Terry Odell's Blog, page 255
April 5, 2012
Left Coast Crime - Highlights
What I'm reading: Out of Range, by C.J. Box; Undercover in High Heels, by Gemma Halliday (Nook); Come and Find Me, by Hallie Ephron (bike)
Last weekend, I attended my second Left Coast Crime conference, held in Sacramento, California. Although some might have grumbled about the rainy weather, when I go to a conference, I expect to be attending sessions during the scheduled event, not sightseeing, so it didn't bother me at all. (Not enough time to extend the trip, so it was conference-only for me)
The first workshop I attended was on e-publishing. It was a two-session presentation, but I could only stay for the first part. Sadly, the presenter had a lot to learn about creating Power Point slides that people behind the first row could see. Also, she publishes exclusively at Amazon, so her data were skewed and didn't really give a decent overview of so many more options available to those who want to go indie. However, I don't know what she covered in the second hour, so perhaps she did expand the horizons.
The second hour, I was lured to a panel on "Breaking the Rules" because Dr. Doug Lyle is always good for a laugh. The topics touched upon characters who do things their own way, and what the author can do to make them credible. Those in licensed professions have rules and standards they must follow. Dr. Lyle mentioned that he wanted his character outside of the medical profession, so he never finished medical school. This freed him from having to follow the rules.
Friday highlights included a panel on the pros and cons of using real places in stories. If you use a real setting, get it right, because readers will tell you that Main Street doesn't intersect with Maple Avenue. And, common sense also dictates that if you're going to set a scene in a restaurant, it's probably not smart to give your characters food poisoning.
Another interesting panel covered Publicity, Reviewing & Social Media. Panelists shared what's worked for them (or their clients), and pointed out that 30 minutes a day, in 10 minute intervals was enough time to spend with social networking. The new terms of service for Pinterest came up, and it was recommended as the new big thing. (I'm not going there yet). Social media should be used for name recognition, not promotion.
The panel given by law enforcement experts was most useful to me. They debunked a lot of the TV/Book/Movie myths. Pathologists don't go to crime scenes. The best tool a crime scene investigator can have is a flashlight, to provide oblique lighting. When asked about their favorite television shows or movies, almost everyone on the panel said they don't watch cop shows. They prefer comedy, although when pressed, they said Law and Order and Forensic Files were "acceptable." The rest relied on what they called, "Tricknology"
The best new investigative tool? Facebook. (So be careful what you put on your wall!)
In a related panel, a retired FBI agent pointed out that the FBI didn't get "computerized" until 1995. Prior to that, all records were kept in a huge room filled with filing cabinets, and the staff that worked there could locate anything you needed.
Dr. Lyle's pet peeves: the one-hit knockout punch (and even if you're lucky enough to knock out the bad guy, he'll only be out for a few seconds, and when he wakes up, he'll be MAD), and the one-shot kill. He's seen too many people with a dozen gunshot wounds still walking and talking. Especially if they're drunk. In fact, his comment was, "You can't kill a drunk."
After a discussion of fingerprints, Dr. Lyle said he was watching the arrival of a new identification system—the antibody profile. Everyone's will be different, although they will also change over time.
And of course, the Real Highlight of the conference was the panel on Sex in Mysteries. I shared the table with Allison Brennan and Deborah Coonts (and they brought a bottle of champagne, so tongues were loose!). Judging from those who approached me afterward, a good time was had by all.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
Last weekend, I attended my second Left Coast Crime conference, held in Sacramento, California. Although some might have grumbled about the rainy weather, when I go to a conference, I expect to be attending sessions during the scheduled event, not sightseeing, so it didn't bother me at all. (Not enough time to extend the trip, so it was conference-only for me)The first workshop I attended was on e-publishing. It was a two-session presentation, but I could only stay for the first part. Sadly, the presenter had a lot to learn about creating Power Point slides that people behind the first row could see. Also, she publishes exclusively at Amazon, so her data were skewed and didn't really give a decent overview of so many more options available to those who want to go indie. However, I don't know what she covered in the second hour, so perhaps she did expand the horizons.
The second hour, I was lured to a panel on "Breaking the Rules" because Dr. Doug Lyle is always good for a laugh. The topics touched upon characters who do things their own way, and what the author can do to make them credible. Those in licensed professions have rules and standards they must follow. Dr. Lyle mentioned that he wanted his character outside of the medical profession, so he never finished medical school. This freed him from having to follow the rules.
Friday highlights included a panel on the pros and cons of using real places in stories. If you use a real setting, get it right, because readers will tell you that Main Street doesn't intersect with Maple Avenue. And, common sense also dictates that if you're going to set a scene in a restaurant, it's probably not smart to give your characters food poisoning.
Another interesting panel covered Publicity, Reviewing & Social Media. Panelists shared what's worked for them (or their clients), and pointed out that 30 minutes a day, in 10 minute intervals was enough time to spend with social networking. The new terms of service for Pinterest came up, and it was recommended as the new big thing. (I'm not going there yet). Social media should be used for name recognition, not promotion.
The panel given by law enforcement experts was most useful to me. They debunked a lot of the TV/Book/Movie myths. Pathologists don't go to crime scenes. The best tool a crime scene investigator can have is a flashlight, to provide oblique lighting. When asked about their favorite television shows or movies, almost everyone on the panel said they don't watch cop shows. They prefer comedy, although when pressed, they said Law and Order and Forensic Files were "acceptable." The rest relied on what they called, "Tricknology"
The best new investigative tool? Facebook. (So be careful what you put on your wall!)
In a related panel, a retired FBI agent pointed out that the FBI didn't get "computerized" until 1995. Prior to that, all records were kept in a huge room filled with filing cabinets, and the staff that worked there could locate anything you needed.
