AVIS Viswanathan's Blog, page 22
August 18, 2015
Life lessons from the “Sowcar” of them all - Janaki
You are truly wealthy when you have been enriched by Life’s lessons – when you have gotten better and not bitter with Life’s experiences!
Sowcar Janaki: Picture Courtesy - InternetLast evening, as part of the Madras Week celebrations, we had an opportunity to interact with Sowcar Janaki, the South-Indian superstar of the 50s and 60s. Janaki made her debut in 1949 in the Telugu film, opposite N.T.Rama Rao, Shavukar (the title means wealthy person; and its corrupt version in Tamil is Sowcar) – the film was a big hit, it was remade in Tamil, and she has since been known as Sowcar Janaki!
Janaki, at 84 (she will be 85 this December; she shares her birthday with Rajnikant – December 12), oozes charm, is full of energy and is, simply, alive to the moment. Her career spans 67 years and she’s still active – she’s currently shooting for a Telugu film in Hyderabad.
After the story of her Life and films was presented by noted film historian Mohan Raman, Sowcaramma shared some nuggets of wisdom in response to questions from the audience. Each answer of hers is a learning, a Life lesson for us to reflect upon and imbibe:
Q: Has being a linguist (she knows several Indian languages and speaks impeccable English with a proper British accent) helped you through your career?A: Absolutely. But it is not about just knowing languages. It is about your willingness to learn. I am still learning.
Q: Your immediate family did not allow you to join films when you were still unmarried. You proved everyone wrong by joining films after your child was born. What were the naysayers’ reactions to you after you became a star?A: Survival teaches you many things. Among them is the need to be true to yourself and not worry about what others have to say. I simply shut myself out to the opinions of others. I needed to join films because I needed to earn money to provide for my family. As long as I was doing what I was good at to be a bread-winner I did not see any value in considering what others had to say. Yes, they all flocked to me after I made it big. But by then my experiences had taught me how to not put down people while still keeping them at a distance.
Q: How does a day in your Life look like?A: Why? (Laughs) I am just an ordinary human being. I work in films. Just as others work elsewhere. I learnt early on not to cling on to fame and name. I know one day you will be stripped off everything – your name, your fame, your money, your glory – all this will go. I cook. I potter around my garden. I don’t have anyone do anything for me that I can do myself. So I lead a fairly active day. I always count my blessings – fortunately at my age, I don’t have a sugar factory (diabetes) or an oil factory (cholesterol). And I have this audience in front of me. Aren’t these blessings? I consider myself very lucky!
Her nickname may be Sowcaramma. But she’s wealthier than the most materially rich person in the world. Because she has the wealth of wisdom gained from a lifetime of experiences! If you internalize the essence each of her answers in the context of your Life, you too may just grow a wee bit richer than you already are!
Sowcar Janaki: Picture Courtesy - InternetLast evening, as part of the Madras Week celebrations, we had an opportunity to interact with Sowcar Janaki, the South-Indian superstar of the 50s and 60s. Janaki made her debut in 1949 in the Telugu film, opposite N.T.Rama Rao, Shavukar (the title means wealthy person; and its corrupt version in Tamil is Sowcar) – the film was a big hit, it was remade in Tamil, and she has since been known as Sowcar Janaki! Janaki, at 84 (she will be 85 this December; she shares her birthday with Rajnikant – December 12), oozes charm, is full of energy and is, simply, alive to the moment. Her career spans 67 years and she’s still active – she’s currently shooting for a Telugu film in Hyderabad.
After the story of her Life and films was presented by noted film historian Mohan Raman, Sowcaramma shared some nuggets of wisdom in response to questions from the audience. Each answer of hers is a learning, a Life lesson for us to reflect upon and imbibe:
Q: Has being a linguist (she knows several Indian languages and speaks impeccable English with a proper British accent) helped you through your career?A: Absolutely. But it is not about just knowing languages. It is about your willingness to learn. I am still learning.
Q: Your immediate family did not allow you to join films when you were still unmarried. You proved everyone wrong by joining films after your child was born. What were the naysayers’ reactions to you after you became a star?A: Survival teaches you many things. Among them is the need to be true to yourself and not worry about what others have to say. I simply shut myself out to the opinions of others. I needed to join films because I needed to earn money to provide for my family. As long as I was doing what I was good at to be a bread-winner I did not see any value in considering what others had to say. Yes, they all flocked to me after I made it big. But by then my experiences had taught me how to not put down people while still keeping them at a distance.
Q: How does a day in your Life look like?A: Why? (Laughs) I am just an ordinary human being. I work in films. Just as others work elsewhere. I learnt early on not to cling on to fame and name. I know one day you will be stripped off everything – your name, your fame, your money, your glory – all this will go. I cook. I potter around my garden. I don’t have anyone do anything for me that I can do myself. So I lead a fairly active day. I always count my blessings – fortunately at my age, I don’t have a sugar factory (diabetes) or an oil factory (cholesterol). And I have this audience in front of me. Aren’t these blessings? I consider myself very lucky!
Her nickname may be Sowcaramma. But she’s wealthier than the most materially rich person in the world. Because she has the wealth of wisdom gained from a lifetime of experiences! If you internalize the essence each of her answers in the context of your Life, you too may just grow a wee bit richer than you already are!
August 17, 2015
Don’t shut yourself to love
It is fine to fail in love in Life. The bigger tragedy is to not get any love or, worse, shut
yourself to love.
I read the story of a 62-year-old man from Bihar yesterday. In his early twenties he had an affair with a South-Indian, Tam Bram, girl. Her parents had her hurriedly married off to a Tam Bram engineer when they heard of the affair. Today, 39 years hence, the man still pines for her. He lives in Nainital presently but visits Hyderabad each year just to see her. He recently wrote this on facebook: “Today she has 2 kids; one son married and the other son is in the United States. She also has a grandchild, a girl. She lives in Hyderabad. Every year for the last 39 years, I have gone to see her. I don't meet her or make her even aware that I am there. I don't want her to feel embarrassed. I guess I live my Life through her. I never knew why she didn't have the courage to fight for “us” – something that I was willing to do. I guess I will never know. I am 62, unmarried, retired; I live alone in a three bedroom cottage, and today, when I reflect back, I wonder if I made the right choice?”
Clearly, this man is clinging on to his past. He has simply shut himself to love. It is fine to fail in love. Sometimes things don’t work out. Either before marriage or, as it often happens, even after marriage. The truth is marriage plays no role in helping two people relate to each other. When the relating stops, the relationship ends – whether or not you marry someone. In this man’s case, his beau succumbed to the pressure she faced from her parents – a story that has been played over and over and over again in many a Bollywood film right up until the late 1990s. In fact, films of those days merely portrayed what society was experiencing. By clinging on to what he believes is true love, the man has shut himself out for 39 long years. He need not have married again. But he surely could have been open to allowing himself to be loved and cared for.
Interestingly, this man and his story are but a metaphor. The learning from his story applies to all of us – whatever be our contexts. His is a tale of a lost relationship. But so many of us are trapped in the past too. We are clinging on to something which is dead. By holding on to what isn’t there, we are missing out on what is. And what is, is the perfect present – the now. Where love is in abundance. Where peace is in plenty. But to experience all of it, we must be present here – in the now.
Ask yourself: “What am I clinging on to?” Let go of whatever that hasn’t worked out or worked for you. Simply let go! Open yourself up and offer yourself to the opportunity in the moment. Then you will feel the difference. Your Life will be filled with love, peace and joy!
I read the story of a 62-year-old man from Bihar yesterday. In his early twenties he had an affair with a South-Indian, Tam Bram, girl. Her parents had her hurriedly married off to a Tam Bram engineer when they heard of the affair. Today, 39 years hence, the man still pines for her. He lives in Nainital presently but visits Hyderabad each year just to see her. He recently wrote this on facebook: “Today she has 2 kids; one son married and the other son is in the United States. She also has a grandchild, a girl. She lives in Hyderabad. Every year for the last 39 years, I have gone to see her. I don't meet her or make her even aware that I am there. I don't want her to feel embarrassed. I guess I live my Life through her. I never knew why she didn't have the courage to fight for “us” – something that I was willing to do. I guess I will never know. I am 62, unmarried, retired; I live alone in a three bedroom cottage, and today, when I reflect back, I wonder if I made the right choice?”
Clearly, this man is clinging on to his past. He has simply shut himself to love. It is fine to fail in love. Sometimes things don’t work out. Either before marriage or, as it often happens, even after marriage. The truth is marriage plays no role in helping two people relate to each other. When the relating stops, the relationship ends – whether or not you marry someone. In this man’s case, his beau succumbed to the pressure she faced from her parents – a story that has been played over and over and over again in many a Bollywood film right up until the late 1990s. In fact, films of those days merely portrayed what society was experiencing. By clinging on to what he believes is true love, the man has shut himself out for 39 long years. He need not have married again. But he surely could have been open to allowing himself to be loved and cared for.Interestingly, this man and his story are but a metaphor. The learning from his story applies to all of us – whatever be our contexts. His is a tale of a lost relationship. But so many of us are trapped in the past too. We are clinging on to something which is dead. By holding on to what isn’t there, we are missing out on what is. And what is, is the perfect present – the now. Where love is in abundance. Where peace is in plenty. But to experience all of it, we must be present here – in the now.
Ask yourself: “What am I clinging on to?” Let go of whatever that hasn’t worked out or worked for you. Simply let go! Open yourself up and offer yourself to the opportunity in the moment. Then you will feel the difference. Your Life will be filled with love, peace and joy!
Adapt, Adjust and Accommodate: Life’s best mantra
Our lives are tailored to take the most unpredictable turns. The only way then to live your Life, if you want to be happy and peaceful, is to be willing to adapt to, adjust with and accommodate the Life that comes your way.
Someone we know recently told us that he was preparing for “exploring the unknown” next year, when he turns 49 and is in his 50th year. So he is getting ready to quit the trappings of a regular job and take “the plunge”. As I heard him share his plans, I thought to myself, while it is always good to plan the Life that you want, it also very important to be willing to accept the Life that you get. This means we must not cling on to or be rigid about our plans for our lives. Because there will be times when Life will serve you a menu that you neither wanted nor ordered!
Consider the story of Anu Aggarwal, the star of Mahesh Bhatt’s Aashiqui(1990) and Mani Ratnam’s Thiruda Thiruda(1993). Her recently launched autobiography Anusual - Memoir Of A Girl Who Came Back From The Dead (HarperCollins India, 192 pages, Rs.299; I haven’t read it yet), I believe, candidly takes us through her pretty eventful Life. She survives a horrifying car crash in 1999, which left her in a 29-day coma. She then takes sanyas – realizing in the bargain that godmen and their aura are neither true and nor do they exist. When she comes out to being her own self, “a voice from within answered”. And that’s how Anusual was born. Can you even imagine that one of Bollywood’s most successful heroines – Aashiqui which completed 25 years last month – was literally “gone with the wind”? And had it not been for a bunch of doctors and Anu’s own fight, she might have been lost in that car crash.
Anu’s story, yet again, tell us this: that you cannot plan your Life beyond a point. You simply have to live it – taking it as it comes. Planning is not a crime. But clinging on to the plan, and resisting Life’s design that often times tears your plans down – that resistance is what will make you miserable. So, the best mantra is be not just willing, but ready too, at any time to adapt to, adjust with, and accommodate what Life has in store for you!
Someone we know recently told us that he was preparing for “exploring the unknown” next year, when he turns 49 and is in his 50th year. So he is getting ready to quit the trappings of a regular job and take “the plunge”. As I heard him share his plans, I thought to myself, while it is always good to plan the Life that you want, it also very important to be willing to accept the Life that you get. This means we must not cling on to or be rigid about our plans for our lives. Because there will be times when Life will serve you a menu that you neither wanted nor ordered!
Consider the story of Anu Aggarwal, the star of Mahesh Bhatt’s Aashiqui(1990) and Mani Ratnam’s Thiruda Thiruda(1993). Her recently launched autobiography Anusual - Memoir Of A Girl Who Came Back From The Dead (HarperCollins India, 192 pages, Rs.299; I haven’t read it yet), I believe, candidly takes us through her pretty eventful Life. She survives a horrifying car crash in 1999, which left her in a 29-day coma. She then takes sanyas – realizing in the bargain that godmen and their aura are neither true and nor do they exist. When she comes out to being her own self, “a voice from within answered”. And that’s how Anusual was born. Can you even imagine that one of Bollywood’s most successful heroines – Aashiqui which completed 25 years last month – was literally “gone with the wind”? And had it not been for a bunch of doctors and Anu’s own fight, she might have been lost in that car crash.Anu’s story, yet again, tell us this: that you cannot plan your Life beyond a point. You simply have to live it – taking it as it comes. Planning is not a crime. But clinging on to the plan, and resisting Life’s design that often times tears your plans down – that resistance is what will make you miserable. So, the best mantra is be not just willing, but ready too, at any time to adapt to, adjust with, and accommodate what Life has in store for you!
