Shiloh Walker's Blog, page 177

The blues…

I have them.

Logically, I know it's probably because of my friend's passing.  And a bunch of other things, little things and some not so little things that kept piling up-fighting with a tween, a kind of big thing that I was expecting biz-wise from one of my pubs that fell through (no, it's not new book news and really only important to authors, but still, gave me the blahs), stressing about not one but two new book proposals.

But I've got the blues.

If they don't pass soon, I'm probably going to unplug for a week or two (possibly longer) and just tuck my head low until this passes.

When there is hate on both sides…

The result is ugliness.  Plain and simple.

People who read my blog probably know this-I'm not afraid of confrontation.  I actually kind of…well…enjoy it.  It doesn't bother me, doesn't faze me.  But I do get irritated when people think the answer to ugliness is to bring more ugliness into the fray.  It solves nothing.

What am I talking about?

This rather unpleasant piece over at MarieClaire:  Should Fatties Get a Room (FYI… if you want to comment, comment away…but no need to get ugly).  It was written by freelance writer Maura Kelly, regarding a TV show- and had pieces like:

The other day, my editor asked me, "Do you really think people feel uncomfortable when they see overweight people making out on television?"

and

My initial response was: Hmm, being overweight is one thing — those people are downright obese! And while I think our country's obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it's at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity! Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny.

and

yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything.

and

But … I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.

Now, if you're anything like me, you might be sitting there shocked that a so-called 'reputable' magazine actually allowed this to go live.  I kept hearing that Marie-Claire was supposed to be about empowering women, but um… not if they have lots of pieces like this, they aren't.

Am I digusted by this article? Hell, yes.

But many of the commenters-the ones who are as bothered as I am, have disgusted me even more, I'm afraid.

There were comments made that about how the world would be better if the writer didn't exist, how she should hang herself, comments calling her an ignorant bitch, etc, etc, etc.  Now it's easy, very easy to say things when you're pissed.  When there's a lynch mob mentality?  Even easier.

Somebody posted the writer's private info-mailing info, email address.

Now we have lynch mob mentality and there is access to data that the public-especially those in the lynch mob mindset, didn't need to have.

Guys…guess how cyberbullying starts?  Anger, a lack of empathy, lynch mob mentality… we've got anger.  We've got the lynch mob mentality.  And regardless of how flippantly it was meant, telling somebody to go hang herself over an ugly, poorly written article?  Well, now we have a lack of empathy as well.

You want to make them see your fight?  Don't get ugly.  Show them your side.  I saw this over on Jezebel first and I'm copying from there as I'm not wading into the 900+ comment stream to do it.

From commenter Beth over at the Marie Claire post-Should Fatties Get a Room:

Dear Maura Kelly, I sincerely apologize for my disgusting body and all the various rolls of fat on my person. When I married my fat husband back in June I didn't realize it would offend anyone when we got to that "you may kiss the bride" moment, or we would have skipped it. If I'd realized how unacceptable it is for me to have love or happiness, I would have called the wedding off entirely, of course. I have told my husband that there will be no more kissing or cuddling or FATTY SEX until we both lose some weight. I hope he understands… I really am so sorry for being so fat and happy all this time! In your very honest and sensitively written article "should fatties get a room?" you write that fat people should walk more, yet you also write that fat people walking across a room is something you find disgusting. I take long walks around my neighbourhood most days, is this too much? I want to find the correct balance between getting thin and not upsetting anyone with my jiggling body parts. I also swim twice a week and go to the gym once a week, are these activities also disgusting to you? Perhaps I should start doing these activities at night so nobody has to be offended by them. Do you think that would be best? I don't own a television so I haven't seen Mike and Molly. But I do hope they take garbage like off the television soon. As you say, it's implicitly promoting obesity. Surely anyone who watches it will see the yucky fat people making out and suddenly think to themselves "I should gain some weight, that looks like fun." And then where would we be? By the way, I haven't ever had any health problems before but if anything does come up I'll be sure to stay away from the doctor so as not to be a drain on anyone's health costs. Thank you for writing this meticulously well researched, world-changing article. I really think you are going to cure obesity with this! Yay! Your plump friends are very lucky to have a friend like you who is in no way a hateful bully or an ignorant sizeist jerk. Best wishes, Beth

Read more: http://jezebel.com/5673680/what-was-marie-claire-thinking-with-this-fatties-piece#ixzz13YgpoSOB

Is she using some snark there? Absolutely.  But she's also pointing out the numerous flaws in a very flawed article, doing it in a way that probably had the writer cringing-after all, Maura Kelly says she's disgusted by the sight of fat people walking.  Yet then she wants them to walk more.

So here's an open letter to all sides, the ugliness that came from Ms. Kelly, the editors at MarieClaire who really should have thought about letting it go up, and those who are going off the handle with their rage:
Ms. Kelly, the editors are Marie Claire & the angry commenters:
Ugliness is a nasty, bitter circle that only stops when somebody breaks that circle.

Was Maura Kelly wrong? Hell yes.  I think Marie Claire was wrong in allowing that piece to get published as it was and if Marie Claire or Maura Kelly didn't expect to see some sort of response coming, it was foolish on their part.  Maura Kelly is no innocent victim here.

I also think MarieClaire needs to be a little more vigilant in watching comments-particularly when it becomes apparent things are getting out of control-I'm sorry but there is no excuse for you to keep allowing people to post her private info.

Maura Kelly, I feel, would be best served by a more sincere apology.  A sincere apology consists of just that- I was wrong.  I screwed up and I apologize.  No excuses, no rationalizations, just the apology.

Marie Claire would be best served, I feel, by actually empowering women instead of posting things that perpetuate the constant we must look perfect image.  And yeah, I can say that's the image they perpetuate, because the image that's now emblazoned on my mind, other than that ugly piece is the unnaturally-thin model they use on their twitter page.

And the commenters who are telling her the world would be better without her?  Calling her nasty names?  Do you really think that's going to change her mind?  Is it going to make Marie Claire see the problem?  No.  All they are seeing is the fury and the ugliness and it makes them want to form a line of defense, which means they likely won't change.  I've said it before, but ugliness makes nothing change.

Ms. Kelly's ugliness likely didn't make any overweight person want to lose weight.  Attacks rarely do.  What often inspires people to lose weight is when they finally find the need to change and that has to come from inside and the ugliness from others will not do it.  Too often, it just makes it worse.

Morbid obesity is becoming a huge problem is the country-it's something I would see regularly in children when I was the doctor's office full time and you want to talk about sad?  Try explaining to a slender mom who is letting her obese child eat Fritos right there in front of you, drinking a coke, that she needs to get the eating habits better now before it's too late, while the child is in preschool, elementary school and she has some control and the mom just smiles and said, oh, it's baby fat…and five years later, that elementary school child is in middle and almost 300 pounds.  It's enough to break your heart.

Yes, morbid obesity is something that can be changed.  But if it was as easing as simply moving?  There would be no weight problems, and once you become morbidly obese, it's not even a matter of cutting calories-it takes more.  Often you have to fight the right foods to eat for you, it takes support from your family, it takes a commitment that is unlike anything you've ever imagined.

I wasn't even in the morbidly obese arena when I decided I'd had enough and it was still the hardest damn thing I'd ever done, the hardest thing I'm still doing.  Another 20 lbs to go before I hit my goal, even though I'm down 60 lbs.  But if it was easy?  I would have done years ago.  If it was easy? Something that, as Maura Kelly says, we have a ton of control over?  There would be no issues with weight.  If Maura Kelly is, as she says, a recovering anorexic, then she should understand the struggles with body image, how the mind plays tricks on you.  And that right there is one of the biggest obstacles and why so many people struggling with their weight fail, why that support system is so crucial…and why hateful articles are so detrimental.

But on the flipside…her hateful commentary doesn't mean she needs to be told she should go hang herself. She doesn't need to have people posting her private info.

Hate will only breed more hate, guys.    It's a nasty bitter cycle.

more on Beg Me

**Attention…pretty please read…I still don't have a release date for Beg Me.  I'm doing this independently-releasing it through Kindle & Smashwords (which will also release it *hopefully* to Nook, iPad's ebookstore, Sony, etc, etc).  I will not be uploading it anywhere until it's completely done and that won't be until I've had time to go through it again.  I'm working this in around other projects as well other things that are going on.  If you want to make sure you keep up to date on what's going on with it, you might either want to sign up for my newsletter or for my RSS feedburner deal which will email my daily blogs to your email.  To get the blog emailed to you, just look at the box to the top left of the screen.   The newsletter sign up is also on the left, just a little farther down.

I've had a few people ask why I'm doing this on my own.  A couple of reasons.

