Susan Scott's Blog, page 33

Friday Resource: 3 Ways Leaders Can Increase Empathy

This week’s Friday resource comes from Forbes and lists ways leaders can grow in empathy.

Research reveals that today’s most successful leaders all have a trait in common: empathy. Empathy allows a person to step into another person’s shoes and understand their perspective. This trait is beneficial because it allows whomever is in the position of leadership to approach the needs of their team members with genuine concern, which creates trust and strengthens relationships within teams and organizations.

In conversation, empathy shifts how a leader will guide and respond to the discussion. A conversation with an empathic leader often leaves people feeling seen, heard, and cared for.

Per Teri Citterman, CEO of Talonn and Forbes contributor, here are some ways you can increase empathy as a leader.

1. Know more. “Do you know what’s most important to each of your team members? Not what you think is, but what actually is most important? If you don’t, how can you support them in achieving their goals in their careers and in their lives – let alone, giving their best to you? How do you know how to motivate them?”

2. Care more. “Once I was having a conversation at a crowded restaurant with a prominent leader. He said, ‘You know Teri, you make me feel like I’m the only one in the room.’ I asked him to elaborate. He said, ‘Because you’re not distracted, you maintain eye contact and you ask great questions.’ (This was prior to becoming an executive coach). The learning here is simple. We are all distracted. But when you’re meeting with a team member, or an employee or with anyone for that matter, focus. Help that person feel, that to you, they’re the most important person in the room.”

Read the third tip and the rest of the article here.

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Attention, Leaders: Strengthen Empathy by Dropping These 4 Words from Your Vocabulary

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” –Rudyard Kipling

Humble, empathic leaders have been found to be the most successful.

Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, defines empathy as “having the ability to sense others’ feelings and how they see things.”

Words, in conjunction with our behaviors, create empathy. When a leader uses words to label others, especially harsh or negative labels, it can be damaging to those on the receiving end on a deep, visceral level, not to mention damaging to any goal an organization is trying to achieve. To be a successful, empathic leader, it’s necessary to drop damaging labels from your vocabulary.

Management Research Group reports that empathy is widely considered “the most important (out of 22) leadership behaviors.” When a leader embodies empathy and kindness, it allows employees to build trust, feel safe enough psychologically to contribute, and tap into internal motivation, allowing them to achieve goals out of desire rather than fear.

And don’t confuse the harsh criticism of labels with constructive feedback. They are vastly different. Harsh criticism and labels tear others down, erode self-esteem, and harm rather than encourage. Constructive feedback, on the completely opposite hand, is a way of suggesting improvements around a specific behavior while maintaining respect and appreciation for the individual.

Words have impact, so there is no trivial comment as a leader. If you want to understand your team members, grow in empathy, and connect on a deeper level, eliminate the following words from your vocabulary:

1. Lazy

We generally label someone lazy when they’re not being as productive or as efficient as we would personally like them to be. While there is such thing as lazy behavior, labeling someone lazy ignores the potential reason behind the behavior and disregards their capability to make improvements. Perhaps what you perceive as laziness in another person is in fact a lack of creative inspiration, difficulties with health or personal life outside of work, task-related confusion, or maybe just a slower-than-average work pace. Keep in mind that we all approach situations through our own filter, or “context” (more on context here).

Investigate the situation through direct conversation with the person about the behavior, seek to understand the circumstances, and look for opportunities to clarify or adjust expectations. And instead of using the word lazy, use the word that is the source of the behavior such as uninspired, distracted, or overwhelmed, which will present an opportunity for solutions rather than focusing on the problem by using harmful labels.

2. Selfish

Newsflash: not getting your way doesn’t make someone else selfish. Instead, it assumes their intention which may be entirely different than what you think it is. Rather than using the label selfish, seek our more information about where the employee is placing their focus and their priorities. If you feel an employee is neglecting expectations or team goals, it’s important to have the conversation with the individual about how you (and perhaps other members of the team) are feeling. If the team member is not receptive and if you see no change in behavior, consider the possibility that they might be getting a need or desire of their own met by not meeting yours. This helps build understanding. Simultaneously, it’s important for everyone to be on the same page when it comes to fulfilling objectives.

Again, clarify expectations while taking the needs of both parties into consideration. If the expectations you’ve set aren’t or can’t be met, create healthy boundaries for yourself and the organization by deciding how, and if, the working relationship can continue. Sometimes it’s a matter of adjusting your expectations, and sometimes it turns out that the team member and their current role aren’t the best match.

