Cara C. Putman's Blog, page 77

Fiction Friday: Books I’m Reading & My TBR Pile

Today starts my last weekend of MBA classes. Woot! If you missed my happy dance, be sure to go here. It’s six seconds of sheer silliness that had my 14 year-old rolling her eyes. Because of the intensity of these last days of classes, I haven’t finished a novel this week. Scandalous! But I’m in the process with two I’m really enjoying.

Need summer reading? @Cara_putman on TBR piles & #giveaways of books.
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The first of those is Shelley Shepherd Gray’s Secrets of Sloane House. I’ve heard excellent things about this book, so it’s been fun to dive into the pages, though I wish I could immerse myself in them. So far, it’s an intriguing story of social classes, the World’s Fair, and a mystery that might just turn suspenseful before the book ends. Not sure about that yet.

It’s an enjoyable read with an interesting mix of characters. I’ll be interested to see who the villain is because right now all signs are pointing one direction and I can’t quite believe it’s really him. It’s almost too easy, if you know what I mean. But I can’t wait to dive back in and consume the rest of this book…Saturday night!

The other book I’m enjoying is Rosanna Huffman’s Hand Me Down Husband. This is completely different from Secrets of Sloane House. Where Shelly’s book is a historical mystery set during the Gilded Age, Hand Me Down Husband is a contemporary romance with strong women’s fiction themes. But unlike many women’s fiction books that I’ve picked up, this one doesn’t have me bogged down. Instead, I’ve really come to care about Suzanne and Mitch. It’s not 100% given that they will end up together — so many factors are destined to keep them apart. It’s a really enjoyable first novel from an author that I’ve known for several years. It’s been so fun to read her novel! If you like contemporary romances with some meatier overtones, then this is one I bet you’ll enjoy as much as I have.

Now for fun, here’s a photo of my TBR pile. I CANNOT WAIT to dive into these as soon as I leave class on Saturday. Which would you pick to read first? Enter the Rafflecopter, and I’ll pick a lucky reader to receive a copy of the ARC to Tamera Alexander’s latest book To Win Her Favor. It’s hiding there in the pile. And don’t forget, To Win Her Favor is currently on ebook sale for $4.49. Preorder it at this price while you can!

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5 Tips to Develop Your Public Speaking Skills

This last mod of the Weekend MBA program at Purdue, I’m taking communications. It’s a class that comes fairly easy for me because I’ve spent the last 20 years intentionally working to become a better public speaker. When I graduated from undergrad many moons ago, I knew I wanted to develop as a speaker. I’d had a speech class in college, but the standard was so low, I could literally get up on days when no one else was prepared, extemporaneously give a speech, and get an A. Nice for the GPA. Not so nice for developing real skills.

Want to become a better #speaker, but not sure how? @cara_putman shares 5 #tips.
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Because I wanted to develop skills in this area, I intentionally sought a job in D.C. that would allow me to try, fail, and try again. I’m blessed that my bosses at the Leadership Institute gave me abundant opportunities.

I kept looking for them.

Today, public speaking is relatively easy for me. People often assume it’s always been this way. It hasn’t. Here are 5 tips that I hope will help you become more comfortable speaking.

1) Seek opportunities to practice. When the fear of public speaking ranks right up there with death, it’s often the last thing we want to do. Why on earth would we seek opportunities to do something that makes our knees quake, our stomachs tremble, and our vision blur? Because being comfortable speaking is an important skill that opens doors. So push yourself. Join an organization like Toastmasters.  The key is to practice.

2) Develop an area of expertise that you are passionate about. It is much easier to talk about areas where our passions lie. I can talk about the Monuments Men all day. I could elaborate on why I think it is so important to mentor young people consistently. You have areas of passion, too. Tap into those and your voice and gestures will be more enthusiastic and lively.

3) Watch other speakers. What do they do well? What could they improve upon? What can you learn from watching them? How do they engage with their audience? How do they use words and their voice to catch your attention. Imitate what you learn until it becomes natural to you. There are some masterful speakers to study.

4) Read Public Speaking Books. Wait. That sounds an awful lot like non-fiction, and we love fiction around here! There is a place for non-fiction and this is one of them. A lot of really smart people have written books sharing their secrets…we don’t have to learn the hard way. We can jump ahead to a new level of skill. There are a host of public speaking books out there.  A few I have in my library are Well Said by Darlene Price, The Exceptional Presenter by Tim Koegel, and How to be a Presentation god by Scott Schwertly. Others would add different books to this list. The key is to find a couple books, read them, and slowly incorporate suggestions into your speaking. The Exceptional Presenter has great tips on how to move, gestures, etc. Well Said has great basics on every aspect of speaking. Each has a strength. Taken together they form a strong picture.

