Scott Allan's Blog, page 2

10 Steps to Delegating Important Work Successfully

Years ago, when I had a project to complete, I just took it for granted that it was up to me to do everything that was needed to make it successful. After all, who could I trust on my team more than myself? After nearly failing at a crucial project that was clearly meant for four people instead of just one, I decided to try giving up control of the work on the next project and pass what I could to other people. After several weeks of work and pulling out what little hair I had left, several things occurred to me:

1. You can’t do everything and expect to stay sane;

2. Hiring others and delegating the tasks to other members increases your productivity and efficiency exponentially;

3. Delegating work to others spreads the responsibility;

4. You can accomplish more with feedback received from others on the team.

I know what it’s like to want to do everything yourself. You have heard the expression, “If you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.” Don’t believe it. If you want to get something done, ask other people to help you, or hire the right people to get involved.

10 steps to delegating work successfully
1. Clearly share your vision with everyone involved.

Clearly explain the goals, objectives, and expected outcomes to everyone involved in the work. I know people who share housework as a family; the chores are divided up amongst all members of the family. At the beginning of the week the family will hold a short meeting in which they discuss their goals for the week, as well as each person’s responsibilities for the week. The chairpersons—the mother or the father—delegate the work to be done.

Every morning in Japan, factory and shop workers gather together for a brief “warm-up” session before starting the workday. They discuss each other’s responsibilities and the goals for that day, followed by a short stretching session. It is important that everyone have goals and understand the important role they play in helping achieve those goals. The vision is shared by everyone, and each person involved works to bring that vision to life.

2. Keep an open line of communication.

When it comes to delegating work, have an open line of communication with your employees, staff, co-workers, or family members. Hold regular meetings to discuss pressing issues and problems; one of the keys to success for any organization is to hold regular meetings, so as to check everyone’s progress, discuss problems people are having, and some of the solutions to those problems. A lack of communication results in heavy time and money losses. If it isn’t always feasible to bring everyone together for a meeting, sending out regular email is a viable alternative.

3. Offer suggestions and feedback, and evaluate progress.

When you delegate work to another person, even if it is a professional with years of experience, they still require your advice and feedback on the progress of the work. If not, mistakes that could have been avoided will be made, and once again, the resources that you’re trying to protect are wasted. If you’re too busy to do this, find a delegate to represent you—that is, somebody who knows the work as well as you do and can track its progress and offer positive suggestions and feedback to everyone involved.

4. Make a tracking list for delegated tasks.

Always keep a list of who is doing what, what their deadlines are, and any pressing problems or concerns that people need help with. It depends on the size of the project, but if you lose track of where your work is, it will be very difficult to monitor its progress and talk to the people directly involved. Keep records of everything that has been handed out and regularly follow-up with the people performing the work. Remember, though, that your work isn’t done once you delegate tasks; rather, it is just beginning.

5. Train people [if necessary].

You might have times when work or a project delegated to people requires an upgrade in their skills and knowledge. This training might be in the form of a small presentation, a seminar, on-the-job training, or a meeting to discuss the job at hand and what is involved. The scale of the work is not important; when you delegate, you are still responsible for the final outcome.

If someone makes an error because they didn’t have proper training or lacked the information to do the job right, you are accountable. Mistakes and errors are going to happen no matter how well people are informed, but you can greatly reduce the damage through training people beforehand. Once again, communication plays a powerful role when delegating work.

Remember to show people what is expected of them, and then show them how to get the results you desire. Don’t give up on people before they show you what they’re capable of if given the chance.

6. Don’t pass the blame. Stay accountable for your work.

When things go wrong, the first instinct for some people is to find the person responsible and give them a good scolding. Unfortunately, thousands of people lose their jobs every year due to the error of the person they were reporting to. Perhaps that person didn’t have all the details, or lacked the proper skills to complete the task. In any case, the responsibility for work passed out is shared by you and the delegated individual. Passing blame to another is a lose-lose situation for both parties, and is something you want to avoid at all costs.

7. Praise good work.

Work that is worthy must be praised. I have worked for people in the past who, no matter how hard you worked, never recognized good efforts. The only time your work was acknowledged was when it was done poorly or wrongly. It doesn’t matter if the person delegated the task is getting paid for it or not. Acknowledgement of good work feels good and boosts the confidence of all those involved; it instills in people the motivation to do even better the next time. Such a simple as praising people is good for families, business, and relationships.

8. Assign work to the right person.

Before you delegate work to someone or hire an outside source, the first thing you should do is make sure that person or company is right for the job. The responsibility for finding the right people is yours, and making a mistake such as passing the work on to someone who doesn’t have the proper skills could cost you a lot of money and valuable time. For example, I wouldn’t ask somebody to fix my car’s engine if they couldn’t identify a spark plug. Always assign work to the most capable person and provide them with as much detail as possible.

9. Don’t overload.

Don’t overload any one person with more than they can handle. This is a terrible waste of resources, because if you value that person as an effective resource and a key delegate, loading them up with too much work causes them stress, and the work won’t be done properly. People that are overworked will work faster to get rid of the things on their to-do list, but the work will be sloppy and not as good as it could’ve been had they had only one task to accomplish.

10. Be professional.

I have worked with many people and the experiences I cherish the most are those when employees were treated as part of the business. Praise and encouragement were offered, feedback was given, and training provided for those areas in which I was weak. This was a professional way to keep morale high and encourage people to do the best they could.

I have worked in other professions that treated people just the opposite. Workers were considered expendable and verbally mistreated and very little encouragement was provided with regard to the quality of work done. This is unprofessional and creates a negative environment. If you’re in charge of delegating work or are the one receiving responsibility, remember that a professional attitude is something that people will always remember you for.

It will also keep the good people in your company, and when you have enough good people working with or for you, the opportunities to build and create something new are increased tenfold. Treat people with respect and admiration. Trust them to do the tasks you clearly define. These are the keys to maintaining a successful career, family environment, or business.

Take Away Action Steps:

1. Take a look at the workload you have and decide what can be done by you, and what could be passed on to other people. Even the smallest of tasks given to someone else can save you hours of work.

2. When a project or job works out, praise the people involved and keep them in the loop for the next project you have. This is especially true of online entrepreneurs. It takes time and effort to find the right people so when you do, focus on “hiring permanently”. This will build your brand much faster and ensure that you do it the right way with the right people.

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Forging Relationships With the Right People

ARE YOU SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE?

For years I surrounded myself with the wrong people. By “wrong” I don’t mean that these people were bad in any sense [well, most of them anyway] but, they didn’t contribute to my well-being and quality of living either. And perhaps, I didn’t contribute to theirs.

The environment that your forge, the people you forge alliances with, and the personality and quality of mindset you create as a result of your company has a massive impact on the path you are living today. You might be thinking “but everything that has happened to me so far has been by chance, or destiny.” Well, maybe it has, but you are creating those chances and designing that destiny right now in this moment. You can make the choices who is going to walk with you on this journey. Some people are just along for the ride; others want to help you win the race.

