3 Ways to Pick Yourself Up When You Are Heartbroken

The End. That’s what it can feel like when you’re deep in heartache. The pain seems to be all you have known and all you will ever know! 

“Oh everyone faces heartache, you’ll be fine,” they say. Maybe that’s true, and maybe they just don’t want you to feel alone, but too often that comes across as, “You’re being a baby. Suck it up.”

In the midst of struggle, oftentimes we want to be rescued by someone. Unfortunately, too often we are disappointed: a mentor tries to bring comfort but fails to say or do the right thing, your friend flat out ignores your pain, or your sister offers an emotionless “sorry,” as she retreats into her own tasks. While there are times someone actually does come to the rescue with the perfect solution, there is a failsafe remedy to find strength when things fall apart. The answer? YOU! There are ways you can support you perfectly, every time, because, ultimately, you are the expert on your situation.

In the midst of struggle, YOU can:

1. Take time for yourself. This will look different for each person and even each situation. Try time outside in nature, exercise, meditation, dancing to your favorite song on repeat, eating a healthy treat (dark chocolate is my personal favorite), napping, or even binge watching your favorite TV show. Remember, only you know exactly what you need. 

2. Recall and remember another time when you experienced heartache. It can be big or small, recent or far in the past. Now remember this important fact: it ended. While there may still be similar situations occurring, this specific situation is over and in the past. Remember that this heartache, too, will be in the past. As a bonus, remember a good experience that happened after that pain. It could have been days, weeks, or months later, but no doubt there was good in your past, and without a doubt there will be good things to come. 

3. Know you are the woman for the job. You have strengths within you that are greater than this pain you are experiencing. If you don’t feel that right now, take my word for it: you are the woman for this job, and you are stronger than this heartbreak! As Nicole Reed said, “Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” Bring it on!

- Jennie Swenson