Shannon Ables's Blog, page 285

It’s All About the Bag

Whether you need a tote for day, a medium-size handbag for toodling around town or a clutch for drinks or brunch with friends or loved ones, the bag completes the outfit. I am currently smitten with the Future Glory handbag above (see the entire collection here). The simplicity, the sophisticated, yet fine handle, and the prices aren’t bad either. But I am always needing a tote for work, and in this season’s TSLL Fall Shopping Guide I have found a few I think you might like. Enjoy checking out a few outfits that include a sophisticated and timeless bag that will undoubtedly last for many seasons to come.

~STYLE INSPIRATION posts from the Archives:

~Sagacious Taste

~Lots of Stripes

~Denim & Simple Details

The post It’s All About the Bag appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.

The Wonderful Truth About Health, Happiness & Getting Older

“If you know the right ways to eat, sleep, move, and de-stress, and if you commit to creating community, meaning, and passion in your life, the years of your 40s, 50s and beyond can be some of the most rewarding and vital you have ever known.” —10 Reasons You Feel Old and Get Fat . . . and How you Can Stay Young, Slim, and Happy! by Frank Lipman, M.D.

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #120

I am pretty confident that I am not the only one who as a child observed and then consequently believed that certain physical attributes, behaviors or lack of behaviors as well as perspective and attitude were inevitable once a certain age was reached. Shockingly, forty was believed to be old in my eyes during the 1980s. It was easy to determine someone’s age based on their excessive wrinkles, greying hair, widening hips and gradually growing belly, or so I thought. To see someone in their forties and beyond that did not fit this mold was to believe they found a miracle cure or must have been blessed with youthful genes. But no . . . no.

The effects of becoming older rather than being something we all experience because we hit a certain age much like puberty, are actually a result of how we’ve been living our lives up until this point, how well we’ve been taking care of our bodies, how well we’ve been handling stress, how well we’ve been respecting the machine that we’ve been given.

There are always exceptions, yes, genetics plays a role to a point, but as Dr. Lipman points out, “we can change how our genes express themselves”. No joke. The doomed destinies modeled by familial predecessors do not have to be our own. We have so much more control than we realize. The key is knowledge and then putting into practice what we learn.

The first piece of knowledge is an approach to life that can be applied to every aspect of life, go to an expert, someone who knows their field to get the answers. Unless your great uncle is a doctor proficient in understanding how the body digests certain foods and how the brain responds to lack of sleep (did you it actually shrinks our brains?), don’t accept for one moment that he knows what your life will be like when you hit 50, 60 or 80. His life may have turned out the way it did at those ages, but how he lived his life prompted that particular outcome.

What are the components of our lives that we must tend to if indeed we are going to remain youthful, slim and truly content?

Diet (understanding the powers of food and refraining from medications as much as possible in order to allow the body to heal itself)
Sleep
Movement
Levels of Stress (finding a healthy balance)
Finding a purpose
Cultivating a community (finding your tribe)

Already a New York Times bestselling author with his book The New Health Rules: Simple Changes to Achieve Whole-Body Wellness, Dr. Lipman’s new book 10 Reasons You Feel Old and Get Fat, is a gem of well-organized information that dispels what many people believe and teaches readers how to change the outcome. The reality, as he points out, is that many, perhaps the majority of Americans, when they get older do get fat, more unhealthy and are less happy, but while there is a correlation between increased age and these negative outcomes, old age isn’t the causation. The cause is how someone has been living their lives. And after repeating bad habits over decades, the body finally begins to reveal that it can’t be the shining temple that it once was. Why? The owner forgot to tend to the necessary maintenance, or perhaps forgot to read the user’s manual.

Think of it like this. There are many new homes, brilliantly beautiful new homes with state of the art appliances and finishes going up in the Bend area. Much like a healthy newborn baby that is born to a healthy mother after a full-term pregnancy, the baby is beginning with a clean slate, just as the house is. As the years pass, the house needs to have the roof replaced or patched, and the chimney cleaned and repaired due to the weather that punishes the exterior. Inside as well, the pipes will get clogged, the hardwoods will need to be refinished and the windows cleaned. Maintenance, understanding how parts of our body (and our homes) can perform at their best is key to not needing major fixes in response to a problem, but rather small financial investments to prevent a problem.

While Dr. Lipman goes into great detail on how to live well to prevent the no longer inevitable wrath of aging, I went through and made a list of items to get you started.

1. Eat the right foods

Understand the addictive properties of sugar. Understand what eating “something sweet or starchy — a cookie, some white rice, or a white potato”, which breaks down into glucose very quickly does to your blood sugar levels. At this point, when the sugar high is in full swing, it feels good, but the “sugar crash” does not and it leaves you thinking you are still hungry. In other words, you aren’t feeling truly satiated, so you eat more, and if you reach for something more that is more sugar and starch, the nasty cycle continues, and your moods go with your sugar highs and lows.

As Dr. Lipman points out, don’t beat yourself up about not having willpower. It really isn’t. Initially it is when you choose what to eat, but if you have been eating sugary and starchy foods for a while, you are going to have a harder time weaning yourself off of them. However, the good news is, once you go through the initial 2-5 day period that is the most difficult, your body won’t crave it anymore and you will feel much better, as you are feeding your body what it actually needs, not what it thinks it needs.

2. Eat fat!

Which ones should you eat? Any “fat you can find in nature” is usually very good for you rather than fats that have been “created in laboratories and factories.” In order for your brain, YOUR BRAIN, to function properly, you need to eat fats regularly. So add to your capsule menu list the olive oil, the nut butters, the organic pastured eggs, the grass-fed butter, and the goat and sheep’s milk cheese (the list goes on, but you get the idea). And not only is fat crucial for your brain’s health, “healthy fat is crucial to staying slim and feeling young”. There are many more benefits, but these are at the top of the list.

3. Tired and fatigued no more!

Our bodies were made to handle stress, acute stress, as Dr. Lipman points out. Not chronic stress. Well, the body can handle it, but the result is becoming exhausted, becoming more prone to health ailments and gaining weight. In order to strike the right balance, we must assess our lives. Where is the stress, the continual stress coming from? Can you eradicate it? If not, how can you change how you are handling it? When we worry incessantly, when we build a daily schedule that doesn’t allow for regular rejuvenation, when we design a life in which we are always saying “yes”, but not first assessing how everything is going for us, we are ratcheting up the stress and decreasing our overall health and well-being.

4. Move your body regularly

Dr. Lipman cites Dan Buttoner’s book on happiness, The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest, as he recognizes the one thing all of the lifestyles in each of the Blue Zones have in common: the individuals were regularly physically active. Now this can mean going to the gym, but it can also mean getting outside and walking around the neighborhood, working in the garden, taking yoga, tai chi, anything that moves your body for 20-30 minutes.

One aspect that we must not forget about is the use of our tendons, ligaments and the fascia (connective tissue between muscles and organs). So be sure to incorporate into your regular fitness regimen some sort of stretching. While you don’t have to get involved with yoga, be sure to find something (he provides examples in his book of exercises you can do at home) that regularly stretches these parts of your body so as to leave them supple and not regularly tense which over time will eventually lead to aches and pain.

5. Everyday strike a balance

As I mentioned #3, acute stress is expected and easy for the body to handle well. Stress can also be good for us in certain situations to provide us with the ability to meet the challenge, give us the adrenaline, etc. Think about the presentation you have to give, the tough conversation you are going to have to have or the workout you know will be a challenge. These are good examples of stress because they are short-lived and allow us to push ourselves providing an opportunity to grow and learn. The flip-side of this is that we must balance it with rest, calm, tranquility every day. So you had an exhausting day at work. Nothing bad happened, but a lot was demanded of you, you were always “on” with no time to just breathe. Make sure when you come home, that you do breathe. That you do give yourself time to unwind without more stress. Your body and mind need it. Your quality of life needs it.

6. Cope with stress by being preventative

There are many different ways to cope with stress as you will find in the book, and perhaps you already have a handful of ways you put into practice when the stress intensifies in your life. One of the ways Dr. Lipman details is focusing on our breathing. It could be a meditation practice, it could be mindfulness or part of your exercise, but when we give ourselves the tools to combat the stress that will be part of our lives, we are better able to strike the balance we need.

7. Adhere to a healthy sleep pattern

As discussed many times on the blog, a good night’s sleep is our superhuman strength to turn a good day into a great day. By being aware of how we communicate with our mind and body as we arrive closer and closer to our bedtime, we help ensure a quality night’s rest. Be aware of what you eat and drink before turning in and try to settle into a regular pattern no matter what day of the week it is. (Here is a post on sleep you might enjoy: Benefits of a Good Night’s Sleep.)

8. The power of passion, meaning and community

When we discover what makes us come alive, we enrich the quality of our lives. When we find meaning in what we do, something that reaches beyond ourselves, we enrich the quality of our lives, and when we find our tribe and feel a part of a community that we enjoy being a part of, we enrich the quality of our lives. Each of these three components may change over the course of our lives, but we always need them to feel truly alive. To take the time and energy to find your passion is not being selfish. It is necessary. If you want to thrive, if you want to feel youthful and alive your entire life, you must have a very close relationship with yourself.

You have an amazing opportunity to live a most extraordinary life. Why not refuse to let the myths that never served you well in the first place get in the way of living a life that is completely within your control. Remember, knowledge is power and so long as you forever remain curious, old will only be indicated by the number one sees on your birth certificate, not the life you are living. Santé!

 

Petit Plaisir:
A Decadent Fig Appetizer

~click here for the entire, simple recipe

The season for figs is upon us! And when I happened upon baskets of them at my local produce stand, I pounced! So excited to try my first fig recipe as I have seen them in so many delicious looking entrées, desserts and appetizers, I immediately gave a long-awaited-recipe-to- taste a try. And, ta-dah!  Paired with some of my favorite ingredients, this decadent, yet simple recipe will leave your guests impressed and your tastebuds dancing for joy.

Did you know that figs have a short season, but conversation has begun about making it a season-less fruit here in the states? A couple of years ago NPR did a story on just this topic. Learn more about when to find figs at your local farmers’ market and much more in their article here.

Image of model Pia Gronning

The post The Wonderful Truth About Health, Happiness & Getting Older appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.

A Decadent Fig Appetizer

A Decadent Fig Appetizer

~serves 4-8 guests (16 bites), adapted from Sandra Lee’s recipe here.

The season for figs is upon us! And when I happened upon baskets of them at my local produce stand, I pounced! So excited to try my first fig recipe as I have seen them in so many delicious looking entrées, desserts and appetizers, I immediately gave a long-awaited-recipe-to- taste a try. And, ta-dah! Paired with some of my favorite ingredients, this decadent, yet simple recipe will leave your guests impressed and your tastebuds dancing for joy.

Did you know that figs have a short season, but conversation has begun about making it a season-less fruit here in the states? A couple of years ago NPR did a story on just this topic. Learn more about when to find figs at your local farmers’ market and much more in their article here.

Ingredients:

8 mission figs (smaller in size) halved
quality Goat Cheese
3 ounces of finely sliced prosciutto (1 package)
3 tablespoons of honey

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside.
Cut a small hole in the center of the flesh of each fig. Fill each hole with 1/4 teaspoon of goat cheese.
Take a prosciutto slice and tear in half, lengthwise. Wrap each fig with prosciutto, tucking the ends underneath the fig (an entire strip may not be necessary. Wrap no more than twice. Secure with a toothpick if necessary.
Place wrapped figs on prepared baking sheet, evenly spaced.
Drizzle honey evenly over each fig (about 1 teaspoon each)
Place in the oven on the top rack and roast for 8 to 10 minutes. Remove and serve immediately.

~just out of the oven~

~plated and ready to enjoy~

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This & That: September 2, 2016

Blog
— A Life in Progress

Having discovered Canadian blogger Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui ‘s blog A Life in Progress, I noticed there were a handful of overlaps with the topics we share with our readers. Reading her latest post about Today Being Enough and the blog post that brought me to her blog in the first place focusing on the topic Mediocrity, I immediately knew I wanted to share.

Film
— The Light Between Oceans

Star studded with academy award winners Rachel Weisz and Alicia Vikander, The Light Between Oceans is based on the bestselling novel by M.L. Stedman. A tragic romantic tale about a couple who is unable to have children, miraculously finding a baby who has washed upon shore, the couple (Vikander and Michael Fassbender) raise the child as their own. Weisz (the baby’s mother) eventually realizes her baby is alive and the agony begins. However, the problem is too many people love and have dutifully cared for this child, Vikander’s character has named Lucy. A behind-the-scenes interesting tidbit, the leading roles played by Vikander and Michael Fassbender exhibit extraordinary chemistry on set, and in fact, fell in love themselves with each other during the filming. Being released in theaters today, have a look at the trailer below.

— South Side with You

Premiering at Sundance this past January, John Legend produced the film South Side with You which is a romantic bio-pic about the first lady and President Obama’s first date in Chicago on an evening in 1989. Starring Parker Sawyers and Tika Sumpter, critics have been very receptive to the film based a brief description that President Obama wrote about in his second book. Released in theaters last week, I think I might just have to step into the theater this long weekend and enjoy. See what I am talking about in the trailer below:

Francophile Find
— Becoming Madame:  Inspired by reminiscences of a road less taken by Ollivia de la Valliere

If you’ve ever want to see through the eyes of someone who up and left it all for France and made a very happy and successful go at it, read Ollivia de la Valliere’s book which was released last year. A memoir detailing her decision to go to France in 2006 after leaving behind a high paying job and her fiancé, she quickly decided to make it a permanent decision. You can also follow her on her blog Becoming Madame.

Podcast
—Katie Couric

Katie Couric recently debuted her own podcast. Coined as “Unexpected, Unconventional and Un-buttoned Up”, I decided to tune in a couple weeks ago and was actually quite impressed (as one might expect being she was a beloved morning anchor). As I listened to her interview (or conversation) with Julia Louise-Dreyfus, I found the content to be playful at times, but then quite serious just as often which produced a beautiful balance. So far there are five episodes to listen to and so far, so good.

Shopping
— Closed Pullover with Alpaca and wool

TSLL Fall Shopping Guide will be released tomorrow morning for your Labor Day reading pleasure, but until then this lusciously looking soft Alpaca and wool pullover over looks to be a lovely addition to a capsule wardrobe.

—Theory Oakland DF Open-Front Trench Coat

A quality trench is a must and with long trenches being a trend worth splurging on, this one has my eye.

~recipe for Summer Waffles 4 Ways~

Say it isn’t so . . . the last unofficial weekend of summer has arrived. Why not . . . make the most of it? From delicious summer waffles to indulging in a quick getaway to savor the sweetness of a beautiful season. I don’t know about you, but it has been a fantastically memorable summer, so I will be paying it the proper due this weekend one last time.

And with it being Labor Day weekend here in the states, that means TSLL 2016 Fall Shopping Guide will be released early tomorrow morning. I have been shopping the online stores, perused the collections and dove into the fashion tomes. Now I am excited to share what to splurge on and what to save on. So whether you are getting away or staying home, I hope you have a wonderful, restful time doing whatever makes you smile. Below is some reading you might enjoy. Until Monday, bonne journée!

~TSLL French Week may be over for the next 12 months, but the French finds will keep on coming . . . 20 Perfectly Genuine & Excellent Reasons to Move to Paris

~One more . . . Why Multilingual People Have Healthier, More Engaged Brains

~Simple and indeed it does work . . . Check out a simple and proven way to hack your to-do list

~How Successful People Stay Calm . . . deep breath

The post This & That: September 2, 2016 appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.

A Stroll on the Sand in Style

As a lover of stripes, Jia Collection caught my attention and when the designer reached out to me recently (knowing I was drawn to the stripes aesthetic and French style), I was eager to work with her. Quality fabrics (linen, cashmere, cotton, silk), classic styles and an ample offering of stripes in different colors and different clothing pieces, you’ll find it all at Jia Collection.

Exclusively available to TSLL readers, receive 18% off your order with promo code TSLL18. Along with the Outfit of the Week (above), I have picked a few of my favorites from the collection below.  Enjoy perusing her online shop!

~Jia Collection Edith reversible striped top in cotton/linen blend

~J. Brand Natasha Sky High Super Skinny in Blanc or Eileen Fisher white boyfriend stretch denim

~Cole Haan Claudia leather lace-up thong sandal

~Gucci round gradient sunglasses, dark havana (on sale)

~Linen tote hobo bag in natural color~

SHOP THE OUTFIT:

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More favorite picks from Jia Collection:

~Colette knit pullover

~Elma sheath sleeveless dress

~Taylor – Pink/Beige/Grey silk/cashmere blend reversible pullover

~Catherine 100% cashmere cardigan/dress in red

~Johana reversible stripe dress

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Simple Sophisticated Style in the City

What first drew me to this space was the La Cornue’s Bay Series oven. Not only would this be a delight to cook with each day, but simply to walk by or through the kitchen may cause me to faint (okay, not really, but I would definitely stop and gawk). Wanting to see the rest of the kitchen, I learned that interior designer Jenny Wolf was hired to design this apartment located in New York City’s Chelsea Mercantile building from the skeletal-system up. An entire year was needed as they gutted the space and started from scratch (you can see the entire home here).

With a young couple down-sizing from a large home in Massachusetts to this three-bedroom, two bath abode, the goal was sophisticated with maximum comfort. Leaving some exposed brick, the farmhouse sink, the marble-top island and the bistro bar chairs, the kitchen utilizes the space with ease and beckons to be enjoyed. Shop a few of the items and similar items at the end of the post, and enjoy the tour.

SHOP THIS KITCHEN:

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~DECOR INSPIRATION posts from the Archives you might enjoy:

~Marisa Tomei’s Manhattan Apartment of Her Dreams

~Chic, Sophisticated & Grey

~A Fashionable Parisian Abode

Images One Kings Lane & My Domaine

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Why Not . . . Savor the Sunset of Summer?

“For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does not make a man blessed and happy.” — Aristotle

I noticed it for the first time Monday morning as I began my day paddle boarding. Fewer people were on the roads, more animals were about (ducks, geese, etc.) and even fewer walkers and joggers were to be seen. It certainly wasn’t because fewer people want to work out, more likely it had to do with the the change in the season. Fewer tourists were enjoying they morning runs in Bend and more Bendites had either run early in the morning or were back at work. The weather too has become more temperate and calm, but it was the annual start of the tennis event in Flushing Meadows, the U.S. Tennis Open, that signified to me that, yes, summer is winding down.

If we spend the summer months well for our individual needs, curiosities and personalities, the sunset of the season is sweet. It cannot be bitter because fall is truly magnificent and summer will return again. The sweet awareness that summer was spent well is a testament to you, the summer journeywoman who tasted what the season had to offer, indulged in what you were curious about and experienced what opportunities presented themselves. Bravo to you. Truly. You have figured out how to live well and that is no easy task.

While I have mentioned a few of the signs that summer’s end is near, below are a full list of events and occasions that signal, at least to me (I would love to hear what your signals are), the sunset of summer is upon us.

Signs that the end of summer is near:

1. The U.S. Tennis Open begins

2. The tourists become fewer and fewer

3. The September fashion tomes arrive (TSLL 2016 Fall Shopping Guide will be released to subscribers on Saturday September 3rd!)

4. Serious movies begin in theaters

There are many that have already caught my eye. Stop by each Friday to read This & That to discover what is premiering each week.

5. Well-known authors begin dropping much-anticipated books

6. Season premieres begin to be advertised

7. My pups look at me with sad eyes

Our summer schedule is sweet, and each fall season never makes it much easier to work without them.

8. The possibility of rain!

9. The new theater season begins with new plays, musicals and events.

10. The local symphony begins a new season

(Be sure to share in the comments what events or occurrences signify to you that summer is ending.)

How to savor the sunset of summer:

Enjoy favorite summer actives one more time

Depending upon how your schedule changes from the summer to fall, what activities will you miss? What daily routines or rituals will be changing somewhat? Indulge and celebrate the last time (until next year) you will be able to savor these favorite activities again.

Plan a day just for you to punctuate the shift

Especially if your life’s schedule changes dramatically regarding your responsibilities or locales, carve out a day and do everything you want. Make it special. Perhaps it will include some of your favorite summer activities or perhaps it will include a bit of extra pampering.

Reflect and celebrate

Each June, just before summer officially begins, I will sit down and set goals I want to achieve by the end. And so, at the end of the summer, I will take a moment (perhaps on my special day) and look back on all that was enjoyed, what I learned and what improvements in habits and progress toward goals were made. Sometimes we forget how much our live can change, evolve and grow in such a short period of time. Consciously choose to remember as it will bolster your confidence moving forward, but also remind you of the amazing life you get to live and be a lovely lesson to savor the everyday.

Set goals for the fall season

Now that you’ve seen what is behind you, begin to look forward. What do you want your fall to become? How do you want to feel? What do you want to enjoy? What is getting in the way? What do you need? What do you need to get rid of? What are the small steps to help you attain what you know will cultivate a more contented everyday life and make progress toward larger goals? One of the TSLL Planner Pages that many people buy individually is TSLL Goals Planner Page as it makes clear what goals you want to achieve and then provides space to break down how to make it happen into small steps. Simple, clear, effective.

Prepare for the new season

A couple of years ago I shared the September Back-to-School/Work Checklist, and it continues to hold true for what I do as I look ahead as September begins. From the beauty and style component to preparation of our homes and the everyday pleasures we look forward to ensuring our days go well, simply taking a moment to look at the details can make a tremendously positive difference.

~View 27 more ways to savor the end of the summer season here.

The gift of living on this amazing planet is that there are seasons. Granted, depending upon where we live, the seasons may be drastically different or barely display a distinct difference at all, but we do have them. And the gift of a change in season or knowing a change is inevitable is that it reminds us to savor the present, celebrate the journey and then realize there are amazing opportunities still be enjoyed ahead of us if only we choose to look for them.

Have a wonderful last day of August.

~SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~12 Ways to Celebrate the Rentrée

~Why Not . . . Make a Small Tweak? (3 part series)

~Why Not . . . Savor the Last Days of Summer?

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Button-Up for Fall

Buttoned up blouses in cotton, silk or a variety of different fabric blends will be and has always been in season as a timeless option for layering in work or play scenarios. There’s something about the collar that exudes confidence, the v-neck that elongates the neck and the classic formality that can be modified to suit the person’s personal style that I’ve always enjoyed (oh, and don’t forget the shirt dress!). Enjoy a dose of inspiration for finding a buttoned up look that speaks to your signature style.

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Why Never Giving Up Is a Very Good Idea

“To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.” —Jo Coudert, Advice From A Failure
~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #119

 

It happened this summer that I stayed put but I traveled a million miles.

Impossible in actuality, but absolutely possible figuratively when speaking about my inner world. This summer I stayed put for the most part in my new hometown Bend, Oregon. As long-time readers of TSLL blog may know, every summer prior since 2012, the summer after I wrote the first draft of my book, I have traveled at least to the east coast if not to Europe. After all, it is summer and exploration is required and desired.

And so it was my decision, something I chose with excitement, to stay put this summer, to revel in a dream coming true, and in so doing my exploration and then discovery began and occurred, all without stepping on an plane or outside the borders of Oregon.

The truth of it is, the journey began a long, long time ago. A journey to find peace, contentment, a true sense that I was doing what brought me absolute joy and also what allowed me to contribute to society, all the while reaching my full potential. As I look back now, so many pieces of the puzzle that were puzzling at the time, make sense now. Isn’t that what Steve Job shared in 2005? “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” Well, the dots are beginning to connect now, and it was my time staying put that enabled it to happen.

I recently read about Olympians who upon returning home after the games each four years sometimes find themselves in a state of “Post Olympic Stress Syndrome” as it has been coined. For four years, athletes have had a clear goal, a team to guide them, a respect and understanding from those who know what their goal is and even media at the time of the competition to put them on a pedestal (deservedly so) to revere them for their discipline, tenacity and dedication. The goal provides clarity, the support offers validity for living their lives so strictly because after all, if you can make it to the podium, it was all worth it to whomever looks at your resume. That line item is an impressive statement that most (if not all) can applaud.

The gold medalist in Rio’s decathlon Ashton Eaton (now a 2-time Olympic champion) announced that he would not be competing in Tokyo in 2020. While not entirely done with World Class competition, Tokyo was off the table. As he began to look ahead, he made this statement to The New York Times,

‘That’s what has always been good about track. The goal is very clearly defined: Try to win. Get the gold medal. And I’m able to put my energy toward that. The difficulty now is what’s the gold medal in something else? Now I have to make up my own gold medal.’

‘What’s going to be the next victory for me?’

I was drawn to this statement because the reality of finding the “gold medal” in the lives we live rest entirely upon each of us. One success to one person may be complete misery for another, and so we can’t follow the road map of someone else’s happiness. Rather we must get to know ourselves.

“It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.” —K.T. Jong

For me, it has always been a battle to convince others that I truly did enjoy living on my own. I sincerely enjoyed my own company more than most people I spent time around. As I began to tentatively trust this observation about myself, living by myself since my days at college, with each year, I began to enjoy it more and more. And the “more and more” came because I stopped trying to explain. I stopped trying to compare others’ approaches to life to mine. And so it was when I came upon an article that I shared last week in This & That, that I found myself saying, well no wonder it has been more of a struggle to convince others to accept what I have always innately found more pleasure in. 

To briefly summarize the article titled “The New Science of Single People” it points that out no actual credible, reliable research has been done on actual single people, due to the social accepted ideal that “since social science has been interested in the concept of marriage, it has endorsed the idea that everyone’s goal and likely trajectory is to get married at some point.” But as the author points out, more and more people are either choosing not to marry or delaying marriage, and the question is why. And the answer is unavailable because no research has been done on the possible contentment that can be derived from solitude, or differing personalities choosing different ways of living and accepting that not everyone need mold their life’s relationships and social constructs in the exact same manner in order to find happiness or the unrealistic expectations that set many people up for disappointment.

I share this article with you only to say that if you keep listening to yourself, really tuning in, taking note when what the outside world says really doesn’t jive with what makes you feel content, there is a great rush of relief and celebration when you realize you were on to something. Now for me, the discovery or validation in a small way came with this article because I do enjoy a life that isn’t zeroed in on “finding a man to be happy otherwise I will be miserable” and rather building a life that has multiple modes of emotional and intellectual support. I am not anti-marriage or pro-marriage. I am pro-individual contentment, tapping into what makes you happy because when we get to know ourselves, when we respect ourselves, we become happier and thus those around us that we want to share our lives with enjoy our company and the relationship becomes healthier and stronger.

But the fact remains that we have to figure out what that is. We have to venture out into the wilderness of the unknown. We have to no longer hang tight to the cord of “how one becomes an Olympic champion”. That’s easy. There’s a guide for that, a coach for that, examples to model for that. (Yes, I realize not everyone can be a decathlete champion or the next Simone Biles, but by using this analogy, I am rather trying to impress upon the point that someone’s path to greatness, contentment and happiness will never exactly be our own.) And in a very big way that’s a great thing.

Yes, believe me when I say, it is daunting to have fewer similarities than differences with people who are living a contented life. But also trust me when I say, once you find your courage and you set out to find the path and the lifestyle that is meant to be yours, when you find it, it will feel like you have traveled a million miles and experienced amazing unbelievable moments all without leaving your home. And that is the best gift you can give your life’s journey moving forward. Erika Harris has a great quote to provide some comfort about feeling lost while trying to find your true ‘home’, as if you don’t know where you fit in or who you are or how to find the life that is meant to be your very own:

“It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where ‘Home’ is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.” 

Now, I cannot know when you will have your aha moment of realizing you have found your ‘home’. Everyone’s will be different based upon a variety of factors: how much you have to discover, how much you have to learn, how much courage you are willing to muster and how trusting you are of your compass, but if you refuse to give up, it will happen. And as Lucille Ball shares, “It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.” When the self-discovery begins to happen, you will be able to put in place a vision which will provide you clarity and you will find yourself enjoying each day all the more.  You will find yourself being more at ease, at peace and better able to say no or yes without hesitation because you know the life you want to build for yourself and you will know more clearly how to build it.

“Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.” —Matthew Arnold

One of my favorite quotes that I repeat often, and even my mother has uttered to me as discuss life and my journey from time to time is “As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.” I wrote an entire post about this specific topic a few years ago, and it ties in perfectly with the idea of never giving up. Never stop asking questions about which way you should go. Because the truth is, the answers are out there and they are worth finding.

~SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~Why Not . . . Gather the Essentials for Life?

~Why Not . . . Live a Lovely Life?

~Authenticity: The Courage to Be Yourself

 

~This week’s The Simple Sophisticate sponsor: Four Athletics

Remember to use the promo code to take an additional 15% off your purchase: simple15

Petit Plaisir
~Bud Vases

A simple and inexpensive way to bring a touch of Mother Nature into your home is to place a single bud or flower into a beautiful petite vase. Below you will find inspiration from my desk and all other image are from my mother’s portfolio as she supplies flowers for local B & B’s in her hometown with her business Judy’s Bloom’s. An expert with more than forty years experience, all the flowers and plants used come from her garden and I regularly get inspiration and information from her regarding creative ways to incorporate and arrange flowers, leaves and anything that beautifully grows from the ground. Also, I have shopped for a few different bud vases to add to your collection. Enjoy!

SHOP Bud Vases:

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Images:  (1) source (all bud vase images via I, except the desktop image )

The post Why Never Giving Up Is a Very Good Idea appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.

2016 TSLL French Week Round-Up

Well, à l’année prochaine (until next year), the first TSLL French week has wrapped up, but not without me sharing something I just discovered, and I couldn’t NOT share with you. After all, reservations are filling up fast, and it would be an amazing experience. You may remember that earlier this year I shared in a Decor Inspiration post that Julia & Paul Child’s home in Provence was for sale. Well, it wasn’t on the market for long, but how it all worked out is good news for us all: you can rent it and stay in her 3 bedroom home through Airbnb. I am not kidding. I would not joke about this. Visit the reservation page here and discover even more beautiful image of the property. 

And on that note, I will bid adieu to a week that was full of fantastic conversation, comments and truly was a pleasure to curate and share with you all. Below are all of the posts (11!) that went live this week. And rest assured this will be an annual event. Simply find Coco Chanel and Julia Child’s birthday’s on the calendar (August 19 & 15th respectively), and the first Monday that falls between the two will kick off the annual TSLL French Week. Have a wonderful remainder of your weekend. À demain (until tomorrow)!

~How to Be Chic with Fiona Ferris (podcast)

~What I’ve Learned Since French Class, So Far: Part Trois

~Style Inspiration: French Street Style

~10 Fantastique French-Inspired Blogs

~Why Not . . . Be Fascinated by the French Culture?

~Soufflé au Chocolat: Simple, Not Scary

~Decor Inspiration: French-Inspired California Cottage

~Outfit of the Week: Effortlessly Feminine Chic

~This & That: August 26, 2016 {French books, French films, French clothing and more!}

~Life Lessons from Julia Child & How to Flip an Omelette

~Paris, Relationships & Our Truest Selves: My Interview with Eleanor Brown (podcast)

~And for more French-Inspired living posts, recommendations, blogs, etc., visit TSLL French-Inspired Living page

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