Daniel Darling's Blog, page 68

Guest Post: 5 Ways to Minister to Someone With Dementia

All this week I’m preaching at TGC Atlantic Canada, so I’m featuring some guest posts. Today is Dave Jenkins. Dave is a Christian, husband to Sarah, freelance writer, avid golfer, and the Director of Servants of Grace Ministries. You can follow him on twitter @DaveJJenkins or read more of his work at http://servantsofgrace.org

Since graduating seminary in May 2012 with my Mdiv, a lot has happened in my life. At the top of that list is the return of my father into my life after a long absence. I discovered that Dad has frontal temporal dementia, which is leading to a gradual erosion of his normal, day to day functions, such as dressing himself. In my care for Dad, God has taught me some important lessons. I thought I’d share them with you today:

First, understand that the person who has a disease is still a person created in the image of God. While my dad’s brain and the rest of his body are dying and he will one day, unless God miraculously heals him, die from his dementia, he is still a person and deserves to be treated with love and value. There have been times when I marveled at my dad’s ability to remember things even from his childhood. While he is dying he is not dead and thus still has a God-given purpose to know and make known the Gospel. As my dad understands more of his identity in Christ, I’ve observed how God has been working in his life to make him aware of his strengths, weaknesses and limitations.

Second, minister through the tears. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read letters from my dad and broken out in tears. Knowing that your dad or loved one is going to die and what they are going to die from isn’t easy. Thankfully, during the majority of these times my wife has been home which has helped to not only calm me down but also to bring a measure of comfort knowing she understands what I’m going through. Jesus promised to send the Comforter to minister to us. God uses broken people to deliver the amazing message of the grace of God. Being broken isn’t a sign of weakness, but a mark of spiritual maturity.

Third, be compassionate. My dad struggles with anxiety and has deep fears about his dementia. Recently my dad told me, “I face deep fears and anxieties from dementia” and “It is hard to pray, pour these thoughts out to God. It hurts too much.” As I read those words God filled my heart and mind with compassion and I was able to point Him to Jesus. I noted in my reply letter to him, “Dad I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but I do know as you said in your letter that Jesus prayed in the Garden “knowing He faced death.”

I went on to tell my dad, “I don’t know what is going to happen in the future. I don’t know what is going to happen with your dementia other than I know that is it an awful disease. Here’s the thing though: Our God is amazing and can do above and beyond what we expect. I know His peace passes all understanding and that He is always praying and interceding for His people (you and I, and all of His people) before His throne. When I struggle with anxiety, I rehearse what God has done and is doing in my life. In other words I try to focus on the positive things happening in my life without minimizing the reality of painful, difficult or hard situations. My focus isn’t on myself but on Jesus. Jesus helps us to face the reality of our lives and stay focused on Him.” I continued explaining that, “One day all things will be made new and yet as a family we are facing your dementia together by the grace of God. While it’s understandable that you are facing fear and anxiety about your dementia I encourage you to look to Jesus. Read the Psalms and notice how David cried out to God in the midst of his pain and struggles. Now read Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus says His yoke is easy, which means He can carry all your burdens. Since Jesus is our peace, the Holy Spirit grants to us His peace which surpasses all understanding. As a son of King Jesus you are entitled to all the rights and benefits of your adoption as a son of the King, and the grace of God superabounds towards you. This truth will help you and encourage you to rest in Jesus.”

Fourth, give them the Gospel. In my letter to my dad I shared with him, “When you face fear, guilt and shame look to Jesus. He is the solution and answer to our greatest struggles because He experienced all of our pain and struggles and yet never sinned. When we look to Jesus we look to One who knows us through and through and yet is unlike us because He is holy. Jesus is more than just our example, He is our Savior, Lord, King, Priest, Mediator and Intercessor.”

Finally, be real. Ministering to my dad is causing me to be real. It would be easy for me to compartmentalize the pain and to shove it down, but that would also be unhealthy. Rather than being anxious about my dad’s future, I’ve resolved to trust God. This doesn’t make it any easier but it does make it bearable because our God has big shoulders that we can lean upon. His promises are our bedrock and the foundation for why we can be real.

