Gabe Cole Novoa's Blog, page 29

Fixing the First Page Feature #28

Photo credit: mineIt's Halloween! Also known as the last day of October, which means it's time for this month's Fixing the First Page Feature! Hooray!
As per usual, I'll start by posting the full first 250 excerpt, after which I'll share my overall thoughts, then my redline critique. I encourage you guys to share your own thoughts and critiques in the comments (because I'm one person with one opinion!), as long as it's polite, thoughtful, and constructive. Any rude or mean comments will be unceremoniously deleted.
Here we go!
Title: LEGACY

Genre/Category: NA Dystopian Urban Fantasy

First 250 words:

"Only one thing could make me leave my house for the first time in two years—the promise of revenge. The vague message I’d received via email had been just a hint, but the opportunity had sounded too sweet to resist. 

Hell Here at 10. No more. 

Bundled against the driving snow in a wool coat and gloves, I marched down the sidewalk in front of my house. The brutal Iceland wind whipped my collar into my chin and spiked frozen needles through the leather on my hands. My loud, crunchy footsteps through the knee-high snowdrifts beat a laborious rhythm at the back of my skull. I was used to dead silence contained within four walls, not this eternal winter bullshit. 

By the time Hell Here’s neon lights strobed behind the falling snow, I quickened my pace. Despite the harsh weather, the arctic air fanned the vengeful fire that burned in my gut into a raging storm. 

I grinned, possibly a little too maniacally, because a couple coming up the sidewalk skirted wide. I eased up the shoveled path toward the thick wooden door of Hell Here and mistakenly made a grab at the handle. Pain stabbed into my hand and flared red across my vision. An anguished cry ripped from my mouth and lost itself in the wind. I backed away, gripping my palm to my middle, while tears iced my cheeks. Thankfully, no one stood around to see that nonsense. 

A burly man knocked his way out the door, and I slid by him into the crowded bar."

Interesting! I'm curious about a couple things here, like what's going on and why the protagonist hurt themself when touching the doorknob (does that happen with any doorknob? just this particular door?). My main concern right now is that it's very internal so far and the e-mail is so vague it strikes me as a tad bit...melodramatic, I guess? I couldn't really take it seriously because it felt so fictional, I suppose, but that could very well just be me. Otherwise, I'm liking the wintry backdrop and my curiosity is piqued. :)

Now for the in-line notes:

"Only one thing could make me leave my house for the first time in two years—the promise of revenge. Interesting opening. I'm curious. The vague message I’d received via email had been just a hint, but the opportunity had sounded too sweet to resist. Here's my second issue with the e-mail: your protagonist mentions the opportunity sounds too good to resist, but the e-mail is so vague that no opportunity is mentioned. So if your protagonist knows what opportunity this is referring to, the readers should know too.

Hell Here at 10. No more. 

Bundled against the driving snow in a wool coat and gloves, I marched down the sidewalk in front of my house. The brutal Iceland wind whipped my collar into my chin and spiked frozen needles through the leather on my hands. Great imagery here. My loud, crunchy footsteps through the knee-high snowdrifts beat a laborious rhythm at the back of my skull. "Laborious rhythm" doesn't sound to me like something anyone would say casually—and it throws off the flow to me (which is ironic, because it's talking about rhythm). I was used to dead silence contained within four walls, not this eternal winter bullshit. Nice voice.

By the time Hell Here’s neon lights strobed behind the falling snow,; I quickened my pace. Adjusted because "by the time" indicates something happened by the time they reach the place. Right now it sounds like you're saying when they see the lights they speed up. Despite the harsh weather, the arctic air fanned the vengeful fire that burned in my gut into a raging storm. See note on this below.

I grinned, possibly a little too maniacally, because a couple coming up the sidewalk skirted wide. I eased up the shoveled path toward the thick wooden door of Hell Here and mistakenly made a grab at the handle. Pain stabbed into my hand and flared red across my vision. An anguished cry ripped from my mouth and lost itself in the wind. I backed away, gripping my palm to my middle, while tears iced my cheeks. Lovely detail. I've had this happen IRL and it is a bizarre thing to experience. Thankfully, no one stood around to see that nonsense. 