Forging Alliances

For years I defeated myself by forging alliances with people that I later learned were on completely different paths than I. And this doesn’t just mean acquaintances but jobs I took and people I worked with. Everyone plays a role in each others life and, instead of just going with the flow of each person you are interacting with, you have to analyze, think and govern the situation so that you don’t let it drag you into something that could have a negative impact. Forge the wrong relationships and you will set yourself up for failure.

What you need to do is forge an alliance with people who are working towards a similar goal. Preferably a common goal where you can support and encourage each other. These don’t have to be your friends and don’t limit yourself to just the people you know; chances are they aren’t part of your particular alliance you want to create.

“A Mastermind alliance is built of two or more minds working actively together in perfect harmony toward a common definite object.”

— Napoleon Hill

Alliances and Partnerships that made history

Steve Jobs partnered with Steve Wozniac and founded Apple, launching the Apple I and II. While Jobs took care of the marketing, Wozniac crushed it with the invention of the products.

Henry Ford partnered with James J. Couzins and it saved the company from possibly going bankrupt. While Ford was a perfectionist and paid scrutinizing detail to the craftsmanship of the automobile, he failed to meet deadlines and would stall for months without shipping any cars. It was James J. Couzins that focused on the business side of things and convinced Ford that “Either we ship these cars or go bankrupt.” They shipped the cars.

Famed puppeteer and Muppet Creator Jim Henson [Kermit the Frog] partnered with Frank Oz [Ms. Piggy, Yoda] to create some of the most memorable characters still in “show biz” today. The two had a partnership for 27 years until Henson’s untimely death in 1990.

Have you ever heard of that internet thing called Google? Larry Page met Sergey Brin and they founded the worlds largest search engine and the most successful dot-com business in history.

Legendary film makers Steven Spielberg and George Lucas teamed up in the early 70s after showing admiration for each others fieldwork. They then partnered up, both on screen and off, and collaborated to bring moviegoers the Indiana Jones series.

In 1934 Bill Hewlitt and david packard forged a relationship that eventually led to the Hewlett-packard company, which today is worth an estimated 104.3 billion in annual sales.

Driven By Common Goals

Partnerships. Relationships. Driven by a common goal with clear-cut objectives to reach a seemingly impossible outcome if attempted alone. Whatever it is that you are aiming for, seek out those people that are ready to reach out and help you. The relationships you forge with others who become part of your alliance may last for a few years [Jobs and Wozniac] or thirty years [Henson and Oz]. But one thing is certain. Nobody can do it alone.

People need people to make it to the finish line. You won’t cross it on your own if you keep stumbling, because when you do, your partners and trusted allies will be there to carry you across. Find those people who you can make powerful partnerships with, be clear about your aim, and work out a strategy that builds your business, your brand and adds value to people’s lives. Just take a look at any company or success story and you’ll see a team of people who contributed to the overall success of the one or pair of individuals.

Take-Away Action Plan

1. Be clear about what your plan is. If you have a strategy, right it down.

2. Join a mastermind group that supports each others ideas and goals. Even though you may not find that perfect “partner” to work with, just being in touch with others and sharing your ideas is going to open up doors.

3. Find an accountability partner. This is someone that keeps you focused, organized and moving towards your goal. You don’t necessarily have to have the same objective, but the person holds you accountable for deadlines and getting work done. If you don’t have an accountability partner now, you can start with this online app.

4. Be clear about your objectives and mission. If you don’t know what you want, you’ll attract the same like-minded people: an alliance of individuals that don’t know what they want. Do you just want your ship to sail endlessly, or do you want it to reach a specific destination? Your team will help you get there, but they can’t help you if you have no map for getting there. Be clear about what you want. Be clear about who you want to help you get there.

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Raising the Bar on Self-Esteem

 
Building Valuable Self-Worth

By Scott Allan

Do you consider yourself to be a person of measurable good worth or, do you see yourself as flawed somehow with a negative image? Is it easy for you to be alone, or do you feel the need to be surrounded by continuous distractions so you can forget about who you are? Do you feel comfortable with who you are, or do you envy others for who they are? Do you have high standards based on your beliefs that you are a person of intrinsic value or, are your standards low based on the belief that you are worthless and so any set of standards will do?

Regardless of the imperfections or character defects the rest of the world judges you on, you have to adopt the core belief that you are a good person. You are doing the best you can and that you refuse to let others decide what your real value is. It is not for them to decide. But it doesn’t matter what I think, or anyone else for that matter. The only thing that truly matters, and, ultimately, that you have any control over, is how you feel about you. Your opinion of yourself is the highest compliment you can give. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you can invest in. If you feel good about yourself, you will develop deeper feelings of compassion, trust and empathy towards others as well.

“A person’s worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves.”

The value that you place on yourself is far greater than the value anyone else could ever offer you. It is solely your responsibility to make yourself feel good about who you are. Nobody—not friends, family, lovers or employers—can ever take that away. The value you place on your own life is the only value that really matters. Nobody has the right to decide this for you. You are worth as much as you believe yourself to be. If you think you’re a person of great worth inside, than you are; if you think you are worth nothing, you will be nothing according to your own evaluation.

A deficiency in self-worth is traced to a lack of self-love caused by a deep form of personal rejection. People whose thoughts, feelings and beliefs are focused around their deficiencies in character, or lack of achievements, are carrying heavy emotional burdens that weigh down self-confidence. By harvesting negative and misguided beliefs about who they are and what they can do—believing they are useless, unlovable, and worthless—they have internalized the beliefs and emotions that support a negative existence.

Years of criticism, put downs, not measuring up, and listening to false negative messages have left many people deeply wounded and scarred. For some, these scars run deep. You may have learned to cope with your own internal pain through certain defence mechanisms that have worked for many years, but gradually those defences turned against you. Through healing the personal wounds that have cut deep, you can mend the shattered pieces of self-esteem. You can finally start to feel good about who you are.

Building a Relationship with Yourself

We spend a lot of energy and time investing in our relationships with people, both at home and at work. While these investments are sound and necessary, the one relationship that is neglected the most is the relationship with self. It is a fact that most people spend more time watching TV or surfing the net than they do focusing on personal character development that could lead to higher levels of success. Instead of internalizing the habits contributing to never-ending and constant improvement, many have fallen into the pattern of focusing on re-runs of a past life. This creates more of the same stuff you’ve been settling for all your life. If you desire to boost your level of self-worth then, as with any sound investment, you have to make regular contributions into it in order to get a good return.

Simply put, you can only change something when you seek to change it from a higher level of wisdom and knowledge than you had before. If you are still thinking and believing the same things you did yesterday, today will be no different. And tomorrow will be no different than today. If you want to know who you are, you have to decide who you want to be. Instead of settling for the image you have built, focus on the new image you want to become.

Strengthen the bond with the person you see in the mirror of your mind every day. Lead yourself to discover the best of who you are; cast aside the false images that have deceived you up until now. Get comfortable with who you are and take the time to heal the wounds of your past and present talk to people you trust about the issues that have been plaguing you. Confide in someone to get advice, or seek counseling if necessary. In today’s society there is a solution for every situation; you are not alone, and you don’t have to face your demons by yourself.

Building the relationship with yourself is the first step to having good relations with the rest of the world. People are drawn to the person who radiates a positive mental attitude and a healthy spirit. You’ll find yourself surrounded by more friendships than you ever dreamed possible once the changes you have always wanted begin to have positive results.

“Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances.”

Your choice of words, your thoughts, your actions and beliefs all contribute towards elevating your sense of worth and the personal image you have of yourself. If you are positive and self-loving, it is hard for negative emotions to tear you down. When you feel good about who you are, and if your beliefs are supported with encouraging thoughts rather than haranguing words of cruelty, you maintain a positive self-image. This is the reason why creating those beliefs is so critical to building a new life. The beliefs you are holding onto are the steps to your own kingdom of glory; these beliefs are the stepping stones that lead you to healing.

Take a look deep within yourself and question the limiting beliefs that are holding you hostage. You can raise your self-esteem in a matter of minutes through questioning the authority of those thoughts that have negatively been binding you to a life of misery and shame. When you are proud of who you are and what you stand for, the world is attracted to your source of energy. You transform the world around you through transforming yourself from within. It really is an inside job and only you can do it. You are responsible for your own source of happiness. Another cannot give it to you unless you give it to yourself first.

There aren’t any Quick-fix Solutions

In today’s society, the latest global epidemic focuses on the get-rich-get-better-avoid waiting schemes that are rampant in the messages perceived every day—medicine that is fast acting, schemes to get you rich quickly, seminars and TV shows that instantly transform you from nothing to somebody in just a couple of days, or a pill that takes away all your problems and promises to make everything right.

Many of these advertisements target people who suffer from esteem problems and are desperate to get better; they have the desire to improve, to win, and to climb over the obstacles in life but, unlike the false messages that manipulate reality, it is only going to happen through real through hard work and determination.

In spite of the technological wonders that are sweeping the globe and making everything faster—the way we eat, communicate, and consume—the one thing that hasn’t changed is this: If you really want to evolve, to change, to grow, there aren’t any quick fix schemes regardless of what anybody promises you. Furthermore, only you can make those changes by buckling down and getting serious about who you want to be. You are responsible for raising your life’s intrinsic value, not a pill or an instant course that promises complete transformation.

I encourage you to find the people you trust; a friend, a mentor, or a role-model. Share your thoughts and feelings with them over coffee. Tell them what has been holding you back and ask for their advice on how to raise your personal worth. You see, you are already worthy of having anything in this life that you want, you just have to believe in it!

Trust who you are and work to change the things you don’t like. Take a good look at the areas of your life that need the most improvement and adopt the necessary values to make those changes. Love what you stand for and feel good about what you’re doing with your life, even if you’re not sure yet what that is.

Feeling good about yourself doesn’t have to be complicated or even take up much of your time. Like anything, the ability to change something lies in the habit of daily practice. Here are some suggestions you can implement from today to start you on that path towards feeling good and developing a deep caring for who you are.

Actionable Tasks
Make a decision to change one thing

It takes approximately 30 days to change a habit. Make a short list of 3-5 things you would like to change. This can be a habit or an obstacle that you are facing.  From that short list, choose one. Now, map out a list of daily actions you can perform to start working on the changes. On a wall calendar, mark an X for each day that you take an actionable step towards this goal. Do this for 30 days and then evaluate how you feel, the progress you have made, and decide if you are going to continue working on this.

Help someone else

You want to feel good about yourself? Help someone else feel good about who they are. Or, just help someone with something they are struggling with. Mentoring is a great way to become involved with other people. You can do this with people close to you or, get involved in an organization online

Take responsibility for your situation

Responsibility is when you have finally accepted that nobody is coming to your rescue. You are responsible for the situation you are currently in. When it comes to self-esteem or confidence issues, you are responsible for how you choose to feel. You are responsible for and, you create your thoughts about yourself and how you react to others. You are responsible for your own happiness and nobody else is responsible for giving it to you. Make it your mission to take the initiative. Don’t expect someone else to be there to pick you up; when you fall, get up and move on.

Stop Focusing on Only Your Defects

It’s easy to focus on your failures. Many people experience depression because they are fixated on the defects they carry; they have forgotten about the good stuff or fail to see it because they are blinded by the “defective” self. Remember: You are not your defects. You are you. Be yourself at all times. It is okay to focus on your weak spots to remove them, but try not to obsess too much. Focus on the one good thing about yourself you really like, and make it the most important ideal for this day.

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Bad Thoughts, Unrealistic Expectations and Suffering

How often do you point the finger at others and accuse them for your suffering? How many times a day do you wish that others would just get their act together and stop acting foolishly, stop making such silly mistakes; I know what this level of thinking does to people. It puts everything in a very small box. When other people or circumstances do not measure up, or falls below your expectations, we piece together judgments, and may think negatively about that person with our labels and naming. yes, we have all been there before, the coffee shop meet up with friends where you hook up to complain about the days amount of stupidity that came your way. And while you are doing it, somebody else is doing it to you. It works both ways. What goes around really does come around.

Put an end to it. When you feel the need to complain, this is when you really need to step back and think about whom, what and why. Who are you angry with? Why are you angry with them? What could be done to frame the experience into a more positive mindset? You might be tired of hearing the word “positive” be sued on every page but, the reality is, either you are focusing on something with one lens [the positive lens] or the negative lens [judgments, labels, back-alley bad mouthing]. You figure it out. One path is the easy way: anyone can complain and gripe, and many do. The other way is less traveled, and this is why so few take it. It requires great effort to retrain yourself, to reframe your way of thinking, and to act in a new way that is altogether different.

Do you enjoy suffering? Do you enjoy watching others suffer? Would you help someone to get over his or her foolishness if you could? If they did, do you see them being totally different people? I know I do. At least, I do now, but that wasn’t always the case. I spent years hovering over the mistakes and faults of other people, rarely seeing my own. And, when I condemned and labeled them, I could put my own insecurities at rest. But it was a false sense of security. The only real happiness I had is when I stopped expecting others to be something they weren’t. The day this realization came to me everything changed.

Everything.

It was as if I had been wearing a pair of glasses that were always blurring my vision; and then one day I switched out those glasses for better ones. I had reframed, not only my thoughts but, my mindset. When you expect the world to behave a certain way and it doesn’t, you’ll experience stress. That leads to the start of a faulty thought, and from there a spiral down begins.

Like the links in a chain, one negative thought about something or someone is connected to the next thought. You follow the chain all the way down. This has happened to everyone. It happens to me at least twice a week, and it occurs at times when I am least aware of it, or I am too busy to notice. But now at least I can see it when it happens. By making a decision to be present with my mind at all times, I can bring myself back to the start much quicker than before. I have less days to suffer and more to enjoy. But it begins here. You can end most of your mental stress and pain here today if you really commit to it.

Too good to be true? The other option is to just let your mind operate on autopilot. let it do what it does and you’ll get more of the same results. I assume that you don’t want to be that person who tears down another reputation. Or talks ill of them when they are not around. Or wishes them harm because you decided that they deserve it. be careful what you wish for.

The pendulum swings both ways, and what you dish out comes back to you in larger amounts. Imagine what this would mean if you dished out love, or encouragement, or solutions to problems instead of excuses. Imagine the life you would create for yourself and others if you focused your thoughts on helping people, and nothing more.

Or, what if you gave yourself freely to those people that needed it and expected nothing in return.

Here is another big lesson I learned. I still am learning it, but before I knew about this, I was consumed with my “self” and I focused my thoughts on nothing but me. But you see, “me” is a lonely guy. Me wants the world all to himself. Me is an ego that has had its way for far too long. And so I told ME to take a back seat and stay out of the way. Me has had enough to eat in this lifetime.

And so, the journey towards compassionate understanding begins. Learning to empathize and have compassion, to tap into these feelings and consider deeply the situation or other person’s feelings and level they are operating at. Not everyone is like me. what a revelation. They will not always act in ways that I find appropriate. Another revelation. They do things that don’t make sense and get under my skin. More observations. And guess what? I most likely do the same things to others. Maybe they tell their friends about “this guy who…” and start their own spiral of character killing.

So, we need to draw to a conclusion here about how we can alleviate suffering; not only our own but others as well. I am not saying you have to stand up and become Gandhi or Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa. Just remember this:

Everyone is different and doing their best; they don’t act the way we want, they only act the way they know how. They disappoint and drop expectations. You can work on tolerance by thinking deeply about other people. Don’t worry about what they are thinking about you. Who cares. You’ll go crazy if you focus on that. Concentrate on them for them. Be ready to give a hand or shout out some advice. People reciprocate to others in need. More than you know.

Wrong thinking begins small but soon spirals into an out of control wave. This links to depression, social anxiety and moodiness.

About moodiness, it transmits from one person to another. Your bad mood isn’t just yours if you share it with others. You’ll either pass it on or make others flee from you. The one area of my life I needed to adjust was my moods. As I have been discussing this whole time, the spiral that begins the negative self-defeat was once my biggest burden. It would begin in the morning. Getting the kids ready for school. They don’t want to go and start playing around. I have no time and have t get them ready. My wife is yelling “why aren’t they ready?” I get short on temper and it keeps snowballing. By this stage I usually have to walk away. let the kids have their moment. But moods are dangerous. They tend to direct negative energy from within you and project it onto others. It begins with a bad state of mind that focuses on expectations…again.

My expectations are the kids should always listen and obey.

The reality is they don’t.

My expectations are my coworker should have asked to use my computer install of just helping herself.

The reality is she usually does that to most people; she obviously has no problem with it.

My expectations are traffic should be moving a lot faster than it is today.

The reality is, the weather is bad, its Friday, and there is an accident up ahead.

Expectations are unrealistic. Drop them for a week, a day, or an hour. Focus on just the next ten minutes if you can! When I learned this, my level of stress was cut in half. When your mind refuses to accept the situation as it is, you are going to experience a great amount of mental stress.

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A Personal Lesson in Excellence

The Coffee Experience

I will always remember the day I had my first lesson in excellence. I went to my favorite coffee shop and was greeted very politely by a young guy working behind the counter. Handing him my large size tumbler I ordered a large coffee, as I always did, and started to count my change out as he disappeared at the end of the counter with my tumbler. As I waited, nearly two minutes had passed; I was growing impatient because I expected everything right away and, not being a very patient person when it came to coffee, I was feeling my anxiety grow as I noticed the other register next to me had already served three other people…and I was still waiting!

As three minutes had now passed and the next person stepped up to the opposite register to order, I started to pace back and forth, dancing from one foot to the next in the hopes someone would see how angry I was getting here. I was paying nearly $4.00 for this coffee and I wanted it now! I decided it was time to act. I leaned over the counter to peer around the large glass case that was blocking my view with every intention of giving this guy a real piece of my impatient mind…and that was when I saw it. I had just opened my mouth to tell him to “Hurry up!” when suddenly there it was, my precious coffee tumbler of nearly three years, held under a tap of running hot water with one hand and in the other hand the coffee guy was scrubbing the insides of it with a metal scrub brush, removing the caked on coffee grime that had gathered there over the years.

I was suddenly filled with an admiration for what was happening and, as I watched he then filled up my mug with steaming fresh coffee and brought it back to me, placing it on the counter with two hands. He was still smiling as he wiped sweat from his brow probably because he had to scrub about an inch of grime off the inside of my cup that had accumulated there over the past three years. And if that was not enough, he then apologized for making me wait so long. I realized as I walked away with my cup that not only was I a satisfied customer but that my expectations had been exceeded. I will say that again: My expectations had been EXCEEDED.

It was then it occurred to me what true excellence really is. This young guy, although he was probably being paid the same wages as everyone else at the coffee shop, was doing his job with one exception…he was doing his work with excellence! I continued to return to that coffee shop again and again and although it wasn’t always necessary to give my cup a good scrubbing, I was always greeted with a smile and served in an efficient and friendly manner, which I later gathered was probably why this place was so popular.

Customers were treated with an appreciation and gratitude that kept them returning. This place not only served great coffee and the staff had friendly attitudes but, they were in the habit of serving excellence as well; and even although it wasn’t something advertised on the menu, everyone wanted a piece of it. I was convinced that excellence sells, it attracts people, and it sets the standard practice for everything that operates in that field of service. Excellence does make the difference!

 

“Just make up your mind at the very outset that your work is going to stand for quality… that you are going to stamp a superior quality upon everything that goes out of your hands, that whatever you do shall bear the hall-mark of excellence.”
— Orison Swett Marden

Maintaining a Consistency of Purpose

You can deliver the same level of excellence that is dished out everyday by people working in companies, shops and online businesses by exceeding expectations. I have discovered that most people really want to do their best; they want to make a difference in their work and level of service. It is extremely important that our best work, and the quality of our work, be recognized and appreciated in order that we may continue to deliver a level of quality that is superior to anything else. Excellence isn’t what happens when you finally reach your destiny; excellence is the road you travel to reach it. It is a commitment to never-ending personal development.

“You can’t always expect the best from everyone, but you can expect it from yourself.”

It really makes no difference if you are a world famous talk show host or a struggling musician or writer – you give the same level of dedication and persistence in all of your pursuits. Excellence is not the end result of all your efforts; it is the beginning of your best efforts in order to reach higher plateaus of creativity and learning.

The people who maintain a consistency of purpose and follow a set of adhering principals, who do not allow ego, resentment, or ambivalence to interfere with their quest for greatness, are the ones that will reap the grandest rewards available to those that perform the tasks they love to do and do with superior craftsmanship. It is measured by the core principles of a life defined by purposeful action and a commitment to doing your best. Remember this: Your commitment to doing the best job possible is measured in everything you do, even the work that you don’t like. It is through learning to do the work that we don’t want to do that we discover the work that really matters.

Take Away Action Steps:

How can you work excellence into your daily life? Make a list of things that you can perform in an excellent fashion.
How would you rate the current quality of your lifestyle? Would you consider your lifestyle to be of low, medium or a high quality? If your quality of life is low, how will you increase your personal value to attain higher levels of quality?
What are your current standards for living? What are the new levels of standards that you will create and stick to? Write these down in your notebook.
Do you find fulfillment in your current line of work? If not, what is the work you want to do? What is stopping you from doing it?

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Choosing the Path of Self-Reliance

Being self-reliance puts us at a major advantage. It means that no matter what happens, in your job, the economy, or relationships, that as soon as you choose the path to become self-reliant, you are committing yourself to absolute trust…in yourself.