While I’m five hundred miles away from my dad, I’m very encouraged by the work of God’s grace in his life. Whether you are ministering to those with severe illness or a disease understand that God uses ordinary people for extraordinary purposes, so join Him in His unfolding story of redemption right where you are by being teachable, humble and available as an instrument to know and make known the glorious news of the Gospel.

 

Healing Generational Divides

There is so much conversation lately about Millennials and the Church. Seems every blogger has addressed this subject from one angle or another. After reading the blogs and counter-blogs, it seems to me that the crux of the matter involves two things: a) a vast exaggeration of what generations think of each other, as if everyone born in a certain time period automatically approaches their faith the same way and b) the inability or unwillingness of various people groups, generations, to listen to each other well.

The former has been addressed at length already. But I’m not sure the latter problem–listening–is discussed enough. As a thirty-something, I’m right at the edge of Generation X and looking behind me at Millennials. I consider myself a Millennial in many respects, though I disagree with some of the characterization of this generation and even the overuse of the term.

What worries me the most about this conversation, as a pastor, is the sense of tribalism, this idea of “my generation is doing to stick together and fight for our rights in church life” that goes against the ethos of body life in Christ. The Church should be multi-generational. Young listening to old, old listening to young, all followers of Christ working out their salvation in fear and trembling. So, at the risk of adding another tired voice to the pile of opinions on this subject, I offer five ways that generations (Millenials, Gen-X’ers, Boomers, Busters, and any other group not given a clever name) can listen and grow in Christ together:

1) Younger Leaders Should Find Several Older Leaders as Mentors

For youngish leaders like me, we should recognize our wisdom deficit. We have much to learn from wise, older leaders who have gone before us. I’m grateful to have in my life several older pastors who pour into me wisdom and knowledge and, at times, rebuke. I love to drink from the rich fountain of their experiences. Not only do I come away with workable ideas for my ow leadership, I recognize the value of the way a previous generation dealt with issues. I learn the stories.

The best way to set up a relationship like this is to simply ask. You’d be surprised how many seasoned pastors or lay leaders would love to sit down for coffee and chat. You don’t need a curriculum or a structure, just a couple hours of uninterrupted time together. The way I do it is simple. If there is someone I’d love to learn from, I call or email and say something like, “Hey, I’d love to go out for coffee or lunch or something and pick your brain on some things.” Easy. You don’t even have to say the word, “mentor.” I have found that the most valuable wisdom I’ve gleaned is through casual conversations, by me asking probing questions about a person’s life and ministry. What’s surprising is that you will find older and younger generations have a lot more in common than you think.

2) Younger leaders would benefit from some humility. This will go down hard for some millennials, but it needs to be said. We need to dial down the hubris a bit. Part of the reason older generations don’t listen is because we’ve come out swinging, making demands and acting as if we’re the first generation to finally “nail it” when it comes to Christian ministry. I’m saying that mostly as a criticism of my own self.

The truth is this: like our parents, we are sinners. And in twenty years, some other rising generation will come and offer as substantive of a critique of our methods as we do of our parents. What’s more, making demands puts people on the defensive, it shuts down conversation, it is antithetical to the kind of rich body life Christ envisions for His church.

I realize that this can be reversed, that times older generations have led with a sort of top-down structure. Still, let’s not emulate what we don’t like by making the same demands of those who may not agree with us. As God puts us in greater positions of power and influence, let’s wear it well. Let’s be “clothed with humility” (Colossians 3:12). Let’s offer respect and dignity to the leaders who have gone before. Let’s offer the same forbearance of their (seemingly) out of date methods as we desire for our own blind spots. Sometimes I think the Church chases relevance and youth so quickly, we make older generations feel useless, as if all their hard work and effort are in vain. Instead, let’s respect the previous generation even as we seek to improve or update the ministry model.