3. Wrong

In many instances, the word wrong actually fits the situation. Facts, or what’s actually true in reality, can be right or wrong. For example, if a team member makes a statement about a project’s data that doesn’t reflect the actual data, that statement would be objectively wrong. However, not everything in life is so black and white. When we step into the realm of creativity and emotions, using the word wrong just doesn’t work. Here’s where the word wrong gets used wrongly in the workplace: labeling a person wrong for their creative ideas, desires, or feelings simply because you don’t like or agree with them. Keep in mind that your reality is just as important as anyone else’s, and everyone else’s reality is just as important as yours. Avoid the judgy “you’re wrong” mentality by approaching other perspectives with openness and curiosity.

4. Stupid

If you’re in a leadership position and you label someone stupid, you’re going to come off as cold, unfeeling, and certainly not a source of positive morale. Why? As Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” It’s true that some people are “stronger” in certain areas or certain subjects than others, but everyone has a skill or strength they can use to benefit a team. Find where the employee does excel, and support them in focusing their energies on where they can be the greatest contribution.

Also, check your reality—it’s possible that a team member who you’ve mislabeled as unintelligent may just need additional training, clarity, or coaching. Rather than calling someone stupid, ditch the criticism and try providing support and resources instead.

What are your thoughts on the words listed here? Are there any others you think are worth eliminating? Share with us.

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Fierce Tip of the Week: Be Kind

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” ― Henry James

Showing kindness in the workplace can get a bad rap. It can be mistaken as a weakness. Some believe it is an emotion we should not show.

Don’t let this old school way of thinking misguide you.

Being kind is the greatest gift we can give one another. It is an attribute that encompasses empathy and sympathy, while simultaneously building trust and respect. Kindness goes a long way and often takes very little energy on our parts.

This week take every opportunity to be kindhearted to those you spend your days with. No act is too small and if the week provides you the chance to show your humanity in a large way – seize it!

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Friday Resource: One Unconscious Bias is Keeping Women Out of Senior Roles

This week’s Friday resource comes from Business Insider and calls attention to a common bias preventing women from being promoted to leadership roles.

A number of biases can impact our decisions in the workplace when it comes to hiring and promotion, but one bias in particular often prevents women from receiving the roles they’re seeking: affinity bias.

Affinity bias is present when we show favoritism for people who are like us. If the majority of the people within an organization who hire and promote are men, affinity bias can lead them to choose candidates who are also men, even if the men being selected are not actually the most suited candidates.

Per contributors Melissa Wheeler and Victor Sojo, here are some ways companies can overcome this bias:

1. Implementing gender targets and quotas to increase gender equality in leadership

2. Increasing awareness, which can mitigate the effects of affinity bias and other unconscious biases, through training and prompts to serve as reminders before panels meet to make hiring decisions

3. De-identifying CVs, or removing all demographic information in applicants’ resumes or other forms of submissions

Read the fourth tip and the full article here.

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An Easy Trick to Reduce Workplace Biases

“I may think I see you as you are, but in truth, I see you as I am.” – Susan Scott

If you’re human, you’re guilty of having biases. We all plead a bit of insanity.

We tend to see things through our own filters. Sometimes we make conclusions about a person or situation only to later realize the conclusion was unfair or lacked any basis in reality.

In case you need a refresher, cognitive bias creates prejudice, skewed perception, or preference to show up in ways (and in places) where our work and the people around us end up marginalized, misunderstood, or otherwise negatively impacted. They often consist of conclusions or assumptions that in some way veer from the reality of the situation, leading us to make decisions that also disregard reality.

Our workplace is affected by bias because we hire, interact with others, and even fire based on our judgments and perceptions. If our perceptions are faulty, our decisions will be, too.

There are over a hundred cognitive biases, making awareness a slow and complex acquisition. But don’t be too hard on yourself if you observe bias in yourself. Bias is a natural survival tendency, helping us sort through information and make decisions based on what feels safe. Even Daniel Kahneman, author of Thinking, Fast and Slow, whose work with Amos Tversky uncovered the biases that warp our judgment, hasn’t succeeded in completely eliminating his own bias: “There are many biases, and I certainly do not claim to be immune from them. I suffer from all of them.” Through awareness, practice, and training, however, we can reduce the influence of bias in our daily decisions.

A type of bias I often notice within myself is the “false consensus effect.” I inaccurately predict that my own perspectives will receive more agreement than they actually do. I think to myself, I’m coming from a well-intentioned place, and my argument makes so much sense to me. Surely others will be on board, right? Wrong. I have the tendency to overlook the fact that people have their own experiences from which they’ve built their contexts, and they might vary greatly from my own. When many people disagree with me at once, it can be a hard pill to swallow.

By exploring and addressing cognitive bias, both in how it shows up within organizations and within ourselves, we strengthen our ability to:

• Innovate

• Create an inclusive culture (Read more about bias, inclusion, and innovation in our latest whitepaper)

• Collaborate productively

• Hire the best candidates

• Have more effective conversations

• Engage and retain

We can grow in our awareness and reduce bias with this simple trick: ask yourself if the perception you currently have (or that someone else has) about a person or situation is reliable. Be willing to have this conversation with yourself and others. Ask, can you prove it? Do you have data to back it up? Is it the ground truth—what’s really happening—or does it veer from reality? Is this perception avoiding reality in some way?

When I default to the “false consensus effect,” a moment arises where I have an opportunity to check my assumptions. Am I making a decision based on the assumption that others will agree with me? Is that assumption reliable? Do I have any data to verify my assumption? If not, then it will allow me to either let go of all assumptions or gather more information before deciding.

By investigating the reliability of our perceptions, we can move beyond them and uncover what’s actually real—and hopefully make better decisions as a result.

Reducing bias happens over time with practice, and having the right conversation skills can greatly reduce the presence and negative impact of bias in the workplace. Check out our conversation training programs that can help you and your organization overcome the biases that are hijacking your culture—and your results.

Do you witness bias in the workplace? What is the impact? Share with us.

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Fierce Tip of the Week: Hold Yourself Able

At Fierce, we believe that accountability is a bias towards action: an attitude, a personal, private, non-negotiable choice about how to live your life.

The reality is, as much as you may want to, you can’t hold someone accountable.

In Fierce Accountability, we talk about the difference between holding someone accountable and holding someone able. When you hold someone able, you choose to recognize the capacity of each person you are connecting with to achieve the goals you agreed upon.

Where can you take a more accountable position in your life? At work? On certain projects? With your partner? With your kids?

This week’s tip is to hold yourself able with your commitments. Trust and make the choices you need to make for the important relationships and objectives in your life right now.

You are the only one who can.

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Friday Resource: The Causes of Employee Negativity

This week’s Friday resource comes from The Balance and identifies the leading causes of employee negativity.

Negativity is one of the leading causes of stress in the workplace. It decreases employee morale, productivity, job satisfaction, and work quality, which results in big costs to organizations.

While negativity can stem from many various sources, research has identified five primary causes. Identifying the source of negativity can help employers both prevent negativity and address existing negativity in a constructive way through understanding, empathy, and action.

Per Susan M. Heathfield, The Balance, here are some interesting insights into the causes of employee negativity:

“A recent study answers the question about what causes employee negativity. The study, conducted by Towers Perrin and researchers Gang & Gang, surveyed a randomly selected group of 1,100 employees and 300 senior Human Resources executives working for mid-sized and large-sized companies in the United States and Canada. Participants were asked to describe their feelings about their current work experience, they were also invited to describe an ‘ideal’ work experience.

According to Employee Benefit News, the study ‘used a unique emotion-based research technique called Resonance, which captured participants’ spontaneous emotional responses to the total work experience.’

The study determined that the reasons for most of the employee negativity included these that I call the big five:

• An excessive workload

• Concerns about management’s ability to lead the company forward successfully

• Anxiety about the future, particular longer-term job, income and retirement security

• Lack of challenge in their work, with boredom intensifying existing frustration about workload

• Insufficient recognition for the level of contribution and effort provided, and concerns that pay isn’t commensurate with performance.”

Read tips on how to address these causes and the full article here.

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How to Address Employee Toxicity: 3 Fierce Tips

You know the one. The one who frequently complains. Gossips. Blames others. Leaves people hanging.

Today we released our recent survey results from a thousand full-time employees across the U.S. who weighed in on toxic employees. Cited by the majority of respondents, a negative attitude is the most toxic and most detrimental trait an employee can have. And more than three-quarters (76%) say a special talent or skill never or infrequently outweighs the impact of a co-worker’s negativity. I completely agree with our respondents. I have personally witnessed how a toxic employee can bring a whole team down.

Toxic employees wreak havoc on an organization. First and foremost, they increase stress, according to those surveyed, followed by decreasing overall job satisfaction. For the organization as a whole, respondents believe a toxic employee decreases morale, followed by decreasing productivity, and decreasing the quality of work product. For women, toxic employees have a more detrimental effect, as 10 percent more women reported toxic employees increase their likelihood to leave a job than their male counterparts.

Most of us don’t deny that this problem exists. The challenge is that the toxicity isn’t being addressed directly. Over half (53%) say they handle toxic employees by ignoring them, with less than a quarter (24%) confronting these individuals directly. So how do they want it solved? Over two-thirds (69%) of those surveyed wish their organizations were less tolerant of these individuals.

However, organizations are made up of individuals. This means individuals need to be willing to confront—at every level and in every position. Here at Fierce, we see huge conversation skill gaps in workplaces around the world. People do not know how and when to have the conversations that matter. And we are bound and determined to help.

It isn’t only skill, though. Individuals’ beliefs matter. Less than 1 in 5 surveyed believe a co-worker will change once confronted. Skills alone will not cut it. The beliefs around conversations must be addressed as well to really solve the problem of not confronting.