A burly man knocked his way out the door, and I slid by him into the crowded bar."

Note: upon a second read, the main issue I'm noting is as a reader, I don't feel your protagonist's anger. This is for two reasons—one, we've literally just met your protagonist and know nothing about why they're pissed (which is fine, this is the first page), but also because I haven't really connected with them yet. You've got the emotions in place, so to try to start forging this connection I recommend including more of their thoughts. What are they thinking when they finally see their destination? What are they thinking about the e-mail? Do they know who sent it? What it's referring to? I have no idea what's going on as a reader, but your protagonist does, so we should get glimpses of that even from the first page.

Okay! So all in all, this is well-polished already to begin with—I didn't have a whole lot to adjust in the line edits because with exception to the minor points I noted, it already reads smoothly, so nicely done! I think it could still use a little tweaking, as I mentioned above, but if I saw this in the slush I'd definitely keep reading. :)

I hope that helps! Thanks for sharing your first 250 with us, Lindsey!

Would you like to be featured in the next Fixing the First Page critique? Keep an eye out for the next giveaway in November!
Twitter-sized bite:

.@Ava_Jae talks deepening POV, great imagery and more in the 28th Fixing the First Page Feature. (Click to tweet)

On Creating (Flexible) Schedules

Photo credit: RHiNO NEAL on FlickrSo a couple days ago, I tweeted a realization I had about just how incredibly busy I'll be in November. I suppose I already knew that logically, but after picking up a part time job, remembering NaNo is days away, and booking editing clients for next month, it all started to sink in. But it was a good realization—because while my schedule will be, let's face it, a lot, it's all stuff I really enjoy doing.

The tweet, however, inevitably led to people asking me how I plan to manage it all, which got me thinking about scheduling, yes, but more specifically flexible scheduling to make the most of my time every day.

I've written before about how I'm a morning person and get most of my writing done then. This worked well when I had afternoon classes or worked nights as a waitress—I got all my writing done in the early morning hours then tackled whatever commitments I needed to get done. Looking at my schedule for the first week of NaNo, however...I can already see that's going to be a little more challenging.

Right now, out of the first six days of NaNo, I have commitments in the morning on three days. I'm getting the sense this is probably going to be a common thing next month, so I've already started making necessary plans to fit everything into my schedule. The building block for busiest days next month will probably look something like this:

5:15 AM: WAKE UP (I've been getting lazy with this and pushing this closer to 6AM, but next month I need to be stricter about it because I'm going to need the time.) 

5:30 - 7:15 AM: Write, blog/vlog stuff 

7:15 - 8:30 AM: Get ready for day's commitments 

[Do day stuff] 

2:00 PM - ???: Editing work, work out, whatever else I need done for the day.

This of course is a really rough sketch and will need to be adjusted daily depending on my needs for the day, but I find that it helps to plan out my busiest days, so that on days I have extra time or more flexible hours, great, but if not I know I can still squeeze in what I need to. I'm also thinking it might be a good idea to plan my blog topics in advance because it tends to take me longer to figure out what to write about than to actually write the post. Maybe I'll even write some posts in advance...hmm.

Then, of course, there's a very important second component to this: built-in breaks. Traditionally, I've established Sundays as my day off, in which I don't allow myself to do any work. This will remain true next month, though I've already decided if I fall behind on my NaNo writing, Sunday is the day I'll allow myself to make it up, mostly because it's work I find the most enjoyable, so I wouldn't stress too much over it. Even if I manage not to fall behind, I'll likely NaNo on a Sunday or two to give myself wiggle room for those days where I just can't squeeze the writing in.