3) Older Generations Should Realize How Much They Have to Give

Most long-time, experienced Christian leaders I’ve met are extremely gracious, open, and willing to mentor the next generation. But there are some who have not aged well and whose attitude toward the younger set is one of disdain. Part of this might simply be fueled by the feeling of being put out to pasture or it may just be the hard reality of being passed by as the “next big thing.” I don’t know, but if I could say something to every single gray-headed Christian leader, it would be this: we need you. Your wisdom, your insight, your faithfulness poured into us so that we might carry the baton of leadership in our generation.

Thankfully I’ve been exposed to some of the most gracious, humble, godly leaders who are eager to both listen to and advise the next generation. I’m friends with some pretty well-known pastors in my area who surprise me when they ask me advise on certain things. It reflects a certain humility and willingness to change and grow.

It seems there are two ways to age as a Christian leader. You can age well, as most of the leaders I’ve seen do. Or you can age poorly, getting more prickly, less teachable, more dismissive along the way. I had a conversation earlier this year with a long-time ministry leader who shocked my by his arrogance. He dismissed, with a smirk, nearly everything I was doing at my church, in my writing ministry, and in my educational endeavors. I left feeling like a total failure. Needless to say, I’m not going to be seeking him out for advice anytime soon. Thankfully, leaders like this are rare. But if I could humble give a word to older generations: age well. Realize how much you have to give to my generation. There are those of us who are eager to seek out your wisdom and your grace. We’re ready to learn and be shaped.

4) All generations should read to get a better grasp of history. I’m a bit biased toward history, I guess, so forgive me. But one of the things that plagues our debates, I think, is a thin grasp of both world history and church history. By this I mean God’s sovereign hand over all of history in building His Church and establishing His kingdom. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with young people, gripped by the alarmism of “this is as bad as its ever been” in the church and in the world. And ironically I’ve heard older generations say the same thing, “In all my years, I’ve never . . . ” I think this happens because people have their view of the world shaped by Twitter and the Drudge Report and the flashing neon signs of “breaking news” all over. But settling down and reading, appreciating and absorbing history reminds us that we are not the first generation to face significant challenges. Our challenges may not be as severe as those faced by previous peoples. What’s more, church history connects our generation to a rich, 2,000 year history of God’s work among His people. We’re reminded that we’re not the first generation to wrestle with faith and politics, in the world and yet not of it, social gospel versus proclamation, etc. We’ll also be humbled to know that perhaps we are not the best and brightest and most innovative, like we think we are.

Here’s the other thing history give us: hope. Read the biographies of men like Moody, Luther, Tozer, Augustine, Graham, Mueller. Read about leaders like Eisenhower, Washington, Lincoln, King, etc. You’ll see how God works through flawed people to bring about His purpose. Every time I finish a biography of a great leader, I come away with hope and humility. The same God who was active in previous generations as alive and active today. He isn’t depressed by what depresses us and isn’t waiting with white-knuckles for our clever new machinations.

5) All generations could work on building unity. I wish I could declare a moratorium on attacks against the Church by the Church. The market is rich for evangelicals to write a book, pen a blog post, preach a sermon on “The problem with the Church.” There is a place for self-criticism, but that is ground so well-covered as to be saturated. We forget that, for all of its flaws, for all of its warts and blind spots, the Church is the bride of Christ. Jesus loves the church. You cannot separate the groom from His bride. He won’t let you.

Rather than building a platform by shooting at one part of the church from our own fortified positions, we should promote unity, gospel unity. That means a Church that is intergenerational, multi-ethnic, diverse. There is a place for defending the faith once delivered to the saints (Jude 1:3). But that’s not the same as standing up for preferences in a way that alienates those who think differently. Unity begins by respecting other generations, by listening, by avoid the sort of over-heated blog posts that drive traffic, but also drive unnecessary wedges. Yes, you will go to Church on Sunday and worship with someone who probably thinks differently than you do about politics, music, and the precise meaning of all the bowl judgements, but that’s okay. That’s even good. This is how you practice love, forbearance, and grace in community.

I don’t want to build a Church that looks just like me, but a Church that looks just like Jesus.