Dr. Lyle's pet peeves: the one-hit knockout punch (and even if you're lucky enough to knock out the bad guy, he'll only be out for a few seconds, and when he wakes up, he'll be MAD), and the one-shot kill. He's seen too many people with a dozen gunshot wounds still walking and talking. Especially if they're drunk. In fact, his comment was, "You can't kill a drunk."
After a discussion of fingerprints, Dr. Lyle said he was watching the arrival of a new identification system—the antibody profile. Everyone's will be different, although they will also change over time.
And of course, the Real Highlight of the conference was the panel on Sex in Mysteries. I shared the table with Allison Brennan and Deborah Coonts (and they brought a bottle of champagne, so tongues were loose!). Judging from those who approached me afterward, a good time was had by all.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
April 4, 2012
What's Cooking Wednesday - White Chili
Since it snowed all day yesterday, a hearty crock pot recipe seemed appropriate. I originally shared this back in 2010, before I'd started my What's Cooking Wednesday series. Hope nobody minds. (And if you do, send me one of your favorite recipes!)
White Chili
Ingredients
1 medium sized onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 t ground cumin
2 whole large chicken breasts, skinless, boneless, and cut into 1 inch chunks (If you prefer vegetarian, just leave this out)
1 can (15-19 oz) white kidney beans (cannellini), drained
1 can (15 1/2 -19 oz) garbanzo beans, drained
1 can (12 oz) white corn, drained
2 cans (4 oz) chopped green chiles
1 1/2 - 2 cups chicken broth (Vegetable broth if you're going the veggie route)
Instructions
Stick everything in the pot.
When chicken is tender, it's done. Adjust liquid to taste.
To serve, stir in some hot pepper sauce, to taste, if desired.
Add 1 c. shredded Monterrey Jack cheese; garnish with parsley.
And, for those celebrating Passover, Janet Rudolph has a flourless chocolate cake receipe on her blog. Check it out.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
White Chili
Ingredients
1 medium sized onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 t ground cumin
2 whole large chicken breasts, skinless, boneless, and cut into 1 inch chunks (If you prefer vegetarian, just leave this out)
1 can (15-19 oz) white kidney beans (cannellini), drained
1 can (15 1/2 -19 oz) garbanzo beans, drained
1 can (12 oz) white corn, drained
2 cans (4 oz) chopped green chiles
1 1/2 - 2 cups chicken broth (Vegetable broth if you're going the veggie route)
Instructions
Stick everything in the pot.
When chicken is tender, it's done. Adjust liquid to taste.
To serve, stir in some hot pepper sauce, to taste, if desired.
Add 1 c. shredded Monterrey Jack cheese; garnish with parsley.
And, for those celebrating Passover, Janet Rudolph has a flourless chocolate cake receipe on her blog. Check it out.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
April 3, 2012
What's Behind the Big Ears?
Today, as proof that my blog guests aren't restricted to writing about writing, I welcome Georgiana Hall to Terry's Place, with a post that fits right in with Easter. Georgiana (G.G. Hall) is the author of "Hershey-A Tale of a Curious House Rabbit," which is based on the antics of her own rabbits, especially one named Hershey. Georgiana is a volunteer and educator for the House Rabbit Society, an international organization dedicated to education about rabbit ownership and to rescue efforts. She and her husband Oren Maxwell are both physicists at Florida International University in Miami, Florida. They share their home with four birds and six rescued rabbits.
The other day, a good friend of mine passed away. She was brown and furry, had lopped ears, and weighed about 2 pounds. She was a rabbit named Muffin and was adopted from a shelter 6 years ago. Muffin lived quite the good life, dining on organic greens and herbs, high quality rabbit pellets, and Nebraska hay. She shared a large exercise pen in our family room with her rabbit companion, Peanut, and even had daily supervised runs in the living room. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Yes, she truly lived "the life of Riley," as the saying goes. But, unfortunately, her life was the exception to that which many a pet rabbit is subjected to.
Every year, people buy rabbits as presents for young children, very often at Easter. These soft, furry creatures, with their large ears and round, curious eyes, melt many hearts. What could be more pleasurable than petting the warm, silky fur of a little rabbit? After all, they are cuddly, eat carrots, and don't make a lot of noise, right? Well, sort of. But the problem with the adorable little rabbit as a pet is that it is often quickly forgotten about. It lives out a brief life in a little cage or in an outdoor hutch, chewing on strange smelling pellets and probably too many carrots.
Many of these pet rabbits die within six months as a result of a poor diet and unhealthy conditions. Others suffer injuries from being handled incorrectly, often by a small child, who unknowingly squeezes them too tightly. Or, they may be injured by someone picking them up by their long, sensitive ears. If its back is not supported while picking it up, "Fluffy" may kick out his hind legs and injure his spine. He may also grow to a large size and no longer have the cute appeal that he once had. When he finally matures to an adult and his hormones rage, that sweet little rabbit may turn into a "furry Godzilla" by biting his owners or spraying and pooping wherever he pleases to establish territory.
Unfortunately, at this point, the cuddly rabbit that everyone loved and adored at first may face a tragic end. These rabbits are often dumped outdoors or in local parks or abandoned to an animal shelter.
But, there is a bright side to all of this. With proper education, rabbit owners can have a wonderful pet for many years. Rabbits are intelligent, fun-loving, and come in all shapes and sizes. They can be litter-trained, spayed or neutered, and taught to respond to vocal commands.
Although carrots are a favored treat, they should by no means be a major part of "Fluffy's" diet. Many responsible rabbit owners remark that the produce drawer in their refrigerator is filled with healthy greens and herbs, both wonderful for us and for the rabbit in the house. But certainly, the most important food of all for these herbivores is hay. There are websites devoted to selling different types. And by no means is the pile of hay in "Fluffy's" home just for chewing and savoring, but can even be a good resting spot when the mood strikes!
Thousands of rabbits across the nation sit in shelters waiting for homes. In fact, the third most abandoned animal at shelters is the rabbit, after cats and dogs. These shelter rabbits are healthy, spayed or neutered, and most likely litter-trained as well. Given the responsibility and complexity of these lovely animals, perhaps the chocolate Easter bunny or even a toy stuffed one is truly the better choice for a child in the family. However, if a rabbit is the desired pet, then hopefully the potential owner will first consider their needs and then consider giving a rescue a second chance.
For more, visit G.G.'s website, www.gghall.com to learn more about rabbits and the book. It is available as a paperback and an e-book on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. If you are interested in finding out more about adopting a rescued rabbit, please feel free to contact her at hersheytherabbit@gmail.com
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
The other day, a good friend of mine passed away. She was brown and furry, had lopped ears, and weighed about 2 pounds. She was a rabbit named Muffin and was adopted from a shelter 6 years ago. Muffin lived quite the good life, dining on organic greens and herbs, high quality rabbit pellets, and Nebraska hay. She shared a large exercise pen in our family room with her rabbit companion, Peanut, and even had daily supervised runs in the living room. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Yes, she truly lived "the life of Riley," as the saying goes. But, unfortunately, her life was the exception to that which many a pet rabbit is subjected to.
Every year, people buy rabbits as presents for young children, very often at Easter. These soft, furry creatures, with their large ears and round, curious eyes, melt many hearts. What could be more pleasurable than petting the warm, silky fur of a little rabbit? After all, they are cuddly, eat carrots, and don't make a lot of noise, right? Well, sort of. But the problem with the adorable little rabbit as a pet is that it is often quickly forgotten about. It lives out a brief life in a little cage or in an outdoor hutch, chewing on strange smelling pellets and probably too many carrots.
Many of these pet rabbits die within six months as a result of a poor diet and unhealthy conditions. Others suffer injuries from being handled incorrectly, often by a small child, who unknowingly squeezes them too tightly. Or, they may be injured by someone picking them up by their long, sensitive ears. If its back is not supported while picking it up, "Fluffy" may kick out his hind legs and injure his spine. He may also grow to a large size and no longer have the cute appeal that he once had. When he finally matures to an adult and his hormones rage, that sweet little rabbit may turn into a "furry Godzilla" by biting his owners or spraying and pooping wherever he pleases to establish territory.
Unfortunately, at this point, the cuddly rabbit that everyone loved and adored at first may face a tragic end. These rabbits are often dumped outdoors or in local parks or abandoned to an animal shelter.
But, there is a bright side to all of this. With proper education, rabbit owners can have a wonderful pet for many years. Rabbits are intelligent, fun-loving, and come in all shapes and sizes. They can be litter-trained, spayed or neutered, and taught to respond to vocal commands.
Although carrots are a favored treat, they should by no means be a major part of "Fluffy's" diet. Many responsible rabbit owners remark that the produce drawer in their refrigerator is filled with healthy greens and herbs, both wonderful for us and for the rabbit in the house. But certainly, the most important food of all for these herbivores is hay. There are websites devoted to selling different types. And by no means is the pile of hay in "Fluffy's" home just for chewing and savoring, but can even be a good resting spot when the mood strikes!
Thousands of rabbits across the nation sit in shelters waiting for homes. In fact, the third most abandoned animal at shelters is the rabbit, after cats and dogs. These shelter rabbits are healthy, spayed or neutered, and most likely litter-trained as well. Given the responsibility and complexity of these lovely animals, perhaps the chocolate Easter bunny or even a toy stuffed one is truly the better choice for a child in the family. However, if a rabbit is the desired pet, then hopefully the potential owner will first consider their needs and then consider giving a rescue a second chance.
For more, visit G.G.'s website, www.gghall.com to learn more about rabbits and the book. It is available as a paperback and an e-book on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. If you are interested in finding out more about adopting a rescued rabbit, please feel free to contact her at hersheytherabbit@gmail.com
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
April 2, 2012
Nook First - Week 1
I thought I'd report on my first week's experiences with the Nook First program. Overall, I'm absolutely thrilled that I was able to participate. A brief recap:
The Nook First program includes a variety of marketing promotions on the part of Barnes & Noble. (Note: this is the current program; things might change down the line.) Your book is on the home page, on a special "Nook First" page, and there are email blasts to Nook owners and to everyone who's bought one of your books through Barnes & Noble. Needless to say, you can't get this kind of attention on your own. Not without major effort and expense.
Your book is not free. The minimum price is $2.99. Your book appears with 3 others on the Nook First home page for two weeks, and shows up in "new releases" in whatever genre(s) you've selected when you uploaded the book. So, there's good visibility all over the Barnes & Noble website. And, if your book climbs in the rankings, it'll be in even more places.
The conditions: the book must be a first time digital release, and you have to keep it exclusive to the Nook store for 30 days. After that, you're free to publish it elsewhere. My reasoning in applying for this program was that my Pine Hills Police series wasn't selling particularly well anywhere, so publishing SAVING SCOTT, the new book in the series as a Nook First, might draw attention to the rest of the series. Also, my other promo and marketing efforts seem to target the same general audience.
Did it work?
Based on the first week, YES.