The keys to flexible scheduling, I find, is to plan for the worst (i.e.: least time), take minutes where you can, and be kind to yourself. That last part means don't forget self-care, because when you're in the grind, forgetting self-care can be pretty disastrous. For me that means Sundays (mostly) off. For you it may mean something else—just make sure you don't neglect it.

I'm wishing you guys all the best next month, whether you're NaNoing or not!

Do you use flexible schedules? 

Twitter-sized bites:

Tight on time but want to get some writing done? @Ava_Jae shares tips on making flexible schedules. (Click to tweet)

What Books Must You Read Before 2017?

Photo credit: Lynn Friedman on FlickrSo, incredibly we have just over two months left of 2016 which means, if you're anything like me, you're looking at your reading challenge and laughing nervously about how you're going to read seventeen more books before the end of the year. Or you're looking at your TBR shelf and thinking about what books you want to squeeze in before the New Year. Or both.

I am firmly in the both category and thought it might be fun to talk about what books you guys plan to definitely (try) to read before 2017. Because my list is growing, which is good because those seventeen books aren't going to read themselves.

The books on my list include:

Crooked Kingdom  by Leigh Bardugo Gemina  by Jay Kristoff and Amie KaufmanLast Seen Leaving by Caleb Roehrig This Savage Song  by Victoria Schwab The Last Leaves Falling  by Fox Benwell (w/a Sarah Benwell) All the Rage  by Courtney Summers Killer Instinct  by S.E. Green Timekeeper  by Tara Sim Fear the Drowning Deep  by Sarah Marsh Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit  by Jaye Robin Brown Written in the Stars  by Aisha Saeed Bad Boy  by Elliot WakeGena/Finn by Hannah Moskowitz and Kat HelgesonMore graphic novels/comics? Some writing craft books?Definitely others I'm not remembering at the moment.
Most of those I either own, have pre-ordered, or have ARCs for, and the rest I plan to hunt down at my library, which I've confirmed are there. And because of course it's totally not too early to be thinking about Christmas list books, I'll be asking for these:

Three Dark Crowns  by Kendare Blake When the Moon Was Ours  by Anna-Marie McLemore As I Descended  by Robin Talley Labryinth Lost  by Zoraida Córdova Of Fire and Stars  by Audrey Coulthurst A Darkly Beating Heart  by Lindsay Smith Fear the Drowning Deep  by Sarah Glenn Marsh Timekeeper  by Tara SimProbably others
How about you? What do you aim to read before 2017 and/or plan to ask for in December?
Twitter-sized bite:

What are some of your must reads before 2017? Join the discussion on @Ava_Jae's blog. (Click to tweet)

Fixing the First Page Winner #28!

Photo credit: fast1fred on FlickrAnother quick pre-post post to announce the winner of the twenty-eighth fixing the first page feature giveaway!

*drumroll*

And the twenty-eighth winner is…



LINDSEY LOUCKS!


Yay! Congratulations, Lindsey!

Thanks again to all you lovely entrants! If you didn't win, as always, there will be another fixing the first page giveaway in November, so keep an eye out! :)

Vlog: How to Prepare for NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo is a week away! So for those of you scrambling to get ready for the big event, here are some NaNo preparation tips.


RELATED LINKS:

All the NaNoWriMo (YouTube playlist)How I Won NaNoWriMo in 9 DaysHelpful NaNoWriMo LinksHow to Make NaNoWriMo Especially DifficultDiscussion: Will You NaNo This Year?On NaNoWriMo and Finding Time
What NaNo preparation tips would you add to the list?
Twitter-sized bite:

Getting ready for #NaNoWriMo? Author @Ava_Jae vlogs 5 ways to get ready for the big event. (Click to tweet)

Are Your Characters Flawed?

Photo credit: Jenavieve on FlickrEvery once in a while, I fall into the trap of loving my characters too much. By this I don't mean that I don't put them through hell twice-over—I can't think of a single manuscript where that was a problem for me *insert evil smiley face*—instead, I mean sometimes I forget about something rather important: flaws.

