Betty Adams's Blog, page 37

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Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
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Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



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Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON
​

Humans are Weird - Snow

 Humans are Weird – Snow


Pale full-spectrum light was filtering in through the frozen precipitation on the skylights. Fifteenth-Click flew up to the next one and opened his mouth to sound the seal. He sent out the soundwave and waited for it to ping back and echo properly before he snatched a perch on the wide gripping ledge the human design left on the edges of their windows. The water cold material was clearly leaching heat from the room. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make his winghooks twitch uneasily.
“How’s it going up there little buddy?” a voice called out from below.
Fifteenth Click glanced down and saw the diurnal maintenance worker standing by the desk, resting his upper body on his polearm of a cleaning swab. He decided that now was as good a time for his break as any and gladly released the chilling window seal and fluttered down to his coworker.
“The seals are in fact within the parameters the architects gave us,” Fifteenth Click admitted. “Nothing is leaking, the condensation is all but nonexistent, and the thermal loss is withing acceptable margins, but by the tattered wing those parameters! Why in the roots of the tallest tree in the forest do you build in extraneous movement to your structures?”
“Don’t you little guys build in flexibility to your tree cities?” the human asked with an amused smile.
“Not around critical windows designed to keep water out!” Fifteenth Click exclaimed, pulling out a juice orb and stuffing it in one cheek. “That congealed sap like substance you manufacture is something else for absorbing the movement as a seal but it is crazy to depend on it with that load of snow up there? Why not just forgo windows entirely and rely on the full spectrum artificial light sources?”
“Folks like natural light,” the human said as he began to run the swab over the floor.
“Understandable,” Fifteenth Click admitted, landing on the soft surface of the human’s hat. “Be that as it may I still don’t understand why you humans feel the need to build permanent bases in these death trap climate pockets anyway. This planet has multiple habitable zones where the air won’t suck your life out if you go outside without a thermal coating.”
“The mines are here,” the humans said with a shrug, “and we can endure the snow well enough to-”
The far door swung open with a burst of the deep, resonant notes of human song and a midsize human female came spinning into the room.
“-outside is frightful! But my dear, you’re so delightful!” she sang out as she circle the room, seemingly unaware of the two of them.
Fifteenth Click stared in fascination as he chewed thoughtfully on his orb.
“Of course,” his friend muttered, “the snow ain’t so bad but you do have to put up with this sort of nonsense from the snow lovers.”
The other human was now drifting towards them, singing some tune that seemed to be about accepting the current situation with good grace because your social group was pleasant. Fifteenth Click thought that an admirable and sensible sentiment, and he wondered what his friend found irritating in the displayed behavior. The woman finally noticed them and grinned, turning her dance to a bouncy walk in their direction.
“Did you see outside Bob?” she demanded. “Did you see? It must have snowed all night! There is like a foot of the stuff on the ground. I made a whole snow family this morning and a little sno-glu village! And the wing who roosts in my rafters even requested if they could use the sno-glus for their outdoor exercises! I am going to try and organize a company wide snowball fight this afternoon. It’s going to be tricky because of the dangers of hitting one of the Winged so we will have to cordon the area off and -”
The human glanced up at the now opaque skylights and her words turned into a squeal of delight that almost reached a normal pitch. Her feet tapped fast and rhythmically on the floor.
“There’s so much snow!”
She darted forward and placed a kiss on Bob’s cheek before darting to the door, to, presumably, go back out into the snow.
“And you do not find her positive attitude pleasant?” Fifteenth Click asked after she had gone.
Bob heaved a massive sigh and began swabbing the mop over the floor again.
“It just gets a little old,” he explained, “it gets old real quick and folks like her who had just a little bit of snow growing up stay like that pretty much all winter.”



Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
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Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON


​

Kaiju NO. 8 Chapter 53 Full Spoilers – Everyone of These Character are Precious – and it Hurts

Kaiju NO. 8 Chapter 53 Full Spoilers - Review & Analysis - Emotional Devastation for Everyone! 
https://youtu.be/vafXHVF1-fU
#shonenJump #Manga #KN8 #KN9 #Shinomiya

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten

Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON


​​​

Major Mistake in the Book "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"

So my loyal fans have found and reported the (first?) major editing mistake in the book. It turns out that one chapter in Book 2 is a repeat of a chapter from Book 1. 
Now this isn't supposed to happen, the books are suppose to be 80% pre-internet published and 20% OC but there are not supposed to be duplicate stories book to book. 
What kills me is that I really had to cut this one down story wise to fit in the longer  adventure story at the end. So that means that I regretfully sent several good stories to the "next time" file and one of them could have replaced this duplicate....
Ah well... Such is life. 
I will pay better attention next time.

Lost in Space Season 3 Episode 4 – Nothing Left Behind – Hope is the Point, Sacrifice is the Moto

Lost in Space Season 3 Episode 4 – Nothing Left Behind – Hope is the Point, Sacrifice is the Moto
https://youtu.be/3i4FmHeg4W0
#LostinSpace2018 #LIS #Robot #Robinson #Scarecrow

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
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Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON


​​

Doron Dororon Chapter 4 Review & Analysis - What Is The Purpose of that Symbol

Doron Dororon Chapter 4 Review & Analysis - What Is The Purpose of that Symbol
https://youtu.be/tpiMGLKhVpg
#ShonenJump #Manga #Kusanagi #Dora #Monsters
​

