putting them together is next. 'Ugly' feelings have to be considered as well as 'positive' ones. But please remember -- at some time in every therapy every patient will try to please his/her therapist if they have positive regard for the therapist. At these points we must back off and detach gently so that the client will 'cough-up' and consider ALL of the feelings felt. The object is to have the client see some form of pattern in the relationship of his/her feelings and emotions.
We also need to consider when the patient does not care to cooperate -- for whatever reason -- and gently delve into why the feelings may not be talked about. Caution should come with this -- with no fear of silence -- unless the silence is perceived as aggression from the therapist. At these points it might be wise for the therapist to open up and share something simple from his or her life.
As a snowflake -- each of us needs to understand our emotional patterns so that we know what to expect from ourselves in the future. Our genetics may be similar but our experiences make us all different.
How do we remain positive and keep up inspiration?
We try to see a clear message. By listening WE are helped too!! All words, intonations and expressions must be considered. We remember honesty, try to disregard static communication, and in a positive way discern messages.
The mentioning of the peaceful resistance of Mahatma Gandhi, the peaceful protests led by Martin Luther King and the incarceration and subsequent leadership of Nelson Mandela are valued. 'Saint's' and Pope's lives may not be bad topics either. We need examples of people who know how to forgive. Sometimes it is easier to imitate what another has already done -- rather than to build another entire 'ship' of behavior.
What do we do with aggression and fear?
As mentioned, sometimes people betray their feelings because they try to tell you what they think you want to hear. This should be discouraged. Sometimes the client's words are just not true -- many times people can be in denial. Haphazard beliefs may tell them that they can do something that they really cannot do. Although taking one at 'face value' may be good -- at the right time it may be appropriate to prod and confront [just to check on reality].
You may tell the client that if they continue on the path of denial -- that their "research" in a quest for self-actualization may lead down a road to despair. We MUST believe that we are moving down a positive road and NOT act out of inordinate fear or resulting aggression. Both aggression and fear need to be diminished and not valued.
How do we provide encouragement?
To change behavior in 'Emotional Cognition' we have to use hope and faith. We also need the quality of charity!! We want to teach people quietly with encouragement.
Teach us to "read" others at face value, yet use the warning that in some cases self-deception could be present. It should be noted that many humans respond not always to a reward given at every instance, but many times after sporadic compliments are given. See the marble block used for a beautiful statue cut only precisely only after many hundred blows on the chisel. In the end, it takes only one blow to free it from the quarry.
How can we use risk with examples of humility?:
If it is safe -- it is okay to let someone fall on their face. Teaching honesty is like watching a toddler how to walk. With bumps they eventually find a their own way. Explain to the client that they need to take risks to feel better. This is particularly true when dealing with depression in clients. When you feel it is safe -- and know that the client will not hurt himself -- then let it be known that the best thing you can do for depression is by inundating the senses with periodic stimulation and then by having them recall such stimulation at a later time. This is especially true in times of insomnia or sadness when patients are vulnerable. Music and drama works wonders in these cases. One has to wrench the thoughts around to remember that particular 'concert' or 'film' or even a visit to a museum. [I learned this technique while young by listening to loud 'rock' and then separately classical music and periodically self-medicating myself with kahlua, vodka, and guacamole plus tortilla chips in a city 500 miles from my childhood home and any close relative. Remember that freedom may be good but too much can be overwhelming -- one has to make a habit of 'non-fearful learning'] Figure out the reasons why you feel badly -- they are your symptoms and deep down inside you probably know why you have them -- if only you can be honest (that is honest over and over again).
Here is another example -- if you do not want to confront a client -- when said client cancels an appointment with you and you feel that he instead went on a secret golfing date. At these times one should not confront -- but wait. In time he will be encouraged to be honest. In time, you may not be so perceived by him as to having such a "Grand Ego"! Let's not assume that we are all perfect. Remember -- doctors are not always sought after and even mysteriously there are times when patients are healed all by themselves.
About the healing relationship:
The professional's and client's relationship together works best when there is mutual regard and respect. Although some discussions between them may end up simple or immature the entire relationship does not have to break down. The expression and analyzing of emotions and feelings is essential. This should occur even if the client tells dirty jokes until the therapist smiles. Moderation is fine -- but we do not have to stand for a dissertation on 'Chaucer'. With this we need to realize that we may not be models of perfection -- but we all can maintain a good measure of poise despite ourselves. What are we really doing for the patient [or client]?
Remember:
"A friend in need is a friend indeed!" In good relationships this can apply as well!!
Sincerely submitted,
Robert N. Franz
amazon.com/author/rf3rd
A Clarification:
In therapy in this writing the words 'patient' and 'client' may be used interchangeably. In practice a 'patient', for me, is usually an in-patient while I use the term 'client' for one who is seeking treatment and may actually be an out-patient. Both are under care -- its just that a client is seen to have more freedom.
How does the therapist initially treat the patient [or client]?