Below is a chart showing my overall results for the first week of Nook First. For reference, until March 19th, the first day of SAVING SCOTT'S promotion, I'd sold a total of 135 books total for March at B&N. Six of them were SAVING SCOTT, which I uploaded a few days before my March 19th start date. On day 1 of Nook First, I sold 53. (Clicking should enlarge the image)
There are those who have argued that since only a small percentage of their sales come from B&N, Apple, Sony, or other e-tailers, they're sticking all their eggs into Amazon's basket. However, during the first week of my Nook First gig, I saw higher sales of all my other titles at Amazon as well. So, I haven't hurt my sales at Amazon, and instead, have added a whole bunch (I hope) of new readers, thanks to the promo by B&N.
On its second day, SAVING SCOTT broke into the top 100 best sellers in the Nook Store. Later that week, it climbed to the #15 slot. Note: right now, the best-seller lists are full of the Hunger Games and 50 Shades of Grey series books, so even coming close to the top 10 is nothing short of miraculous for an unheard of author.
But, even better, is that I saw sales rise across the board. FINDING SARAH, the first book in the Pine Hills Police series had never sold more than 10 copies in a day. Here's what happened during week 1 of Nook First for SAVING SCOTT:
Another surprise: WHEN DANGER CALLS also showed a sales jump. (This is one of my best-sellers at Amazon, but never did much at B&N)
As a matter of fact, WHEN DANGER CALLS, which isn't even part of the Pine Hills Police series, made the top 100. Having two titles in the top 100 is something I never dreamed of.
And, let's be realistic. I made more money in this one week than I've made in YEARS of my writing "career." Seeing daily sales totals add up to more than I usually make in a month at Amazon definitely makes me give this project a big thumbs up.
If you've ever thought about buying a cute little bunny for your family for Easter (or know someone who might), you'll want to check in tomorrow for my guest, G.G. Hall's post.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.
March 30, 2012
Friday Field Trip - Farmers Market, LA California
The day after Nicole ran the LA Marathon, we went to a favorite childhood haunt of mine, the Farmers Market. A lot has changed (when I was a kid, it was truly a "farmers market",) but it still evokes great memories. Here are some snapshots from our stroll.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
March 29, 2012
Sex and the Badge
Reminder: Last chance to sign up for my newsletter. I'm mailing it as soon as I get back from Left Coast Crime.
Since I'm on the road and more or less off the grid until Tuesday, I thought I'd repeat a popular post from the annals of Homicide Hussey. Once again, I'm part of the "sex" panel at Left Coast Crime. This post appeared last year while I was at Left Coast Crime, so it seemed fitting to repeat it here.
I grew up in a relatively conservative community in West Orange County, Florida, outside of Orlando. It was an area that prior to 1971, when the Walt Disney Company invaded the area, was a quiet, southern, almost backwards place. When I was in high school, sex consisted of maybe some light petting, through the clothing, and a lot of fantasizing. So when I went out into the world and became a cop, I was again shocked when I encountered some of the ways people amuse and abuse themselves -- get off, as it were.
I promised the guys when I started this book that I wouldn't go into too much detail about the sexual exploits of the boys in blue. Suffice it to say that there were always girls around, literally hanging around the police station, drooling at a chance to hook up with a Lakeland cop. Also suffice to say that the "ladies" were never disappointed, no matter what they looked like. There was always someone willing, if not when sober, then after a couple of beers, to satisfy a cop groupie.
Most of those situations, however, were "relatively" normal. Cops are known to be kinky but not perverted.
The difference, an old cop once told me is this: "Kinky" involves the use of a feather during a sexual encounter. A "pervert" uses the whole chicken. I met a lot of chicken users over the years.
In 1980 I got a call that there was a suspicious person parked at the rear of Vito's Restaurant on South Florida Avenue. The vehicle was described as a late model, dark blue Cadillac. The car was parked with all four windows down and occupied by a white male. When I pulled my cruiser into the alley, I killed the lights and coasted to stop behind the car. I radioed headquarters and told them I had the vehicle and that indeed a white male appeared to be occupying the front seat. As I got out, though, it struck me funny that the guy just wasn't right. I saw the guys head, as he was sitting in the front seat, but there were legs and feet on each side of his head. It looked like he was having sex, but he was not moving. It was weird.
"Get out of the car," I said into the PA mike.
"I can't," yelled a voice from inside the car.
I switched the federal system over to radio and asked dispatch to send me a backup. "10-4," the radio crackled.
I didn't wait long. Officer Mike Brand rolled into the lot and grumbled something as he got out of the car. Mike, or "Brand-X", as he was nicknamed, was a great cop. He was large-framed and talked very softly. He was always good for a dry, one liner. He would be quiet for a long time, then say something profound and funny as all hell.
"Hey Mike." I said as he walked up.
"What ya got?"
"I'm not sure what's up. It's just weird."
"Let's do it," Mike said with a sigh.
He un-holstered his revolver and held it next to his right leg as we walked up to the car. I took the driver's side, being careful to look into the stream of light provided by my flashlight, for any movement that might put myself or my partner in danger. As I got around to the open window, I was not prepared for the sight that would meet my eyes.
Steven Ziegler was a 38 year old stockbroker, with an iron deficiency and male pattern baldness. His alabaster body had not seen sunlight for years. Mr. Zeigler was about 5'6" tall but at the moment, was about 2 feet tall. He was nude, and contorted like a pretzel, with his body lodged between the front seat and the steering wheel. His knees were pushed up around his shoulders, with his feet resting on the ceiling of the car. His limp penis was resting along side his cheek.
"What the fuck are you doing!" I screamed.
He tried to turn his head but was unable to. "I could lie to you Officer, but what would be the point? I was drinking at the "Office Lounge" and got a little excited. Of course I struck out with the ladies so when this guy leaned over to me and said, 'don't you wish you could suck your own dick, we wouldn't need to hunt these bitches,' I got an idea."
"What was the idea?" I asked as I looked into the incredulous face of Brand-x.
"You know, do myself."
