Poppy Z. Brite's Blog, page 38
August 18, 2012
The Drowning Girl
Did not sleep until after six AM due to reading, in one sitting, the first 210 pages of
greygirlbeast
's The Drowning Girl. Will finish it tonight. Holy shit, Caitlín. You just get better and better. Also, I may have to paint "The Drowning Girl" and/or "Fecunda ratis," though my abilities are up to neither.
greygirlbeast
's The Drowning Girl. Will finish it tonight. Holy shit, Caitlín. You just get better and better. Also, I may have to paint "The Drowning Girl" and/or "Fecunda ratis," though my abilities are up to neither.
August 16, 2012
Slendy!
"In The Red (Slenderman I)," 11" x 14", $100 OBO
Dear Slendy,
Please do not interpret this as an invitation to manifest.
Love,
Billy
August 15, 2012
Unsuccessful Day
Today I spent at least five minutes pondering how Chris on Family Guy could have blonde hair, a recessive trait, when his mother is a redhead and his father a brunette. Later, I Google-imaged seppuku while having a stomachache. And this has been my favorite thing of the day:
I pretty much fail at life today, but I'm cheerful.
I pretty much fail at life today, but I'm cheerful.
August 14, 2012
eBay Stuff
Auctions ending later today:
- A cool N.O. Saints charm bracelet (WHO DAT!!!)
- A signed, numbered copy (#942) of Jack Ketchum's novel Offspring in a nice limited edition from Overlook Press
- A signed, numbered copy (#307) of Guilty But Insane
- A copy of
greygirlbeast
's and my mini-collection Wrong Things signed by both of us
- Signed chapbooks Would You? and The Feast of St. Rosalie
As always, signatures can be personalized. I'm hoping to have a couple more paintings up soon, probably on eBay rather than Etsy. I'm not loving Etsy -- their fees are lower than eBay's, but they have a nasty habit of holding onto your money for a few days just because they can, and that's not too good when you're depending on the payment for groceries or kitty litter or, hell, just postage to ship the damn thing.
- A cool N.O. Saints charm bracelet (WHO DAT!!!)
- A signed, numbered copy (#942) of Jack Ketchum's novel Offspring in a nice limited edition from Overlook Press
- A signed, numbered copy (#307) of Guilty But Insane
- A copy of
greygirlbeast
's and my mini-collection Wrong Things signed by both of us- Signed chapbooks Would You? and The Feast of St. Rosalie
As always, signatures can be personalized. I'm hoping to have a couple more paintings up soon, probably on eBay rather than Etsy. I'm not loving Etsy -- their fees are lower than eBay's, but they have a nasty habit of holding onto your money for a few days just because they can, and that's not too good when you're depending on the payment for groceries or kitty litter or, hell, just postage to ship the damn thing.
August 12, 2012
Horror Anthologies & Book Doctoring
I just listed two rare horror anthologies on eBay: the trade hardcover of Still Dead: Book of the Dead 2, edited by John Skipp and Craig Spector, which includes the first publication of my story "Calcutta, Lord of Nerves"; and the signed/numbered/slipcased edition of the first Borderlands anthology, edited by Thomas F. Monteleone, which includes the first publication of "His Mouth Will Taste of Wormwood" and is signed by all the contributors, including Harlan Ellison! Other good stuff is still up too.
Also, I am accepting new manuscripts for editing. Please see my book doctoring page for rates and details.
Also, I am accepting new manuscripts for editing. Please see my book doctoring page for rates and details.
August 11, 2012
Expiration Date (Eaten By Eels)
Thank you so much for the good comments on this morning's entry, especially from trans readers -- not to devalue anyone else's words, but it's always especially helpful to hear from people who are going/have been through some of this shit and know the frustration. I'm still not sure what I will do, but I'm in a somewhat better headspace now. I know sixteen months on testosterone isn't long enough for most guys to pass, but I'm worried that I never will, mostly because of my height (5'1"). Yeah, there are plenty of teensy cis guys out there, but it's such a major gender cue that I doubt I'll ever stop feeling self-conscious about it. I wish I could be like
faustfatale
, who's about my height but somehow manages to carry herself in such a way that people who've met her often remember her as towering over them. But of course she has the double advantage of being a dominatrix from the Bronx.
Anyway, I finished a somewhat-related new piece a couple of days ago, which Grey says is creepy:
"Expiration Date (Eaten By Eels)," 9" x 12", $75 OBO
(To find out how the piece is related to what I've been talking about, read this entry I posted from Amsterdam last year...)
Thanks to Grey Cross Studios for photographing my work.
faustfatale
, who's about my height but somehow manages to carry herself in such a way that people who've met her often remember her as towering over them. But of course she has the double advantage of being a dominatrix from the Bronx.Anyway, I finished a somewhat-related new piece a couple of days ago, which Grey says is creepy:
"Expiration Date (Eaten By Eels)," 9" x 12", $75 OBO
(To find out how the piece is related to what I've been talking about, read this entry I posted from Amsterdam last year...)
Thanks to Grey Cross Studios for photographing my work.
Setback
I'm thinking of going off testosterone when my current prescription runs out. I can't afford it anymore and I'm pretty sure I'm never going to pass. I had almost a full beard until I shaved it off last night, and I still got ma'amed every. single. day. Maybe I just don't have the guts to do this.
