Daniel Darling's Blog, page 44

Shaping a Whole Life, Pro Life Ethic

Earlier this year I had the chance to host a panel at the Evangelicals for Life Conference in Washington, D.C hosted by ERLC and Focus on the Family. My guests were Trillia Newbell, Ron Sider, Karen Swallow Prior, Emily Colsen, and John Stonestreet.

20 Things I’ve Learned in the 20 Years Since Graduation

In June of 1996, I walked down the aisle, with thirteen others, at Quentin Road Christian School in Lake Zurich, Illinois and received my high school diploma. I distinctly remember the mixture of anticipation and hope I felt that day.

Twenty years later, I look back with amazement. First, it’s hard to believe it has been twenty years. I don’t feel that old. Second, I’m stunned by the grace of God displayed in knitting the strands of my life together. Third, there are so many things I’ve learned in twenty years that I wish I could tell 18-year-old me. Here are 20 things I’ve learned since that day, in no particular order:

School is just the beginning of learning. Much of what we learn in elementary, middle and high-school is quickly forgotten (until we need it again to help our kids with their homework!). Of course, the basics of math, reading, science and history are vital, but what’s even more important is learning to learn. School sets the trajectory for the rest of our lives. Wise people realize that, upon graduation, their education has just begun. They read, study, and grow, pursuing knowledge and wisdom (Proverbs 4:7).
We make choices, but God directs our steps. I remember hearing teachers, coaches and parents telling me that the choices I make in my teens and twenties would set the course of my life. They were so right, in ways I haven’t even begun to see until now. But even more important than making good choices is the willingness to depend upon the Lord to direct our steps. Our choices are mere tools in the hand of a guiding, teaching, directing Father. We are not, nor will we ever be, self-made men. Ultimately, God uses flawed people who often make poor choices to build his church.
Life is made up of seasons. When you walk down the aisle, and are handed that diploma, you may think you must chart your entire future. Planning is good stewardship, but hold your plans loosely. God will guide you into different seasons of life. I’ve already had a season as an editor, a season as a pastor, and am now in a season as an executive who writes and preaches. There are seasons yet ahead.
A life of influence is mostly built in the daily disciplines of ordinary days, not in transcendent moments of glory. Yes, you will have moments and memories: that one camp meeting where you gave your life in service to Christ, the talk with a mentor that shaped your future, the movie or book or song that stirred your heart. But mostly, your life is built on the steady, patient, obscure business of doing excellent work that nobody sees. Commit to this kind of life.
Work is necessary, but also a joy. There is something satisfactory about working for a long time in the area of your giftedness, not simply to make money but because of the joy that the work itself brings. Ambition is good, but ordering your life simply to get to the next rung on the ladder can be wearisome. It’s better to find deep joy in the work we do now. Work is not a means to an end. Work is a good gift from a wonderful God.
Gratitude opens doors. Entitlement shuts them. If you live as though the world owes you everything, you will quickly be disappointed. But if you live as if your opportunities are gifts, you will always be surprised. One of my first jobs after high-school graduation was at Ace Hardware. I was fresh off of being the “big man on campus” in our tiny, obscure Christian school. I had even won student leadership awards! But my boss at the hardware store didn’t care about that. His only concern was that I get to work on time, that I stop making keys that didn’t work, and that I stacked the piles of fertilizer in the correct manner on the pallet. This experience was good for me.
Talent is helpful, but hard work and character are vital. I learned this playing basketball. Talent is important, hard work will get you farther, but character matters most. I’ve seen plenty of people with great talent flame out because their lack of character caught up with them. I’ve seen folks with marginal talent go far because they had integrity and were willing to work hard despite the fact that they may lack in other areas. I’ve learned and am learning the importance of cultivating the inner habits of the heart.
Relationships are God’s tool for sanctification. God’s desire is for Christ to shape us more into His image, and human relationships are one of his main methods of doing so. Yielding to the work of the Holy Spirit, your spouse, your children, and your coworkers will change you in ways you cannot imagine. They will expose your deepest sin patterns and force you to your knees in repentance and grace. Don’t resist this challenge. Embrace it. I have learned much from my roles as a husband, father, pastor and boss.
Who you marry matters. If God calls you to marriage, whom you choose as your mate is the most important decision you face. You will make a solemn commitment before God and others to live with and care for this person for the rest of your lives. So marry well. I married extremely well. I can’t, nor do I want to, imagine my life without Angela. We marry, not merely for pleasure or companionship, though those are good fruits of marriage, but as an opportunity to show the world a glimpse of Christ’s great love for his church.
Adversity can be your greatest ally. Nobody desires hardship, opposition and pain. Nobody asks God to rain down trouble. But trouble comes, and it comes for all of us. And if you believe in a sovereign God who loves enough to prune and sift and filter, you will slowly, over time and through much reflection, begin to see your trials as God’s handiwork of blessing. A few years ago I was betrayed and hurt in a deep and difficult way by people I loved. I would not want to live through those years again. This season caused great anguish of soul, but I can testify to experiencing God’s refining grace.