For a therapist certain concerns must be considered: One must be able to listen and forgive. One must be able to 'compromise' one's values especially when the patient makes concessions and admits his/her own falsehoods, denials, and faults or makes new insights where otherwise they would not have been made. In the early stages of treatment it is not so important to give 'Moral Psychology' when headway is made in the patient's personal discernment. Encouragement from the therapist at this point would be able to help broaden the client's views. At the early stages simple encouragement is more important than morally mentoring what the therapist considers "right" or "just".
What about feelings?:
When analyzing the feelings of the client we need to be willing to listen and face the worst before coming to grips with the entire emotion presented. Exploration of all feelings is necessary -- putting them together is next. 'Ugly' feelings have to be considered as well as 'positive' ones. But please remember -- at some time in every therapy every patient will try to please his/her therapist if they have positive regard for the therapist. At these points we must back off and detach gently so that the client will 'cough-up' and consider ALL of the feelings felt. The object is to have the client see some form of pattern in the relationship of his/her feelings and emotions.
We also need to consider when the patient does not care to cooperate -- for whatever reason -- and gently delve into why the feelings may not be talked about. Caution should come with this -- with no fear of silence -- unless the silence is perceived as aggression from the therapist. At these points it might be wise for the therapist to open up and share something simple from his or her life.
As a snowflake -- each of us needs to understand our emotional patterns so that we know what to expect from ourselves in the future. Our genetics may be similar but our experiences make us all different.
How do we remain positive and keep up inspiration?
We try to see a clear message. By listening WE are helped too!! All words, intonations and expressions must be considered. We remember honesty, try to disregard static communication, and in a positive way discern messages.
The mentioning of the peaceful resistance of Mahatma Gandhi, the peaceful protests led by Martin Luther King and the incarceration and subsequent leadership of Nelson Mandela are valued. 'Saint's' and Pope's lives may not be bad topics either. We need examples of people who know how to forgive. Sometimes it is easier to imitate what another has already done -- rather than to build another entire 'ship' of behavior.
What do we do with aggression and fear?
As mentioned, sometimes people betray their feelings because they try to tell you what they think you want to hear. This should be discouraged. Sometimes the client's words are just not true -- many times people can be in denial. Haphazard beliefs may tell them that they can do something that they really cannot do. Although taking one at 'face value' may be good -- at the right time it may be appropriate to prod and confront [just to check on reality].
You may tell the client that if they continue on the path of denial -- that their "research" in a quest for self-actualization may lead down a road to despair. We MUST believe that we are moving down a positive road and NOT act out of inordinate fear or resulting aggression. Both aggression and fear need to be diminished and not valued.
How do we provide encouragement?
To change behavior in 'Emotional Cognition' we have to use hope and faith. We also need the quality of charity!! We want to teach people quietly with encouragement.
Teach us to "read" others at face value, yet use the warning that in some cases self-deception could be present. It should be noted that many humans respond not always to a reward given at every instance, but many times after sporadic compliments are given. See the marble block used for a beautiful statue cut only precisely only after many hundred blows on the chisel. In the end, it takes only one blow to free it from the quarry.
How can we use risk with examples of humility?:
If it is safe -- it is okay to let someone fall on their face. Teaching honesty is like watching a toddler how to walk. With bumps they eventually find a their own way. Explain to the client that they need to take risks to feel better. This is particularly true when dealing with depression in clients. When you feel it is safe -- and know that the client will not hurt himself -- then let it be known that the best thing you can do for depression is by inundating the senses with periodic stimulation and then by having them recall such stimulation at a later time. This is especially true in times of insomnia or sadness when patients are vulnerable. Music and drama works wonders in these cases. One has to wrench the thoughts around to remember that particular 'concert' or 'film' or even a visit to a museum. [I learned this technique while young by listening to loud 'rock' and then separately classical music and periodically self-medicating myself with kahlua, vodka, and guacamole plus tortilla chips in a city 500 miles from my childhood home and any close relative. Remember that freedom may be good but too much can be overwhelming -- one has to make a habit of 'non-fearful learning'] Figure out the reasons why you feel badly -- they are your symptoms and deep down inside you probably know why you have them -- if only you can be honest (that is honest over and over again).
Here is another example -- if you do not want to confront a client -- when said client cancels an appointment with you and you feel that he instead went on a secret golfing date. At these times one should not confront -- but wait. In time he will be encouraged to be honest. In time, you may not be so perceived by him as to having such a "Grand Ego"! Let's not assume that we are all perfect. Remember -- doctors are not always sought after and even mysteriously there are times when patients are healed all by themselves.
About the healing relationship:
The professional's and client's relationship together works best when there is mutual regard and respect. Although some discussions between them may end up simple or immature the entire relationship does not have to break down. The expression and analyzing of emotions and feelings is essential. This should occur even if the client tells dirty jokes until the therapist smiles. Moderation is fine -- but we do not have to stand for a dissertation on 'Chaucer'. With this we need to realize that we may not be models of perfection -- but we all can maintain a good measure of poise despite ourselves. What are we really doing for the patient [or client]?
Remember:
"A friend in need is a friend indeed!" In good relationships this can apply as well!!
Sincerely submitted,
Robert N. Franz
amazon.com/author/rf3rd
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