I felt sick, as I understood what he was talking about. My veteran partner asked matter-of-factly, "Well did it work?"
"Hell yes, I've always been wiry," he exclaimed proudly. "It worked, that is, until I tried to get outta' this seat. It locked up on me."
"Are you a spitter or a swallower?" Mike continued dryly.
"Oh man" I thought.
Mike and I tried everything we could think of to get the electric seats of the Cadillac freed up, in order to release the Uni-dater. As the extrication attempts continued, the curious onlookers, mostly other cops, began to arrive. As each new participant came on the scene, he was told through hysterical laughter, the tale of the "self-help" stockbroker. Thank God it was four o'clock in the morning, or the gawkers would have been more numerous. Finally, we had to call the fire department and get their Hurst tool (jaws of life) to break the car seat loose from its moorings. Officer George Kistner, who held the department record for marriages and divorces at six, said thoughtfully, he wished he had learned to do it long ago, as it would have saved him a lot of money.
When Mr. Zeigler was finally released, he gingerly unfolded his contorted body and stood up, stretching his neck from side to side. As he got dressed, a discussion developed as to what he should be charged with. We settled on indecent exposure since there were no other persons involved.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
Since I'm on the road and more or less off the grid until Tuesday, I thought I'd repeat a popular post from the annals of Homicide Hussey. Once again, I'm part of the "sex" panel at Left Coast Crime. This post appeared last year while I was at Left Coast Crime, so it seemed fitting to repeat it here.
I grew up in a relatively conservative community in West Orange County, Florida, outside of Orlando. It was an area that prior to 1971, when the Walt Disney Company invaded the area, was a quiet, southern, almost backwards place. When I was in high school, sex consisted of maybe some light petting, through the clothing, and a lot of fantasizing. So when I went out into the world and became a cop, I was again shocked when I encountered some of the ways people amuse and abuse themselves -- get off, as it were.I promised the guys when I started this book that I wouldn't go into too much detail about the sexual exploits of the boys in blue. Suffice it to say that there were always girls around, literally hanging around the police station, drooling at a chance to hook up with a Lakeland cop. Also suffice to say that the "ladies" were never disappointed, no matter what they looked like. There was always someone willing, if not when sober, then after a couple of beers, to satisfy a cop groupie.
Most of those situations, however, were "relatively" normal. Cops are known to be kinky but not perverted.
The difference, an old cop once told me is this: "Kinky" involves the use of a feather during a sexual encounter. A "pervert" uses the whole chicken. I met a lot of chicken users over the years.
In 1980 I got a call that there was a suspicious person parked at the rear of Vito's Restaurant on South Florida Avenue. The vehicle was described as a late model, dark blue Cadillac. The car was parked with all four windows down and occupied by a white male. When I pulled my cruiser into the alley, I killed the lights and coasted to stop behind the car. I radioed headquarters and told them I had the vehicle and that indeed a white male appeared to be occupying the front seat. As I got out, though, it struck me funny that the guy just wasn't right. I saw the guys head, as he was sitting in the front seat, but there were legs and feet on each side of his head. It looked like he was having sex, but he was not moving. It was weird.
"Get out of the car," I said into the PA mike.
"I can't," yelled a voice from inside the car.
I switched the federal system over to radio and asked dispatch to send me a backup. "10-4," the radio crackled.
I didn't wait long. Officer Mike Brand rolled into the lot and grumbled something as he got out of the car. Mike, or "Brand-X", as he was nicknamed, was a great cop. He was large-framed and talked very softly. He was always good for a dry, one liner. He would be quiet for a long time, then say something profound and funny as all hell.
"Hey Mike." I said as he walked up.
"What ya got?"
"I'm not sure what's up. It's just weird."
"Let's do it," Mike said with a sigh.
He un-holstered his revolver and held it next to his right leg as we walked up to the car. I took the driver's side, being careful to look into the stream of light provided by my flashlight, for any movement that might put myself or my partner in danger. As I got around to the open window, I was not prepared for the sight that would meet my eyes.
Steven Ziegler was a 38 year old stockbroker, with an iron deficiency and male pattern baldness. His alabaster body had not seen sunlight for years. Mr. Zeigler was about 5'6" tall but at the moment, was about 2 feet tall. He was nude, and contorted like a pretzel, with his body lodged between the front seat and the steering wheel. His knees were pushed up around his shoulders, with his feet resting on the ceiling of the car. His limp penis was resting along side his cheek.
"What the fuck are you doing!" I screamed.
He tried to turn his head but was unable to. "I could lie to you Officer, but what would be the point? I was drinking at the "Office Lounge" and got a little excited. Of course I struck out with the ladies so when this guy leaned over to me and said, 'don't you wish you could suck your own dick, we wouldn't need to hunt these bitches,' I got an idea."
"What was the idea?" I asked as I looked into the incredulous face of Brand-x.
"You know, do myself."
I felt sick, as I understood what he was talking about. My veteran partner asked matter-of-factly, "Well did it work?"
"Hell yes, I've always been wiry," he exclaimed proudly. "It worked, that is, until I tried to get outta' this seat. It locked up on me."
"Are you a spitter or a swallower?" Mike continued dryly.
"Oh man" I thought.
Mike and I tried everything we could think of to get the electric seats of the Cadillac freed up, in order to release the Uni-dater. As the extrication attempts continued, the curious onlookers, mostly other cops, began to arrive. As each new participant came on the scene, he was told through hysterical laughter, the tale of the "self-help" stockbroker. Thank God it was four o'clock in the morning, or the gawkers would have been more numerous. Finally, we had to call the fire department and get their Hurst tool (jaws of life) to break the car seat loose from its moorings. Officer George Kistner, who held the department record for marriages and divorces at six, said thoughtfully, he wished he had learned to do it long ago, as it would have saved him a lot of money.
When Mr. Zeigler was finally released, he gingerly unfolded his contorted body and stood up, stretching his neck from side to side. As he got dressed, a discussion developed as to what he should be charged with. We settled on indecent exposure since there were no other persons involved.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
March 28, 2012
What's Cooking Wednesday - Double Chocolate Cream Cheese Brownies
Ashely Eagan, the heroine of SAVING SCOTT is trying to open her new bakery. One of the major plot threads is a brownie bakeoff. Since Ashley spends a lot of time cooking in the book, I included a number of recipes of things she baked. And I recruited a lot of help with these recipes. The recipe for the grand prize winner of Ashley's bakeoff was provided by fellow author, blogger, and chocolate diva, Janet Rudolph, who gave me permission to share it here.Double Chocolate Cream Cheese Brownies Janet Rudolph www.dyingforchocolate.com
Brownies
1/2 cup sweet butter, room temperature
4 ounces high quality dark chocolate (60-75% cacao, fair-trade), coarsely chopped
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon Madagascar vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/2 cup all purpose flour
Pinch of Salt
1/2 cup dark high quality dark chocolate (65-75% cacao, fair-trade), chopped into smallish chunks (or chocolate chips)
Cream Cheese Layer
8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon Madagascar vanilla extract
1 large egg
Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
1. Line 9 x 9 inch square baking pan with aluminum foil across the bottom and up two opposite sides of pan.
2. In top of double boiler, or saucepan over a saucepan of simmering water, melt butter with chocolate.
3. Remove from heat and stir in sugar and vanilla.
4. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each with a spoon.
5. Stir in flour and salt and beat until batter is smooth and glossy (about a minute).
6. Remove 1/2 cup of brownie batter and set aside.
7. Fold Chocolate Chunks into remainder of brownie batter.
8. Pour batter evenly into bottom of prepared pan.
9. Using mixer, whip cream cheese until smooth. Add sugar, vanilla, and egg and process just until smooth.
10. Spread cream cheese mixture over brownie layer.
11. Spoon small clumps of reserved brownie batter on top of the cream cheese filling.
12. With knife, swirl two batters without mixing them (don't overswirl).
13. Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes or until brownies start to pull away from sides of pan and edges just begin to brown.
14. Remove from oven and place on wire rack to cool.
15. Refrigerate brownies until firm enough to cut into squares (two hours).
16. Remove brownies from pan by lifting ends of aluminum foil and transfer to cutting board. Cut into squares.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
March 27, 2012
Finding Ireland
Today I welcome Susannah Sharp to Terry's Place. Susannah is trying hard to get motivated to finish the revisions on her first novel, "I Am of Ireland: Saving Loarlis," a contemporary romance set in Ireland and the first of a series that will alternate between contemporary and historical novels in the same setting. She is a medical transcriptionist by profession and lives in Utah with her husband and the youngest of their three children.
How do you take a city, or even worse, a country and distill all of its history, its culture, its beauty, down to just a few powerful images and then try to share it in words with other people?
This is a question I have been struggling with ever since I started working on my series of novels, and believe me when I say that has been a long time and is still an ongoing effort.
I am getting close to publishing the first novel in an entire series set in County Cavan in Ireland. I absolutely adore Ireland and have been blessed in my life to be able to get there three times (so far!) from my home in Utah. But I'm not Irish and my combined total of a few weeks staying there hardly qualifies me as an expert. Still, though, I want to give as authentic feeling as possible when I write my books. I want people who read my books to believe they're there. I want them to be transported. I want them to breathe deeply and smell the countryside, even if they're sitting in an apartment in Ohio.
All authors face this struggle, though, whether they are writing about their own neighborhood or whether they are writing a novel set in a fictional universe a thousand years from now. We have to bring the setting to life; we have to bring our readers in.
I certainly don't claim to have all the answers, but I will share with you a few of the things I've done to attempt this with my own setting.
First. Go there. I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful husband who, on our last visit to Ireland, arranged for us to stay in County Cavan for two days. We walked the streets, ate in the restaurants, walked through the Irish rain to see landmarks, visited the County museum, etc., etc. We didn't just soak in the atmosphere, though. We videotaped everything and collected all sorts of brochures and pictures. All of those things will eventually find their way into my books, I expect. Now it may not always be possible to visit your location, either because it doesn't exist or because of limited finances. But you can still try to get a feeling for it by going to a similar location.
Go sit in the hot sun in a nearby desert, or walk down the streets in a small town not too far from where you live. Eat something your character would love. Climb a mountain in the fog, dip your toe into an icy river. Ride a horse or milk a cow. Each time you are able to do something that you can drag into your story, record all of your impressions either on tape or on paper. How did you feel? How did things taste? How did things smell? Use all your mad ninja writing skills to truly capture every detail of those moments, so that you can recall them again when you need to.
Second, do your research. Just because you can't transport yourself magically to ancient Egypt, doesn't mean you can't find out anything about it. There are countless books written about every country in the world, their history, their current situation, their people, and their food. There are travelogues as well as nonfiction analyses available. Nonfiction about your setting should become your reading of choice during that part of the writing process.
Lastly, make a list of things you especially want to discuss in your novel and then do the best you can to practically become an expert about them. In my case, my novels are set in an ancient castle, so I have made a serious effort to learn everything I can about castles built at the time period when mine was started. I'm Facebook friends with an ancient castle building site. I've got books, books, books. I've recorded shows off the History Channel about castles. This is above and beyond what I have done with my County Cavan setting. I need them both, but being able to write in a knowledgeable way about this made-up castle is a key to my readers believing it actually exists.