The path of self-reliance is the highest form of independence you can choose to live by.

Instead of making yourself dependent on other people for a paycheck, for love or permission to do something, you can make a conscious choice in any moment to choose yourself, as author James Altucher writes about in the book of the same name Choose Yourself. By choosing yourself and making a firm decision to stop acting like somebody you’re not, when you strip away all evidence of being dependent emotionally and financially on other people and institutions, you take great responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

This is a huge step. Most people are afraid of it. They prefer to stay in the shadows where it’s safe. I don’t blame them. Becoming totally self-reliant and accepting responsibility for your own destiny isn’t something people do everyday. We might hear about it and even read a book or two about it, but the actual commitment takes a greater leap of faith. By saying NO to what you have always accepted and tolerated, you now say YES to the select choices that have the power to change everything.

It begins with a clear-cut decision: you cannot rely, trust or invest in something that has the same power to take away your freedom or controls your destiny. When you choose yourself, you are taking the highest road possible. You are making a personal declaration that your life is your own. You own it and, as the “captain of your own vessel” it is up to you which way to point the stern of your ship.

Being self-reliant doesn’t mean not trusting other people, and it isn’t about cutting bonds or isolating yourself. Just the opposite: You gain greater trust in yourself instead of putting all your faith in others. Trust yourself, have faith in who you are, and don’t worry about what all the other people think. Dependent people worry about what others think of them; this worry drives them to seek permission to be who they are. Independence, or interdependence, is a choice only independent people can make.

But, it is a choice that most people default into believing they don’t have. You can hear it all the time from your friends, family or people at work. They say things like, “I have to go to work. I have no choice.” Or “I have to do this. If I don’t, there will be consequences. I have no choice.” By admitting that you have no choice in most situations, you are right about this. By admitting you have no choice takes away the right to choose.

Children are dependent from a young age. They need adults to decide lot of things for them until they learn that they can eventually choose. But even kids as young as two or three can make decisions. I always ask my kids, “Do you want the red cup or the blue one? Do you want to wear your jeans or shorts today?” It creates self-reliance for them because they start to trust their own decisions. But then as we get older something changes. We enter into institutions, relationships and corporations that, in many cases, don’t give us choices. Nobody asks you, “So, how long would you like to work today? Six or eight hours?” We are told to be there at a certain tome of day and to work a certain amount of hours. Without any question. And if you can’t go by this procedure, they find someone [a person who is more dependent than you] to fill the position.

Self-reliance is a conscious choice [yes, I’ve said this several times already]. You have to choose who you are again and again. If not, you’ll fall back into the old pattern that put you there. It is like a muscle that needs constant exercise to grow. You have to take absolute responsibility for your life. When you make a choice and it turns out wrong, nobody else is to fault. When you say, “It’s up to you” and somebody makes your choices for you that ends up putting you in financial ruin or jammed up somehow, it is your responsibility. When you give the power of choice to somebody else, you give up your personal power.

Taking full responsibility is a massive step. It is a choice you have to make over and over again. The truth is, banks don’t want people to be self-reliant. They want to put you in debt and keep you there. You become a hapless victim, dependent on the shackles that you now own. Were you empowered when you took out that 10,000 loan to pay for that trip with no money down for the first year? Most companies don’t want employees to be self-reliant; because then they quit and move on to do better things instead of taking up a cubicle space. In many relationships, self-reliance is cast aside if one or both partners suffer from some form of co-dependence.

You can see the struggle for independent self-reliance everywhere. The next time you take to the streets really look at the people passing you by. Are their eyes glazed over? Do they appear lost? Desperate? In need of someone to give them a sense of direction or purpose? I see this everyday: Lost souls on a voyage that they feel helpless to manage or control.

You are not helpless. You just have to choose to be self-reliant in every moment. Don’t try to recreate the past or invent the future. Neither exists. Choose what you want to do and who you want to be. By doing this you break away from the dependency trap.

Action Steps [6 Tips to Build Up Your Self-Reliance]

Choose your interdependence now. Always think for yourself. Don’t let others think for you. If you do, this will become a bad habit. When others are allowed to figure out what is best for you, they will be in a position to decide anything. You give up your personal independence this way.
Stay out of debt at all costs. Pay off whatever debt you have [car loans, credit cards, or line of credit]. Pay it off and never accumulate it again.
Learn at least 2 skills that you can earn an income at by hiring yourself out. Take courses on Udemi. Write an eBook. Learn about financial investing. Teach yourself new skills you can market and earn income at. There is nothing more self-reliant than earning a paycheck from your own efforts alone. Nobody is telling you “This is how much you are worth.” You can set your own price.
Always be learning; never stop picking up new skills.
Don’t settle. Self-reliant people are prepared. Are you ready for when your company downsizes and they no longer need you? Are you ready when the relationship you were in for the past five years ends abruptly? Are you ready for whatever life throws at you, knowing that no matter what, you have faith in yourself that you’ll be okay?

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How to Create Your Own Idea Collection System

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you ever come up with stimulating ideas on the spot and you soon lose them because you didn’t record them at the time? Do you wish you could be more organized and systematic in your approach to work, hobbies or skill building? Let’s take a look at the practice and habit of getting your ideas out of your head and down on paper [and this includes virtual paper, too].

Idea gathering is a stimulating practice to collect your thoughts and gather your creative ideas. Most famous inventors had a proven system for recording their ideas and results in a way that was organized and efficient.

Walt Whitman was an American poet and creative thinker who came up with a unique system for storing and organizing all his creative ideas. When he had an idea for a poem or a creative project, he would write the idea down on a tiny slip of paper, and then place it in an envelope for easy storage. The envelopes would be labeled according their categories. Then, when he needed ideas based on whatever he was working on at that moment, he’d take the ideas out and piece them together in a mind map or creative tapestry.

Thomas Edison, inventor and innovator, recorded his ideas in over 3500 notebooks [these were later discovered after his death in 1931]. Edison, who sometimes had hundreds of ideas a day, was relentless when it came to recording facts to be used later for future inventions or creations. This habit of recording ideas and storing them has become synonymous today with business executives, creatives, writers, and artists/designers across all fields who rely on the fuel of their imagination to prompt fresh ideas and keep them flowing in so they are never at a loss for what to do next.

Albert Einstein also recorded his ideas, thoughts and complex theories in notebooks that are still being used today. Da Vinci, who was a multi-talented artist and inventor, recorded all his ideas in notebooks that were used for inventions after his death because he systematically recorded everything.

This brings us the habit of idea recording.

Recording your ideas is a habit that everyone can get started doing. I know a lot of homemakers who use various apps and the “notebook system” for keeping ideas handy for family trips, organizing the house duties, cooking recipes and ideas that can be implemented years down the road that involves planning for the children’s future.

Gathering your ideas and keeping them stored is fun and fills you with enthusiasm when you can refer to them months or years later and pick up the idea to put into action.