I still want the male pronouns and all, please. I'm still a guy, same as I've always been (even if I did do drag for 40 years). I just don't think the world at large is ever going to see it.
I still want the male pronouns and all, please. I'm still a guy, same as I've always been (even if I did do drag for 40 years). I just don't think the world at large is ever going to see it.
August 8, 2012
Birthday!
Happy birthday, Grey! I love you dearly and wish I could make you this cake.
August 7, 2012
"Code of Silence"
I think one of the things we treasure most about music is how it can speak for us when we can't find the right words, or when, for whatever reasons, we can't/won't allow ourselves to say them out loud.
"Code of Silence"
Everybody's got a million questions
Everybody wants to know the score
What you went through
It's something you
Should be over now
Everybody wants to hear the secrets
That you never told a soul before
And it's not that strange
Because it wouldn't change
what happened anyhow
But you swore to yourself a long time ago
There were some things that people never needed to know
Guess there's one that you keep
That you bury so deep
No one can tear it out
And you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way
And you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
You don't want to lose a friendship
There's nothing that you have to hide
And a little dirt
Couldn't hurt no one anyway
And you still have a rage inside you
That you carry with a certain pride
In the only part of the broken heart
That you could ever save
But you've been through it once
You know how it ends
You don't see the point
Of going through it again
And this ain't the place
And this ain't the time
And neither's any other day
So you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way
So you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
I know you well enough to tell you've got your reasons
That's not the kind of code you're inclined to break
Some things unknown are best left alone forever
And if a vow is what it takes
Haven't you paid for your mistakes
After the moment passes
And the impulse disappears
You can still hold back
Because you don't crack very easily
It's a time honored resolution
Because the danger is always near
It's with you now
But that ain't how it was supposed to be
And it's hard to believe after all these years
That it still gives you pain and it still brings tears
And you feel like a fool
Because it's part of your rules
You've got a memory
But you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way
But you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
- Billy Joel
"Code of Silence"
Everybody's got a million questions
Everybody wants to know the score
What you went through
It's something you
Should be over now
Everybody wants to hear the secrets
That you never told a soul before
And it's not that strange
Because it wouldn't change
what happened anyhow
But you swore to yourself a long time ago
There were some things that people never needed to know
Guess there's one that you keep
That you bury so deep
No one can tear it out
And you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way
And you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
You don't want to lose a friendship
There's nothing that you have to hide
And a little dirt
Couldn't hurt no one anyway
And you still have a rage inside you
That you carry with a certain pride
In the only part of the broken heart
That you could ever save
But you've been through it once
You know how it ends
You don't see the point
Of going through it again
And this ain't the place
And this ain't the time
And neither's any other day
So you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way
So you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
I know you well enough to tell you've got your reasons
That's not the kind of code you're inclined to break
Some things unknown are best left alone forever
And if a vow is what it takes
Haven't you paid for your mistakes
After the moment passes
And the impulse disappears
You can still hold back
Because you don't crack very easily
It's a time honored resolution
Because the danger is always near
It's with you now
But that ain't how it was supposed to be
And it's hard to believe after all these years
That it still gives you pain and it still brings tears
And you feel like a fool
Because it's part of your rules
You've got a memory
But you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way
But you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
- Billy Joel
Step Right Up
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore ...
Sort of an odd assortment of eBay auctions I put up today:
- A cool N.O. Saints charm bracelet (WHO DAT!!!)
- A signed, numbered copy (#942) of Jack Ketchum's novel Offspring in a nice limited edition from Overlook Press
- A signed, numbered copy (#307) of Guilty But Insane
- A copy of
greygirlbeast
's and my mini-collection Wrong Things signed by both of us
- Signed chapbooks Would You? and The Feast of St. Rosalie
As well, I still have signed Drawing Blood hardcovers available for $20 (free shipping in the US), and they often go for two or three times that when being auctioned.
I apologize for using this journal almost entirely to sell things lately. To be honest, I don't do much these days other than auction books, edit manuscripts, and make arty stuff I hope will sell. I could write an interesting journal entry explaining some of the many reasons why things are this way, but it would inevitably come out sounding petty and bitter and make people uncomfortable. Isn't it a kind of madness to be living by a code of silence when you've really got a lot to say?
Sort of an odd assortment of eBay auctions I put up today:
- A cool N.O. Saints charm bracelet (WHO DAT!!!)
- A signed, numbered copy (#942) of Jack Ketchum's novel Offspring in a nice limited edition from Overlook Press
- A signed, numbered copy (#307) of Guilty But Insane
- A copy of
greygirlbeast
's and my mini-collection Wrong Things signed by both of us- Signed chapbooks Would You? and The Feast of St. Rosalie
As well, I still have signed Drawing Blood hardcovers available for $20 (free shipping in the US), and they often go for two or three times that when being auctioned.
I apologize for using this journal almost entirely to sell things lately. To be honest, I don't do much these days other than auction books, edit manuscripts, and make arty stuff I hope will sell. I could write an interesting journal entry explaining some of the many reasons why things are this way, but it would inevitably come out sounding petty and bitter and make people uncomfortable. Isn't it a kind of madness to be living by a code of silence when you've really got a lot to say?