Distilling a huge complex setting into words you can include in a story or novel is not easy, but then that's why they pay you the big bucks, right? It can be done and it will really add a great deal to your work. I hope these suggestions have been helpful.
For more: Susannah blogs about romance, writing, reading, and all things Irish on susannahsharp.wordpress.com.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
How do you take a city, or even worse, a country and distill all of its history, its culture, its beauty, down to just a few powerful images and then try to share it in words with other people?
This is a question I have been struggling with ever since I started working on my series of novels, and believe me when I say that has been a long time and is still an ongoing effort.
I am getting close to publishing the first novel in an entire series set in County Cavan in Ireland. I absolutely adore Ireland and have been blessed in my life to be able to get there three times (so far!) from my home in Utah. But I'm not Irish and my combined total of a few weeks staying there hardly qualifies me as an expert. Still, though, I want to give as authentic feeling as possible when I write my books. I want people who read my books to believe they're there. I want them to be transported. I want them to breathe deeply and smell the countryside, even if they're sitting in an apartment in Ohio.
All authors face this struggle, though, whether they are writing about their own neighborhood or whether they are writing a novel set in a fictional universe a thousand years from now. We have to bring the setting to life; we have to bring our readers in.
I certainly don't claim to have all the answers, but I will share with you a few of the things I've done to attempt this with my own setting.
First. Go there. I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful husband who, on our last visit to Ireland, arranged for us to stay in County Cavan for two days. We walked the streets, ate in the restaurants, walked through the Irish rain to see landmarks, visited the County museum, etc., etc. We didn't just soak in the atmosphere, though. We videotaped everything and collected all sorts of brochures and pictures. All of those things will eventually find their way into my books, I expect. Now it may not always be possible to visit your location, either because it doesn't exist or because of limited finances. But you can still try to get a feeling for it by going to a similar location.
Go sit in the hot sun in a nearby desert, or walk down the streets in a small town not too far from where you live. Eat something your character would love. Climb a mountain in the fog, dip your toe into an icy river. Ride a horse or milk a cow. Each time you are able to do something that you can drag into your story, record all of your impressions either on tape or on paper. How did you feel? How did things taste? How did things smell? Use all your mad ninja writing skills to truly capture every detail of those moments, so that you can recall them again when you need to.
Second, do your research. Just because you can't transport yourself magically to ancient Egypt, doesn't mean you can't find out anything about it. There are countless books written about every country in the world, their history, their current situation, their people, and their food. There are travelogues as well as nonfiction analyses available. Nonfiction about your setting should become your reading of choice during that part of the writing process.
Lastly, make a list of things you especially want to discuss in your novel and then do the best you can to practically become an expert about them. In my case, my novels are set in an ancient castle, so I have made a serious effort to learn everything I can about castles built at the time period when mine was started. I'm Facebook friends with an ancient castle building site. I've got books, books, books. I've recorded shows off the History Channel about castles. This is above and beyond what I have done with my County Cavan setting. I need them both, but being able to write in a knowledgeable way about this made-up castle is a key to my readers believing it actually exists.
Distilling a huge complex setting into words you can include in a story or novel is not easy, but then that's why they pay you the big bucks, right? It can be done and it will really add a great deal to your work. I hope these suggestions have been helpful.
For more: Susannah blogs about romance, writing, reading, and all things Irish on susannahsharp.wordpress.com.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
March 26, 2012
Conference Tips
What I'm reading: Trophy Hunt, by C.J. Box; Wanna Get Lucky? by Deborah Coonts; Victims, by Jonathan Kellerman.
First -- I'm overwhelmed at the success of SAVING SCOTT at the
Nook Store
. I never dreamed of making the top 100 bestsellers, much less hitting #15. Hard to believe Scott was only a few books behind the Hunger Games and 50 Shades of Grey series. I'm humbled. The Nook First program and Barnes & Noble has been excellent, and I'll be reporting on my experiences.
Next: my Spring Newsletter is about ready to go. Make sure you're signed up at my website so you don't miss a chance for special offers.
I'm also busy ... last week was the trip to LA, and on Thursday, I'm leaving for Sacramento and the Left Coast Crime Conference. I'm rerunning the post I did last year about going to conferences. I think it's still timely.
Conferences are great ways to refuel. Writing is a solitary occupation, and sometimes we need to get out and among people who understand what it's like to have voices in your head. It's also a great opportunity to see how other people handle all the aspects of the craft. No two people do things the same way, and what works for one doesn't work for all. However, there's always a tidbit to be gleaned, and usually a way to adapt it for one's own writing process. Kind of like 3 days of blog-crawling, but with live people.
On that note, I'll share a few things I've learned from attending conferences, in no particular order of importance.
1. Have copies of your receipts. Nothing like finding out they've lost your registration or meal choices or room reservation to start things off on a stressful note. And, the way my life works, if you have them, you won't need them.
2. Bring your own tote if you have one. Although most conferences hand out tote bags, they all look alike. If you bring one from a different conference, you're less likely to have it picked up by mistake. (I also bring my own badge holder—the kind with compartments from another conference, just in case they give you a simple plastic one. This way, I've got a secure place for my badge, meal tickets, a little cash and other vitals—like bookmarks.)
3. Don't be afraid to meet people. It's not required that you travel with a glued-to-the-hip companion. Take an empty seat, smile, hand over your bookmark and introduce yourself. This is one place where there's an immediate conversation starter: "What do you write?" (Or, in the case of a readers' conference 'read'?)
4. Bring comfortable clothes, especially shoes. For whatever reason, romance conferences are the dressiest of any I attend, but I tend to be a middle-of-the-road dresser. You'll be doing a lot of sitting, and a lot of walking, depending on how far apart the meeting rooms are. Also, bring layers. Regardless of the outside temperatures, meeting rooms can be meat-locker cold or steamy hot.
