Molly Davis's Blog, page 45
July 12, 2019
Sticking To Our Stories…Or Not
The good news is that we have arrived to this day carrying all of our stories with us.
The bad news is that we have arrived to this day carrying all of our stories with us.
The good news is that we can choose to set down the stories that no longer serve us.
The bad news is that we don’t always do that.
The good news is that we can choose to write new stories.
The bad news is that we don’t always do that.
The good news is that we get to choose what kind of news we want.
July 11, 2019
Voice Lessons
Find your voice.
Trust your voice.
Use your voice.
Repeat.
July 10, 2019
The View
Have you ever put on someone else’s eyeglasses by mistake? Or grabbed an old pair of your own and realized that the lenses through which you see the world today aren’t the same as they were a few years ago?It is so easy to forget that we all see the world differently, and that our own view changes over time as well. When we take the time to understand one another’s perspectives, it goes a long way toward creating better communication, deeper connection, and greater compassion.
Tomer Dahari - Pexels.com
July 9, 2019
Fire Safety
There is a simple fire safety technique called Stop, Drop, and Roll, that is meant to prevent further injury if our clothing ever catches fire. This technique is meant to extinguish the fire by depriving it of the oxygen which fuels it. Most of us probably remember practicing this when we were little kids, and while we hopefully haven’t had to actually put it to use, if we ever did, or do, we will know how to protect ourselves..
Emotions can be a lot like fire. A sudden small spark, if given enough air, can burst into flame and engulf us before we know it. Different emotions enflame different people. One of mine is a sudden inner rage, and while yours might be something different, what they have in common is the need for something to keep them going. We stoke our fire with the stories we tell ourselves in its presence, and without a technique to extinguish it, we continue to fan the flame into a roaring fire that will not only burn us, but can endanger those around us as well.
When it comes to our fiery emotions, maybe we can take a lesson from those three steps we learned in school The next time we feel that first spark of anger, fear, shame, resentment, guilt, anxiety, hatred, or fill-in-your-own-blank, let’s Stop, Sit, and Notice. Literally.
Stop whatever we are doing. The simple act of stopping will slow the fire down.
Sit down on the ground, a chair, our bed, the kitchen counter, or on the floor of our own mind. The simple act of sitting will give us a new vantage point from which to see.
Notice what we notice. The simple act of noticing will give us a chance to name what we see.
With practice, we can learn to catch ourselves sooner.
With practice we can learn what fuels the fire that threatens injury to us, those we love, and the world around us.
With practice we can learn instead to tend the fire that fuels us, our work, and the world within reach of its warmth.
Stop.
Sit.
Notice.
With gratitude for the wisdom of my sister Margie, and my spiritual director, Dane Anthony.
July 8, 2019
The Power Of A Decision
One of the most crucial tools we hold is the power to make a decision. What we, I, sometimes fail to realize is the power an unmade decision holds over us. Not all decisions are created equal, and while some carry more weight than others, leaving them unmade can weigh us down, leaving us paralyzed and uncertain as to what to do next. But what to do next can’t make itself known until the decision is made.
When Tom and I began dreaming about purchasing property and building a home in the mountains, we couldn’t figure out where to start, and so we didn’t. Start I mean. We thought about starting. We talked about starting. We brainstormed about starting. We strategized about starting. We agonized about starting. We worried about starting. We dreamed about starting. We just never started because we couldn’t figure out what to do next.
Until we made a decision that is.
We decided to sell our house. Once we made that decision, the next steps started to appear, and one-by-one, we took them. From the vantage point of one step, we could see the next. And the next, and the next, and the next, until one day we moved into the rustic home we built at the base of a mountain on the land that was now ours.
We all have decisions looming. Some big, some small, some exciting, some boring some mandatory, some optional, some energizing, some excruciating, but whatever kind it is, it will loom until it is behind us. On this side of some decisions, the weight feels like more than we can bear. On the other side, we wonder what took us so long.
What decision can you make today that will help you move forward tomorrow?
July 7, 2019
Investment Strategy
What takes up too much emotional currency in your life?
How might you begin to spend your life differently?
If some of those inner resources were freed up, where would you be able to invest that capital?
Photo: Pixaby
July 6, 2019
Now & Then
That was then, this is now.
What worked last week doesn’t necessarily work this week.
What was true yesterday, may no longer be the reality today.
What support looked like earlier may look different now.
What we needed to hear in a previous stage may need a new message in the new one.
What shape love took in the past may no longer fit.
The only way to know if whatever it is is still working is to find out. Ask the question, have the conversation, be observant, and stay open.
July 5, 2019
Curiosity And The Cat
Fear slinks in like a cat. So quiet, she goes undetected, and before we know it she is rubbing up against our leg, and just like that, we are under her spell. If you are like me, fear is rooted in the past, and left unchecked, will sow the seeds of the future. Here’s the thing about fear. We are usually afraid of what might happen, or could happen, but the truth of the matter is, it hasn’t happened yet. Rather than believe our scary story and act as if it is true, maybe we can find our way to curiosity. Take a deep breath and simply take the next step, see where it takes us, and trust that since we’ve made it this far, we have no reason to doubt that we will find our way further down our road.
I am no stranger to fear, and have to continually learn that it almost never leads to the next wise choice or the next right step. It only digs my hole a little deeper. Curiosity, however, always seems to lead me to the next rung of the ladder. And the next, and the next, and the next.
Curiosity may not kill the scaredy cat, but it can tame her just a little bit.
Photo: Gijs Coolen on Pexels.com
July 4, 2019
MASTERY
Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle has mastered the art of going crazy in the presence of other dogs and humans. It’s not her fault, it’s ours. Left to her own devices, whenever she is around her four-legged peers, or is introduced to new people, she will whip herself into a hot, uncontrollable frenzy. Ufortunately we left her to her own devices too often when she was a young pup.
What she hasn’t mastered is the art of being calm in the presence of other dogs and humans. It’s not her fault, it’s ours. As a result, we are helping her conquer this new and necessary skill. Whenever encountering other dogs or people, with the help of a few training tools, she is learning to calm herself and is developing good doggie social skills. If we had started this earlier, she wouldn’t have to work as hard as she is to overcome her fallback behaviors and develop new ones. Thankfully she is a smart girl and wants to please us, so she is steadily making her way to mastering these new skills.
Whether we walk on two legs or four, we master what we practice, and it’s never too late to develop new skills.
July 3, 2019
The Voice
There is a voice deep within that is ready to speak to us. It usually doesn’t try to talk over other voices, but waits in the wings until there is enough quiet space for it to speak up. When working with clients or in conversation with friends and family, it never ceases to amaze me how much internal guidance people can access when given the time, space, and a bit of prompting.
One good question can open up the flood gates. This is one of the greatest gifts we can cultivate and offer to one another. The gift of asking the nuanced question, and then being still.
It is so tempting, when silence hangs in the air, to fill in the space with a suggestion, further explanation, or sharing an example from our own life, and as well intentioned as we may be, in filling in the silence we may very well silence the inner voice of the other just when it was ready to come forth.
Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels
