Poppy Z. Brite's Blog, page 66

My Pronouns

Remember how I said I'd let people know when I became uncomfortable with female pronouns? Well, I'm there. I'd prefer the standard male ones, please. (A tip of the trollface to those of you who are already using them!)

U Jelly?

I never much cared for LJ mood themes, but I finally thought of a way to do them that amuses me.

Meanwhile, In Cold-Blooded News ...

My ball python, Ziggy, has just about outgrown one of his hides. Ball pythons tend to like small spaces, but when I pick up this hide, he's usually so tightly wedged in there that he comes right up with it. He seems to prefer the rock-style hides to the hollow logs and such I've tried, so I went looking for a large rock hide online, figuring it would cost a small fortune, and instead found this.

What a cool idea! You get to make something for your pet and have crafty fun all at the same time. I'm going to try this tonight.

Fascinating Cat Food Update

We've switched the cats' diet to Wellness CORE dry food, and so far the difference is amazing. Under normal circumstances I'd make the switch gradually, blending the foods and slowly eliminating the old brand, but it seemed to me that the Iams was making some of them sicker every day. (I know Iams isn't great food; it was supposed to be a stopgap measure after we quit using another brand that was otherwise wonderful because it contained tiny carrot pieces, and apparently cats cannot digest carrots, so they eliminate them, and let's just say that I like carrots and wanted to keep liking them.) Since we made the switch, I've only seen a single puke, and that was a hairball. They like the new food, too -- Shaq, our resident gourmand, was skeptical at first but seems to have come around.

This Wellness CORE is expensive stuff -- $38.99 for a 12-pound bag at my local PetSmart, so I went looking for a better deal online, but that seems to be about the going rate. I found a few sites that were slightly cheaper, but if I'm only going to save like $3, I'd rather just buy locally. We'll manage. It's well worth it for their health and our desire for a non-disgusting house.

Look, Ma, No Boobs!

Livejournal hates my Twitter pictures lately, so I'll just link to this pic of me in my fabulous new Underworks Tri-Top binder. It looks even better and more natural under a shirt. My chest looks the way it's supposed to! There aren't these unwieldy things bobbing around all over the place! And it's comfortable -- much more so than the crappy sports bras I'd been using to "bind." I was afraid it might hurt my back, but it actually seems to give me some support. Can this miraculous garment be real?

Responses so far:

CHRIS: "Lookin' pretty flat there, Doc!"

MY MOM: "Where are your bosoms?!"

Report

Pain: horrible

Brain: iffy

Chris: sick of me

Mission: just get through it

(I know these reports aren't the most interesting entries I've ever written, but they're about all I can manage just now, and they help me assess/keep track of things. Please bear with me.)

Report

Pain: bad

Brain: better

Chris: off today, still asleep

Mission: choose and buy a new kind of cat food in hopes that it will stem the recent puking epidemic

Worries

So. My May 30 appointment with what my brain insists on calling "the trans doctor," though he's actually a urologist. I keep worrying about the image I need to project, thinking I'll have to seem like a fairly well-adjusted person in order to get hormones, but then I think, no, that can't possibly be one of the criteria ... can it? I think maybe I'd like to bring Chris, but then I remember he hasn't started consistently using male pronouns for me. I haven't yet asked him to, and he's happy to do it whenever I'm ready, but I worry that the doctor will think it's strange if he slips up and calls me "she" or "her." If I do bring Chris, I'm afraid the doctor will turn out to be one of those people who doesn't think gay trans men are really men. In general, I'm afraid the doctor will be as condescending and dismissive as most of my pain doctors have been. I'm afraid he'll assume I'm "just crazy" if I reveal that I take Prozac, Wellbutrin, and (intermittently these days) benzodiazepines. I'm afraid to even mention that I use anything at all for pain, since pot is illegal (no medical marijuana laws here) and I get my Tramadol from a pharmacy website rather than deal with another goddamn orthopedist. But I know he'll need to do bloodwork; will all this shit just show up anyway? I worry that I'll cry. And I haven't told my mom about the appointment because she's still stressed out from the move and I don't want to upset her. I don't think it would, but I'd rather wait until I see how the appointment goes.

Writer's Block: A League of My Own

Never in life have I answered one of these dumb things, but today's is after my heart:

If you could start an alternative sports team in your city, what "sport" would you choose, and what would you pick for your mascot?

View 190 Answers

Uh, that would clearly be my long-anticipated New Orleans chapter of the sport I have refined to an art: BONG HITTERS INTERNATIONAL. As always, Chris in his guise of L.B. (Lighter Boy, or occasionally something more offensive) would be my mascot.

We'll always hold our aptly named Super Bowl in Amsterdam, though.

blargh

Do you ever get so sick of yourself that you want to throw away your entire personality and history and start all over again? Do you ever make yourself sick to your stomach telling yourself how much you suck?

This has been a bad, bad day. A "Sunday Morning Coming Down" day even though it was Saturday. At least I didn't have to spend it wishin', Lord, that I was stoned.

Pfuck.

ETA: See!
</form> What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

Neutral. Not Northern, Southern, or Western, just American. Your national American identity is more important to you than your local identity, because you don't really have a local identity to begin with.

Take this quiz now - it's easy! We're going to start with "cot" and "caught." When you say those words do they sound the same or different? Same
Same, no wait I mean different, maybe, a little bit different...
Different

My national American identity can go suck a bag of dicks.