H.A. Larson's Blog, page 29

Sometimes, You Have to Do What Works for You

Back in September, I mentioned how I had been craving some meat so I took the advice of others and let myself have a little. I was hoping that would take care of my cravings, but it didn't. In fact, the cravings have only gotten stronger as time has worn on, so I thought if I added some iron to my diet that that might help. Again, it didn't. 
This had really gotten me thinking about things and I wondered if I should start eating animal products again. I mean, I was never an ethical vegan to begin with, but rather I started eating a plant-based diet in order to get healthier and lose some weight. And to that end, it was a success. I fell in love with vegetables again and lost weight. Eventually, however, I adapted to the new diet and began eating like crap (yes, you can eat like crap on a vegan diet) and overeating. 
Three years into plant-based eating, back in May 2018, I was tired of yo-yo-ing on my weight and had already begun an aggressive walking plan, so I decided to try keto. I actually worked well for me during the month that I tried it, but being vegan AND keto is tough, so I gave it up. I told myself then that if I ever decided to start eating meat again that I would give keto another go.
Sooo, after nearly four years of being a vegan, I've given it up and returned to eating an omnivore diet. I'm not just eating any omni diet, but, like I promised myself last year, I went keto. I've got about 50 more lbs that I want to lose, and I think this is going to help me out. I'm already familiar, obviously, with how keto works, but it will be easier now that I can eat meat, eggs, and dairy. 

Wish me luck!

My Lucky Year

While I'm not big into believing in things like horoscopes, I like to occasionally look at them for fun. I mean, you can't really believe that a blanket horoscope for a sign is going to be accurate for everyone on the planet born under that sign, can you? No, but it's kinda fun to see what they say, and, honestly, one can pick and find things in each one that seem to relate to them.
Now, I might look at a horoscope once a month, if I think about it, but for the last handful of years I've taken to seeking out my yearly horoscope. For those of you not familiar, or for those of you who think horoscopes are bullshit, a yearly horoscope is just that. It lays out how your year should play our for you based on whatever hokey things astrologers use to determine such things.
I remember reading my 2018 horoscope and it was kinda ho-hum, nothing spectacular, and it sure didn't predict with any accuracy what my year really turned out to be like. The other day, now that I'm feeling like myself again, I remembered that it's 2019 and decided to take a look at my 2019 yearly horoscope. Well, unlike the past years where I've bothered to look, this is going to be my year! Check it out.
"You are one lucky duck this year, Sagittarius. In fact, if there's any sign who will be able to turn the "impossible" into "I'm possible," it's you. You can thank your ruling planet, Jupiter, for that. See, he moved into your sign back on November 8, 2018, and as 2019 begins he's going strong in Sagittarius, giving you the most incredible personal blessings until December 2. Even after this time the blessings won't stop -- they'll just shift focus from the personal to the financial. You honestly can't go wrong this year."
Do I believe my horoscope? No, I don't. Okay, maybe just a little, but only because I want to believe that this year, indeed, will be my lucky year. Thanks, Jupiter! Here's to hoping my horoscope comes true! 

I'm Changing it Up

Now that a new year is upon us, it's safe to say that I'm putting last year firmly behind me. I'm free of toxic things and toxic people, and my mindset is incredibly positive. It's a refreshing change, but it's come with a unique set of challenges as well.

One of those challenges are the three books I have started but haven't touched in months. I realized, recently, that I'm so far removed from them, their stories, and their characters that I would almost need to start over from scratch.

Not being familiar with them anymore also meant that my inspiration to work on them had died. For a while there, I wondered if my desire to write had left me altogether.

Luckily, I was looking through my folder on my computer where I keep my work, and I ran across a book that I planned to write after Vanished. As is my usual standard, I made a cover and wrote a few paragraphs. When I opened up the file and read through a couple of paragraphs, I was struck by inspiration. It was like a breath of fresh air to feel like the writer I am again. I'm now earnestly working on this story and I'm excited about it.