Four Ways to Create Your Own Idea Collection System

Imagine if you could have a system where you were coming up with consent ideas for your projects, hobbies, or to boost the quality of your lifestyle? By developing the habit of recording your ideas to put into action later, you are implementing a system that the age-old geniuses and inventors used to patent thousands of their products and theories. Now, you don’t have to be an inventor, scholar or scientist to do this. Anyone can start up an ideas notebook. The key is to make it a habit of recording all the ideas you come up with as they happen.

Create an “Idea Notebook”

Yes, the old pen and paper idea. You didn’t need me to place it here because it is the most obvious solution to recording your ideas. But what a lot of people don’t do is continue with this habit. They might write a few things for a few days and then forget about it. Whatever you do, don’t fall for the old trick that “I’ll write it down later” or “I won’t forget it.” I have had some ideas at the time that were amazing [my own opinion of course] and later, when I tried to recall it, I couldn’t. While my ideas might be amazing, my memory certainly isn’t.

What I find most effective is to record ideas in a physical notebook even after recording it in a virtual app such as Evernote. Why? There is something very real about writing it down. You will have a better chance of remembering the idea if you actually write it down [Yes, pen to paper]. Having a physical copy can also be easier to leaf through when you have a few moments to spare. As your ideas build, you night see the need to keep a separate notebook for various categories. One category might be labeled “Website Ideas” and another could be “Book Ideas.” Whatever it is you are working on, to cut confusion, maybe consider separating your notebooks. Who knows, after a decade or two you might have as many as Edison!

Utilizing the Cross-Fertilizing System

Have you ever had an idea that just popped into your head that wasn’t even closely related to a topic or project you were working on at the time? And did you file it away, only to realize that weeks or months later you could use it for something else? This is what cross-fertilization is. It is when you can transfer ideas or concepts from one problem to help with another.

By gathering your ideas and keeping accurate records of the ideas you have, later on when faced with a challenging situation you might find something hidden in your idea folder that you forgot was there. Cross-referencing, or cross-fertilization, is a great technique for linking projects or tasks together. Sometimes ideas you came up with in one area, even if is totally unrelated, can be carried over into something else.

Do a Mind Map or Brain-dump

I’m sure you have seen or even use the mind mapping technique before. If not its easy and highly effective for getting your ideas down on paper [and there are apps for this as well]. I prefer to tack a large piece of poster paper to the wall, write the subject in the center, and then set the timer for 15 minutes. I’ll then work non-stop for this time and just blast the ideas that come during this time. It’s also called brain-dumping but, basically the same thing. You want to transfer everything from your mind or vision to the paper.

You’ll be amazed that ideas will just materialize out of nowhere called “Idea Linking” or “cross-referencing” to where one idea just links to the next. You’ll even come up with ideas for non-related tasks you can later store for future use. I use this for writing blog posts and novels. As I do the mind map, ideas that I normally wouldn’t have come up with start materializing on the paper.

Use Evernote

This is an amazing app with lots of cool features for collecting and organizing ideas into notes, folders and stacks. Evernote can be used for practically anything. You can record your voice or make notes while on the move with the downloadable app. By having a virtual notebook handy, this means that you can record ideas or thoughts as they happen right away if you don’t have a pen and paper immediately handy. Over the years I have recorded hundreds of ideas that I was able to use later just while I was on the run. You can download Evernote here.

Build on the Ideas of Others

Edison once said that, “Your ideas only need to be original in the adaptation to the problem you are working on.” This meant that you didn’t have to come up with an absolutely unique idea that nobody has ever heard of before. You could take an existing concept and add to it, refine it, and make it original in its application. This is how Steve Jobs created the iPod. He didn’t invent digital music. The technology was already there, but it wasn’t being mass marketed and the user interface was weak. Apple took what already existed, and created a product that was sleeker, stylish and could be operated with ease and fun.

Be observant of the ideas around you. Question things and ask yourself, “Can I do better? is that as good a sit can get?” You don’t have to be a key inventor or genius [I know I’m not] to come up with better ideas that can build on what already exists. Be willing to try something new and, if you do see an opportunity that you think could be worth exploring, mind map the possibilities and get your ideas down. Then come up with a list of actions and follow through.

Takeaway Action Steps:

Make it a habit of recording your ideas as soon as you think of something. You can do this using an idea capturing app [Evernote] or an actual notebook.
Cross-reference your ideas with other situations or projects you are working on. Like putting the pieces of a puzzle together, sometimes you can find solutions to problems that you otherwise would have never realized.
Make mind mapping a habit. Do this once a week where you will do a massive brain dump and get all the ideas out of your head and down on paper. Is it an idea for a new business? A series of blog posts you are writing? A proposal for a new product? Mind map your ideas, set a timer for 15-30 minutes and dump everything in your head during this time.

 

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The Power of Priority Investment Planning [PIP]

“Lost wealth may be replaced by industry, lost knowledge by study, lost health by temperance or medicine, but lost time is gone forever.”   — Samuel Smiles

 

Priority Investment Planning [PIP] is a powerful set of strategies that can create massive results in little time if you spend just a few minutes a day focusing on the Most Important Things [MITs].

Prioritize Your Life

The first step to mastering your time so you can get the most out of your day is through a system I call priority investment planning (PIP). This technique is used for establishing your master priorities so you can concentrate on the things that matter most. You have to know what is most valuable to you so that you don’t get caught up in contributing to those activities and distractions that have little or no value but suck up massive amounts of time each day, month and within the year.

Consider these questions: Are you continuously struggling for more time to spend with your family? Is someone else dictating to you how and when to do things? Is too much of your time spent on pleasing others when you would rather be pursuing your own passions? Do you constantly complain about having no time, only to spend it wrapped up in trivial matters and empty tasks? If so, it is important to understand that you are not in control of your life until you learn to be in control of yourself—that is, you can self manage yourself so that you’re utilizing your most precious resource: your time!

PIP puts you in control of your life. Most people never figure out their priorities and so spend all their time chasing unimportant, non-urgent matters and responding to the never-ending needs and demands of others. Prioritizing your tasks and goals is the process of taking those things that matter most—that is, the goals and aims that contribute to your true values and the creation of a vision you have for the rest of your life.

In Stephen Covey’s wonderful book The 7 habits of Highly Effective People, he tells us that, to be most effective in the area of time management, we must “organize and execute around priorities.” This is exactly what we’re going to do: determine the most important things in your life, and build the rest of your world around those high-level activities.In other words, you are putting what matters most first.

Time Control Is about Action Management

Organizing your priorities and putting into order of importance the things that matter most is a powerful organizational skill. Clarifying and defining goals and projects is one thing, but it’s only the beginning. In order to be truly effective, you have to know the actions you’re going to take and why you’re taking them. Having said this, it isn’t enough to just schedule our priorities and hope it all works out in the end. You have to take proactive measures to control your actions in relation to those priorities.

In order to be truly effective and make a recognizable difference in your life, you have to organize your busy schedule around these priorities. This means that, no matter how many things you have on the go today or this week, determine the actions you know you must take if you are to complete the work you are setting out to achieve. Know what your tasks for that day and week are. If you fail to do this, the things that matter most will be buried under heaps of other “little” things, or the stuff that matters least. If you can manage your actions—that is, work on those activities, tasks and projects that deliver high value—you automatically begin to define the skills necessary for mastering your time.