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten

Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON


​

Humans are Weird - Cough It Up

Humans are Weird – Cough It Up
“It is fascinating because of the very contradictory nature,” Twistsup observed in a muffled tone. “A species that is so vulnerable to oxygen diffusion variables having such specific responses to diving is a beautiful conundrum.”
“Fascinating conundrum my lagging end,” Thrustsunder replied in an equally muffled voice. “It’s useful is what it is. I don’t care how good the absorption spectrum on our drones is we need people down there. Now if only we didn’t have to translate all of their observations from their limited bifocal range we could really began to make progress on the ecological studies.”
“Are you two comfortable?” Human Friend Karoline asked absently as she angled her shoulder to activate the door of the final airlock. “I can really stop to take this stupid suit off if you want.”
“We are fine,” Twistup assured her. “The off gassing does not distress us anymore.”
“Because the material reached the age where it stopped off gassing?” she asked, “or because you are so saturated with the chemical you no longer notice it?”
Both Undulates, each tucked under one of her arms gave an amused wriggle.
“You know very well that we are not susceptible to such weaknesses,” Thurstsunder said to her.
“How you little cuddle mops avoid the law of diminishing returns beats me,” Human Friend Karoline observed as the final airlock hissed out a warning but opened as the override kicked in.
“It is not normal for a sapient species to be able to turn off their warning systems,” Twistup replied, “at least not so quickly.”
“Works for us,” Human Friend Karoline said with a grunt as she lumbered to a halt in the brilliant lights of the main corridor, her feet sloshing in the water.
Here eyes squinted shut as she adapted to the extreme light gradient between the airlock and the main base systems.
“I see that Human Friend Craig has managed to calibrate the spectrum generator,” Twistup observed. “That should help with your sleep patterns.”
Human Friend Karoline blinked painfully up at the light sources on the ceiling and frowned.
“I’ll have to take your word for it little buddy,” she said. “All looks the same to me, but I’m an ecologist, not an engineer.”
“We could probably use a few more engineers,” Thrustsunder observed in a somber tone, drooping his appendages down to the black slurry of water on the corridor floor.
“We’re getting on,” Human Friend Karoline said, shifting him back up so he rested on her hip bone. “Craig says he should have the filters working well enough that you should be able to shuffle along in this stuff before too many weeks is up, and we can still do our research, so as long as you don’t mind being carried places the disaster might as well have not happened.”
“Being carried does not bother me in the slightest,” Twistup said. “However I would protest that the differences in our base before and after the volcanic eruption are far more significant than you seem to imply.”
“Eh,” the humans said with a shrug. “No one died, and it’s not likely to get worse before the supply ship comes and notices that we haven’t updated the satellite array in months. We’re fine.”
Twistup thought about pointing out that being trapped under miles of ocean in a base that was functioning at a fraction of it’s normal capacity was hardly ‘fine’ by any definition of the word, but he suspected that this was the human coping mechanism of denial and was reluctant to disturb it under the circumstances, and what she said was technically true. Still, the humans had been much more proportionately dismayed when the catastrophe had occurred. Somehow, they had just adapted and no longer considered being trapped in a dying base, surrounded by the crushing forces of the depths a problem worth dwelling on.
Human Friend Karoline turned and opened the door to the main living area. This section of the base was flooded as well, but the humans had placed a network of gratings over the water level the straining pumps maintained. Overhead the deep violet water of the ocean planet swirled, glittering with the volcanic particulate matter that plagued their attempts to leave or communicate. The severed surface lift drifted in the currents, now serving nicely as a directional indicator as it could no longer carry the base to the surface miles above.
“Yo little dudes, Carebear,” Human Friend Craig called out from where he was preparing himself some drink.
“Craig,” Human Friend Karoline replied absently as Twistup and Thrustunder waved. “Got their nap pods ready?”
Human Friend Craig indicated the direction of the passive thermal regulation food storage devices the humans had repurposed for the Undulates’ use.
“Red or blue?” Human Friend Karoline asked as she approached.
“Red,” Thurstunder requested.
“As long as we are up I would like to secure my datapad,” Twistup mentioned.
“Gotcha.”
Human Friend Karoline lifted the lid of the red container with her toes and dropped Thurstunder in before turning and placing Twistup on the main counter. Twister shuffled over to his cupboard and pulled out his datapad. He took a moment to make sure he had the proper data downloaded for the research he wanted to do and hummed in dissatisfaction. He was missing several critical human physiology articles he wanted. He knew they had them, but with the central computers crushed beneath a spire of volcanic rock he would have to feel around and find them by social touch. Human Friend Craig was leaning back against the counter taking short sips his drink and Twistup ambled over to the human while keeping most of his attention on making a list of documents to request. Twistup reached the human and noticing that Human Friend Craig was focused on draining the last of his drink and was rather distracted, gave him a nice solid poke in the ribs to get his attention.
“Hork!”
Human Friend Craig’s entire body suddenly arched back and then doubled forward, his hands slapping down to brace themselves on the grating. His central mass began to spasm and he released a series of utterly alien sounds that weren’t entirely unrelated to the ones the filters made when they began to overload with volcanic debris. Human Friend Craig was clearly in distress, his face flushed with the stress colors that indicated oxygen deprivation in a human, however Human Friend Karoline seemed more amused than concerned.
“You use the other tube for water idiot,” she said cheerfully watching Human Friend Craig, who was now slapping the grating with the palm of his hand, sending resounding tremors through the room.
“Is Human Friend Craig in danger?” Twistup asked?
The human in question shook his head, and the noises did seem to be decreasing in intensity.
“What caused that reaction?” Thrustunder asked.
“If I had to guess,” Human Friend Karoline said with a smile, “I’d say that when Twistup poked Craig it startled him and he inhaled when he should have been swallowing. Then the lungs rejected the fluid in favor of some nice tasty gas.”
“I am very sorry!” Twistup said with concern.
Human Friend Craig waved a hand in negation as he staggered to his feet again.
“I’m...fine…” he gasped out. “Breathing...now.”
“How is it possible,” Thrustunder demanded, “that a species with a dedicated diving response is capable of shorting out your survival systems by just attempting to absorb water in internal regulatory amounts?”
Human Friend Craig shrugged, his massive chest still pulsing with the effort to circulate enough air to calm his systems.
“Don’t know,” he said, “but as Memaw used to say when we were watching the baby-”
“A human can drown in a tea cup of water,” Human Friend Caroline interjected.
“Memaw said two tablespoons,” Human Friend Craig corrected her with a laugh. “But this reminds me. I need to check the filters. Peace out little dudes. Choke on your own spittle Carebare.”
Human Friend Karoline held up two of her digits in the symbol for victory or peace as he strode out the door.

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
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Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

Give Him Back! Kaiju NO. 8 Is Going To Bring Isao Shinomiya Back to His Little Girl

Give Him Back! Kaiju NO. 8 Is Going To Bring Isao Shinomiya Back to His Little Girl
https://youtu.be/V8OfY7yaeq4
#ShonenJump #MAnga #KaijuNO8 #KN8 #KN9

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten

Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

Humans are Weird - Lava - Where I Beg For Amazon Reviews!

 Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
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Humans are Weird – Lava


“So the commander of the central flight wants to make a formal ceremony of the act of gratitude,” Forty-five Clicks informed the human who was busily strapping something onto his legs. “He—”
Forty-five Clicks stopped speaking as he realized exactly what the human had been trying on. Just to make sure, he flew up to the top of the backpack the human was loading and chirped in, sounding the fragrant depths.
“Why are you packing up this personal heat shielding?” Forty-five Clicks demanded. He wasn’t sure why all the fur on his body stood on end, but by the gum of the mother tree, he had learned to trust that instinct.
“I need it to get the samples,” the human replied cheerfully.
Forty-five Clicks wasn’t one to perch on ceremony even by the loose standards of his people. He leapt up, threw all of his forty grams of mass in the face of the human, and dug his winghooks into the soft flesh under the human’s ears. This let him glare furiously into one of the cavernous pupils of the larger mammal.
“What… samples?” Forty-five Clicks demanded.
“Of the lava,” the human said quickly. “Hey, winghooks, man.”
“Why?” Forty-five Clicks pressed.
“For fun,” the human replied.
“Where are you going to get lava from?” Forty-five Clicks demanded as slowly as he could.
“That volcano that just popped,” the human replied, gesturing in what Forty-five Clicks assumed was meant to be the direction of the former mountain. It wasn’t. How did they survive in nature on their own, the poor directionless things?
“The volcano,” Forty-five Clicks said. “The one that nearly killed three flights. The one that took down not only our silverwing atmospheric flyers but also one of your near indestructible helicopters. The one that utterly destroyed hectares of land. The one that is currently spewing ash, gas, and liquid magma.”
“It isn’t magma after it gets to the surface!” the human insisted.
Forty-five Clicks groaned and loosed the human. He slid down the human’s chest until he was caught in the broad hand. The hand that was covered in scars so thick any one of them would have utterly incapacitated his wings and a fresh cut that he knew the human had gained in the rescue operation. Forty-five Clicks sighed and rubbed his eyes.
“You are not going to collect magma—”
“Lava,” the human corrected hopefully.
“Lava samples from the volcano,” Forty-five Clicks said as firmly as he could. “For fun.”
“And why not?” demanded the human.
“I just can’t right now,” Forty-five Clicks said. “Just go ask the commander.”
“Will do then,” the human said cheerfully as he set off.
Forty-five Clicks flew up and passed over the backpack once again. He glared at the thermal armor. He had assumed it was only for rescue missions. His mistake.
​ Humans are Weird
​Book Series



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)


Barnes & Nobel (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)


Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)


Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)




Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 144 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

Humans are Weird - In the Groove

​ Humans are Weird – In the Groove


“How are you so good at this?” Five Clicks demanded as he shifted his datapad to the side and peered down from his perch at the Undulate poised, half on the surface of the table, half on the damp stone below it.
The Undulate, Rollstotheleft or something, Five Clicks was still having trouble remembering the names of his new engineering staff, was the only representative of his species at the long, oblong table. Several Shatar comprised the bulk of the crew, mostly cousins under the fifteenth degree under the supervision of a few single digit sisters, lining the table for most of its’ length. Their smooth, dry hands folded the complex shapes necessary for the carry pods and inserted the various supplies with delicate precision. However not even the single digit sisters were making half the time and accuracy that the usually lackadaisical Undulate was. His pile of supplies was the second largest at the table and the inspection flight that Five Clicks fronted for was swooping off on their third trip to the shipment bay.
“I really don’t see why you are so surprised,” the Undulate said as a flowing line of appendages passed a folded packet down the length of his body, tucking in the various supplies as it went before the last appendage dropped the completed item in the pile at his rear.
Although to be perfectly honest Five Clicks had never been able to accurately tell an Undulate’s leading end from his lagging end.
“This is just folding after all,” the Undulate said. “If there is one thing my species is optimized for it is folding.”
“You have no spatial reasoning!” Five Clicks exclaimed.
“Incorrect,” the Undulate stated in a prim tone as he tossed another completed pack onto the pile, “what we lack is the ability to calculate the vectors of incoming projectiles. As soon as an item is in our grasp we have excellent spatial reasoning.”
“Well the humans are still faster,” Five Clicks said with a sigh.
“Yes,” the Undulate in an amused tone, “the three humans are managing to significantly outperform me by combining their efforts.”
Five Clicks sighed again and flitted over to check on the Shatar. A cousin, small by female Shatar standards was meticulously placing a respirator into its assigned fold before reaching for and empty packet that had clearly held a water purifier. She gave a click of distress when she realized it was empty, but before Five Clicks could help her a sister swept up and replaced the pack, only pausing to stroke antenna with the distressed cousin.
“Our Winged friends will be so happy when they get these packs,” the sister said with a hint of pride in her voice. “You are being such a good help!”
The cousin chirped happily and accepted the packet and the caress with good grace. Five Clicks was about to confirm the sister’s statement but the sister tilted her head at him and set her mandibles in a stern angle. Five Clicks backed off. He wasn’t sure exactly why the sisters were so protective of the lesser cousins, but he had learned to respect their fury if you disturbed them. It was a sign of the trust and friendship that existed between the base of Winged and the local hives that they were allowed to meet any cousin past the fifteenth degree at all, let alone that the fathers risked sending them out of the gardens to help with something so stressful. Five Clicks wasn’t going to mess that up by offending an eighth sister.
“The humans,” Five Clicks turned at the soft click and fluttered down to land on the shoulder of the senior sister.
“What about the humans?” Five Clicks asked glancing at his notes, “Ah, Third Sister?”
“Fifth Sister,” she replied dryly, “I was wondering if you had thought to check their hydration and nutrition status?”
Five Clicks squinted up at her.
“As I am neither their medic nor their commanding officer, no, I have not,” he said, wrinkling his nose in confusion.
“It might be worth your efforts,” Fifth Sister said, dislodging him from her shoulder with a shake. “Given the essential and imperative nature of our work the humans are likely to suppress their trained safety protocols.”
Five Clicks tried to make sense of that. He glared over at the three humans hunched over the end of the table. One was folding the packs with the speed of the Undulate, then tossing it to the second who filled it with supplies with the delicacy of the Shatar. The full pack was then passed to the third human who sealed it and stacked it for the Winged to gather.
“And what danger do they need protocols to defend against in a Shatar garden on an established colony world?” Five Clicks asked.
“Dehydration and fatigue strain mostly,” Fifth Sister said. “That and the complications of slips, trips and falls. Once a human gets too fatigued the dangers begin to multiply.”
Five Clicks sighed and fluttered over to the trio. He knew better than to question a warning from a senior sister.
“Human Friend Fred?” he asked.
The human folding the packets glanced up at him and grinned.
“It’s Fiona,” she said with a laugh, “but yes?”
“Have you availed yourself of the refreshments we have provided yet?” Five Clicks asked. “I am told that humans find the savory juices particularly refreshing.”
“We will,” Human Friend Fiona said with a dismissive toss of her head. “We just got in the groove.”
A murmur of agreement came from the other two humans. Five Clicks had not idea what a “groove” could mean in this context, but now that he was looking he could see the clear indicators of dehydration and hyper-focus on the humans’ faces. Luckily those were rather universal in mammals. Five Clicks reviewed the instructions in his mind, find the lowest ranked human physically, preferably one with an injury or a physical weakness. All three humans were healthy and sound but one was significantly older than the others. Five Clicks made aggressive eye contact as the manual suggested and repeated.
“The savory juices are particularly refreshing.”
The human he had selected twitched and Five Clicks witnessed the moment his meaning was processed. The human straightened and stretched.
“I could use some savory juice,” the human said in a tone of obviously enforced duty.
The other two humans paused and looked longingly at the pile of completed packs, but they sighed and stood with various noises popping from their massive joints.
“Juice break it is,” Human Friend Fiona said with a sigh.
“We have the groove now,” the third human offered soothingly. “We’ll be able to jump right back in after a break.”
The three massive mammals wandered towards the food table and Five Clicks turned his attention to the next problem on his list.  

"Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"



What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia



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Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 140 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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