I'm back.

Out of the Darkness

Last night, I finally rid myself of the last of the things that were keeping me down, effectively bringing an end to the darkness I have been living in.

You couldn't imagine the intense sense of relief I felt at being able to finally feel a sense of freedom from the chains that bound me.

It's almost unimaginable how much my life has changed in a year...how much my mindset has changed in a year.

A year ago, I was embroiled within a couple of organizations I felt strongly about; I was ready to embrace my roles in these groups to the hilt; I had grand plans for the future based off of these organizations; and I was going to finally finish one of two novels I had in the works.

Halfway through the year, I realized that I was completely miserable. The organizations made me miserable; my hormones made me miserable; and I was tired of gaining and losing weight on a yo-yo while being unhealthy. So, I decided right then and there that things were going to change. And they did. I changed my entire life around in a year.

I've also realized that I'm so far removed from the two books I started a while back, that I'd rather do something different. Therefore, I'm going to work in earnest on a book that I started with a lone paragraph. It's fresh, it's new, it's different. Just like me.

I am ready to reclaim my life in a new and different direction. I'm back to the former me, only improved and a little different. I can't wait to begin again.



"Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends.
We're so glad you could attend, come inside come inside."

-Emerson, Lake, and Palmer

Latest Libations: 12th Edition

So, admittedly, it's been quite some time since I've done a Latest Libations. This is largely due to the fact that money has been pretty tight around here so we've been knocking back cheap beer for months. I have had some good drinks here and there, however, so why don't I share the tasty beers I have had?



I took a trip to Portland back in October and I got to indulge in a few nice beers, this being one of them. Lagunitas brewery puts out some good brews, but I had never seen this one before. I love fruity beers but oftentimes that equates to being overly sweet. This one struck the perfect balance. Brewed with Turkish Delight cherry juice, this only had a hint of sweet allowing for the flavor of the ale to still shine through.



This was the second beer I had out in Portland and I was not disappointed. This Bavarian-style double bock was everything you'd expect in a dark lager. Ayinger is one of the better-known double bock brewers, so this should come as no surprise.



This New Belgium brewery offering came in one of their holiday 12-pack samplers. An American Pale Ale, it wasn't bad. I wasn't crazy about it but it was better than some.



I know I've sung their high praises before, but I truly have never had a bad beer from Boulevard Brewery. This Jam Band berry ale was sweeter than I typically like, but it worked perfectly with this beer. I definitely had a mixed jam taste wrapped around a perfect ale. Delicious and I would highly recommend this to anyone!



Lucky Bucket is a local brewery for me and I've reviewed this beer before. While it's definitely not one of their best beers, this lager is decent and I could always knock one back.



Oh, how I lament the greatness that Shiner Brewery used to be. I visited the brewery in Shiner, Texas, back in my mid-20s and you can't beat the original Shiner Bock. It used to be one of my favorite beers. Unfortunately, Budweiser bought out Shiner a few years back and now they make all these weird flavored Shiners. This s'more Shiner was really quite bad and super sweet. It didn't even have much in the way of a natural flavor. My suggestion to you? Don't bother with it.

Well, that's it for this edition of Latest Libations. Have a great rest of your weekend!

2018: The Year in Review

In the six years that I've been operating this blog, I've never done a proper year in review. I have created a New Year's Post, but this will be my first actual review. 2018 was quite the year, I must admit. Many things happened, good and bad, as well as plenty of changes.

1. I helped successfully put together a major convention, an undertaking not to be taken lightly. It was successful even, making it all the more satisfying, and I realized my full potential. I can do whatever I set my mind to.

2. The Teen graduated from high school with honors. It was a great sense of pride to watch my son go through such a huge milestone in life.

3. I took over a couple of organizations as the head. While I ended my relationship with one and will soon do the same with the other, I learned a lot from my roles in both. I learned how to be a leader.

4. We had a fun family vacation in June. We visited with the families that we rarely see, and got lots of good hiking in.

5. I sent Nature Girl off to Middle School. Another milestone in one of my children's life. She really blossomed and grew over the summer, becoming a young lady.

6. I settled The Teen into his first semester of college. While I cried when I left him, I left knowing that he was ready and that he would do well, rising above any challenge he would face.

7. I got opportunities to travel - going to New Orleans, Portland, and Washington D.C. While I enjoyed each trip, Portland was my favorite as I strictly got to be a tourist while visiting one of my best friends and getting to experience some majestic nature.

8. I had a wonderful holiday shutdown from my job. Every year, we shut down for approximately a week and a half, and it's a wonderful little vacation. I rented a cabin for my birthday, I got plenty of hiking in, I actually accomplished things I hadn't for months prior, I finally started reading in earnest again, and I got to spend quality time with my family and friends.

9. I grew and changed so much over the year, and, as such, so did some relationships around me. I stepped into situations outside of my comfort zone and learned to embrace them. I dealt with hard truths head-on, finally dealing with them and solving the issues behind them. I never would have thought, at the beginning of the year, exactly how different things would be at the end of the year.

10.  I lost 60 lbs - 110 lbs in total - this year and walked a total of 838.08 miles since I started keeping track in late April.

11. Finally, I dealt with a year of hell inside my mind but still managed to stand tall. As I move ever closer to menopause, dealing with the hormonal changes and the effect they have on my brain, has been one of the hardest, most challenging things I've ever had to endure, let alone deal with. While things are seeming to settle down, I know I still have a long road ahead of me. I will persevere.


I'm looking forward to 2019. Why? Well, I'm looking forward to putting the tough stuff behind me and moving forward with the good stuff. I have changes I'm going to make and projects I'm going to accomplish. This will be my best year yet.


Happy New Year my friends and fans! I hope your year will be as grand as you are.

-H.A.

Holiday Ruminations

For the bulk of December, we were fortunate enough to experience fairly mild temperatures. In fact, as Christmas approached, the weather held solid in the 40s, making for plenty of outdoor time. This morning, as I sit here, a cup of coffee in hand, I'm watching large, puffy white flakes fall out of the sky at an ever-increasing rate. It seems Winter is finally here. 
I'm fortunate to have a job that shuts down for a week and a half over the holidays. Two years ago I had a wonderful break, but last year was so terribly disappointing that I went back to work in a worse mood than when I left. This year, then, I was determined to make this break everything I wanted it to be.
The first day of the shutdown was my birthday (Saturday), so I rented a cabin with a fireplace for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. 



This was Friday night, the night we checked in. I thought it looked perfectly of an opening shot to a horror film, which was wonderful in my book.


Saturday was my birthday so went hiking and exploring, starting with the large frozen pond behind the cabin. 



After a good hike, we made our way back to the cabin where the kids made me a birthday cake and we enjoyed listening to music, playing games, and enjoying the fireplace.



The next day, we went out for another round of hiking and exploring. It was a ton of fun. We enjoyed another peaceful night at the cabin before checking out on Monday. Monday was Christmas Eve which is the day we celebrate Yule at my house.




I made a delicious stir-fry with lots of veggies and tofu over a three-grain blend - not rice. We then opened presents. 



Early the next morning, I decided I wanted to take a solo hike. So, while everyone was sleeping, I snuck off to one of my favorite spots in the Iowa Mountains - Hitchcock Nature Center. Since I didn't have the kids with me, I took nothing but medium and hard trails and clocked in about 4.35 miles.



I ended the hike by climbing out and walking the boardwalk trail back to the main road.
I tried walking on the 26th, but it was raining pretty good and I wasn't prepared as it really started raining good as I started walking. Instead, Nature Girl and I headed to the stores to spend our gift cards. I bought a book I've wanted to read for years, Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, and then I bought myself some base layers and an insulated hoodie for hiking.



Yesterday, then, since I had new, warm hiking/walking gear, I bundled up, grabbed my umbrella, and took a city walk. It was beautiful and rainy, although slightly chillier than the previous few days, but I stayed warm and dry.




And, I managed to clock in 5.33 miles. Unfortunately, because of the weather this month, I'm only halfway to my goal of 100 miles, but I have done a few days of cardio. That makes up for it, right? haha
My winter break has been really wonderful so far. Even as it snows heavily today, I will work on writing, read a few chapters of my new book, and cook some delicious food. I hope your holiday season has been wonderful so far. 
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Coffee Talk: Downtime, Darkness, and The Write Life

Good morning! I trust you've had a good weekend so far and will go into a new week feeling renewed and reinvigorated. I've had a lot of lazy weekends recently, and while it's still kind of foreign for it to be that way, I've been adjusting to it quite well. I've always felt, for some reason, that I should get up out of bed early on the weekends and get things accomplished. I've abandoned this way of thinking over the last couple of months and, instead, have embraced enjoying downtime. I jump out of bed early all week, why do it on the weekends as well? Besides, there are plenty of hours in a day to get things done. I have to admit...it's been fantastic lazing about on Saturday mornings.

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We are in the throes of Winter, whether that is officially the case or not. Snow has fallen well in my neck of the woods, and it has brought the cold with it. I had a week and a half where I couldn't walk to work and back because of the extreme cold, but it warmed up to the 40s this last week - which will continue into next week - which has allowed me to walk again. It's amazing how much I missed a week. With Winter comes the darkness as well, and I've been relishing in it. It's stirring up ideas in my mind and I'm looking forward to translating that to my writing.

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The Write Life has been moving at a snail's pace lately. I admit that I'm still having a hard time fully immersing myself back into my idle projects. I was lamenting that for a week or so, but I decided to cut myself some slack. My life is what it is, and I am just going to have to accept it and roll with the punches until I'm ready.

I have had a good amount of time to self-reflect and I do like how things are shaping up in my life. You can't stay down on the ground forever.

Have a good Sunday, my friends.

The Winter of My Discontent

"Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace, Have no delight to pass away the time, Unless to spy my shadow in the sun And descant on mine own deformity: And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover, To entertain these fair well-spoken days, I am determined to prove a villain And hate the idle pleasures of these days."
- William Shakespeare, Richard III


When I was a kid, I thought Winter was the best season ever. Summer was too hot and it didn't have the mounds of snow that were so much fun to play in. Every winter I relished in bundling up in layers of snow gear to enjoy sledding, intertubing down large hills, building snow forts, having massive snowball fights, and just playing in the snow. I loved wearing sweaters and flannel, and enjoyed many steaming cups of mulled apple cider, hot cocoa, and bowls of soup.

The older I got, however, the less and less Winter appealed to me until I finally grew to have a fair amount of disdain for the cold, dark, and bleak days that have few hours of sunlight. Fast forward a few more years, and I realized that Winter encapsulates me perfectly. I have always had a dark side. I embrace the night, I appreciate the dark, I long for harsh sounds, and the absence of light allows me to be anonymous.

I have entered the Winter of my discontent, but this year, I am looking forward to it.

Changes are a Fact of Life

Change is an inevitable fact of life. No matter how much you might resist it...it will happen.

For the most part, I believe that change is a wonderful thing. If nothing changes, then everything remains the same. If everything remains the same, then growth will never happen.

Growth is the measure by which life learns, evolves, and expands. It's necessary for the advancement of people and society.

Yet, there are those who resist change, whether it's a small or large change, even if we're open to it.

The truth of the matter is that change, no matter how much it can help us, can be really hard to deal with. Sometimes, in fact, change can be downright ugly.

Why is this so? Well, simply put, facing change head on is equal to fear of the unknown. You know change is coming, you know it's necessary, but you don't know how everything is going to be or how it will look after the change. It's downright frightening at times when you don't know how your future will be.

It's easier, during those times, to wish things could stay the same. But they can't. And they won't.

Don't fight it.

No matter what, you will be fine. Trust me.