When I look around at the actions people take, I can see the difference in those people that are working because they have to and those with a deeper purpose. They know why they’re busy and what they have to do to achieve goals and meet demands. Many people I silently observe keep busy to avoid falling into lethargy, or to stop from getting scolded by a supervisor that wants to see them looking busy. It is the select few with directed actions targeted towards a specific purpose that will accomplish their greatest dreams.

Just Do Something [and Take Action]

Let’s do a short exercise. Choose something you’ve been meaning to start but haven’t found the time. Is your house a mess? Is there a photo album you’ve wanted to put together but just haven’t had 30 minutes to do so? Is there a project that’s been on your to-do list for the past five years? Whatever it may be, choose something right now. Now, for the next 15 minutes, I want you to do some form of action on that activity. You can set a timer if you want to, but for the next 15 minutes you’re going to do something that contributes to this project, no matter how big or small it is. If you’ve been trying to start a book for the past year, write the first page (or the last). Make a chapter list. Do anything. Don’t even think too long or hard about what you’re going to do. Just do something.

After 15 minutes have passed, just stop and check out how you feel. Do you feel excited and motivated to continue, or like a great pressure valve has been released and now, instead of putting off this job or task, you know it’s possible to do it if you take some action? Even if it’s something that will take you months or years to complete, taking that first step gives you momentum. Instead of wasting time thinking about doing it, you can start to do it whenever you want. You can do this for anything. Try it with a priority task that is going to make a dent in your universe.

Organizing Things That Matter

What’s most important to you now? Is it spending time with family? Winning an election or giving a public speech? Starting your own company? Getting into the best physical shape possible? Volunteering your services? Learning a new language? Upgrading your education so you can get a better job that’s more in line with your true talents? Writing a book? Reading a series of books on how to do something? Changing your job to something more in line with your purpose? Building the house of your dreams? Saving money for the house of your dreams?

Where is your passion the strongest? Are your daily activities in line with your character values? When do you feel the most enthusiastic and energetic?

Okay, enough questions for me. I want you to get thinking about what you really want, and what you are willing to do to get it.

Knowing what you feel passionate about and you will find time for it. Organizing your priorities and knowing specifically what they are is the formula for mastering . It’s not about controlling all the little stuff or attempting to keep busy just so you look productive. It is concentrating and dedicating your time to a particular objective. You focus on your highest ambitions and do what has to be done to achieve victory within the areas that have your best passion at heart.

So, how do you know what your priority is for this week, or even for today? Up to this point everything you were doing probably felt like a priority-one situation. Dealing with everything as it’s thrown at you has become an unconscious habit. It’s in our nature to respond with a sudden reaction whenever a crisis occurs or we’re called to the line of duty. We must stop reacting to every little event as if we need to be there to fix it. The point is, learning to choose what needs to be done by you, and what can be done by someone else. As I learned to adjust my schedule around my priorities, I stopped treading down the path of least resistance. I knew when to say no, and that it was perfectly acceptable to stop trying to please everyone.

“If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got.” — Lee Iacocca

The key is to select and focus on those master areas of your life that will contribute to the overall progress, growth, and quality of your life. The master areas I spend the most time on contribute in some small way to designing the world I will live in in five, 10, or 20 years. In other words, I focus on the activities that are in a direct relationship with my master goals and contribute to the achievement of those goals. It’s easy to know where your priorities are: just take a look at the things that add the greatest value to your life and you’ll have an instant understanding of what you’re supposed to do with your limited time resources. The actions I engage in are constructive and positive life-building activities.

Recognizing the priority thoughts, words, and actions that govern your life is a way of valuing yourself. Remember that, if you are not fixated on a goal or high-end priority tasks, you’re probably fixated on something else; this is a distraction that pulls you off course and steers you in the wrong direction. This is where people lose time. When I’m distracted or get pulled into something else, it takes me hours or even days before I get back to what I was doing initially. Remember that your high-level priority workload grows out of your deepest desires. The subconscious knows what it wants and will help you prioritize to get it.

Know what matters most.

Take action today.

Now.

When you schedule your daily, weekly, and monthly priorities, keep these important factors in mind…

Be very clear and exact about what you want to achieve.
Prioritize those activities that take you closer to your desired accomplishments. Give them first place on your priority list!
Work your schedule to fit around your priorities.
Focus on life design, not life crises.
Learn to say no to “urgent” matters that don’t matter.
Delegate tasks to other people when needed.
Be flexible in your scheduling.
Reward yourself vigorously when you complete a goal or priority.
Creating your destiny is fun. Enjoy yourself!
Make time for your distractions.
Your priorities reflect your personal values. They are a statement of what you want the most.

Take Away Action Steps:

1. Create an MIT list of 4-6 items before you go to bed. These are your high priorities you need to accomplish tomorrow.

2. Prioritize these items in order of importance.

3. Tomorrow you are going to concentrate only on the first task. Work on it until the first task is finished before moving to the next one.

4. Tackle the rest of the list the same way, moving through it until each task is complete.

5. Repeat this process everyday.

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Stay Clear of the Complaining Addiction

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is said that once an artist made a painting and displayed it on a corner of the street and stood aside. After a while, as a few passersby went by, finally one person came, looked closely then pointed out a few errors in the painting and moved on. Another man saw it, he too looked at it and pointed out some issues and moved on. It happened for quite a while. The artist decides to make a change. He wrote under the picture “Correct if there is any mistake or issue”. Many people passed by, looked at the picture but no one bothered to actually make any corrections to the painting. It is because people love to complain a lot and when it comes to doing something about the things we have a problem with, we step back.

Complaining is a very common habit and, in fact, the most loved habit of many people is to sit and complain about things and gain sympathy from anyone who will listen. However, this is really unhealthy for our relationships. According to Dennis prager, a famous TV host, columnist and journalist:

“Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day, too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get.”

Complaining is the Biggest Source of Unhappiness

When you complain about a situation, you are basically saying: “I have no control over this situation. Someone has done something to me that is unacceptable, and there is nothing I can do about it.” You put yourself in a “victim state of powerlessness.” forgetting that you may have had a hand in the situation, you blame the other party and vent your frustration that fuels the situation even further.

People say they “feel better” after venting to a friend or colleague about “how this person did this and that.” Both people, when in complaining mode, seek to serve and further support the negative cycle that created the situation in the first place.

Remember, as it was said by William Shakespeare, “Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Weak thoughts lead to weak words; weak words and thoughts combined together creates a negative state of mind and the way to justify this state it is to criticize the source of misery that put us there.

Get Out of the “Poor Me” Trap

Complaining is a negative habit that accomplishes what it sets out to do:  Thinking you have been taken advantage of encourages it or if only this person would stop behaving this way, my life would be better. Poor me poor me poor me. Now, take a moment to step out of yourself. Observe yourself from a distance and try to see the person you are being as you are complaining and venting, getting things off your chest while someone of like thought shares in your grief.

As Eckhart Tolle states: “There are three things you can do. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept the situation. All else is madness.” Complaining is the minds way of making itself “right” and “justified”.

It is the easy way out. You go on believing that as long as this crisis is in your life, and that you have no part in it and can do nothing about it, you feel powerless to do anything about it. Your thoughts support this illusion and give you more of the same suffering tomorrow and the rest of the week. This pattern of thinking develops into a negative pattern of repetitive actions. Something happens that you are not happy with, you look to somehow make it right, to justify how you have been victimized, and to frame the other person for acting so irresponsibility.

I have conversations with my “self” in my own head where I am complaining, blaming and labeling something. Regardless of whether you are telling someone about it who will listen, or just telling it to yourself, the result is the same. It creates the same emotional state. You are still operating from an old thought pattern conditioned to respond a certain way when faced with situation you label not acceptable.

You have to catch this thought pattern when it rises to action. We are responsible for their own minds and the quality of thinking that goes into it. A computer system only operates based on the data it is given; your mind works in a similar function. It has also been programmed. You can give it a new operating system to go by. You have a choice here and you don’t have to be a powerless victim to the attitudes or actions of others. You will see that complaining feeds into the illusion and supports the situation, but inevitably doesn’t alter it. It keeps you trapped.

Solutions and Gratitude

As the story states in the beginning, we love to complain but when it comes to actually doing something we all step back. We need to develop an attitude of working to improve things instead of merely talking and complaining about them.

Everyone loves a problem solver; complainers are avoided and add nothing of value. So if you become a problem solver, you will be able to have a lot of strong relationships in your life. Author, Anthony J. D’Angelo argues in favor of positive attitude, “If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”

Be grateful for what you have. Once you realize the blessings that you possess, you will never feel an urge to complain again. Always look at people with lower status than yours and see how life treats them and you will get a realization of how blessed you are to have all those facilities in life. As you start feeling grateful, you will not find reasons to complain about.

The frequent complainer personality is not liked by many. Everyone wants to get rid of the person who has problem with everything in life despite having everything. While grateful people are always loved by all. So stop yourself before you become a complaining addict and lose many valuable relationships. Just as famous Christian Author Joyce Meyer said,

“Complaining is dangerous business. It can damage or even destroy your relationship with God, your relationships with other people, and even with your relationship with yourself.”
Take Away Action Steps:

1. Take the 7 day “No-Complaints” Challenge: Now it is time to see how much of  complainer you really are. I challenge you to give up your complaints for 7 days. It doesn’t seem that long? Try it. For many people, complaining has become so ingrained into character they usually aren’t aware it’s happening until they start observing their actions. This is your chance to catch yourself in the act.

2. Turn a Complaint into Praise: When you catch yourself on the complaint train, stop and ask yourself three questions. 1. Is this really helping the situation? 2. What can I do to make this situation better, or, gain a deeper perspective around this? 3. If the person I am complaining about were standing right behind me now, how would they feel?

3. Decide to become a solution seeker. Make a conscious choice to give up complaining altogether. Turn this habit into a new habit of seeking solutions instead of pointing the finger. You will avoid building resentment, the #1 killer of happiness.

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How To Stop Majoring in Minor Things

Master to Your Distractions

Do you ever find yourself overly busy but not really getting anywhere with your life? Do you spend countless hours “doing stuff” but at the end of the day you have nothing to show for all your hard work? Are you easily pulled off course and wind up feeding into other people’s mayhem and disorder?

This is what happens when we focus on activities that don’t matter but they suck up our time. In today’s world, with all we have to focus on and literally hundreds of choices to make on what to do next, it is easier than ever to spread your time out over doing literally dozens of different things in a day. When this happens, we end up being half-masters of the many, and true masters of none.

Trying to organize the number of distractions you face everyday is an overwhelming task and can prove to be futile. In a world of instant response time and all the beeps and whistles that pop up all vying for our attention, attempting to make order out of chaos is enough to drive you insane. When you major in minor things, you end up paying too much attention to the activities that are right “there” and less energy is channeled into those few “golden nuggets” that really matter.

A Sense of Urgency

Here is an example. You are at home and you have to write a blog post for your deadline tomorrow. You have notifications on your PC and other emails are coming in. Your email notifications tab reminds you every six seconds when someone comments on your FB post, tweets you or messages drop in from people just looking to see what you are up to.

You stop writing every few minutes to check these. You get back to the writing and you lost that steady flow you had. Next the phone rings [oops, should have turned that off] and it was nothing mind blowing, just a friend who wanted to chat about his day.

While that may be important to him or her, you are trying to improve your writing skills and could have done without that. In the end, what should have been a good solid 30 minutes of writing took one hour and your mind feels it is spinning with everything “going on.”

This is the sense of “senseless urgency” most people are connected to these days. We are training ourselves in the art of “react and act” without any form or purpose.

I know what it’s like to have that urge to feel busy, that you are really accomplishing something or that you are so connected with the world that everything has to be taken care of in the moment, as it’s happening, right away so that nobody feels left out. But here is the thing…

None of it Matters.

Your emails and notifications will be there tomorrow. Your friend that called to talk about her day will just call somebody else or wait until later when you are free. When you enter a reactive state, this becomes your conditioned way of living. When you spend more time and energy channeling into the activities that don’t matter, you lose sight of the big prize. You lose FOCUS [Follow One Course Until Successful], and instead of doing what matters and making a real dent in the universe, you fall into micromanaging lots of little stuff that, at the end of the day, amounted to no more than putting out some fires and feeding into the frenzy of the world’s “take me now” syndrome.

Building the daily habit of focusing in and narrowing down on your CORE ACTIVITY is going to have long term gains. Instead of spreading yourself out and trying to manage all the stuff coming in, make it a habit of asking yourself “Is this important right now? Can it wait for an hour when my FOCUS session is over?”

In 90% of the cases, yes it can.

F.O.C.U.S.

I was always in the habit of having 2-3 projects on the go at once. I thought they had to be all done at once. The problem with this is, you spread your time thin and it increases not just the workload, but your “emergency response time” which means the number of distractions, calls, and small details you would normally be able to handle for one project has now tripled.

F.O.C.U.S. on one major obstacle, work through it, and then tackle the next one. Of course there are many people who have no choice to take on 3-4 projects at the same time; this is when you master the art of delegating or outsourcing it to a Virtual Assistant. Let others manage your tasks that you don’t have to do so you can focus on the creativity or business side of things.

Takeaway “Massive Action” Steps

Today, make it a discipline to disengage yourself for one hour from all your electronic devices. If one hour is too long, you can start with small increments of just 20-30 minutes. Try to develop the habit of powering down for one hour a day so you can spend this time meditating or doing some deep thinking.
Make a list of all the distractions you struggle with. Watching too much TV? Surfing sites just to kill time? Responding right away to all your emails and notifications? Reacting to other people’s emergencies when it has nothing to do with you? Once you have made a list, decide what it is you have control over.
The best way to manage your “reactions” is to decide if you will allow yourself to be pulled into reacting or ignoring it. If it is something you can control, decide what you can do. Turn off your phone? Unhook the internet? Move to a location that is more quiet and you will not be disturbed? Make a decision to “think first” before rushing in to take care of something.
Use the F.O.C.U.S. Method: Follow One Course Until Successful. Choose your battles carefully and dive into it until you have completed it. Avoid spreading yourself too thin by doing too much. And, do a way with multi-tasking. When you concentrate on the one task at hand it adds more value to your current project because you are dedicating 100% to it.

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