TGC Atlantic Canada

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So this week, Angela and I are off to beautiful (so I hear) Prince Edward Island, Canada. We were graciously invited by the Gospel Coalition, Atlantic Canada. I’m preaching two times, conducting a workshop, and participating in some panels (schedule here). We are looking forward to some gospel fellowship with brothers and sisters in the Lord. And maybe we’ll get in some sight-seeing as well. My wife is interested in touring some of the Anne of Green Gables sights. Ok, I’ll admit that, as an avid watcher of Anne (mancard = gone) in my youth, I’m curious about the sights as well. If you are attending, can’t wait to meet up with you.

While I’m gone, the blogging will be light.  On Tuesday, my friend Dave Jenkins will guest post with some wisdom from his experience caring for a parent with a serious illness. On Wednesday, I”ll have a post on inter-generational relationships in the Church.

But for now, I’m off to the “land of shining waters” to preach the gospel.

People Want a Church to Be a Church

This week I had a chance to interview Brett McCracken. Brett teaches at Biola and is a keen cultural observer. I’ve always enjoyed his work. He has written two books. The first, Hipster Christianity created quite a splash when it came out. He pushed back against the attempt by the Church to be “cool.” Recently Brett wrote a terrific piece on Millenials for The Washington Post.

Now Brett has a new book out, Gray Matters, where he dives into delicate territory. How does the church handle the “gray areas” of life that are not specifically spelled out in Scripture and how does the Church handle it’s consumption of culture in a way that doesn’t lean to libertinism or legalism?

One of the questions I asked Brett was this one:

Pastors and church leaders wrestle with this question all the time—making decisions on worship styles, programming, and their own personal choices. What advice would you give to church leaders as they seek to navigate the tensions?

I would say that all of those decisions are worth talking about—just not too much. And certainly not at the expense of focusing on what really matters: being a gospel-centered community of worship and discipleship where people feel welcomed and Christ is glorified. I think that pastors and church leaders often assume that people want church to be more than it is. But mostly people just want a church to be a church; to embrace its tradition, the richness of doctrine, sacraments, and life together as a community of Christ-followers. Flashy graphics, smoke machines, high-tech videos, and hip worship leaders may get people in the door, but they are not the things people will stay for. And they are certainly not the things that are going to be transforming peoples’ lives in the long term.

Read the entire interview here:

We Are All Judgmental

Last week the Internet exploded with news of two people whose actions (rightly) produced moral outrage, regardless of where you are on the political/religious spectrum. Anthony Weiner, already thin on public trust after his ridiculous Twitter exploits which caused him to resign his New York Congressional seat, was caught continuing that ridiculous behavior well after he claimed he was sorry, etc. To top it off, he’s sticking to his candidacy for Mayor of New York.

It was the same week that Milwaukee Brewers baseball star and 2011 MVP, Ryan Braun admitted, after months of passionate denials, that he indeed broke the league’s policy on performance enhancing drugs. It was probably the worst kept secret anyways as nobody really believed his story. Braun was suspended for the rest of the 2013 season and had to forfeit this year’s salary, nearly $4 million.

On Twitter, on the radio, in newspapers, in casual conversation, the reaction to both stories, by people of all stripes, is something like, “Can you believe this guy?” For Weiner, there is no end to the mocking on Twitter. Fellow Democrats were as harsh on him as Republicans. For Braun, the words, “cheater”, “liar”, “fraud” are being used prolifically.

Of course there really is no defense of either of these men. Both violated a public trust. And yet, I find it interesting that a society deeply divided over many issues finds consensus on certain things being right and certain things being wrong.

In other words, even though we mock those who make moral judgements as being angry, power-hungry, backward, repressed, etc, we engage in that same behavior ourselves. We all make moral judgements. It’s just that the line between right and wrong has shifted.

Take for example the debate about gay marriage. Or abortion. These issues are usually framed this way: Christians are too busy pushing their morality down our throats. They need to get back to what the Bible really says about love and grace and tolerance. How dare anyone cast a judgement on the way anyone lives? Or the difficult choices someone must make? Why can’t evangelicals stop condemning people?

