Jason Haskins's Blog, page 41

Conversations with myself: The Dirty Dancing remake

Wednesday night. Shortly after 9 pm (MDT). A night of meetings and running errands culminates with me sitting on my couch. Turning on my television--instead of the writing I should be doing--I begin to mindlessly scroll through the channels.
Before going any further in my search, my brain recalls a buried thought, one I'd wished would have stayed buried: The remake of Dirty Dancing was on.
Turning the channel, I find we're currently on a commercial break. Roughly 45 minutes remain so I should be joining just as the movie is ramping up.
ME: Should I really be doing this?
MIND: Oh come on. You've sat through Lifetime Channel movies about Saved by the Bell. You can easily do this.
ME: You're right.

Early reviews of the Dirty Dancing remake had appeared online a few days prior. I'd watched the trailer and there was no way I should be doing this. Even my Twitter feed was quiet, meaning even the many comedians I followed were staying away from the film. 

ME: Oh, good, it's back on. Right at the "Loverboy" moment...Wait, Johnny and Baby are full-on making out. They are going to get caught a lot easier than they did in the original...Wait...There is a guy creepily staring through the cabin's window.MIND: Cut the movie some slack. Plus, you missed the first two hours.ME: Okay, but...
Clunky dialogue, unneeded subplots, and even more dialogue (this remake apparently does not hold a belief in subtext) take place over the next few minutes. Even as far as remakes go, Dirty Dancing seems to have taken a strange turn.
ME: That was the weirdest few minutes leading to Johnny's arrest.MIND: You need to quit comparing it to the original.ME: But they're mixing in original dialogue and original shots! You can't ask me not to compare it.MIND: Shh... Here comes "She's Like the Wind".
Here's what I was expecting:



Instead, we were treated to some sort of EDM/Pop mix that lent no credence to the scene and left me with very little to say.
ME: What. The. Hell.
I am actually ready to give up at this point. Apparently, though, I like to torture myself.
ME: Okay. Here comes the finale... How can there be 20 minutes left?MIND: Stay focused, Jason.  The lift is coming!ME: Is that Billy Dee Williams?MIND: Yes. You missed a lot in the first two hours.ME: Apparently.
I continue to watch. Every little thing continues to be explained by characters and I'm not simply speaking about exposition. And there's dancing, but none of it seems very dirty. Am I watching footage of a junior high dance?
ME: (Laughing out loud)MIND: Stop it. A lot of people worked hard on this.ME: Are you watching the same show? Maybe they should have treated it more like an homage than trying to add onto a story that was pretty enjoyable the first time around.MIND: You're an ass.
It was then I shut off my mind. I  kept watching because the movie kept going. Apparently the creators decided to take the late 90's/early 2000's approach of bookending the movie. Why did we need this? We didn't. Part of the beauty of the original was imagining what happened to the Johnny/Baby relationship after the movie ended. Did they stay together? Was it simply a summer fling? Questions that didn't need to be answered but the creators of the remake felt did.
Luckily, the original will still live on in our hearts. Was the original an all-time great? No, but it has it's moments, it's songs, and of course, the classic line "I carried a watermelon". For that, it's legacy will live on forever.