August 16, 2015
No point in asking ‘Why Me?’
Life simply happens to you. There is no conspiracy. There isn’t any logic. So, relax and deal with the Life that comes your way.
Yesterday we met with a friend. He comes from a very affluent family. But over the years his business has dwindled, his partner has cheated him and he is having to sell his assets, one by one, to support his kids’ education and to keep “the show going”. He’s worried, he feels insecure and has lost his self-esteem. “I suffered panic attacks last month, I fainted at the wheel while driving. I don’t feel like meeting anyone. I wonder why I am going through all this. I just hate it,” he lamented.
Hating what is and asking “why me” is the surest way to suffer. There are no explanations in Life on why you have to go through a phase or an experience. Asking “why me”, therefore, is futile. Just as hating a current situation is. Understand that Life is pretty darn simple – you are created without your asking for it; similarly you are put through a set of experiences in this lifetime and Life offers no explanations for either your creation or for your experiences. When facing Life you are actually dealing with something with which you can’t dialogue, you can’t reason and you can’t negotiate. This may seem hard to do when faced with an irrational situation – but acceptance is the only way to retain your sanity and inner peace. Well, you can choose not to accept the Life that you have been given, but that will only lead to, and accentuate, your suffering.
So, if you don’t want to suffer, simply take Life as it comes, deal with it to the best of your ability, don’t ask “why me” and keep moving on!
Yesterday we met with a friend. He comes from a very affluent family. But over the years his business has dwindled, his partner has cheated him and he is having to sell his assets, one by one, to support his kids’ education and to keep “the show going”. He’s worried, he feels insecure and has lost his self-esteem. “I suffered panic attacks last month, I fainted at the wheel while driving. I don’t feel like meeting anyone. I wonder why I am going through all this. I just hate it,” he lamented.
Hating what is and asking “why me” is the surest way to suffer. There are no explanations in Life on why you have to go through a phase or an experience. Asking “why me”, therefore, is futile. Just as hating a current situation is. Understand that Life is pretty darn simple – you are created without your asking for it; similarly you are put through a set of experiences in this lifetime and Life offers no explanations for either your creation or for your experiences. When facing Life you are actually dealing with something with which you can’t dialogue, you can’t reason and you can’t negotiate. This may seem hard to do when faced with an irrational situation – but acceptance is the only way to retain your sanity and inner peace. Well, you can choose not to accept the Life that you have been given, but that will only lead to, and accentuate, your suffering. So, if you don’t want to suffer, simply take Life as it comes, deal with it to the best of your ability, don’t ask “why me” and keep moving on!
August 15, 2015
Reflections from a midnight concert - on what success means
Success is not just about getting what you want. It is about facing Life too.
Anil Srinivasan at the midnight concertLast evening we attended a midnight concert by the acclaimed pianist Anil Srinivasan. It was the most beautiful and soulful way to bring in Independence Day. Anil rendered many great compositions in his effortless, flawless, inimitable style. Two of my favorites, apart from our national anthem, were Rabindranath Tagore’s “Ekla Chalo Re” and “Hum Honge Kamyaab”(Girija Kumar Mathur’s Hindi translation of the hymn of the African-American civil liberties movement, “We Shall Overcome”). Around the time that Vaani and I were courting each other, in the late 1980s, I had this burning desire to be rich (so that we could have a good Life) and successful (so that I would have a name and fame). “Hum Honge Kamyaab” was our courtship-theme song – we were faced with so many challenges on the road to getting married, from no money to start our Life together to having to get our parents’ approval. So, Mathur’s translated lyrics made a lot of sense – it inspired us to believe that we would indeed overcome our challenges and some day we would become successful, kamyaab, as the song suggested!
When Anil played the song on his piano last night, my eyes welled up. I reflected back on those heady times of our courtship and how we had surmounted every odd to get married and raise a family. I also recalled how, in particular, how I chased success. And today, when I look at the ruins of what was once a dream, I feel that my entire approach to success, in fact, its very definition has changed dramatically. Success to me today means simply this: the ability to live with the reality that is. Which means, to me, acceptance is success, being happy is success and being content is success. As this thought ran through my mind and as I let Anil’s rendition of “Hum Honge Kamyaab” caress my soul, I smiled to myself. Is this how one evolves in Life? To chase material success, find it, and through a Life-changing, cathartic experience, where every ‘thing’ is taken away from you, discover that all that one thought was success is no longer relevant. Success, I realized yet again last night, was simply about living each moment – the way it arrived and presented itself – well. Nothing else can qualify as success. Nothing else is success.