More times than not, this happens for secondary characters—the best friend, the love interest, the people that, for all intents and purposes, you're supposed to love. Sometimes, for these characters, I do such a great job making them lovable that I forget they're not actually supposed to be perfect until a reader pokes me and asks what their flaw is and I can't answer.

Whenever this happens, I open up my copy of The Negative Trait Thesaurus  by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi (the geniuses behind The Emotion Thesaurus ). It has an enormously long list of possible character flaws, with descriptions of each flaw, what causes it, what it may lead to, etc. which often helps inspire me when it comes to developing flaws that make sense for the character.

And that is the key there: the flaw should fit organically into your character so that it doesn't feel tacked on or ill-fitting. It wouldn't make sense, for example, for Sherlock Holmes to be obtuse or not think through his actions—but his arrogance and bluntness definitely makes sense for who he is.

It's definitely important to remember flaws when creating characters, because characters without them start to feel too perfect—and consequently too unrealistic—if you're not careful. And besides, a character well-balanced with flaws can create new opportunities for tension and conflict, which is always a pretty nice bonus.

What are some of your favorite flawed characters?

Twitter-sized bite: 

Are your characters flawed? @Ava_Jae talks the importance of balanced character development. (Click to tweet)

Discussion: Will You NaNo This Year?

Photo credit: Kwintin on FlickrThere are ten days left before NaNoWriMo (and ten days left to implement pre-NaNo tips)! Which is pretty incredible to think about, and a little intimidating, and also exciting because NaNoWriMo is nearly here!

I finished revising my WIP and sent it off this week, which means I've met my deadline with time to spare, which means NaNoWriMo is in my future this year! YAY! I'm really excited to dive into the new story world and play with third person, which I haven't done in ages, and just feed off the NaNo excitement in general. It's been a great experience when I participated in the past, and I very much look forward to it again. Which also means I should probably start figuring out the last-minute details of the WIP I'll be working on...

So this is a short and fun post just to officially say yes, I do plan to participate this year, and I think it'd be fun for people to connect with other NaNo-ers here on the blog so time for a shout out— who else will be participating this year? (And feel free to add me as a NaNo buddy!)

Twitter-sized bite: 

Are you participating in #NaNoWriMo this year? Join the discussion and make NaNo buddies on @Ava_Jae's blog. (Click to tweet)

Fixing the First Page #28!

Photo credit: Clara T S H on FlickrI was pretty stunned to realize this week we're already halfway through October, which means November is almost here, which means NaNoWriMo is nearing and, happily, it's time for the twenty-eighth Fixing the First Page feature!

For those who’ve missed before, the Fixing the First Page features is a public first 250 word critique. Using the lovely rafflecopter widget, anyone interested in winning a public (as in, featured in a post on this blog) first page critique can enter.

For an example of what this critique will look like, here's the last Fixing the First Page post.

Rules!

ONLY the first 250 words will be critiqued (up to finishing the sentence). If you win and send me more, I will crop it myself. No exceptions.
ONLY the first page. I don’t want 250 random words from your manuscript, or from chapter 3. If you win the critique and send me anything other than the first 250 words of your manuscript, I will choose someone else.
I will actually critique it. Here. On the blog. I will say things as nicely as I can, but I do tend to be a little blunt. If you’re not sure you can handle a public critique, then you may want to take some time to think about it before you enter.
Genre restrictions. I'm most experienced with YA & NA, but I will still accept MG and Adult. HOWEVER. If your first page has any erotic content on it, I ask that you don’t enter. I want to be able to post the critique and the first 250 in its entirety without making anyone uncomfortable, and if you win and you enter a page with erotic content, I will choose someone else.
You must have your first page ready. Should you win, you need to be able to submit your first page within 48 hours of my contacting you to let you know you won. If 48 hours pass and I haven’t heard from you, again, I will choose someone else.
You’ll get the most out of this if it isn’t a first draft. Obviously, I have no way of knowing if you’re handing me a first draft (though I will probably suspect because it’s usually not that difficult to tell). I won’t refuse your page if it’s a first draft, but you should know that this critique will likely be of more use if you’ve already had your betas/CPs look over it. Why? Because if you don’t, the critique I give you will probably contain a lot of notes that your betas & CPs could have/would have told you.
There will not be a round 2 (unless you win again in a future contest). I hate to have to say this, but if you win a critique, it’s NOT an invitation to send me a bunch of your revisions. I wish I had the time available to be able to look at revisions, but sadly, I don’t. If you try to break this rule, I will nicely say no, and also remember to choose someone else should you win a second contest. Which would make me sad. :(
So that’s it! If you’re okay with all of the above and would like to enter to be the twenty-second public critique on Writability, do the thing with the rafflecopter widget below. You have until Monday, October 24 at 11:59 EST to enter!