5) Listen/Watch your speeches. Eric teases me when I listen to the podcasts or radio shows I’ve been a guest on. It’s not a matter of hubris, but a matter of listening to what I said and how and using that information to look for areas to improve. In the MBA class, each presentation is videotaped and we have to review and critique our performances. You should do the same. It’s only when you listen to yourself that you notice fillers (umms, uhhs, etc.) and note the speed you talk. It’s when you watch that you pick up nervous tics you’re completely unaware of. It’s not always comfortable, but it is a great way to learn.

What would you add to this list?

This video is of a short motivational speech I gave in class on Saturday. I look at it and still see areas to improve. We all have them. The only way to erase them is to keep speaking or stop altogether.

Fiction Friday: The Sparrow of Terezin

Today in Fiction Friday, I want to introduce you to the latest book from my friend Kristy Cambron.

In the Sparrow of Terezin, Kristy Cambron has crafted a beautiful story of parallel journeys: a completely free-standing story set during World War II, and the other a continuation of the contemporary story in The Butterfly & the Violin. The pages move seamlessly from one story to the next, yet leaving me with a longing for more in each story. This makes the pages fly and makes it difficult to walk away from the story when real life intervenes.

Love #WWII #Fiction? Try @Kcambronauthor A Sparrow in Terezin: “beautiful story of parallel…
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The historical characters are so real, their losses unimagineable, and the hope they find in the darkest of nights tangible. The historical story slips between Prague, London, and Terezin during the war. The journey is one of discovery, family, and war. It is a story of loss and saving.

The contemporary story is one that will not cleanly stand alone. You could read it without first reading The Butterfly & the Violin but you will lose some of the deep meaning of the characters’ battles. This said, it is a beautiful story that will compel you to follow Sera through the challenges and decisions she must make.

The Sparrow of Terezin is a story that will embrace readers who love a mix of modern and historic, romance with emotion, beauty with an awareness that God sees every sparrow.

Spring: Sometimes We All Need a New Start

In Indiana, spring has been late in arriving. Finally, in the last week, it has exploded on the scene. I’m still waiting for my irises to bloom, but the trees are fully decked out…vivid colors…delicate blooms, green leaves stretching out to touch the sky…

It’s a time of fresh beginnings. That may be why spring is one of my favorite seasons.

Sometimes we all need a reminder winter will end, and spring is on the way.
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Read the rest of this post at Inspired by Life & Fiction.

 

How to Help Authors: Write Reviews

Today I’m over at the Writer’s Alley. Here’s the beginning of the post.

Periodically, I’ll get to spend time with readers or developing writers. I absolutely love it. There’s something so fun about rediscovering books through the eyes of a book club. Or to talk about why they want to write with new writers. Often it will come up that they’d like to help and encourage their favorite authors, but they don’t always know how.

One super easy way is to write a review. It can be as easy as leaving a 5 star mark on Amazon or as detailed as telling people why you liked a book.

Writing a review can be intimidating but it doesn’t need to be. I’m always glad to help people feel more comfortable spreading the word about books they love. I love to tell everyone about books that I love…and now that I’m an author, I know just how much a well written review — even if it’s a few sentences (or stars) can help authors.

Many readers use the number of reviews as one way to decide whether or not to try a book or a new to them author. It’s really easy to write reviews! Really.

You can read the rest at the Writers Alley.

5 Ways to Breath Life into Your Child’s Dreams

A year ago my oldest daughter and I spent about twenty hours helping out at a gymnastics meet. Yes, you’re reading that right. Twenty hours.

The competing girls were all levels 3 & 4s. For many of them it was their first state competition. And their dreams were coming true. This weekend our 11 year old competed in his first gymnastics meet. It wasn’t necessarily a dream, but he’d worked hard and liked it so much he wants to do more.

Kids are like that. The kids above are my two oldest several years ago looking through binoculars on Mackinac Island. Kids have the biggest dreams. And as a parent I want to know how to focus in on the one that will lead to success and fulfillment. So what’s a parent to do?

Kids have the biggest #dreams. 5 principles to help yours chase theirs. #raisingkids
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1) Pray with our child about their dreams. Help them turn those dreams over to the one who created them and their dreams. Then I think we need to pray for wisdom to work with God to support those dreams to the best of our ability. For example, my oldest son want to be a Lego engineer. I don’t know how many of those there are in the world, but he loves Legos. Why not encourage him until he grows up more and decides on something else. I wouldn’t be surprised at all to find him working as an engineer of some sort.