To be sure, some of the criticism of the Church has been accurate. Too often we have acted the Pharisee, beating our chest with pride at our own self-righteousness and missing Jesus all together. Too often we’ve sent the signal that being a Christian is about doing good, rather than about the miracle of God in flesh, dying to rescue us from sin, rising again in victory, and offering us new life in Him. So we should take the rebuke and return again to our first love.

But let’s not fool ourselves. Everyone makes moral judgements. Everyone condemns. Everyone has a set of truths that inform right and wrong. We all agree what Anthony Wiener did violates some kind of sexual ethic. We all agree Ryan Bruan’s behavior violates the ethics of fair play. We all have a standard of right and wrong and we all hate it when someone breaks it.

The difference is this: our view of what is right and wrong is not based on something absolute anymore. It’s anchored rather perilously to the shifting sands of public cultural opinion. We have become our own gods, determining right and wrong.

And this is a dangerous place to be, in my view.

Fruit from Deep Brokenness

For my weekly Leadership Journal interview, I chat with Mary Demuth, a good friend. She’s a gifted author and speaker. Mary has a way of speaking from her own personal pain and brokenness into the lives of others in a unique way.

I asked her about this:

Your own story of sexual abuse has been catalyst for some of your writing and blogging. How hard was it to begin telling your story?

Initially, I shared my story in my late teens to garner attention, so, oddly, I wasn’t scared. In my twenties I naively assumed I’d been healed, so I kept the story locked away. In my thirties, my life exploded in pain, and I had no desire to share that with the world. God used that decade to heal me further and birth in me a desire to see that past pain as a platform to help others be set gloriously free. So now? I find it a huge privilege to tell my story, almost as if it’s sacred ground when I share it. I see folks set free. It’s humbling. God is so very good to let me see fruit from my own deep brokenness.

Read the entire interview here:

How Small Churches Can Love Their Communities

Today I’m over at Trevin Wax’ blog with a guest post. The subject is how to love your community if you are a small church:

What if you are the pastor of a small church but would like to do something to serve your community? What if you love the idea of adopting a school, but barely have enough resources to cover your nursery on Sunday?

Is it possible to do acts of mercy in your local Jerusalem with a tiny band of volunteers? Surprisingly, it is. Here are six tips for small church outreach:

1. Relieve yourself of false guilt.

If there is one thing that plagues small church pastors in a big metro area, it’s the constant guilt about what your church is “not doing.” Mostly this guilt comes as a result of comparing yourself to the other churches in town.

Instead, begin to look at the entire body of Christ in your community rather than your own specific congregation. You are just one of many God is using in that region to bring about His glory. When I finally realized that God wasn’t calling Gages Lake Bible Church to be the entire Church to our local region, it enabled me to focus on a few small areas of opportunity and giftedness.

Read the rest of the post here:

Five Ways We Do Family Worship

I’m a big believer in family worship. I believe God has clearly called parents to intentionally teach their children the ways of God. But for some, the idea of family worship is a bit scary. Either they don’t know how to do it or they think it means three hours every night of exegetical study through Leviticus.

But family worship doesn’t have to be scary or boring or a drudgery. It can be simple. Here are five ways we do it:

1) Around the Table. Sometimes we do it at dinner, other times we do it at breakfast (especially if I’m home for those meals). We usually use some kind of tool. In the past we’ve used the Jesus StoryBook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones, a book every Christian parent should own (in my opinion). Right now we are using an excellent book, Proverbs for Kids. This is a terrific book takes a proverb and offers some practical spiritual truth applicable to kids. It doesn’t take very long and it always includes a relatable story. We decided to do Proverbs because we just felt our kids needed some relational wisdom during this season of their lives. I also highly recommend New City Catechism by The Gospel Coalition. There are other really good resources out there for children as well.

When we do this around the table, it’s very informal. I usually read some Scripture and do some explanation, then I ask the kids questions about it. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we joke. After we are done, we usually offer a prayer. But we’re very intentional about teaching our kids about the Scriptures. The table is a great place to do it. We are all gathered, we’re enjoying God’s good provision of food and the grace of conversation. I think it’s important for families to share as many meals together as they can.