I'm curious.  A few friends came singing the praises of doing stuff solo and I'll admit.  I'm skeptical.  I've done solo stuff- Hunter's Choice , for one, and honestly? Not making enough to pay my cell phone bill.  Not even close.  But Hunter's Choice was a short story-I couldn't set the price as low as I'd like, it's probably not the best 'experiment' I could do.  Beg Me will give me a better, more objective look at things.
I needed something I was in complete control of.  Whether this flops or flies-I was in complete control this time.   Writing for a living, you very often have to deal with not having as much control as you'd like, and generally, you can work with things-generally, I prefer to have somebody riding along helping with things like covers, titles, etc.  This does mean giving up some (often a lot) of control, but for a while during late summer?  Well, there are times  when a lot of us probably we feel like we have no control.  I had too many of those moments hit me.  And I decided, I wanted something that I controlled-completely.  Whether it flies or flops.
It's this way or make you all wait close to a year for either this book or another Grimm.  My schedule at Samhain got all out of whack for the coming year and I don't want to throw things off any more with the Grimm, nor am I interested in putting this book's release off for a year.
It's a learning experience.  I'm always getting asked about things like this and other than the Hunter's Choice thing and such, I don't have much direct experience.  This is getting me that.  I will tell you–it's not going to be my preferred method of writing for a living, especially not for books that are time-intensive.  The idea for Beg Me hit me hard and fast, and ideas like that generally are easier, faster to write.  Books that aren't fast to write?  That I have to invest months and months of time writing?  I'm not taking such a gamble on those.

I've gotten the edits back and once I'm done with those, I'll get the freelance editor to go through it again, and I plan on getting a second person to do it (ummm… I've already got a person selected).  After that, then it's time to format it.  This could take me a few weeks, it could take me a few days, it could take more time, could take less.  I just don't know.  I'm working this in around my other projects, which do have to come first.  I'm also helping train a new nurse at my old day job which is taking up some time, too, as well as a new book proposal my agent just submitted.

I don't plan on just putting it up either–I need a few weeks so I can work on a bit of promo-get it posted to my various group sites, newsletters, etc, and all of that requires some lead time.

I'd love to give people a firm date, but I just can't.  I'm thrilled so many people are excited about it, but trust me… you'll be happier if it's edited-some of the typos and stuff I make?  They are insane.

Also, I'm probably not going to be around much to talk about this book (or any book) for a few days… a friend of ours died late last week and I'm attending a funeral today.   I'll probably need a few more days before I'm up to feeling social.

Tarnished Knight… now available…

Just a heads-up… I'm guest blogging @ Castles & Guns…

Tarnished Knight is available now… FYI-it's not listed as red-hot, but IMO, that's what it is.  It's every bit as hot as Crazed Hearts was-actually a lot hotter but for some reason, it didn't get the erotic romance/red hots tag.

Now available
Think you know fairy tales… guess again…

erotic paranormal romance

One look at Jack Wallace and Perci knows he's going to be trouble. Even surrounded by soul stealers, he's a one-man wrecking crew. What does he need Grimm training for? He's already hell on earth, a warrior bent on destruction. And something…more.

He's too strong and fast to be a mere mortal. Even covered in blood, he makes her forget she's only here to do a job and get out. It's twisted. Sick. She hasn't felt this alive in three centuries.

Born with a natural talent for killing unnatural things, Jack has always known things he shouldn't. The fact that Perci is one of them glows all over her. Giving him an unholy urge to see just how far he can push her before don't touch me melts into touch me there.

When they come together, it isn't careful or cautious. It's heaven and hell, exposing all their raw and wounded places to healing heat, resurrecting memories of a destined love from the distant past. But the evil that destroyed them once before has tracked them here, threatening their second and last chance at forever. Demanding a sacrifice no one—Grimm or human—should ever be asked to make…

Excerpt

Tiny lead-in… Perci (the heroine) is a healer.

~*~

She weighed nothing.

Jack carried her into his house and tried not to think about how fragile she felt, how delicate.

As he lay her on his bed, he sat down beside her and touched the pulse in her neck, although he wasn't sure why.

It wasn't like she could die, right?

But she'd coughed up blood. She'd collapsed. She was unconscious, and damn it, why the hell had she done that? It wasn't like he hadn't dealt with busted ribs before.