2) Evaluate practical ways to encourage the dream. Is there a class they need to take? A sport they should try? Do they need to stick with something they decide isn’t them through their commitment? My eleven and eight year old are in a children’s choir right now. It’s hitting that point of the school year that the fun has worn off. The songs are boring. They aren’t learning anything (from their perspective) etc. Doesn’t matter. To me, learning you have to finish what you start is as important as the singing.

3)  Ask God to show you what He’s working out in them through the dream and the experiences that dream generates. There are days I want to beg our oldest to give-up on her dream. It’s painful to watch her struggle. But the days she lights up because she’s learned a new skill or conquered a skill that eluded her are wonderful. I’ve asked God to show me if we reach a point where she needs to be redirected. Instead, He keeps showing me all the character she is developing.

4) Don’t be afraid to let your kids fall as they chase their dream. Often it’s in the falling and challenges that they learn the skills they’ll need in life to thrive.  Now several years down the road of chasing her gymnastics dreams, our oldest has pushed through a sub-located knee, falls galore, and disappointment. She’s gone to the gym when she didn’t feel like it. But by not giving up on her dream, this spring she won the Floor Exercise gold at the State meet. What could your child achieve if they pushed through the hard days as they chased a dream?

5) Let them watch you chase your dreams. Just click on my dreams page to see all the ways God has stretched me! There is such value in the kids watching me work hard and make sacrifices to chase my dreams. Also don’t forget to dream as a family.



I generally follow these principles with my children, and they seem to help them chase their dreams.

What tips would you add to these?

Fiction Friday: The Inn at Ocean’s Edge

The Inn at Ocean’s Ridge is Colleen Coble at her best. The story is richly layered around the theme of what makes us a family. Is it blood relationships? Is it love? Is it something else?

Claire Dellamare arrives at Hotel Tourmaline ready to help her father close a merger with another company. But the moment she arrives, she has a flashback or panic attack that sends her running for the ocean. Luke Rocco is in a quandary deciding between staying in the Coast Guard or coming home to run the family’s cranberry bogs. Soon he’s in the middle of helping Claire unravel the truth about her past and his mother.

Love #romanticSuspense? Try @ColleenCoble latest #amreading:
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There are threads of murder, kidnapping, and so much more. For the quiet shore of Maine, there’s a lot of crime surrounding Claire — something that keeps the sheriff unsure of what’s really happening. Through it all, Claire and Luke stay the path in their dogged pursuit of truth. At the same time another character is equally determined to find the truth –regardless of the cost — because her life depends on it.

The story has a strong romantic thread and several subplots that all come together before you reach the end. But the strongest part of this story is the exploration of family. Readers of Colleen Coble’s other books will enjoy this first book set on the Maine coast. It will also delight those who love a strong romantic mystery.

8 Truths When The Tension Between Callings Overwhelms

My daughter won floor at state this weekend…I was in classes. Tension? Yes!

This last month I’ve missed events in my kids’ lives because a calling meant I couldn’t be in two places at the same time. Just the other night my husband and I were talking about the importance of not devaluing calling yet achieving balance in all areas.

The next day I saw a post on Facebook from singer Meredith Andrews. In it she talked about the tension of knowing she’s the only wife to her husband, the only mom to her sons, and called to do something “soul-satisfying” as she lets God use her. She wrapped up by saying, “So until cloning is actually a thing, you’ll find me over here begging the Lord for clarity and strength and an extra measure of grace to be present and faithful wherever He calls me to be.” Her post is here on Saturday, April 11 at 6:57 p.m.

Torn between multiple callings? 8 truths from @cara_putman when the tension overwhelms.
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Did I just hear all the called Mamas exhale an “AMEN?”

There is such tension in the balance.

How do we answer the calling to be wives and mamas? How do we balance those callings when God has called us to additional arenas?

I wish I had the answers.

But this I know…

…if God called me, He has the timing already planned out.

….inside my callings there will be ebbs and flows. Some days I need to focus on rotating callings. It doesn’t mean each day is filled with equal focus on each one at the same time.

…I need to hold all of the callings loosely and trust the One who called me. (Jeremiah 17:8, Psalm 1:3) Trust Him to guide me. Trust Him with the timing. Trust Him with the plan. The direction. The day-to-day. He holds me and He holds my calling.

…I will not be perfect at this. How can I be? I don’t have Wonder Woman’s invisible plane or other superhero tools. (Psalm 18:30, Deuteronomy 32:4, & Matthew 5:48) But it’s in my weakness that I am reminded of how much I need His strength and leaning. (II Corinthians 12:9-11) And in those points of weakness, God can flow through me and make an impact I could never achieve in my own strength.