2) With a Hymnal or Singing. We don’t do this as often as we do the above, but every so often I will reach over and grab a hymnal and we’ll sing some songs together as a family. It can be really fun. What I love about the hymns is that they ground spiritual truth into the hearts of our children. We also like to listen to good Christian music in the car or at home. Sometimes words will come up, especially with hymns, that need explanation. This is a great way to share with our kids some good ideas and truth.

3) In everyday life situations. I love Moses instructions to the parents of Israel to teach God’s truth whenever their kids “sit down” and “rise” (Deut 6:7; 11:19). I don’t think this is a legalistic exercise. I think it is simply telling parents to use every opportunity that comes up, in daily life, to point to Jesus. We really try to do this and you’ll be surprised by the really cool conversations that come up. As a parent, you don’t have to do this in a scolding, lecture-type way. You can be fun, witty, and conversational.

But daily life presents golden opportunities for conversations about the gospel, about the character of God. And we’ve observed that sometimes these are more formative than the structured, sit-down, type of things we do. Our kids need to know that all of life is God’s, not just the space we reserve for him on Sunday. This is God’s world and we live in it, to worship and glorify him.

4) Before Bed. We have some of our great conversations before bed. Well, at least on the nights we are not getting to bed late and just trying to get to bed ourselves! But many nights, we’re able to do a lot of praying. We try to have each kid pray to God, to get used to that idea. It can be a bit chaotic to keep the kids from messing around during prayer. But there are some moments where you hear your kid pray an incredibly honest, beautiful, heart-warming prayer to the Lord. And you, also, can model prayer when you pray in front of your children. We also try to pray for at least one missionary every night. We’ve had stretches where we’ve slacked on this a bit, but we try to get back to doing it. We also ask our kids, “So, who do you think we need to pray for tonight.”

5) With reading literature. This may be a bit of a stretch, since reading books other than the Bible may not technically be “family worship”, but it is part of teaching. We try to expose our kids to some good reading, both classics and biographies. And as we’re reading, we try to share and explain Christian themes and concepts. We’re also fortunate that our homeschooling curriculum is heavy on literature. So my oldest daughter Grace has already read several missionary biographies. Parents can do this in a variety of ways, but it’s really helpful, I think, for kids to hear good stories and expand their wisdom and knowledge of God’s world.

Bottom Line: Our family doesn’t do worship perfectly and I’m sure there are better ways, resources, etc. Every family has to figure out what works best for them. However, we should all strive to be intentional with our kids’ spiritual education.

Relationships and the Great Commission

This Sunday I preached from Romans 10, where Paul reminds us that we are the instruments God sovereignly uses to deliver the gospel news to the world. “How will they hear without a preacher” is motivation for every follower of Jesus to be that preacher. It doesn’t necessarily mean  only pastors and missionaries do the preaching, but all Christians should in some sense, preach the word to the lost. We should do this winsomely, lovingly, and intentionally.

This passage convicts me in a lot of ways. For starters, it presupposes that I actually care about those who don’t know Jesus. In my daily life, how often is my heart broken for the brokeness of the world around me?

Secondly, Paul’s words also presuppose something else: that we are actually building relationships with people not like us so that we may be the bridge that leads them to Jesus. Much of our Christianity is focused on prevention. Some of this is good. As parents we want to shield our children from negative influences and harmful media consumption. And yet, we must not do this in such a way that conflicts with the Great Commission. It occurs to me that the enemy, who hates seeing people connected to Jesus, is okay with us retreating so deep into our own Christian subcultures and bunkers, into our political ideologies and networks, that we don’t actually interact with anyone else enough to make friends with them in order to be the one reflection of light in their dark world.

The Great Commission carries with it an assumption. Jesus assumed those who have had an experience with Him, whereby they know that He has died on the cross, rose again in victory, and is alive regenerating their heart–these people will surely tell others. There is an assumption that we won’t be silent. But underneath even that assumption is that we will take Jesus’ own prayer in John 17 to heart and realize we were put on this earth to be His representatives.

