Mark Henry's Blog, page 14
February 18, 2009
Guess What Kind of Scene I’m Writing…
If all I’m listening to is Felix da Housecat…
Bonus points for naming the semi-famous actress in the Something 4 Porno vid. Here’s another one…
Loves it!
February 17, 2009
Weekend Wrap Up
Another long weekend.
Caroline took off Friday and we saw a double feature of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Milk with friends. We’re a bit obsessive about Academy Award nominees this time each year (I even blogged about the Oscars today at the League of Reluctant Adults). Both were excellent, though the edge goes to Milk. I still think Slumdog Millionaire is going to take the top prize, but opinions are like assholes, just like they say.
I had a great Valentine’s Day dinner/movies/oth
February 9, 2009
Zombie Stimulus Package
It's hard out there for a zombie.
Maybe moreso than for even people--I know that'll be a little tough to take, especially for those of you effected harshly by our sad economic climate. But think about it. With so many people out of work, hours slashed, or just worried about the future, spending their time at home because they can't afford to go out to dinner, a movie, or the bookstore, zombies are just shit out of luck. Why it's getting so you people will forego a frickin' coffee.
Zombies. Are. Starving.
There's no one on the streets and the dead are piling up on park benches and on their friend's couches, insides growling with hunger (or the odd rodent).
It's a goddamn epidemic, is what it is.
Amanda Feral's feeling the brunt of bad economic decision-making, too, but she's got an answer to all the madness (granted not the most altruistic answer, but an answer nonetheless). A multi-faceted solution-focused plan to get people back on the streets and into the arms (and bellies) of their zombie friends (also to get people buying her second memoir, Road Trip of the Living Dead *)
That's right...
It's a Zombie Stimulus Package, people!
How's that, you ask?
You want to go out to dinner, but it costs so damn much that you grab a box of mac 'n cheese instead. That's a shame. With Amanda's plan in place, you have the opportunity to march your sad ass right on over to the Olive Garden, or the Outback, or even the Cold Stone Creamery (for you carb addicts). She may even spot you some gas money, or a coffee, or some such.
It's kind of like a contest.
No, it is a contest!
With three ginormous huge prizes!
First: Dinner and a movie!
You and your lovely date/sexual target can dine at a restaurant of your choice as long as it's either (Cold Stone Creamery, McDonalds, Outback Steakhouse, Bonefish Grill, Chili’s/On the Border/Maggianos, Damon’s, Uno Chicago Grill, Red Lobster, Pizza Hut, Baja Fresh, Cracker Barrel, Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, or California Pizza Kitchen) and doesn't go over the $50 Amanda's willing to load on the card (I told you Amanda's going through hard times). You'll also be on your way to see some fine cinema magic (at a Regal or AMC). A prize package totalling an ungodly $75! She might even be persuaded to throw in a signed Happy Hour, or a pair of her panties, in case you don't get lucky (Or Ricardo's for all you ladies out there).
Second Prize: Coffee and the Gas to Get There!
That's right, fuel up times two! You could win a Starbucks gift card and a gas card, too (as long as it's a station that Amanda can get to around here, Chevron, 76, Texaco, Shell, you know, big name ones). This prize package is worth a whopping $25 and ought to get you within bite radius of a few zombies, so...I mean, good times.
Third Prize: Books, Books, Books!!!
Amanda knows you people love your "urban fantasy," so she's unleashed her ghost writer on some of his peeps to gather up a basket, at last count there were 10 books in there. Some signed some not. Authors like Michele Bardsley, Dakota Cassidy and Jaye Wells are throwing in some of their own books and some of their favorites as well and no, obviously this won't get you out of the house, but you could promise to read them in a shady park, or under an overpass where you might be more readily accessible. That's...if you were a thoughtful person.
Now...
What might it take to get in on this fantastically stimulating contest?
Simply, preorder a copy of Road Trip of the Living Dead , from an online retailer (like Mysterious Galaxy, Powell's, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Borders) or your local store (though that will require an additional step cuz you'll have to scan) and forward the receipt to Amanda...
zombiestimulus@markhenry.us
I'll announce the winners on February 24th. For the rest of you, that's when you should start seeing books hitting store shelves, though it might be closer to March 1st, hard to say.
Good luck, everyone
...and if you don't win, might I suggest simply taking more walks, alone, without weapons.
* For a taste of Road Trip of the Living Dead and an interview with said ghostwriter, Mark Henry (who loves to take all the credit), check out Tale Chasing for a virtual Reading! Chapter One to be exact.
Maybe moreso than for even people--I know that'll be a little tough to take, especially for those of you effected harshly by our sad economic climate. But think about it. With so many people out of work, hours slashed, or just worried about the future, spending their time at home because they can't afford to go out to dinner, a movie, or the bookstore, zombies are just shit out of luck. Why it's getting so you people will forego a frickin' coffee.
Zombies. Are. Starving.There's no one on the streets and the dead are piling up on park benches and on their friend's couches, insides growling with hunger (or the odd rodent).
It's a goddamn epidemic, is what it is.
Amanda Feral's feeling the brunt of bad economic decision-making, too, but she's got an answer to all the madness (granted not the most altruistic answer, but an answer nonetheless). A multi-faceted solution-focused plan to get people back on the streets and into the arms (and bellies) of their zombie friends (also to get people buying her second memoir, Road Trip of the Living Dead *)
That's right...
It's a Zombie Stimulus Package, people!
How's that, you ask?You want to go out to dinner, but it costs so damn much that you grab a box of mac 'n cheese instead. That's a shame. With Amanda's plan in place, you have the opportunity to march your sad ass right on over to the Olive Garden, or the Outback, or even the Cold Stone Creamery (for you carb addicts). She may even spot you some gas money, or a coffee, or some such.
It's kind of like a contest.
No, it is a contest!
With three ginormous huge prizes!
First: Dinner and a movie!
You and your lovely date/sexual target can dine at a restaurant of your choice as long as it's either (Cold Stone Creamery, McDonalds, Outback Steakhouse, Bonefish Grill, Chili’s/On the Border/Maggianos, Damon’s, Uno Chicago Grill, Red Lobster, Pizza Hut, Baja Fresh, Cracker Barrel, Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, or California Pizza Kitchen) and doesn't go over the $50 Amanda's willing to load on the card (I told you Amanda's going through hard times). You'll also be on your way to see some fine cinema magic (at a Regal or AMC). A prize package totalling an ungodly $75! She might even be persuaded to throw in a signed Happy Hour, or a pair of her panties, in case you don't get lucky (Or Ricardo's for all you ladies out there).
Second Prize: Coffee and the Gas to Get There!
That's right, fuel up times two! You could win a Starbucks gift card and a gas card, too (as long as it's a station that Amanda can get to around here, Chevron, 76, Texaco, Shell, you know, big name ones). This prize package is worth a whopping $25 and ought to get you within bite radius of a few zombies, so...I mean, good times.
Third Prize: Books, Books, Books!!!
Amanda knows you people love your "urban fantasy," so she's unleashed her ghost writer on some of his peeps to gather up a basket, at last count there were 10 books in there. Some signed some not. Authors like Michele Bardsley, Dakota Cassidy and Jaye Wells are throwing in some of their own books and some of their favorites as well and no, obviously this won't get you out of the house, but you could promise to read them in a shady park, or under an overpass where you might be more readily accessible. That's...if you were a thoughtful person.
Now...What might it take to get in on this fantastically stimulating contest?
Simply, preorder a copy of Road Trip of the Living Dead , from an online retailer (like Mysterious Galaxy, Powell's, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Borders) or your local store (though that will require an additional step cuz you'll have to scan) and forward the receipt to Amanda...
zombiestimulus@markhenry.us
I'll announce the winners on February 24th. For the rest of you, that's when you should start seeing books hitting store shelves, though it might be closer to March 1st, hard to say.
Good luck, everyone
...and if you don't win, might I suggest simply taking more walks, alone, without weapons.
* For a taste of Road Trip of the Living Dead and an interview with said ghostwriter, Mark Henry (who loves to take all the credit), check out Tale Chasing for a virtual Reading! Chapter One to be exact.
February 2, 2009
Pondering...
I haven't blogged over here in quite a while and wanted people to know, that if you liked Burlesque of the Damned, then you should check out my new blog.
In fact, go there now!
In fact, go there now!
December 14, 2008
Barely Escaped Winter's Assassination Attempt..
Barely. But in the end, here I am safe and sound and ready to recap an eventful weekend that will forever be known as Team Seattle Con (Oh...but Richelle is seething at those words). Three straight days of togetherness, mockery, and HIGH art! I've already talked about Cherie and Caitlin's signing (and if you're reading this on my Burlesque of the Damned blog, sorry, I've all but abandoned my 1st born blog these days, you can catch up here), which was fantastic and if you're local and you missed it then you suck.
Saturday was a long one, cleaning the house, shopping for groceries and liquor like it was my secret shame (the first one is), also setting up the upstairs for holiday craft time! Made my Sandra Lee Meatballs (Semi-Homemade, bitches!) that involve French Dressing, Orange Marmalade and soy sauce, and an alternative XXXmas playlist. The theme of the night did seem to be porn, as Caroline found the Directv porn channels now included BONUS movie descriptions. And with fine cinema like Who's Nailin' Paylin and Dr. Filthy's Cream Poles 5, who doesn't want to know more?
The drinks of the evening, because I'm certain you want to know, were the Peppermint Stick Martini and the Caramel Apple Shot!!! So guaranteed to give you a hangover, all you need to recreate the experience is have a friend slam you in the back of the head with a carving board.
Here's the specs:
Peppermint Stick
1 ounce Peppermint Schnapps
1 1/2 ounce Creme de Cacao
1 ounce Half and Half
Shake with ice and strain into martini glass, add candy cane for garnish and to turn that shit pinker than panty stains!
Caramel Apple (and dear God help you, this tastes like melted sex)
1 shot Sour Apple Pucker
1 shot Butterscotch Schnapps
Shake with ice and pour yourself one fat ass shot, or two polite ones for guests!
Every year we have a white elephant gift exchange (which is apparently not politically correct, though I'm not sure I understand why, nor do I care, in case you're considering explaining), because where else could you acquire these fantastic parting gifts?
That's right! You're not seeing things. That is the KISS trivia game in keepsake tin box alongside the Spongebob Squarepants digital thermometer! See that big blocky safety head? Now I won't keep losing thermometers in my colon (YAY!!!). Synde got me the Travel Writing book, which I totally love and if I could would be my second job for sure. She was thoughtful enough to wrap it in this lovely paper...
....which, if Sid Haig doesn't turn your cold callous Holiday Heart into Tiny Tim's goose-eatin' bundle of hope, then nothing will.
Remember when I said holiday craft time? Well I wasn't kidding. Here in this candid but, I think you'll agree, poignant still life, Team Seattle (and auxilliary, but minus Kat and Richelle), make with the creation of gift bags and tags...
They also made with the naughty talk, but I'm not supposed to bring that up.
Today, we went to Ellen's Cookie Party, hoping the entire time not to be snowed in and forced to break the bank on some $300 a night hotel (Seattle's a tad pricey in the accommodations department. Here's TS (not transsexuals) engaged in pastry decor and blurry as hell--did I mention I was hungover?
My primary order of business was the creation of the ultimate in zombie cookie outbreaks, but the best I could manage were this pair of corpses suffering from matching traumatic brain injuries (I am particularly proud of the gingerbread man's severed arm gore)...
In this shot the lovely and talented Kat Richardson is really too excited about hot apple cider. Really. Too. Too. Too. I did try some and it was delicious as were the plethora of cheeses and charcouterie.
Zombie cookies aside, what cookie party is complete without a non-descript mystery cookie? Here's mine...
I'll make it easy for you in handy multiple choice format.
Is the above cookie...
a) Bleeding Heart of Fatima.
b) Dreidel gone horribly wrong.
c) Festive holiday but plug with unfortunate crunchy residue.
d) All of the above.
That's all for now. Thanks for playing!
Saturday was a long one, cleaning the house, shopping for groceries and liquor like it was my secret shame (the first one is), also setting up the upstairs for holiday craft time! Made my Sandra Lee Meatballs (Semi-Homemade, bitches!) that involve French Dressing, Orange Marmalade and soy sauce, and an alternative XXXmas playlist. The theme of the night did seem to be porn, as Caroline found the Directv porn channels now included BONUS movie descriptions. And with fine cinema like Who's Nailin' Paylin and Dr. Filthy's Cream Poles 5, who doesn't want to know more?
The drinks of the evening, because I'm certain you want to know, were the Peppermint Stick Martini and the Caramel Apple Shot!!! So guaranteed to give you a hangover, all you need to recreate the experience is have a friend slam you in the back of the head with a carving board.
Here's the specs:
Peppermint Stick
1 ounce Peppermint Schnapps
1 1/2 ounce Creme de Cacao
1 ounce Half and Half
Shake with ice and strain into martini glass, add candy cane for garnish and to turn that shit pinker than panty stains!
Caramel Apple (and dear God help you, this tastes like melted sex)
1 shot Sour Apple Pucker
1 shot Butterscotch Schnapps
Shake with ice and pour yourself one fat ass shot, or two polite ones for guests!
Every year we have a white elephant gift exchange (which is apparently not politically correct, though I'm not sure I understand why, nor do I care, in case you're considering explaining), because where else could you acquire these fantastic parting gifts?
That's right! You're not seeing things. That is the KISS trivia game in keepsake tin box alongside the Spongebob Squarepants digital thermometer! See that big blocky safety head? Now I won't keep losing thermometers in my colon (YAY!!!). Synde got me the Travel Writing book, which I totally love and if I could would be my second job for sure. She was thoughtful enough to wrap it in this lovely paper...
....which, if Sid Haig doesn't turn your cold callous Holiday Heart into Tiny Tim's goose-eatin' bundle of hope, then nothing will.
Remember when I said holiday craft time? Well I wasn't kidding. Here in this candid but, I think you'll agree, poignant still life, Team Seattle (and auxilliary, but minus Kat and Richelle), make with the creation of gift bags and tags...
They also made with the naughty talk, but I'm not supposed to bring that up.
Today, we went to Ellen's Cookie Party, hoping the entire time not to be snowed in and forced to break the bank on some $300 a night hotel (Seattle's a tad pricey in the accommodations department. Here's TS (not transsexuals) engaged in pastry decor and blurry as hell--did I mention I was hungover?
My primary order of business was the creation of the ultimate in zombie cookie outbreaks, but the best I could manage were this pair of corpses suffering from matching traumatic brain injuries (I am particularly proud of the gingerbread man's severed arm gore)...
In this shot the lovely and talented Kat Richardson is really too excited about hot apple cider. Really. Too. Too. Too. I did try some and it was delicious as were the plethora of cheeses and charcouterie.
Zombie cookies aside, what cookie party is complete without a non-descript mystery cookie? Here's mine...
I'll make it easy for you in handy multiple choice format.
Is the above cookie...
a) Bleeding Heart of Fatima.
b) Dreidel gone horribly wrong.
c) Festive holiday but plug with unfortunate crunchy residue.
d) All of the above.
That's all for now. Thanks for playing!
December 1, 2008
A Whole New Website and 4 Other Things
So this is one of them 5 things posts. I'm really just touching base to tell people that the new website contest had a bit of a glitch and at least 10 contest entries got marked as spam. Ugh. If you think that might be you then head on back to markhenry.us.
1. Like I said, markhenry.us has a totally new look and it's actually a for-real website now with lots of fun content, a section in Amanda's voice (Amanda's NSFW voice, I should say) and some cool zombie extras. Check it. I mean, if you want...oh...this:
2. Caroline and I went to see Quantum of Solace over the weekend and while we didn't love it as much as Casino Royale, it's still leaps and bounds above the Remington Steele travesties and don't even get me started on Dalton, cuz I'll vomit all over this keyboard.
3. Speaking of the weekend, on Saturday I got to be all grown up and go to lunch with new author adults, including good friend Lauren Dane, who you'll know from video blogs of her her and partner in crime, Megan Hart on Dane/Hart. Her first New York book, Undercover is out TODAY. You'll be needing to pick up a copy of that little sexy, poste haste. Especially when you see this cover, it's totally bonerfied!
4. Do you guys send out Holiday cards? We do. And I'm addressing some this afternoon. Probably won't get to them all due to low word count guilt. I really need to finish another chapter on The Dark Rites of Joe Barkley before I'm forced to flagellate myself.
5. Shit I can't think of a 5th one. If you were me, what would be my 5th thing?
1. Like I said, markhenry.us has a totally new look and it's actually a for-real website now with lots of fun content, a section in Amanda's voice (Amanda's NSFW voice, I should say) and some cool zombie extras. Check it. I mean, if you want...oh...this:
2. Caroline and I went to see Quantum of Solace over the weekend and while we didn't love it as much as Casino Royale, it's still leaps and bounds above the Remington Steele travesties and don't even get me started on Dalton, cuz I'll vomit all over this keyboard.
3. Speaking of the weekend, on Saturday I got to be all grown up and go to lunch with new author adults, including good friend Lauren Dane, who you'll know from video blogs of her her and partner in crime, Megan Hart on Dane/Hart. Her first New York book, Undercover is out TODAY. You'll be needing to pick up a copy of that little sexy, poste haste. Especially when you see this cover, it's totally bonerfied!
4. Do you guys send out Holiday cards? We do. And I'm addressing some this afternoon. Probably won't get to them all due to low word count guilt. I really need to finish another chapter on The Dark Rites of Joe Barkley before I'm forced to flagellate myself.
5. Shit I can't think of a 5th one. If you were me, what would be my 5th thing?
November 26, 2008
Newsy Stuff!
Now that True Blood's over I didn't think I'd have all that much to look forward to. You see, Caroline and I had been going over to our friend Jo's house, along with my best friend Kevin to watch us some nasty vampire shit. And when it was over I was feeling a little let down. So when I got home, I checked my email and found out some awesome news!
The organizers of the Dreamin' in Dallas conference, okayed our (along with celebrity scribe, Jaye Wells) workshop and will even be footing my travel and hotel bill. This may not seem to be a big deal to you guys that travel for a living, but when you're a midlist author, conferences are expensive and the travel to get there and stay is rarely paid for by anyone but your dwindling bank account or nearly maxed out credit cards.
So I'm totally peeing myself. Plus I'll get to see Jaye and our friend Leah again, and of course, the lovely and talented Dakota Cassidy and maybe even Michele Bardsley (who coincidentally is the subject of today's Barely Sane Interview at the League. Check it cuz there's an awesome contest, too).
In other news, tomorrow's Turkey Day and I'll be cooking side dishes and pies tonight along with the rest of America. But tomorrow, I'll be thankful that I finished the final tweaking on the redesign of my website.
The Grand Reopening of markhenry.us is Monday, December 1st. Complete with a contest, lots of vulgarity, Amanda, Wendy and Gil reviewing movies and shit. You don't want to miss out and I'll be sure to remind you.
What are y'all gonna be thankful for?
The organizers of the Dreamin' in Dallas conference, okayed our (along with celebrity scribe, Jaye Wells) workshop and will even be footing my travel and hotel bill. This may not seem to be a big deal to you guys that travel for a living, but when you're a midlist author, conferences are expensive and the travel to get there and stay is rarely paid for by anyone but your dwindling bank account or nearly maxed out credit cards.
So I'm totally peeing myself. Plus I'll get to see Jaye and our friend Leah again, and of course, the lovely and talented Dakota Cassidy and maybe even Michele Bardsley (who coincidentally is the subject of today's Barely Sane Interview at the League. Check it cuz there's an awesome contest, too).
In other news, tomorrow's Turkey Day and I'll be cooking side dishes and pies tonight along with the rest of America. But tomorrow, I'll be thankful that I finished the final tweaking on the redesign of my website.
The Grand Reopening of markhenry.us is Monday, December 1st. Complete with a contest, lots of vulgarity, Amanda, Wendy and Gil reviewing movies and shit. You don't want to miss out and I'll be sure to remind you.
What are y'all gonna be thankful for?