…In the daily surrender of my callings, I can find clarity in what to do in each day. Matthew 7:7

…I need to be brave in pursuing the calling — If He’s leading then I must follow. (Joshua 1:9, Deuteronomy 31:8, I Peter 5:7)

…If I long for more in one area, I can ask God if that’s His will for this season in my life. ( Matthew 7:11) I’ve specifically asked Him for more speaking opportunities in the past. His answer was immediate. Yet at other times, I’ve known I couldn’t balance that with everything else on my plate. So I need to be flexible and willing to learn and grow as I wait on Him.

…I have to be willing to recognize and admit when I get out of balance. (Colossians 3:23) I need to hear when the people God has put in my life question how much I’m doing and the whats I’m doing. Their comments may echo His heart for me. So I have to be careful not to get locked in to the way I’m doing things in this moment. It’s likely not going to be the balance I need tomorrow.

This is an area of growth for me. AKA I haven’t arrived. So I’m eager to hear how you balance the callings in your life.

 

Riding the Waves of Teenage Emotions

Some days just don’t start well. One of the kids wakes up on the wrong side of the bed – and it’s so bad you wonder who replaced your sweet, fun-loving kid with this surly grouch. What really makes it bad is one bad mood spreads like the most effective virus…especially when the younger kids watch and decide it must be okay since they see their sibling getting away with it.

So what’s a mom to do?

How to get your teen to take ownership of their moods. 4 steps from @cara_putman. #raisingkids
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We all know hormones get rocky as kids mature. I’ve weathered this with my teenage daughter and am beginning that journey with my tweener son. Does that mean we’re destined to let the kids’ moods dictate family life? I hope not! I don’t claim to have this down pat, but here are a couple things I do to try to smooth the roller-coaster of emotion that threatens to derail our days.

1)     When I notice a child is acting out of character, I try to get them in another room – away from prying siblings. On the days our hormones and emotions are out of control, it’s easy to be embarrassed by the things we’re doing and saying. Often we know we’re overreacting. I know I’ve had more than my fair share of those moments. At the same time, it’s hard to acknowledge it publicly. Removing the audience helps remove the additional embarrassment of being called to the carpet for that ‘tude.

2)     Then I ask the child if they understand what is going on. Do they have insight into what’s happening? Getting them to articulate the root cause the best they can helps them take ownership of their mood. Some days this is easier than others. Sometimes we have to go through these first two steps several times before the child has insight to understand what is happening. I’ve been known to detour from a destination a child is counting on to let them know how serious I am about them owning and correcting their moods.

3)     If possible I outline specific actions or words that are inappropriate. Yelling at a sibling for no reason and at a volume I can hear half a house away. Rolling their eyes when I ask them to do something. Passive aggressive refusal to do an assignment they know is required of them. The list could go on. What’s important is that giving concrete examples helps hone in on the behavior and make sure they understand exactly what caused the problem.

4)     Then I ask if they need to take some time alone. Pray? Get the space to cool down? What can I do to help them regain control? I try to emphasize that while the hormones and emotions may feel out of control, with God’s help they can exercise control of all areas of their lives. My desire is that my kids learn as young preteens and teens that they can’t let their emotions control their days. Instead, if they acknowledge what is racing through their minds, they can take control of it, their attitude, and ultimately their day.

What strategies have you employed with your kids or the young people in your life to deal with teenage emotions?

Riding the Waves of Teenage Emotions

 

Some days just don’t start well. One of the kids wakes up on the wrong side of the bed – and it’s so bad you wonder who replaced your sweet, fun-loving kids with this surly grouch. What really makes it bad is one bad mood spreads like the most effective virus…especially when the younger kids watch and decide it must be okay since they see their sibling getting away with it.

So what’s a mom to do?

We all know hormones get rocky as kids mature. Does that mean we’re destined to let the kids’ moods dictate family life? I hope not! I don’t claim to have this down pat, but here are a couple things I do to try to smooth the roller-coaster of emotion that tries to derail our days.

1)     When I notice a child is acting out of character, I try to get them in another room – one without prying siblings. On the days our hormones and emotions are out of control, it’s easy to be embarrassed by the things we’re doing and saying. Removing the audience helps remove the additional embarrassment of being called to the carpet for that ‘tude.

2)     Then I ask the child if they know what is going on. Getting them to articulate the best they can helps them begin to take ownership of their mood. Some days this is easier than others. Sometimes we have to go through these first two steps several times before the child has insight to understand what is happening.

3)     If possible I outline specific actions or words that are inappropriate. Yelling at a sibling for no reason and at a volume I can hear half a house away. Giving concrete examples helps hone in on the behavior.

4)     Then I ask if they need to take some time alone. Pray? Get the space to cool down? What can I do to help them regain control? I try to emphasize that while the hormones and emotions may feel out of control, with God’s help they can exercise control of all areas of their lives.

What strategies have you employed with your kids or the young people in your life to deal with teenage emotions?