Bitterness will poison, forgiveness will free. Perhaps the most important trait for a leader to cultivate is the ability to forgive. And you can only do this if you know the One who has forgiven you of much greater sins than have been committed against you. Bitterness only ever hurts the one who is bitter. Don’t nurture your grudges and let forgiveness form a crust around your soul. Let forgiveness free you to love and serve and lead well.
Discipline is a gift. A few years ago my wife and I were counseling a young women who made a statement that has haunted me since. She said, “I wish someone, somewhere had given me some rules to live by.” At that moment I was filled with gratitude for parents willing to teach and enforce right from wrong. They weren’t perfect, as no parents are, but what they gave me, by being parents instead of mere friends, was a gift that has shaped my own adulthood. I still need Jesus, but my parents’ discipline saved me from a life of bad choices and even worse consequences. If you have parents who loved you enough to provide meaningful structure and rules, you possess a rare gift.
The gospel is the best news in the world. I know this is a cliché, but I feel this more strongly now than ever before. The Christian story of creation, fall, redemption, and consummation stands alone in answering the deep problems of the world, in fixing my own inner corruption, and in providing a future in Jesus’ cosmic renewal. In my darkest moments, when my heart is overcome with fear and uncertainty, I’m comforted, not by political movements or powerful leaders, but by the simple phrase I learned in church: “Jesus saves.”
If you want to change the world, do it by loving the church. You will undoubtedly have many opportunities to use your gifts and talents to affect social change in big and small ways. God has put you here, on this earth, with your unique mix of gifts, talents, and opportunities to give yourself in service to others. But while your mission will likely be more than what you do on Sundays, it will never be less. The church is where God is most active in the world today. The most important gathering this week will not happen in a town hall, a stadium, or the White House, but in congregations big and small, around the world, where God’s people are proclaiming the reign of another King and another kingdom. If you love Jesus, you will love the church He loves. The older I get, the more I realize my deep need for the church.
The hymns I learned in my youth have stuck with me. From the time I could read, I was learning and singing, three times a week, the hymns of Luther, Crosby, Watts, and Wesley. I didn’t know what the words meant in those early years, but they were catechizing my soul for future life. Today, in moments of despair, joy, doubt, and uncertainty, the rich hymns of the faith are a reminder of the fresh theological truth, even though I learned it long ago. When we sign hymns, we are not simply providing “filler” for the rest of the service. We are declaring the reign of Christ to the world. We are teaching ourselves doctrine. And we are embedding, in the heart, powerful, sustaining truths.
I never “get over” my need for grace. I used to think the gospel was something I did when I was four years old. But the older I get, the more I realize how desperate I am for Jesus and how little I can do without him. I recognize that the gospel is not just for sinners “out there”, but also for this sinner, right here.
Asking questions and spending time with smart people is wise. Someone once said that if you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. This is so true. I’ve learned much simply by asking questions, reading, and realizing how little it is that I actually know. My father once said, “you never stop learning,” and he was right. I’ve learned the most from people who were a) much older than me b) different than me c) were willing to challenge my thinking.
Old paths are good paths. Along the way, you will be tempted to embrace fashionable new doctrines and fresh theologies bent to the times. But it is the “faith once delivered to the saints (Jude 1:3)” that will be your surest guide. Beware of novel new interpretations of Scripture untested by church history. Truth and orthodoxy endure, because Christ endures. He is building his church, not on the slippery whims of modern thought, but on the sure foundation of his revealed Word.
Community matters. We were not made to live alone, but in community. We worship, not in isolation, but with our brothers and sisters in Christ. I have found strength in deep friendships, intense conversations, and joyful community. But it’s up to you to cultivate that community with intentionality and the willingness to both forgive and be forgiven.
Both impulsiveness and passivity kill. I’ve learned to take a lot of time when making a major decision, to get advice from a diverse group of wise people, thinking about all the major ramifications. But once I’ve counseled, prayed, and researched, it’s important to actually make decisions. Rash decisions have always hurt me, but so has “paralysis by analysis.” Endless navel-gazing is as damaging as intemperately quick decisions. Avoiding both has served me well.

photo credit: Shilad Sen

The Way Home: Episode 71 featuring Daniel Patterson

What does productivity have to do with the gospel? This is the question I pose to my friend and colleague Daniel Patterson. Daniel is the chief of staff at ERLC and an expert at productivity and leadership. He also has a Ph.D. in Systematic Theology from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Daniel and I discuss his role as chief of staff, getting things done, and why we are both longsuffering Cubs fans.

Show Notes

Twitter: @dlpatterson
Resource: Is scheduling a spiritual discipline?

Learn more about the 2016 ERLC National Conference here.

Friday Flashback: My Prayer Before the Illinois State House

Three years ago, I was graciously invited to deliver the opening prayer before the Illinois General Assembly in Springfield, IL. This was my prayer:

Prayer of Convocation

Illinois General Assembly

Monday, May 20th, 2013

2:00 PM

 Dear Heavenly Father. We offer our humble gratitude for the gift of freedom as Americans, forged over 200 years of messy democracy and protected by the blood of our fighting men and women. Let us be ever mindful of the many peoples around the world who are not as free, as prosperous, as blessed as we are.

 We are grateful to live in the beautiful and diverse state of Illinois. For the leaders who have risen from this hallowed chamber. For the movements birthed here on our rich soil.

We ask humbly for your blessing on our great land. We offer prayer for the leaders today who serve you, here, in this town. As you have commanded us, we pray for them. For their families while they are away. For their safety while they serve here. For their integrity and wisdom in shaping the laws that will shape our future.

We are thankful for each representative who has stepped out of his ordinary life to serve in leadership here. They have spent countless hours campaigning and now serving. They have given up precious time and resources. They have sacrificed their privacy, putting their lives and their families’ lives on public display. Care for each representative, each senator, each staffer and all of the family members in a special way.

I pray that your Spirit visits this place in a powerful way. I pray these men and women find the fortitude to lead well. Give each leader rest, refreshment, and a clear mind. We ask you to move our leaders to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before their God.

Help each lawmaker to consider your command to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves, mindful of the dignity and worth of each human life, created in the image of God. Help them not to forget the poor, the immigrant, the marginalized, and the unborn. Help them create laws that support the institutions that make our communities flourish, that encourage and sustain healthy families, that give hope to those struggling to find their way.

We ask your forgiveness for yielding, too often, to the temptation to forget you in our national and political life. For the times we reject your gracious providence. For confusing courage with incivility. For confusing liberty with license. For substituting our own agendas for yours. For putting our own interests above those we serve. For the tendency to abdicate our responsibility to deal with the tough problems.

Lord, we ask for your grace this day as these men and women endeavor to govern the people of this great state. May they realize that their power is limited, granted to them by your gracious decree. Help them wield this power with caution and humility.

We long for the city to come whose builder and maker is God. We’re thankful for the gift of your Son, who has offered entrance into his kingdom by his sacrificial death and miraculous resurrection.

Grant each of these legislators fresh grace today.

In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.

Photo credit: David Wilson

Everyone Is a Culture Warrior. Some Admit it.

My friend and colleague, Samuel James, has a brilliant piece (you should read the whole thing) on why the culture wars are inescapable:

The idea that conservative Americans can escape the “wrong side of history” if only they will shut up and be kind is an idea based on a myth: The myth that progressivism has a fixed destination and, once arrived, will seek to go no further. Was it for bombastic rhetoric or theocratic zealotry that the Little Sisters of the Poor now await for the Supreme Court to decide whether they can be consistently Catholic? Was it for political activism that people like Barronnelle Stuzman faced crippling fines and public scorn? Of course not. These Americans were prosecuted for their beliefs, not their bullying.

Rather than thinking of culture war as a Byzantine byword, we should consider the realities behind it. As Richard Weaver wrote many years ago, ideas have consequences. There is an undeniable conflict in American culture between the doctrines of self-authentication and autonomy and those of transcendence and obligation. “Culture war” may be too small or too cute a phrase for this conflict, but it nevertheless gets to the heart of something very important. Conservatives who think they can opt out of the culture war may think they are skipping schism en route to charity, but they are really skipping charity as well.

To what James is saying, I would add this idea: if we are gospel people, we are always, at some level, at war with the culture, at least the part of the culture that is under the rule of the “prince and power of the air.” In some ways, our definition of culture is deficient, because, as Andy Crouch will point out in his must-read, Culture-Making, culture is more than just the “out there” people and ideas of the world. We are part of culture. We create culture. We live in culture(s) (church, family, home, neighborhoods, etc).

Still, Jesus preached a gospel of the kingdom that he promised would, at some points, offend the larger, fallen, unredeemed world. He also promised this gospel would cause his disciples to be disliked and often hated (John 15:18). This is part of what I was getting at in my piece, a while back, for The Gospel Coalition:

Even if we committed to, as some ministry practitioners suggest, “only preach the gospel,” we still could not avoid areas of conflict with the larger culture. That is, if we preach the whole gospel and not a kind of easy-believism, cost-free message.

Consider why the early church was persecuted by Rome. They weren’t subjected to persecution because they were intolerant or because the Romans were especially mean. The first Christians were persecuted because of the message they proclaimed: there is another King and another kingdom. Caesar may be in power, but he’s not worthy of worship or adoration or sacrifice. Christ triumphs over Caesar and every other worldly ruler. This view offended the citizens who participated in emperor cult worship. What’s more, the early Christians refused to make sacrifices to gods they didn’t believe in. This resistance led to marginalization, separation, and eventually martyrdom for many.

The gospel message itself—this message of love, redemption, grace, and mercy—was the main reason the church was disliked. Christians did find favor in some parts of the empire and modeled both courage and civility. But even Christianity at its best could not escape the scorn and punishment of the larger world. Then, as now, genuine faith in Christ was seen as strange and dangerous.

Christians today shouldn’t seek martyrdom, nor should we go out of our way to offend. There is much we can learn from Jesus about living in the tension of grace and truth. But let’s not fool ourselves into thinking we can avoid the cost of discipleship. The gospel itself is, at many points, at war with a fallen humanity.

What’s more, we tend to pick and choose which parts of “culture-warring” we like and dislike. Another quote from my piece:

Often when I hear people say we should take a break from the culture wars, I want to ask, “Which ones?” Every time Christians apply the gospel to their communities, they are, at some level, enaged in “culture warring.” They are bringing the kingdom of Christ to bear on the fallen world, corrupted by the enemy. It’s a battle of light against darkness.

The term “culture wars” typically evokes hotly contested issues like abortion, gay marriage, and religious liberty. But to engage less controversial issues like human poverty, animal cruelty, and immigration reform does not make one less of a culture warrior.

Imagine if every Christian took a year off from fighting human trafficking or racial injustice. Imagine if every Christian stopped advocating for urban renewal and prison reform. Imagine if Christians silenced their voices against persecution of religious minorities or the economic injustice of payday lending.

This is what a real culture war timeout looks like. But what kind of gospel would this be? That gospel stays within the four walls of the church, doesn’t motivate God’s people to love their neighbors, to care about human flourishing, to embody the ethics of the kingdom. That half-gospel is not the triumphant, world-altering good news Jesus delivered.

The result of such a timeout would be catastrophic. How many lives, created in the image of God, would suffer? What’s more, we’ve seen that no amount of good works guarantees peace with the “prince and power of the air.”

Of course, 1 Peter 3 helps us discern between opposition due to our own sinful engagement and opposition due to faithfulness to Scripture. We should constantly evaluate the way we speak, interact with arguments, and do activism. We should be known for our compassion and our love. But let’s not fall prey to the fiction that we can make the gospel palatable enough so as to be inoffensive. The gospel is always a stumbling block to those who don’t believe. It’s always strange to the ears of those who hear it the first time. It is this very distinctiveness that makes it compelling.

The Way Home: Episode 70 featuring Zack Eswine

What unique temptations do pastors face? Zack Eswine, author of The Imperfect Pastor joins me to discuss celebrity evangelicals, fallen pastors, and faithful ministry.

Show Notes

Websites: zackeswine.com and riversidestl.org
Twitter: @ZackEswine
Books:  The Imperfect Pastor , Sensing Jesus , Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who Suffer from Depression

Learn more about the 2016 ERLC National Conference here.

Pentecost, Pastoring and Intentional Friendships

Here are three of my latest articles:

“So You Want to Make Disciples?” for In Touch

Conversions usually result from deliberate, genuine friendship building. This involves intentionally inserting ourselves in environments where unbelievers are present. It includes leveraging our natural human talents to find common ground and build friendships. It requires patience, not trying to “close the deal” but coming alongside, seeking a person’s good, and learning to grow in relationship.

“6 Ways to Pastors Can Equip Churches To Engage Cultural Issues” for ERLC

When pastors fail to equip their people to think biblically about issues, they cede authority to the high priests of culture: the talk show hosts, cable news hosts and online opinion-makers. People will go somewhere to have their consciences formed. Why isn’t the church their first choice?

“From Every Nation Under Heaven” – for In Touch

The promise of Pentecost is that the gospel reverses this curse, undoing the confusion of the Tower of Babel and drawing people into the body of Christ from every race, tribe, and tongue. If you listen closely to Jesus’ words in the Great Commission, you’ll see that the gospel is not simply restricted to the people of Israel, but would go out to all nations (Matt. 28:16). This was always God’s intention, but it would be the church through which this worldwide, race-transcending gospel would be broadcast (Acts 2, Romans 4, Galatians 3 and 4, Ephesians 2 and 4). In Revelation, we see the final consummation of God’s gathering of all peoples. It’s not that Christians shouldn’t acknowledge ethnicity; rather, we can recognize it as a gift from God and catalyst for worship.

The Way Home: Episode 69 featuring Jeff Medders and Brandon Smith

Why should every Christian know theology? Jeff Medders and Brandon Smith, authors of Rooted: Theology for Growing Christians , join the podcast to tell me why. Jeff is the lead pastor of Redeemer Church near Houston, Texas, and Brandon works with the Holman Christian Standard Bible for B&H Publishers. We’ll discuss Christian education in the church, pastoring, and why theology is vital for living on mission in the world.

Show Notes

Website: jamedders.com and patheos.com/blogs/brandondsmith
Twitter: @mrmedders and @brandonsmith85
Book: Rooted: Theology for Growing Christians

Learn more about the 2016 ERLC National Conference here.

The Simple, but Powerful Lesson I Learned from My Mom

I remember the moment as if it was yesterday. I was six years old and it was Christmas with our extended family. We were in the basement living room in our first house on Marberry Lane in Hoffman Estates, Illinois. Like most adults, my memories of my childhood are scattered and rosy, probably more hazy recollections than concrete facts. But this memory is as vivid and detailed as any.

We sat there on the floor, Christmas presents scattered around the room. I was, at the time, the only child (my brother and sister came along later) and the only grandchild on my mother’s side of the family. In other words, I was the golden child, the object of endless affection and too many gifts.

It came time for me to tear through the wrapping paper and see what goodness came this Christmas. I remember this moment, over every Christmas, because of my reaction, and my mom’s reaction, to one particular gift I didn’t like. A family member bought me a board game that disappointed me.

Now, to be sure, disappointment at Christmas is expected. Six-year old kids are prone to expect one kind of gift and get another. We want a lego set and we get socks. But I expressed my disappointment by saying, out loud, “I don’t like this.”

I’ll never forget my mother’s reaction. Let’s just say she wasn’t trying to be my buddy in that moment. She was doing her job as a parent, as a mother. And she said to me, in words I will never forget, “You will never do that again. You will always be grateful and show your gratitude any time someone gives you something.” Mom also backed this principle up with action, enforcing this rule in our home.

Being thankful, for mom, was important. She made us say “thank you” to everyone, for even the smallest gifts. She didn’t tolerate entitlement.

Most of the time growing up I thought perhaps Mom was a bit too extreme on this. Do we really have to express gratitude, even for the little things? But as an adult I now consider this one of the most important gifts my mother gave to me. What Mom was teaching me, in those moments, was not to simply mouth words to get her off my back, but that a discipline of thankfulness not only acts as a courtesy to the giver, but as a guardrail on the heart of the receiver. It works its way into the heart and becomes, if we allow the Spirit to do His work, a way of life.

I’m finding that as an adult with four children I’m becoming as militant about making my kids say “Thank you” as my mother. It’s funny how these things always seem to come full circle. I do this not simply because its kind, but because gratitude is a first-order spiritual discipline. We’re told by Paul, in Romans, that rebellion and sin begin first, in the heart, with ingratitude. We sin because we think the Father is not a good enough Father, that our own vision for our lives is better than his. We think we’re a better Creator, Sustainer and Provider for ourselves than the God who made us. Ingratitude isn’t just incivility, it’s arrogance and a reflection of the corruption of sin in our hearts. But genuine gratitude is a subtle push against the darkness, a witness to the goodness of God the Father, whose gift of Christ has saved us from death. Christians, of all people, should be the most grateful people because we have the most to be grateful for. Gratitude is a reflection of the gospel work within us, a signpost of a renewed world to come.

So, of all the gifts my mother gave me, her gift of gratitude is at the top of the list. And this weekend it makes me reflect with deep joy for her faithfulness to teach this virtue to me.

image credit: l.i.l.i.a.n

The Way Home: Episode 68 featuring Lauren McAfee

Lauren McAfee grew up in the Green family of Hobby Lobby. What was it like to grew up this way and what was it about her parents’ faith that was compelling for her own walk with Christ? Lauren and her husband Michael join me to talk about the Green family heritage, life in the spotlight, and their new project: Museum of the Bible.

Show Notes

Website: laurenamcafee.com
Twitter: @laurenamcafee and @museumofBible

Learn more about the 2016 ERLC National Conference here.