In plain words, this means one thing: we must be intentional about building long-term, thick, vibrant relationships with people who are different than us. People of different races. People of different backgrounds. People of different religions. People who don’t vote the way we do. People who may not live like we think they should live.

You see, we can’t simply carry out the Great Commission on a fly-over basis. By this I mean that staying in our bunkers and then emerging every so often to “gospel-bomb” people with Heaven tracts isn’t what, I think, Jesus is talking about. I love Heaven tracts and know that many have come to faith in Christ because of them. Yes.

However, if we think sheepishly slipping a tract underneath the check at a restaurant gets us off the hook when it comes to the Great Commission, we are doing it wrong. Liking the Jesus page on Facebook can’t be all we do. Wearing the fish symbol on our cars can’t be all we do.

We must vigorously, intentionally, get to know people within our circles of influence.

We do this in two ways: We first love them. By loving our lost friends and neighbors and relatives, it means we apply 1 Corinthians 13 and really, really love them. You will not engage with people you fear or  despise. Ask Jonah how this works. He hated the people of Nineveh. It wasn’t that Jonah didn’t think God could save them (Jonah 3), it was that Jonah didn’t want God to save them.

We will not intentionally engage people we either fear or do not like. So for some of us, it maybe time we tune out the rhetoric we hear on talk radio and cable news and online about various people groups. Because quite often we can let our politics shape our theology rather than our theology shaping our politics.

Yes, because we love our cities we should stand for things we believe are good for human flourishing. No apologies for that. And yet, if our politics turns into actually disliking, mocking, and avoiding the “other”, then we are doing it wrong. We are here, they are here, and the Great Commission compels us.

Maybe it’s time we evaluate the way we shelter our families in such a way that we keep ourselves walled off from our communities. How will they hear without a preacher? That preacher, that person is none other than you and me.

Secondly, we do this by building intentional relationships. We must be wise in the way we pursue relationships. We should build friendships, not simply so we can spring the book of Romans on the after the third conversation. We should build natural, human friendships that grow over time. And we should allow the Spirit of God to guide us when we need to being the evangelism conversations. For some it may take months, even years for that to come up. For others it may be natural to discuss right away. The point is that we should let our friendships be natural. People know, especially in this cynical age, when they are being targeted for a “sale.” But friendship is something entirely different. It’s real. It’s human. It’s not “bait and switch.”

Friendship is love. We need to engage with warmth, authenticity, and reality. We should let our expressions of faith, our evangelism, flow naturally. If Christ is our life, then those who get near us will know it. We’ll not be able to stop talking about Him.

Of course all of this means that we are in our communities. It means we’re outside talking to our neighbors, inviting them over to our homes. It means we’re joining the local YMCA’s or other organizations where people gather. It means we’re participating in some of the charitable and civic endeavors in our towns and villages and cities.

And, properly understood, bearing the message of Jesus is not a strain. It’s a joy. Paul said that it was the love of Christ that compelled him to tell others (2 Corinthians 5:4). What a privilege it is to bear this beautiful message of the gospel! We should share it intentionally, actively, and lovingly to those God puts in our life.

Relationships are key to obeying the Great Commission.

Out of Ur: Friday Five: Matthew Lee Anderson

Today, for Leadership Journal, I interview my friend Matthew Lee Anderson. Matt is a gifted thinker and writer. He runs the influential blog, Mere Orthodoxy. His first book, Earthen Vessels offered a terrific theology of the body and his latest work, The End of our Exploring is a look at how we ask questions.

It was this book that I wanted to discuss with him. Seems today that young evangelicals are fond of “asking questions.” I’m a big question asker myself. And yet, Matt says we must recognize that even our questions can be tainted by the Fall.

Modern evangelicals, largely, seem to believe questioning is always a good thing. But you’re saying that not all types of questioning are good. Why is this?

For biblical reasons, first and foremost. The first question we see in Scripture is not simply a dud; it’s thoroughly malicious and deceptive in its very form. Satan asks Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Gen. 3:1). That alone should be enough to make us all realize that not all our forms of questioning are good.

Read more from the interview here: