Rick Jantz's Blog, page 2

8 Ideas To Change Who You Want To Become

I recently wrote about how we need to have the determination to pursue our intentions, otherwise, we may get easily sidetracked by any number of things, good and harmful.

Here are some things that I’m doing.  Perhaps they’ll help you on your journey as well.

I write inspirational Facebook and blog posts (such as this one) and I find that by writing my intentions down I find the determination to “stay the path.”  Repetition helps me to continue where I want/need to go.



I write what I’m grateful for morning and night.  These are like brackets in my day so that I begin and end knowing gratitude.  And by this, I know, too, that I have much and am fortunate with my life.



When I meet people, even on a walk, I remind myself to care about that person in this moment and not to just pass by with a scowl of “leave me alone.”  I write about this scowling habit I have below.



I put good things in so good things come out.  This includes what I eat and what I read.  If I make poor choices in these I find that my day has less energy and I feel like I’ve wasted a day; time which is so precious and must be filled with good thoughts and deeds.



I’ve become more aware of my self-talk and so instead of berating myself (and causing self-harm) I pause and change my thinking to something positive.So instead of thinking, “You dummy, you did it again,” I think, “Well, you did it again.  Oh well.  And how will you do it differently next time?”



Here’s my blurb about my scowling.  Because my face typically scowls, I’ve realized that I won’t appear to be the happy person I want others to see me as,  So I’ve been learning to relax my face and turn my scowl into a smile.  And it works!  Granted this is hard work but very necessary for the person I am becoming.I’m sure you’ve heard that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, but here’s something else interesting: one fitness website claims that you burn more calories smiling than you do frowning.  Who isn’t about burning calories while smiling at the people we meet?  I would think that laughter would just melt those final, persistent pounds away.I find the cheer I’m looking for because I ask myself to be cheery.  This goes with the scowling point above but emphasizes that I can change my attitude by first:Become aware of the attitude I wish to change,Doing something to change my attitude.  And if I’m smiling then, I think, we all win.

7. And wouldn’t we all prefer to be happy than sad?

It is for us each to choose to be so.

8. And finally, and for me most importantly, I’m paying attention to what I pay attention to: namely, spirituality.  I’ve always been a spiritual person and have been aware that there is Someone/Something greater than here and yet in me.

I went to church many years ago (about 35) but chose to walk away. Yet even through marriage, kids, and a career I always knew that I was ignoring my spirit, on purpose.  

But now I’m acknowledging that I am a spiritual person and I must accept this and become it.  We must become what we know we are.

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list of what we need to do to become who we want to become.  Nor will your list be the same as mine.  But the important thing for each of us to do on our paths of self-discovery is to create our own list to create the person we want to become.

And we must be determined with our intentions.

The post 8 Ideas To Change Who You Want To Become first appeared on Rick Jantz, Writer.

Mountaintop Reflections – I Saw The Universe – Really!

Have you ever climbed a mountain or even the local ski hill just to get away and think? About what you’re doing with yourself, whether it be your job, your family, school, or even about the meaning of life (whatever that means to you)?

Now, I come by mountain climbing naturally having been raised in the mountains and accustomed to having a mountain to climb outside my back door. This was the perfect opportunity for a teenage boy to take the dogs for a hike, hang your feet over a cliff, and view the distant highway, wondering where everyone was going and how important was it that they got there.

Sitting High, Thinking High

There’s something to be said about sitting on a mountain or hilltop and thinking about life and your place in it. Whether you’re looking down, across, or up; placing yourself above the swarm gives you the quiet you need to catch your breath, look inside, and ponder.

Probably what’s most important is that you’ve taken a risk, you’re getting away from the distraction of others and of things and going to a place that demands that you just watch. You’ve given yourself those few moments when you can let go and become that observer from a distance. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Far too often we let the busyness of life get in the way of reflecting on who we are and where we are going. We allow ourselves to “get caught up in the grind” and sometimes let ourselves forget…or ignore…what is significant. What are those things we hold to be true and that give meaning to our lives?

Sitting Apart

Taking that deliberate walk to the top of the nearest peak allows us to move above the good and the bad that we find ourselves to be living in. Stopping to sit and look down allows us to view those things…and those people…from a distance and reflect on the quality they/it bring to us and we bring to them/it.

That physical separation, taking the time to be with ourselves, counting our blessings and our curses will bring to light their reality and importance. It’s easy enough to feel like you’ve isolated yourself when you sit on that mountain. But, in reality, you will realize the importance of those things that are meant to be important and you will plan ways to peel off those things that must be let go.

Are You Coming Down Wiser?

Arguably, you’ve gone high to think high. But are you coming back reinvigorated, focused, and knowing what you must do next? Or are you coming down…literally? Even feeling more depressed and lost than when you climbed up?

We must be very deliberate and focused when we come down from our mountain. You went up to pause, to breathe, to view…not the view but your view. But any value is lost if you don’t bring resolution back down with you. Resolve to keep the good, even make it better, and lose the bad, regardless how long that takes.

You may not have created a 10-step plan to succeed or do better but you have recognized those things that must remain and those things that must change. You have made some decisions or had some insights into what must change and what can safely stay the same. If you don’t do – and act – on these then hopefully you at least enjoyed the view up there.

Tell Me Of Your Experience

Have you had a mountaintop experience, even a “eureka moment” that you would like to share? My most recent one was staring at the stars from the small hill across from our house (that’s the one in the picture) and feeling awed by the vastness of the universe.

And I didn’t feel small or insignificant but, rather, a part of the whole…and I realized that I did mean something, but I couldn’t keep myself focused on earthly things or pleasures. There are bigger things involved here.

Since that time, I had my son (the artist) paint a picture of the universe with tiny stars and add the word, “Drift” – I want to drift through the universe in amazement. But first, let me be amazed here on earth.

Thank you for reading.

The Coming Season Of Thanksgiving

An endless season starts.

We all feel it’s demands.

No one an island 

as the season grips us all.

Not all who begin

will see it close.

For reasons unknown

it swoops erratically.

Within the brackets of this time

humanity is afraid.

Exposed, vulnerable, and screaming

at this season of fear that invades.

Our new bravery

demands we say, “We’re fine,

illness cannot happen here.”

…and then it does.

This season will cost much

but raise hope

until, together again,

we enter the season of thanksgiving.

We Are Responsible For The Place We Live And For Making It Better

At no other time has being responsible for the place we live been more important.  In this time of a worldwide pandemic, we must take care of our little corners of the world – our communities.

We’re told to self-isolate and meet only in very small groups.  Great advice, even when it includes your family. We will get through this but we must get through it together.

Fortunately, we have things like social media, smartphones, and some even have landlines.  Let’s make use of these in order to stay in touch with one another.

As noted in Part 2 of this three-part series, we are responsible for the well-being, even the happiness, of others.  So while we must keep our physical distancing we don’t need to keep our social distancing when it comes to staying in touch with one another and ensuring our families and friends are healthy and doing okay.

In 2019, our family held a memorial service for both of my parents after they passed away.  One thing we did was to start a family page on Facebook so we could provide information and stay in contact with one another.  I’ve just begun using it for the COVID-19 pandemic so we can stay in touch as our family is spread out from border to border in Canada.  We’ve already had some good discussions and have been able to check up on and encourage one another.

And when we do need to go out for essential things such as work, groceries, and medical appointments we need to go out and do what is essential and then return home for two reasons:

We have done only what we needed to do,We have done as much as we can to protect anyone we may have come in contact with.

Our days of celebrations, family, and friends will return.  

In the meantime, we need to be responsible citizens and do everything we can to ensure that day arrives for everyone we know or don’t know.

Let’s help, not harm, one another and ourselves.

Stay healthy everyone.

We Are Responsible For Others And Helping Them Grow

Once we accept and become being responsible for ourselves, as noted in Part 1 of this series, we must continue to be this for ourselves because the next step is to realize that we are responsible for others.

I don’t necessarily mean for their day to day sustenance and upkeep (although that might prove to be the case at some point) but, rather, for their growth and support.  I believe this also includes accepting them and ensuring that they know they belong and that they matter.

It is up to us and, as noted in the Introduction, we are that somebody who can help.  Don’t expect that there will be someone else that will come along. There might be. But while you are with the other person in the moment you both find yourself in, be responsible for their well-being, even their happiness.

We sometimes hold ourselves aloof (I know I do) and think that the other person will be okay.  Don’t assume that. Don’t allow the other person to pass you by without helping or encouraging in whatever way you can.

I know I sometimes walk past someone I can see needs help.  Or maybe I think that there’s nothing that I can do. Don’t take that attitude.  Turn around and see what you can do.

I think a wonderful way to think about this, for those of us with kids, is to extend to others the love that we extend to our kids.  If we felt responsible for someone in this way then I know we can make a difference.

Our duty, not just to ourselves but to others, is to help each person grow.  Leave them better than you found them.  I think that’s fairly easy to remember.  Don’t harm – help. Don’t try and get something from them but give something to them.  And this is most often our time. Our ear. Our compassion.

Just think how someone who helped you made a difference.  Now want to be that difference for someone else. Reach out instead of walling off.

I think that when we acknowledge that we are responsible for others, to helping them, we become more aware of everyone’s importance in the world.  After all, we each want to belong and know that we matter.

For The Children We Ignored

I am that little boy

hiding behind the woodpile

with his dog,  crying.

I am that little girl

in front of the mirror

with her doll, broken.

We are the children

who only wanted

to be loved, but weren’t.

We played superheroes

so no one would harm us

except you, and you did.

We wanted to be cared for

maybe loved

but never ignored, which you did.

We learned to “be seen and not heard”

and are that still

because we don’t know how to love.

A smile, a hug

maybe “I love you”

would have helped the child

you didn’t see.

We Are Responsible For Ourselves And The Decisions We Make

I went to an old friend for the definition of responsible; a hardcopy dictionary from my young adult years that I haven’t used since Google searches came into our lives.

Responsible:

“Able to answer for one’s conduct or obligations.”

“Trustworthy: able to choose for oneself between right and wrong.”

Synonyms: trustworthy, accountable

Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary (published 1986)

As I said in the Introduction, we gain other’s trust when they see that we are being responsible and making good choices.  From this they learn to trust us and, I believe, are more willing to accept our help when that help is from our “genuine selves.”

Far too many people say life (sh*t) happens and there’s nothing we can do about it.  While I understand that thinking, I also believe that it’s only real and sticks if we let it.

You can accept the negative or learn from it.

I think that part of being responsible is figuring out how to pick ourselves up, how to accept what’s come our way and:

accept itdo something about it.

Take responsibility for what’s happened.  Don’t blame others and certainly don’t blame yourself.  Know that it’s yours to own and do something about. It would be too easy to let something we do or don’t control knock us off our chosen path and say, “It’s not worth it.”

I say it is worth it!  You are worth it! I am worth it!

When I think of the responsible decisions we need to make I always think of my gut response; what do I know to be true? We need to know and trust ourselves to make the right decision because we know it to be right.

Sure, we can bounce it off other people or go for a walk and think it through but when it comes right down to it:

We know we need to make the right decision.We know what that decision needs to be.

And then just start.  Like Nike says, “Just Do It.”  We have to trust ourselves to know and then trust that there will be a bridge when we reach the river that would wash us away.  And if there’s not a bridge, build one. Know that you can do it. Know that you know.

Be resilient.  Persevere. If it’s important to you make it important to do.

Being responsible also includes for others, but I’ll talk more about that in the next post  I just want to say here that responsibility is not a selfish act. We don’t want to make decisions that only benefit ourselves, although we do want to do them from our higher selves.

Rather, we want to make responsible decisions for ourselves and others.  What we choose will have an effect on others, especially our family and friends.  Responsible decisions benefit everyone.

What are your thoughts about your own responsibility and the decisions you make?  If you’re like me, you sometimes struggle with knowing what the right decision is.  But have faith in yourself and trust that the answer is inside you.

In the next post, I’ll be talking about being responsible for others and how we need to help, not harm.

We Are Responsible – Introduction

I recently wrote that “you are not responsible for other’s happiness, but you could be the reason for it.”  But that didn’t seem quite right. It didn’t ring true and as I thought about it I realized that we are indeed responsible for it; just as we are for treating people with love and respect.

Not being responsible for other’s happiness seems to a cop-out, a way for us to remain aloof and not help others be happy.  Perhaps we’re not happy to begin with? And if that’s the case, it would be difficult to help others be happy.

But which would you rather give others: happiness or anger?

As I’ve thought about responsibility for self and others, it seems to me that we too quickly say, “It’s not up to me” or “Somebody else can do it.”

I decided to follow this thought about responsibility for a bit and so I’m going to be posting about it as follows:

We Are Responsible For Ourselves And The Decisions We MakeWe Are Responsible For Others And Helping Them GrowWe Are Responsible For The Place We Live And Making It Better

I think we are to be responsible for others and one way we can do that is by showing them that we care and what matters to them matters to us.

Of course, we must begin by being responsible for ourselves.  This includes making good life decisions that are in line with our core values and beliefs.  We need to take these and live them in our world and being dependable, reliable, and even accepting the consequences for our decisions (they won’t always go as we wanted them to).  

When we are responsible for ourselves, and others will see this, then we gain their trust and respect and they will become more willing to open up and accept what we have to offer – our genuine compassion and support.

I trust you will get some value from these upcoming posts and I look forward to any comments you may have.

The Value Of Friendships

I’m one of those people who far too easily give up on those who are close.  And to be completely honest, I don’t let them in at the time they could become even more valuable as friends.

I think we too often let opportunities to get to know better those we come in contact with.  This includes at work as well as any social gatherings or neighborhood get-togethers. We are given opportunities to matter to others and we (I) let them pass.

Why do we do this?  Is it because we are fearful of getting too close?  Getting hurt? Or fearing others wouldn’t like us if “they really knew us?”

I have one friend left from high school and I’ve allowed us to lose touch.  Although, when we do see each other once every 10 years, we pick up as if time has not passed.  Same with my early adult years when I was learning to be self-sufficient and then eventually got married.  We moved away and I let those friendships slide as well.

And now with retirement upon me, there are those in the office I keep at arm’s length, again not wanting to become too close because we are at different places in our lives.

We hold off when we should let in.

Each person we come in contact with becomes a part of us as we do of them.  When we experience life together we are life together. And we need to, I need to, experience these people more fully and allow them to become friends and, more importantly, to be their friend.

We can help one another.  We don’t have to block people out from who we really are.  Heavens, I suspect they see us for who we are more than we realize – and they still want to be with us and become even closer.

Who else finds it difficult to let others in?  I do. And I need to learn to be open to this and not fear to be who I know myself to be.  Sure, there’s risk to this. Sure we or they might move away (life happens). But we shouldn’t bottle ourselves off and not allow friendships to grow.

My goal is to open myself up and to allow people in.  To begin to enjoy the moments we find ourselves in. To risk taking a chance and being caring.  

Who knows, maybe a lifelong friend awaits us.

Walk Faster, Young Man

I walked away

from people who cared.

Long of leg and sure of foot

I swathed the sidewalk clear.

My spirit lived one hundred feet

in a pit that deepened.

Walled face, brick by brick

blocked another’s entry.

A dark reflection, mine,

I won’t look, I scare myself.

Why do I stride so fast?

To prove I exist but don’t matter?

A face comes that knows me.

Quick, duck.  This store will hide me.

Danger passes but I wish

that someone chased me, just once.

Pause.

No one pursued again.

A friendly voice is faster

than racing legs that want to stop.

No one called.

Walk until…