The pulse under his touch was strong, steady, although slower than he would have expected. He sighed and shifted around, buried his face in his hands, and even as he did it, he marveled that he could do it without pain. Not even ten minutes ago, he'd been all but ready to beg for her to just leave him the hell alone just so he could do something about his fucking ribs, and now he was fine.

Driven by curiosity, he stood and moved to the mirror over his bureau, staring at his face. He should have looked like a human punching bag.

But there wasn't even a damn mark on him.

He grabbed the hem of his bloodied and stained T-shirt and pulled it off. His ribs should have been black and blue, but there was nothing.

In the mirror, he looked at Perci's reflection, watched as she shifted, watched her face tighten with pain. He clenched his jaw and turned around, strode across the floor.

She'd taken his injuries, his fucking busted ribs. Sitting down on the side of the bed, he caught her shirt and eased it up. And felt like he'd been sucker-punched all over again. Because her ribs looked easily twice as bad as his should have looked.

"It's…passing."

Shifting his gaze up, he realized she'd woken up and was staring at him, her brown eyes clouded with pain.

"If you hadn't fucking done that, there wouldn't be anything to pass."

"I still would have been hurting, as long as I was anywhere near you." She grimaced. "I heal. I can't be around somebody in physical pain without feeling something, and it's worse with somebody I know, somebody I've…ah…well…"

"Fucked?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I was thinking connected with. If there's some sort of connection, it's a lot worse."

"Then you should have just gotten the hell away from me." He stared at the bruises, willing them to fade. But it didn't seem like they were. Impatient, he grabbed the knife from his boot and sliced her shirt open.

Perci glared at him. "Damn it, what are you doing?"

"You said you heal fast. You should heal fast and I'm not seeing it happen."

"It's only been a few minutes." Then she closed her eyes and took a slow, clearly cautious breath. "I can breathe easier, and it's not hurting as much. The bruises will be the last thing to go. But it's getting better."

Gently, he touched one finger to a bruise. It was an ugly stain on her pale, pale skin and just the sight of it was like an obscenity. "You shouldn't have done this," he muttered. "It was my fight, my fault. You shouldn't have had to deal with the pain."

"I was given a gift to use it." She stared at him with unconcerned eyes, liked she wasn't bothered by the fact that her entire torso was a dark rainbow. "And hey, I've had worse."

"You honestly feel the pain of everybody around you?"

She shrugged. "Not all the time. I can shield against it and I don't help everybody. I can't. Even my energy isn't endless. I've figured that out." She closed her eyes. "And the gift has…changed over time. But this was easy."

"You call this easy?"

"Compared to some of the people I've had to heal? Yes."

He was staring so hard at the bruises it took him a few moments to realize they were actually lessening. Fading away.

It was a slow, gradual thing, and he counted the minutes away as he watched her body slowly absorb the bruises she'd taken from him.

Fifteen minutes after she'd opened her eyes, she squinted at him and demanded, "Are you going to sit there until every last bruise is gone?"

"Yes." He curled his hand over her hip, rubbed one bruise with his thumb. "They never should have gone to you to begin with."

"Oh, for crying out loud…" She went to sit up, but then she froze.

Her brown eyes were only inches away from him, her mouth so very, very close.

"I don't like seeing marks on you," Jack muttered.

Perci's lashes lowered over her eyes. "Unfortunately, I get marked up a lot. But I heal fast. Deal with it."

"Hmmm." He dipped his head and skimmed his lips down her neck. "Why did you leave so fast?"

"I…" She shuddered. "I needed to think."

"Thinking can be very overrated."

"Yeah. But it needed to be done."

"Okay." He brushed the ruin of her shirt aside and nipped the soft curve of her shoulder. "Did it help you figure anything out?"

"No. Not a damn thing." She tilted her head to the side, baring her neck.

Jack took the hint and nuzzled her neck again, scraping the flesh with his teeth and smiling as she shivered. "I like the feel of you, Perci. I like the taste of you."

"Hmmm. The feeling is mutual." She stroked a hand up his side and then whispered, "Jack, can I ask you something?"

"Anything." Damn, he'd give her anything…

Buy…

Samhain Publishing/MBAM | Nook Store | Kindle Store

If anybody is curious about why I decided to totally tear Rapunzel apart…you can blame Lynn Viehl.  She suggested it here…

I always liked Rapunzel, and I'd love to see you rip it to shreds. [image error]

And shred it is exactly what I did, I think… O.o

Available in ebook only right now… should go to print sometime in the next year or so.