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Vlog: 4 Common Query Mistakes

So you've written your manuscript, revised it death, traded with critique partners, revised it again, and now you're ready to query. But before you start, make sure you aren't making any of these four common query mistakes.


RELATED LINKS: 

On Querying (YouTube playlist)5 Things You Don't Need In Your QueryQuery & Pitch Tip: DetailsLooking Back: BEYOND THE RED's QuerySo Your Manuscript is Ready...But is Your Query?Should You Query That New Agent?Query Research Red Flags: When NOT to Submit
Have you made any of these query mistakes? (I know I sure have!)
Twitter-sized bite: 

Getting ready to query? Make sure you don't make any of these common query mistakes. #vlog (Click to tweet)

We Don't Live in a Bubble

Photo credit: jamelah on FlickrI've been thinking a lot lately how what's going on in politics, especially in the US, is trickling down to every other area of life. Many of us have acknowledged long before now that this isn't an ordinary election season. One candidate in particular has negatively changed the discourse on the national level. Time and time again he's broken what's expected from candidates—that they aren't overtly racist or misogynist, that they aren't mired in fraud and sex scandals, that they will respect the rules of political discourse and expectations.

We've accepted nationally that this isn't like every other elections. "This isn't politics as usual," Michelle Obama said in her speech last week. This isn't normal.

So unlike previous elections, this one has seeped into everything, because the truth is this: we don't live in a bubble.

From authors speaking openly about politics in a way that was never necessary before. From heated Twitter discussions centered around issues reflected in the election debate, about race, about sexism, about women and AFAB people having boundaries crossed by men they respected or trusted. On and on the echoes crash into us, like inevitable ocean waves.

While I was first drafting over the summer, I'd quietly acknowledged to myself how fitting it was that I was writing a politically-focused book during such a politically-fraught time. Of course, the politics aren't exactly the same—one set of politics is completely fictionalized and created in the context of the book world, but many of the themes still resonated: from racial oppression, to a movement against progress, to queer acceptance (and not) especially in religious spaces.

It wasn't until a reader recently pointed out a specific passage in my WIP, however, that I realized just how closely some of the politics mirrored each other—and in retrospect, I'm not surprised. With a conflict so centered and real, affecting so many in their everyday lives and with the potential to affect so many more should the election go one way or another, I expect to see books release in the next few years with echoes of the political landscape today. I'd be surprised if it didn't happen, really.

Sometimes we write to cope with things without realizing we're doing exactly that. Sometimes we write to examine feelings we aren't entirely sure how to express. Sometimes we write to catch the overflow of life pouring endlessly into us even after—especially after—we've hit a limit.

We don't live in a bubble and I can't say I'm surprised to see national discourse echoing in publishing, in bookish Twitter, in thousands of little ways in people's lives every day. With an election as important, and dangerous, and scary as this one, for those who live in the US (and honestly, for many who don't) the echoes are nearly impossible to avoid.

We don't live in a bubble, and whatever happens on November 8th, I'm sure we'll be seeing repercussions of this election for years to come.

Twitter-sized bite:

Author @Ava_Jae shares her thoughts on how current political discourse echoes in other areas of life—and writing. (Click to tweet)