Surely, “Hum Honge Kamyaab” can still be anyone’s theme song – just as it continues to be mine. When you understand what being kamyaab, successful, really means, you will realize that it is totally unimportant how much wealth or fame you have in Life. What matters eventually is how much of your ‘given, gifted’ Life you have faced – and lived fully!
Anil Srinivasan at the midnight concertLast evening we attended a midnight concert by the acclaimed pianist Anil Srinivasan. It was the most beautiful and soulful way to bring in Independence Day. Anil rendered many great compositions in his effortless, flawless, inimitable style. Two of my favorites, apart from our national anthem, were Rabindranath Tagore’s “Ekla Chalo Re” and “Hum Honge Kamyaab”(Girija Kumar Mathur’s Hindi translation of the hymn of the African-American civil liberties movement, “We Shall Overcome”). Around the time that Vaani and I were courting each other, in the late 1980s, I had this burning desire to be rich (so that we could have a good Life) and successful (so that I would have a name and fame). “Hum Honge Kamyaab” was our courtship-theme song – we were faced with so many challenges on the road to getting married, from no money to start our Life together to having to get our parents’ approval. So, Mathur’s translated lyrics made a lot of sense – it inspired us to believe that we would indeed overcome our challenges and some day we would become successful, kamyaab, as the song suggested! When Anil played the song on his piano last night, my eyes welled up. I reflected back on those heady times of our courtship and how we had surmounted every odd to get married and raise a family. I also recalled how, in particular, how I chased success. And today, when I look at the ruins of what was once a dream, I feel that my entire approach to success, in fact, its very definition has changed dramatically. Success to me today means simply this: the ability to live with the reality that is. Which means, to me, acceptance is success, being happy is success and being content is success. As this thought ran through my mind and as I let Anil’s rendition of “Hum Honge Kamyaab” caress my soul, I smiled to myself. Is this how one evolves in Life? To chase material success, find it, and through a Life-changing, cathartic experience, where every ‘thing’ is taken away from you, discover that all that one thought was success is no longer relevant. Success, I realized yet again last night, was simply about living each moment – the way it arrived and presented itself – well. Nothing else can qualify as success. Nothing else is success.
Surely, “Hum Honge Kamyaab” can still be anyone’s theme song – just as it continues to be mine. When you understand what being kamyaab, successful, really means, you will realize that it is totally unimportant how much wealth or fame you have in Life. What matters eventually is how much of your ‘given, gifted’ Life you have faced – and lived fully!
August 14, 2015
A weaver, a verse and 4 haunting questions
Pause.
Ask yourself four quick questions: 1. What am I rushing in Life for? 2. What security do I need in this Life to live doing what I truly love doing? 3. What am I praying for? 4. What is my deepest aspiration in Life?
Understandably, these questions cannot be answered in a jiffy. But asking them doesn't cost anything. On the contrary, it awards you with inquiry, grants you thinking that can transform your Life. But these are also uncomfortable questions. And so we don't want to dwell on them. We prefer just rushing along with our daily lives __ continuing to work without joy, to live in fear, feeling frustrated and insecure. Every now and then, we turn to God, demanding that our financial, emotional and physical problems be solved. With some element of probability coming in to play, when our prayers are granted, we thank God. When they go unanswered, we blame God.
Kabir, the 16th Century mystic poet, a humble weaver by occupation, invites us to find the God, who we desperately seek, in the Faith we (must) have in ourselves. For those who follow Hindi, find the verse rendered in Bhupinder's soulful voice on this link:
This verse translates as follows in English:
“Where do you search for me? I am with youNot in pilgrimage, nor in idols, Neither in solitudeNot in temples, nor in mosques Neither in Kaba nor in KailashI am with you O man, I am with youNot in prayers, nor in meditation, Neither in fastingNot in yogic exercises, Neither in renunciationNeither in the vital Life source nor in the body, Not even in the ethereal spaceNeither in the womb of nature, Not in the breath of the breathSeek earnestly and discover, In but a moment of searchSays Kabir, Listen with care, Where your Faith is, I am there.”
So, stop running. Stop searching. Stop seeking. Stop fearing. Start living. Live in Faith. You will find meaning in your Life. And, ah, yes, you will also find the answers to the four questions above! When you answer those questions, you will find joy filling your Life!!!
Understandably, these questions cannot be answered in a jiffy. But asking them doesn't cost anything. On the contrary, it awards you with inquiry, grants you thinking that can transform your Life. But these are also uncomfortable questions. And so we don't want to dwell on them. We prefer just rushing along with our daily lives __ continuing to work without joy, to live in fear, feeling frustrated and insecure. Every now and then, we turn to God, demanding that our financial, emotional and physical problems be solved. With some element of probability coming in to play, when our prayers are granted, we thank God. When they go unanswered, we blame God.
Kabir, the 16th Century mystic poet, a humble weaver by occupation, invites us to find the God, who we desperately seek, in the Faith we (must) have in ourselves. For those who follow Hindi, find the verse rendered in Bhupinder's soulful voice on this link: This verse translates as follows in English:
“Where do you search for me? I am with youNot in pilgrimage, nor in idols, Neither in solitudeNot in temples, nor in mosques Neither in Kaba nor in KailashI am with you O man, I am with youNot in prayers, nor in meditation, Neither in fastingNot in yogic exercises, Neither in renunciationNeither in the vital Life source nor in the body, Not even in the ethereal spaceNeither in the womb of nature, Not in the breath of the breathSeek earnestly and discover, In but a moment of searchSays Kabir, Listen with care, Where your Faith is, I am there.”
So, stop running. Stop searching. Stop seeking. Stop fearing. Start living. Live in Faith. You will find meaning in your Life. And, ah, yes, you will also find the answers to the four questions above! When you answer those questions, you will find joy filling your Life!!!
August 12, 2015
Stay stoic. Be happy with what is!
The best way to lead Life is to be stoic.
This is what both history and the scriptures have been teaching us all along. Zeno, a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, who lived around the 3rd Century BC, championed the belief that God determined everything for the best and holding on to that view was a virtue sufficient for happiness. Zeno’s followers were called Stoics – some of the more popular followers were Seneca and Epictetus. The Roman philosophers who followed advocated the calm acceptance of all occurrences as the unavoidable result of divine will or of natural order. The second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita ends with the highest state of consciousness a human being can attain. Krishna, replying to Arjuna, says (presenting here only the relevant extract): “...He lives in wisdom, who sees himself in all and all in him, Whose love for the Lord of Love has consumed every selfish desire and sense-craving tormenting the heart. Not agitated by grief, nor hanker after pleasure he lives free from lust and fear and anger. Fettered no more by selfish attachments he is not elated by good fortune nor depressed by bad. Such is the seer....” The key operative part is to be “not elated by good fortune nor depressed by bad” . Mahatma Gandhi meditated on this verse for 50 years every morning and night and devoted all his Life to translating it into his daily action. This was the key to his self-transformation.
In our lifetimes, we are seeing stoicism all around us as people deal with catastrophic calamities – like MH 370 or the Nepal quake. We also see people deal with their private tragedies stoically – a health challenge, a relationship issue, the passing of a dear one. There is immense pain for those who are caught in these Life situations. Yet we don't see them beating their chests and wailing. They see no point in grieving and suffering endlessly. Instead, we see them, almost prayerful, moving on with their work, seemingly unaffected by the pain and grief. This is the highest spiritual quality individuals can acquire. In learning from them, we can find a better way to deal with our own, smaller, calamities. Stay stoic. Stay anchored.
Be happy with what is!
This is what both history and the scriptures have been teaching us all along. Zeno, a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, who lived around the 3rd Century BC, championed the belief that God determined everything for the best and holding on to that view was a virtue sufficient for happiness. Zeno’s followers were called Stoics – some of the more popular followers were Seneca and Epictetus. The Roman philosophers who followed advocated the calm acceptance of all occurrences as the unavoidable result of divine will or of natural order. The second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita ends with the highest state of consciousness a human being can attain. Krishna, replying to Arjuna, says (presenting here only the relevant extract): “...He lives in wisdom, who sees himself in all and all in him, Whose love for the Lord of Love has consumed every selfish desire and sense-craving tormenting the heart. Not agitated by grief, nor hanker after pleasure he lives free from lust and fear and anger. Fettered no more by selfish attachments he is not elated by good fortune nor depressed by bad. Such is the seer....” The key operative part is to be “not elated by good fortune nor depressed by bad” . Mahatma Gandhi meditated on this verse for 50 years every morning and night and devoted all his Life to translating it into his daily action. This was the key to his self-transformation.
In our lifetimes, we are seeing stoicism all around us as people deal with catastrophic calamities – like MH 370 or the Nepal quake. We also see people deal with their private tragedies stoically – a health challenge, a relationship issue, the passing of a dear one. There is immense pain for those who are caught in these Life situations. Yet we don't see them beating their chests and wailing. They see no point in grieving and suffering endlessly. Instead, we see them, almost prayerful, moving on with their work, seemingly unaffected by the pain and grief. This is the highest spiritual quality individuals can acquire. In learning from them, we can find a better way to deal with our own, smaller, calamities. Stay stoic. Stay anchored.
Be happy with what is!
August 11, 2015
Summon the right attitude, reboot and move on…
It is okay sometimes in Life to find yourself lonely – and alone!
It is perfectly normal to find yourself, from time to time, in a situation where everything that you dreamed of, everything that you stood for, every value and principle you held on to and practiced diligently, lies shattered, taken away from you and every evidence seems to point that you have been so naive and are on the wrong path, while the whole world seems to be making merry progressing in a different direction. It is okay to find yourself alone. In such a situation, what you need to be doing is surveying what’s left of your Life – focusing on what you have than brooding over what isn’t there. Remember not to focus on what’s not with you anymore but to look at what you still have.
Of the pieces, or threads, that are still with you, pick one that is very dear to you. Maybe your dream. While all your efforts thus far may have been run aground, nobody can take your dream away from you. Even if the world does not value you for the principles you follow, you still are who you are. Nobody can change who you are and what you believe in. Not even you. So, your values and principles are still intact. There may be other threads__someone out there who still believes in you, a glimmer of light that shows the way ahead. As you emerge from surveying what you are left with, resolve anew to pursue. Focus on the smaller, beautiful (the ones you love) pieces than on all your problems at the same time. You have air in your lungs, you have your values intact, your dream’s still in you__these are good enough to reboot your Life’s journey.
There’s a beautiful line in Hindi literature that says, “Doobte hue ko bas tinke ki zaroorat hoti hai”, which means, “The one who's drowning, just needs a straw, a reeper, to cling on to”. A friend’s facebook status yesterday read as follows: “Haiku of the morning__Dad passed away. Feels like the roof over our head’s blown off. But the sunrise is brilliant.” That’s what a reboot is all about – summoning the right attitude to move on…
Look out the window. There's a beautiful sun rising for you. (Or surely, in a while). Just for you. Perhaps, it is time for you to stop mourning, stop moaning and start living?
It is perfectly normal to find yourself, from time to time, in a situation where everything that you dreamed of, everything that you stood for, every value and principle you held on to and practiced diligently, lies shattered, taken away from you and every evidence seems to point that you have been so naive and are on the wrong path, while the whole world seems to be making merry progressing in a different direction. It is okay to find yourself alone. In such a situation, what you need to be doing is surveying what’s left of your Life – focusing on what you have than brooding over what isn’t there. Remember not to focus on what’s not with you anymore but to look at what you still have.
Of the pieces, or threads, that are still with you, pick one that is very dear to you. Maybe your dream. While all your efforts thus far may have been run aground, nobody can take your dream away from you. Even if the world does not value you for the principles you follow, you still are who you are. Nobody can change who you are and what you believe in. Not even you. So, your values and principles are still intact. There may be other threads__someone out there who still believes in you, a glimmer of light that shows the way ahead. As you emerge from surveying what you are left with, resolve anew to pursue. Focus on the smaller, beautiful (the ones you love) pieces than on all your problems at the same time. You have air in your lungs, you have your values intact, your dream’s still in you__these are good enough to reboot your Life’s journey. There’s a beautiful line in Hindi literature that says, “Doobte hue ko bas tinke ki zaroorat hoti hai”, which means, “The one who's drowning, just needs a straw, a reeper, to cling on to”. A friend’s facebook status yesterday read as follows: “Haiku of the morning__Dad passed away. Feels like the roof over our head’s blown off. But the sunrise is brilliant.” That’s what a reboot is all about – summoning the right attitude to move on…
Look out the window. There's a beautiful sun rising for you. (Or surely, in a while). Just for you. Perhaps, it is time for you to stop mourning, stop moaning and start living?
August 10, 2015
‘Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves’
Take care of yourself. Help heal yourself.
When we injure ourselves, say a nick while shaving or a cut while chopping vegetables, the body heals itself. If there is a deeper injury, with some care, we are back on the road. The truth is when the body is affected, it receives attention. The truth also is we injure our minds all the time but we don't give it the care it needs to heal. Every angry thought, every remorseful thought, in fact every thought that is not centered around love, peace and joy, is injurious. Now, ask yourself, how many such thoughts on love, peace and joy, do you think out of the 60,000 thoughts that occur to you each day? Unlikely that we even think loving, peaceful thoughts for weeks on end!! Consider therefore how battered the mind must be and how much healing needs to happen for it to be 'normal' again. Unless we heal from within we cannot expect our lives to become meaningful.'Mouna', the practice of silence periods, is the best way to heal our minds, to help it develop focus, faith and patience. The 13th Century Persian poet Rumi couldn't have said it better: "In silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves." Stop weaving here means to stop worrying, to stop wanting to control your Life, to stop the continuous chatter in your head; it means to pause and reflect. So, to make your life beautiful, happy and prosperous, stop battering your mind; heal it by anchoring in silence!
When we injure ourselves, say a nick while shaving or a cut while chopping vegetables, the body heals itself. If there is a deeper injury, with some care, we are back on the road. The truth is when the body is affected, it receives attention. The truth also is we injure our minds all the time but we don't give it the care it needs to heal. Every angry thought, every remorseful thought, in fact every thought that is not centered around love, peace and joy, is injurious. Now, ask yourself, how many such thoughts on love, peace and joy, do you think out of the 60,000 thoughts that occur to you each day? Unlikely that we even think loving, peaceful thoughts for weeks on end!! Consider therefore how battered the mind must be and how much healing needs to happen for it to be 'normal' again. Unless we heal from within we cannot expect our lives to become meaningful.'Mouna', the practice of silence periods, is the best way to heal our minds, to help it develop focus, faith and patience. The 13th Century Persian poet Rumi couldn't have said it better: "In silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves." Stop weaving here means to stop worrying, to stop wanting to control your Life, to stop the continuous chatter in your head; it means to pause and reflect. So, to make your life beautiful, happy and prosperous, stop battering your mind; heal it by anchoring in silence!
August 9, 2015
Learn as you live
We all want our lives to turn out well and go the way we planned for them to be. While that's a comforting aspiration, it will undoubtedly result in agony. Because Life has a mind of its own.
Remember the old saying? Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans!Besides, the Master Plan, is above all our plans. Since no one really knows what the Master Plan is, it is best to live in acceptance of what comes our way than trying to resist or deny anything. Indeed, because most of us are ethical, hardworking and principled, when things don't go our way, we are initially shocked, dazed and knocked out cold. This is when we must hold our own. This is not the time for mourning or grieving or for asking 'Why Me?' Such a response is futile and is not exactly going to alter your Life's course. What is required is acceptance of what is and calmness to guide you through these not-so-normal times.
Be inspired by Martin Luther King Jr.’s prescription for such situations: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Well, you can add adversity to King’s list there. Remember that Life's ultimate desire is to coach you and each twist, test, turn and trial is to teach you valuable lessons. If you are a good student, learning your lessons well and quickly, you will be in peace. If you resist the coaching, Life will relentlessly chase you until you come around. So, go on, be sensible. Accept Life as it is and learn as you live!
Remember the old saying? Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans!Besides, the Master Plan, is above all our plans. Since no one really knows what the Master Plan is, it is best to live in acceptance of what comes our way than trying to resist or deny anything. Indeed, because most of us are ethical, hardworking and principled, when things don't go our way, we are initially shocked, dazed and knocked out cold. This is when we must hold our own. This is not the time for mourning or grieving or for asking 'Why Me?' Such a response is futile and is not exactly going to alter your Life's course. What is required is acceptance of what is and calmness to guide you through these not-so-normal times. Be inspired by Martin Luther King Jr.’s prescription for such situations: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Well, you can add adversity to King’s list there. Remember that Life's ultimate desire is to coach you and each twist, test, turn and trial is to teach you valuable lessons. If you are a good student, learning your lessons well and quickly, you will be in peace. If you resist the coaching, Life will relentlessly chase you until you come around. So, go on, be sensible. Accept Life as it is and learn as you live!