Those who did a review of this book, if you'd like, can you leave a link in the comments?  I'll try to remember to round them up when I'm a little more back online, but it might be a few more days-I need a few days downtime… Links often get caught & held, but don't worry, I'll clear them out.

Reviews (FYI, these are the ones I've been notified of via email… I'm still not on twitter much right now)

Bea's book nook
Wayfaring writer
Sybir
The Pen & Muse

Books….

So I was gone over the weekend.  A friend of mine got married–and the wench lives in Michigan, geez…what is it with most of my best friends being scattered across the country?

Anyway, she's in Michigan.  I'm invited.  DH can't go, but we can.  I load up the kids and because I had a new book out, made a booksigning spree out of it.  Hit um…thirteen stores, I think-many of them in Michigan, several in Indiana, and a few in Ohio.  Notably, the Borders on Lohr Rd stands out because the bookseller there was kind of enough to direct me to a place where I got the best margarita…it's also a gorgeous store.

Hit the Paperbacks n Things in Westland, Michigan-that's a great little indy, so if you live around there and need an indy bookstore? Check it out.

And because I want to live here…the Books & Co (booksamillion) in Dayton/Beavercreek…the staff was wonderful, and the store is just…well.  Wow.

Pretty, yes?

FYI, I'm posting this Sunday night, and I might go ahead and post a few things for the next few days, but I'm probably going to be MIA for a few days.  A friend of ours passed away and I doubt I'll feel up to being social or talking much.

PSA….

reminder on the contest and giveaway!

This is a public service announcement… you can find it everywhere, from the most unlikely places. Sadly, there isn't a cure. All we can do is give our understanding. And educate those around you…

Yep. Stupidity.  It's deadly.  (I was in a weird mood this morning…)

The Friday 56… Kalayna Price's Grave Witch

Today's Friday 56 is from Kalayna Price's Grave Witch…on my TBR pile.

She wasn't the only one…

About the Friday 56

Grab the book nearest you. Right now
Turn to page 56.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post that sentence (plus one or two others if you like) along with these instructions on your blog or (if you do not have your own blog) in the comments section of this blog.
Post a link along with your post back to this blog.
Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

FYI, I'm out of town… any comments or questions will be read/addressed when I get home.

Beg me… erotic contemporary romance…

Coming soon from… me.  I'm going to be putting this out on Kindle & Smashwords-Smashwords will get it out thru Nook and various other outlets-just take a couple of weeks. Still waiting on the cover and I have to do the edits on it-I'm using a freelance editor, having a cover done by Angela Waters so it's going to look nice…very nice…correction… I know HAVE cover art…*G*

Hopefully I don't screw up the formatting. O.o

"I want to ask you for a favor," she said, staring at him over her wine glass.

Drake told himself he could get through this—he told himself he wasn't about to lose it, thinking about how sexy and sweet she looked in a short, flippy little tan shirt that left too much leg bare. He told himself he wasn't all but drooling as he thought about the breasts under her close-fitting, clingy black top.

He also told himself the dinner had been delicious, but he couldn't remember what it tasted like or what he'd even eaten twenty minutes ago. Some kind of chicken. He thought. Or maybe pork. Right?

No, he was too focused on Tania, and the fact that she was sitting three feet away from him. Too focused on the fact that his cock was throbbing like a bad tooth and had been ever since she'd let him into her apartment an hour earlier.

Her words rang in his mind. She needed help—finally, though, something real, something physical he could focus on. That would really help. Maybe her car needed a tune-up, that was easy, although why she'd felt the need to cook for him just to ask for that, he didn't know.

"Anything." He tipped his beer bottle back, wetting his throat. Fuck it, she looked so beautiful. She was sitting so close, he could smell the scent of the lotion she'd slicked all over her skin. Good enough to eat, and that's just what he wanted to do, too.

She grimaced and said, "Maybe you should put the beer down. Stop drinking for a minute because I don't want you to choke when I ask."

"Okay." He smirked a little and leaned forward, setting the bottle on the table. "Although I don't know what you could ask that would surprise me that much, Tania."

"Five years ago."

Okay—maybe I was wrong. She can surprise me.

Drake grabbed the bottle. "I think I need the beer," he muttered.

She smiled. "Five years ago," she said again. "You know what I like."

He shifted his gaze to her, all too aware of just how little distance separated them, all too aware of that short, flippy skirt, of the sweet scent of her skin…and just how acutely he remembered things from five years ago.

The First Book of Grimm…

Because this is just too pretty not to share…I'm using it for my new release announcement…

(FYI, I know the print might be too small for some people-if you can't read it, check it out online here…)

The links don't work but that's okay, I can post those here…

Borders | B & N |  Powell's | IndieBound | BAMM |  Amazon

Just a reminder-until 10/25, there are two BIG things going on with this book…

The Contest for the Nook:

Would you like to win a Nook Wifi? You can… here's how.  Buy The First Book of Grimm-either preorder it or buy the first week of release, provide me with the proof of purchase and you're entered.  It's as easy as that.

Online orders and preorders will get you 50 entries
Buying in store the week of release, from 10/19/2010-10/25/2010 will get you 100 entries (BTW, buying it in the store can also get you something extra, keep reading!)
For the no-purchase necessary option, send me a postcard, postmarked between 10/19/2010-10/25/2010. A postcard entry will get you one entry.  You may only send one postcard entry per household. (postcards received before or after these dates will not be entered)

the rest of the details are here…

And the giveaway…

Every self respecting fairy tale comes with a castle, right?

Except I don't think mine are exactly self-respecting…since I was too busy bastardizing them to worry about those sort of things. So since I didn't give you the castle then, how about now?

Candy Houses and No Prince Charming are going into print this October. To celebrate, I'm giving away fairy tale castles. Well…sort of. Bookmarks**.

Yes… giving them away.

Here's how it works. You send me your register receipt-from the store… (sorry, must be purchased in the store for this giveaway) dated between 10/19/2010-10/25/2010…and I'll send you the bookmark, along with one of the printed bookmarks done for The First Book of Grimm.

It's that simple. You just send me the receipt, and you get a bookmark.

See more info here…

And here's a nice long excerpt from one of the stories…

No Prince Charming… Book 2 in The First Book of Grimm

"I'm in hell." Michael turned away from the window, forcing himself not to stare at Elle as she sauntered towards his condo.

She was alone…again.

Alone. And in a matter of seconds, she would be alone in the condo with him.

He didn't know whether to be glad of that fact or terrified.

"Don't be either. Just think about the job," he muttered.

It had been a bad, bad idea agreeing to let her come here to pick him up before they headed to the club this time.

Being alone with her was a bad, bad idea, period.

As much as he hated Ren, it was easier to do the job when he was there providing a buffer.

The first night at the club, when it had been the three of them, had been the easiest, even if he had spent much of it torn between rage and other messy emotions he couldn't quite define.

Having Ren around had made it possible for Michael to keep some measure of control. Now he had only his own strength to rely on because he couldn't count on Ren's presence. The other Grimm likely wouldn't be back—Elle had said he'd been called away to another job, so they were on their own.

At least for the time being.

For now, he'd have to rely on his own strength, his own control to get through this. And that was a laugh, because he had no control with Elle. None. No control, no strength, no tact, no sense. Nothing but need.

And in a few minutes, he'd be alone in this little condo with nothing but her…and his desperate, dark needs.

"Don't think about that. Think about the club. Think about the succubi and the incubi. You've got your hands full with them. There is no time to dwell on personal matters." Michael pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, "Not that there is any sort of personal matter between us."

No. He'd ruined that.

All he had was this job…and the hope that he could protect her.

They'd decided it would look better if they arrived together instead of just meeting there. Elle wanted to drive and Michael imagined it was probably so she could take off running whenever she chose.

It had seemed a logical idea at the time, but now the logic wasn't quite so clear. Especially since she was now on the porch. They were still separated by brick and mortar, but he could feel how close she was.

In a moment, she'd been in here, and they would be alone.

Alone with Elle. It was enough to make logic, control and sanity fly out the window.

The condo, perched on the edge of Lake Erie, was reclusive, remote and relatively private. It would take forty-five minutes to get to the club.

As she knocked, Michael stomped over to the bar and poured himself a snifter of brandy. He waited until he took the first sip before responding.

"Come in." He remained where he was, staring into the cut crystal, swirling the amber liquid around. Better, he thought, better to study the pricey liquor than to look at her.

"Well, aren't you in a happy mood today?" Elle drawled, her voice low and mocking.

Michael flicked a glance her way and took another drink. Not a sip though. He knocked it back, slammed the snifter on the counter and poured himself another drink. He belted that one just as quickly and grimaced as it burned its way down his throat. He was tempted to go for a third drink, but instead set the snifter on the bar and folded his arms over his chest.

