Molly Davis's Blog, page 42

On A Dime

All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given us.

~ GandalfJ.R.R Tolkien: The Fellowship of the Ring

It is good to remember that our days are numbered. It is hard to be reminded of how quickly our number can be up. Let’s make our lives count.

It is good to remember that life is the currency given to us to spend as we choose. It is hard to be reminded that life can turn on a dime. Let’s spend our lives well.

Making Friends With It

Without trying to ruin your day, we’re all going die. From the moment we enter the world we are already on our way out, so the sooner we make friends with our own death, the sooner we can befriend the life that is ours to live.

Death is not the enemy. It is the unlived life that is.

Transition

Transition is different from change, and while any change can be challenging, it’s the transition that can do us in.

Change is moving from one home to another. Transition is the process of packing up one house and moving in to another.

Change is taking a new job. Transition is letting go of previous expectations, processes, and dynamics, and getting a grip on the new ones.

Change is retiring from a meaningful career. Transition is finding meaning in new places.

Change is getting your first bike. Transition is learning how to ride it.

Change is getting married. Transition is learning how to build a life together.

Change is losing a loved one. Transition is learning to live without them.

Change is having a baby. Transition is bringing a new little human home from the hospital.

Change is going on vacation. Transition is stepping back into everyday life.

Anyway you cut it, transitions of any kind, even small ones, can be challenging, and are best navigated with as much ease, space, and grace as we can infuse into the process. For for ourselves, and those around us.

Ease.

Enter in to times of transition with care. Know that you will regain your rhythm, or discover a new one.

Space.

Allow yourself margins. Build in time to acclimate to the situation.

Grace.

Take it easy on yourself and others. Period.

Change is one thing. Transition is the bridge from here to there.

Off The Grid

We turned our phones off on Friday night. On Saturday we headed out on horseback for five days into the Eagle Cap Wilderness in the Wallowa Mountains. Today, we turned them back on.

For five days we never heard a ding, ring, or ping alerting us to an incoming message, email, phone call, news update, or calendar alert.

For five days we heard the sound of the steady steps of our horses on rocky trails, the wind in the trees, the crackle of an early morning fire, and the deep quiet that can only be found in nature.

For five days the inner chatter retreated, making room for new thoughts to emerge.

For five days the outside world faded away, opening the door to the one within.

For five days the rush to get somewhere ebbed, making room for the present moment to flow.

For five days stress, distraction, and information gave way to space, discovery, and insight.

Driving down the road, returning to our lives, how do we use what we’ve experienced over the last five days now that we are back on the grid?

Summer School: Day Five

I don’t have to go there.

Old habits and patterns die hard. In order to let go of them requires intention, awareness, and willingness. As I learn to step back and observe myself, I am able to recognize when I am about to fall into the same old ruts. And once I see them, I have a responsibility to change them. Just because I’ve gone there before doesn’t mean I have to go there now.

What is one habit or pattern that you would like to leave behind? Where do you typically go when triggered, and where might you go instead?

Summer School: Day Four

The one pattern that changes everything again and again and again.

There is only one pattern that remains constant. Order. Disorder. Reorder. While we long for order, it never lasts, and when change comes, big or small, like it or not we find ourselves once again in the mess of disorder. While messy it may be, disorder is always, always, always an invitation to put our life and ourselves back together differently in ways that better connect who we are with how we live.

Where is life inviting you to brave the mess of disorder? What might it look like to put yourself and your life together in order to better connect who you are with how you live?

(With thanks to Fr. Richard Rohr for his teaching on Order, Disorder, Reorder)

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Summer School: Day Three

There’s beauty on the battlefield.

Life is hard. Always has been. Always will be. And sometimes, it feels like we are battling for our lives. That’s because we are. Everything that comes our way is a chance to fight tooth and nail to bring the best of what we have to even the worst of circumstances. When we do that, it is a beautiful thing no matter what the battle.

What have you had to fight for and how are you better for it?

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Summer School:Day Two

Margins matter.

In order to show up fully for what life brings my way, building in margins, no matter how small, make a big difference. Just because I know that doesn’t mean I always remember that. Without a bit of margin I quickly devolve into my less healthy self and become reactive rather than responsive. It’s not pretty.

What do you know about yourself when it comes to margins, and how do you build them in?

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Summer School: Day One

Today we head out on horseback for five days in the Eagle Cap Wilderness. You might say it is our summer break after an intense couple of months of summer school, taught as usual, by that tenured professor called Life.

While we are out on trail I invite you to reflect on a few things I’ve learned.

Things never turn out as I expect.

This is not the summer I expected, but it has been one for the books. As a result of the summer I’ve had rather than the one I planned, I’ve learned to flex with what comes rather than fight it. Because of who I’ve been called to be and what I’ve been called to do, I’ve developed more capacity to know what is mine to do, and, what is not.

What have you learned and who have you become as a result of the summer you’ve had rather than the one you expected?

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My Own Medicine

As a writer, speaker, and coach, I help others connect who they are with how they live. It’s great work, and I love supporting people as they endeavor to live authentic, wholehearted lives. One of the things I find myself doing frequently in that process is encouraging them to trust that things will work out despite all evidence to the contrary.

The problem with my work is that in order to be authentic and wholehearted myself, I have to be willing to take a dose of my own medicine more often that I’d like to.

Take this morning for instance when the day before leaving on a bucket-list horse pack trip to celebrate our 25th anniversary, Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle decided to go into heat.

Things will work out.

Which meant that our well made plan to drop her off at her favorite boarding facility went out the window.

Things will work out.

Not many places will even take a dog in heat, not to mention that this is prime boarding time as people head out on vacation.

Things will work out.

At this late date, we stand to lose a substantial chunk of change if we have to cancel the trip.

It was getting harder to see how things would work out,

What to do?

At 10:30 in the morning there is only one thing to do. Make BLTs with extra bacon and extra mayo, split a beer, send up a short fervent prayer for help, and then start looking for other options. All the while trying to remember that things will work out despite all evidence to the contrary. Which they eventually did.

We just dropped Gracie off at her temporary digs. She will be alive and very happy to see us when we return, but it was hard work practicing what I preach. So for good measure we just stopped at Starbucks for grande mocha Frappuccinos. As it turns out, a spoonful of sugar really does help the medicine go down. Even my own.