Ultimately, confronting issues such as toxic attitudes is key to any healthy relationship, and there are effective and ineffective ways to go about it. One way will create positive results and the other may have no impact or even make things worse. A successful confrontation will leave both parties feeling like the relationship has been enriched and issues have been resolved. Without the skills to confront, it’s not surprising that employees don’t feel like the tactic is successful, and in turn are less likely to try to improve the situation. This cycle can be the downfall of a good team, or even an entire organization if it’s not addressed.

In addition to directly confronting the toxic employee, apply the following tips:

1. Take employee concerns seriously. Don’t dismiss or disregard issues that are brought to your attention. Instead of sweeping concerns under the rug, address them head on. We find in organizations that when people report issues, they are often occurring weeks or sometimes months before they are openly discussed.

2. Have a plan in place. Once toxic employees are confronted, have a growth plan in place to hold both sides accountable for their improvement. Ultimately, some negative attitudes can have root causes that can be solved and worked through. Others, not so much. A plan needs to be in place whether it is a growth plan for the employee who wants to improve, or an exit plan for those employees who insist on continuing their toxic behavior.

3. Assure all employees are equipped to handle confrontation conversations. Confrontation conversations can be challenging, and it’s important to develop the skills necessary. There are many training options available, and our immediately applicable training suggests a simple 60-second statement to open this conversation.

The data doesn’t lie: toxic employees are costing individuals and organizations peace of mind and productivity. Confrontation—as well as the skills and willingness to do so—are essential for the growth and well-being of everyone involved, including toxic employees.

Read the full survey results here.

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Fierce Tip of the Week: Know They Can Handle It

Excuses, excuses, excuses. People make excuses all the time when it comes to not having the conversations they need to have. We hear this everywhere regardless of one’s title, location, or status.

One of the most common justifications to not have the conversation is the other person can’t handle it. Responses look like: They’ll get hurt. They’ll get defensive. They won’t talk about it.

The irony of this excuse is that the person saying it is the one who is scared, uncertain, or assumptive about the outcome. Don’t get me wrong, there are absolutely valid reasons for feeling tentative. You may have been burned in the past. Maybe Johnny in the Finance Department spoke up, and he is no longer with your company. Maybe someone in your family continues to show up the same way every time things get tough. So given those realities, there is absolutely skill in how you approach the conversations.

This means you need to prepare and practice. Yet you still need to do it.

Just remember, if your life succeeds or fails one conversation at a time, ensuring that these conversations take place is up to you. If you know that something needs to shift, you are the one responsible for it.

This week’s tip is to hold people able to handle the truth and the conversation that needs to happen. Do not make compromises for other people about what they can and can’t manage.

Engage and find out for yourself. The outcomes may surprise you.

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Friday Resource: You Can’t Motivate Your Team, But You Can Inspire Them

This week’s Friday resource comes from Forbes and lists ways leaders can inspire their teams.

There are two types of motivation: external and internal. External motivation often comes in the form of rewards, money, fame, or praise. Internal motivation, on the other hand, is driven by our deeper values and needs.

Leaders can create external incentives, but these efforts are short-lived once the reward has run its course for the receiver. The best way to produce sustainable results within an organization is to tap into each individual’s internal world and inspire in a way that leads to long-lasting and self-directed action.

When leaders have the right kind of conversations with their team members, it can inspire, engage, and drive employees to act. Here’s what to address in these conversations, according to Frances McIntosh, Forbes Coaches Council:

1. Connect with their core values. “By identifying what’s important to them and what their core values are, your people will have a better understanding of how to motivate themselves in their role because they’re better able to connect what they’re doing to their internal self. When something—a project, specific task, conversation, whatever—aligns with one’s core values, this acts as a catalyst for further motivation. A sample exercise of how to discover your team members’ personal values can be found here.”

2. Provide clarity on everyone’s expectations. “As the leader, it’s important to not get caught up with ‘everyone should be able to do everything’ thoughts. Rather, approach projects with the mindset of how to utilize each person’s skills, along with their values, so your team can meet deadlines while providing quality work and results. From there, it’s about assigning specific tasks and offering clarity and support accordingly. One question you should ask your team as you begin a new project is, ‘What would motivate you to focus on the end goal of this project?’ This helps you get clear on what values your individual team members need met to find their self-motivation within the project.”

3. Support them to self-manage. “By understanding the individuals on your team, you’re better equipped to support them in their own self-management, recognizing what they’ll need along the way to stay motivated on specific projects and individual responsibilities. By offering support rather than telling them to get motivated, you add humanity back into your projects because you consider the person behind the work and what it will take for the person to complete the work rather than just the work itself.”

Read the last tip and the rest of the article here.

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