Elle sauntered up to stand beside him, and from the corner of his eye, he could see the smirk on her face. She lifted his glass, sniffed it and then, with a shrug, helped herself to a drink of her own. Michael had to turn away when she closed her eyes as she sipped. It was either that or risk pouncing on her like a slobbering fool. She'd be dealing with enough of that later on.

"You don't know how to treat good liquor," Elle said from behind him. She gave a happy sigh and took another sip.

Michael glanced over his shoulder at her. Looking at her proved to be a mistake. Because one quick glance was not enough. Like a puppet on a string, he found himself turning around before he even realized he was doing it.

His voice edgy, he bit off, "If I was in the mind to savor, I'd savor. Right now, I'm more of a mind to get good and drunk."

"Can you get drunk?"

"If I put my mind to it, yes, I imagine I can."

"Hmm. Why don't you put your mind to getting this job done instead?" Elle cocked a golden brow at him, still holding the snifter to her lips. They were slicked wine-red again—wine-red that matched the short silk sheath she wore. It covered her butt, barely. She wore no bra, and through that silk, he could see the outline of her nipples.

Oh, I'm definitely in hell.

"Where did the leather and lace go?" he asked.

"Leather's hot," Elle replied. She glanced down at her dress and then up at him. She smiled as she took another sip of her brandy. "What, don't I look slutty enough?"

Michael clenched his jaw. "You don't look like a slut."

"Oh, I most certainly look like a slut. But that just means I'll blend in." She smirked as she studied his clothes. He was all in black again, a black silk shirt and tailored black trousers.

Under her breath, Elle said, "Tsk. Tsk. Here I am looking nice and slutty, and you look like royalty, Prince Charming." Her voice was mocking.

Michael narrowed his eyes at her. "You know, Elle, I really don't care for that name."

With an unrepentant grin, she said, "I figured as much."

Then her face sobered, and she gestured to his clothing. "Seriously, Michael. You don't blend. We're going to a sex club, for crying out loud. We're not going to the opera."

"There is no opera here," he replied. He glanced down at his clothes and then at hers. "I'll leave you to play dress up, darling. I will go as I am and play the indulgent lover."

She'd been getting ready to take another sip, but she paused, the crystal pressed against her lips. "Indulgent lover?" she echoed.

"It works as well as anything else," he said. He shrugged, gathering his hair in his hand, securing it in a tail at his nape. "You're the lovely woman with a wicked streak and I'm just a besotted fool who'll do anything to keep you happy."

Something flashed in her blue eyes. Carefully, she set the snifter aside and smoothed a hand down her silk-covered side. "Well, this will be interesting. We both get to do some role-playing. I get to pretend to be a slut, and you get to pretend to be besotted."

It was a role Michael could play easily enough. After all, he had only been living that way for three hundred years. Silently, he laughed at himself. "Just call me a method actor."

Beg Me…erotic romance

A few of you have seen me tweeting about this or mentioning it on my blog…

And now I've got a cover…

Thoughts?

Angela Waters did it… and I think it's awesome… yes, it's pretty dark but the book's not really sunshine and roses…

Blurb:

Beg me…there had been a time when those words made her burn with desire. But now, there was only fear.

Once, Tania Sinclair's life was almost perfect…oh, it had its ups and downs but she was happily married to a guy that adored her, one who had no problem indulging every kinky fantasy she ever had.  But a couple of tragedies later, she's barely holding it together.  A car accident took away her husband, and an attack from somebody she should have been able to trust has shaken not only her confidence, but it's also stripped away her fantasies and even made it painful to look back on her memories of her husband without fear.

Two years after her attack, Tania is determined to take her life back and the first step is taking back herself…her fantasies, her dreams, her memories.  There's only one person she can trust to do it, too.  One person she wants enough…Drake Bennett, her husband's best friend.

Falling for your best friend's wife—never smart.  Drake's watched Tania quietly for years, watched her…wanted her, knowing he'd never have her.  First, she was taken.  And then, that night two years ago—a night that still scars her, a night that's left bruises on her that still haven't healed.  He does what he can, though, because he loves her too much not to.  He's her friend, there when she needs him.

And now she needs him.  She's asked him for a favor…one that just about blows his mind…

Warning: This book involves light bondage play, rape fantasy & role-playing.  The acts between the hero & heroine are consensual, but they may not be ideal for all readers…