5. Pace yourself. You're not obligated to participate in every single event. Take breaks. Hide in your room for an hour if you need to. I long ago stopped feeling guilty about crawling into bed with a book at a decent hour. I've also never (so far) come home sick from a conference.
6. Speaking of books…bring either a bigger suitcase than you need, or some other method of transporting books. Most conferences are heavy on giveaways—and then there's the inevitable bookstore and/or book signing. Another good reason to bring your own tote. Use the one they give you for books.
7. Budget. Long ago, when I traveled on my husband's per-diem, I learned how to save a few bucks. Think college dorm room. Almost all hotel rooms have coffee makers. They make hot water as well as coffee. There are all sorts of "just add boiling water" meal options out there. I'll have instant oatmeal in my room for breakfast. This saves getting dressed early and going downstairs to a crowded hotel restaurant and blowing way too much money on a simple meal. I'll carry snacks as well. I'm not one for huge lunches at home, so for conferences that serve a banquet meal at lunch—well, that's usually my dinner as well. A drink at the bar, maybe an appetizer or salad. No need for another huge and expensive meal. I can buy books with what I've saved.
8. Scope out the facilities. Find out-of-the-way restrooms. Most romance conference attendees are female. Some hotels will convert a men's room to a ladies' room, but don't count on it. Given short breaks between sessions and everyone on the same schedule, lines can get long.
9. Have fun.
Tomorrow, my guest is Susannah Sharp, and she's going to talk about how she researches setting for her books set in Ireland.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
First -- I'm overwhelmed at the success of SAVING SCOTT at the
Nook Store
. I never dreamed of making the top 100 bestsellers, much less hitting #15. Hard to believe Scott was only a few books behind the Hunger Games and 50 Shades of Grey series. I'm humbled. The Nook First program and Barnes & Noble has been excellent, and I'll be reporting on my experiences.Next: my Spring Newsletter is about ready to go. Make sure you're signed up at my website so you don't miss a chance for special offers.
I'm also busy ... last week was the trip to LA, and on Thursday, I'm leaving for Sacramento and the Left Coast Crime Conference. I'm rerunning the post I did last year about going to conferences. I think it's still timely.
Conferences are great ways to refuel. Writing is a solitary occupation, and sometimes we need to get out and among people who understand what it's like to have voices in your head. It's also a great opportunity to see how other people handle all the aspects of the craft. No two people do things the same way, and what works for one doesn't work for all. However, there's always a tidbit to be gleaned, and usually a way to adapt it for one's own writing process. Kind of like 3 days of blog-crawling, but with live people.
On that note, I'll share a few things I've learned from attending conferences, in no particular order of importance.
1. Have copies of your receipts. Nothing like finding out they've lost your registration or meal choices or room reservation to start things off on a stressful note. And, the way my life works, if you have them, you won't need them.
2. Bring your own tote if you have one. Although most conferences hand out tote bags, they all look alike. If you bring one from a different conference, you're less likely to have it picked up by mistake. (I also bring my own badge holder—the kind with compartments from another conference, just in case they give you a simple plastic one. This way, I've got a secure place for my badge, meal tickets, a little cash and other vitals—like bookmarks.)
3. Don't be afraid to meet people. It's not required that you travel with a glued-to-the-hip companion. Take an empty seat, smile, hand over your bookmark and introduce yourself. This is one place where there's an immediate conversation starter: "What do you write?" (Or, in the case of a readers' conference 'read'?)
4. Bring comfortable clothes, especially shoes. For whatever reason, romance conferences are the dressiest of any I attend, but I tend to be a middle-of-the-road dresser. You'll be doing a lot of sitting, and a lot of walking, depending on how far apart the meeting rooms are. Also, bring layers. Regardless of the outside temperatures, meeting rooms can be meat-locker cold or steamy hot.
5. Pace yourself. You're not obligated to participate in every single event. Take breaks. Hide in your room for an hour if you need to. I long ago stopped feeling guilty about crawling into bed with a book at a decent hour. I've also never (so far) come home sick from a conference.
6. Speaking of books…bring either a bigger suitcase than you need, or some other method of transporting books. Most conferences are heavy on giveaways—and then there's the inevitable bookstore and/or book signing. Another good reason to bring your own tote. Use the one they give you for books.
7. Budget. Long ago, when I traveled on my husband's per-diem, I learned how to save a few bucks. Think college dorm room. Almost all hotel rooms have coffee makers. They make hot water as well as coffee. There are all sorts of "just add boiling water" meal options out there. I'll have instant oatmeal in my room for breakfast. This saves getting dressed early and going downstairs to a crowded hotel restaurant and blowing way too much money on a simple meal. I'll carry snacks as well. I'm not one for huge lunches at home, so for conferences that serve a banquet meal at lunch—well, that's usually my dinner as well. A drink at the bar, maybe an appetizer or salad. No need for another huge and expensive meal. I can buy books with what I've saved.
8. Scope out the facilities. Find out-of-the-way restrooms. Most romance conference attendees are female. Some hotels will convert a men's room to a ladies' room, but don't count on it. Given short breaks between sessions and everyone on the same schedule, lines can get long.
9. Have fun.
Tomorrow, my guest is Susannah Sharp, and she's going to talk about how she researches setting for her books set in Ireland.
Like this post? Please share by clicking one of the links below.[image error]
March 24, 2012
And the Winner is...
Donnell Bell has selected a winner of a copy of THE PAST CAME HUNTING.
Congratulations to Janet Kerr
Email Donnell at bellson (at)comcast (dot) net to claim your prize.
Happy Reading.
Congratulations to Janet Kerr
Email Donnell at bellson (at)comcast (dot) net to claim your prize.
Happy Reading.