Glimpsing the subconscious

photo: pixabay.com
Dreams--waking or the deep sleep variety--can be frustrating, exciting, and can often provide the slightest of windows into a person's soul.
Dreams cemented in reality can range from the simple, like owning your first car or your first house, to something more personal, like settling down with a partner or achieving your goals in a chosen profession.
Exploring the subconscious of dreams that have occurred during the sleeping hours can leave a lasting impression on a person. These are dreams based off memories, based off needs, and based on desires. Other dreams are simply plastered with outrageous moments.
In seeking out these dreams, I've often wondered: Can dreams predict the future?
Sometimes, these glimpses stay with you, lingering in your mind for days on end. Are these moments recalled with exact precision? Are they expounded upon with what's related to a person's personal life at the moment?
Lately, weeks of dreams have piled up on one another; dreams that are sticking with me in vivid detail.
The ones of the past seem to revolve around high school sports. Baseball and basketball games that were not played in but experienced and tantalizingly real.  The teammates are real, the situations semi-coherent, and the gyms normally never the gym where home games were played in real life (though some take place at the rival over the hill's gym).
My real memories of high school basketball no doubt help maintain the memory of the dream and add to the detailed actions.
Other dreams involve more recent adventures in life.  A visit with my sister, brother-in-law, and nieces and nephew. There is a nerf war, mixed with water guns, with two differences. We are at the home I grew up in; me stationed in my old room and them on the other side of the house. And also, the safety of the world is at stake. In the dream, this is not a made up end goal of the game. It is real, as I prepare by placing a sword and baseball in a strategic position to aid me against an unseen enemy.
There have been dreams of the future rooted in the past. A dream of deciding between two women; one blonde, one brunette. The catch? The dream takes place in the medieval times (and I'm not speaking of the restaurant). 
Over time, I've accrued quite the backlog of dreams.
Dreams of actions involving car trouble. And then weeks later experiencing a flat tire or something greater.
Dreams of friends long past now alive in the present day guiding me through a dream.
The subconscious displays a collection of life, helping to lay forth a path of choices, missed opportunities, and a connection to the past. 
Or is my brain riddled with these questions because of a recent dive into the subject of lucidity? I've always taken an interest in it, and is a prevalent thing in my next fantasy novel The Blue Gem.
Does everyone dream in this manner? Are there dreams that have stayed with you an extended period of time? Have you ever had a lucid dream? For once, someone would like to know. Feel free to leave comments below if you'd like to share. 

A May Newsletter: Volume 1, Issue 1

A newsletter? How very retro of you.Back in the day, I used to provide monthly updates on this very blog. It was a nice way to keep people updated on the life and times of this lonely writer living on the outskirts of the Pacific Northwest.
Since I went out and created my own website, the monthly updates--for the most part--are now housed over there. (Sans the Christmas letter, which will be on this site for the foreseeable future). The updates seen over there are similar to what you used to read here: updates on my writing, film work, theater excursions, and the rest.
The newsletter--as this will be called--will serve as a brief glimpse into what I'm currently listening to, watching, reading, etc. One might already be able to glean some of that as part of my weekly posts. And the newsletter might not even occur on a monthly basis. (At least I'm upfront about it). It partially serves as a reason to write something when other areas of my brain are blocked. (I was able to crank out a few pages of The Blue Gem today so I consider that a win.)
Currently Reading: Recently finished up Purity by Jonathan Franzen. Enjoyed this one, though not as much as his novel The Corrections. Since these aren't intended to be reviews, I won't go too much in depth. Franzen's stories are well-spun, with rich characters interwoven with dysfunctional families and current day events. Next up, I'll be starting City of Miracles by Robert Jackson Bennett. (Over the past three years I believe I've made it through his entire anthology. Urban Fantasy is the genre for those interested.)
Podcast: I arrived at the party kind of late for listening to podcasts on a regular basis. I recently noted three podcasts you might be missing out on. In addition to these, there are two more I look forward to listening when new episodes arrive. Lovett or Leave It is hosted by Jon Lovett, former speechwriter for President Obama. Politics are the main course served on this podcast, usually fellow comedians, actors, writers, or pundits joining him. (Lovett also serves as co-host of Pod Save America, a podcast I have yet to listen to.)
Posting at less regular intervals is Literary Disco hosted by Julia Pistell, Tod Goldberg, and Rider Strong. The trio get together to discuss a book they've recently read--and more.
Currently Listenting To: The Hamilton soundtrack, okay? I'm still listening to these songs--sometimes daily--and am not tired of it yet. Do I have a problem? Probably, but I suppose it's a good problem to have. I could be addicted to drugs (do you have any?) or four shots of whiskey deep right now (I'm out). 
On the early cusp of hitting a "new music is all crap these days" stage, I've been listening to a lot of stuff from the 90's lately. I haven't completely given up on new music, but I'm close. I'm usually about six months behind in hearing something new that I like. By then, most of the kids have moved on. We'll just stop there.
Currently Watching: In yet another category of not letting go of the past, I've yet to add streaming services to my life. I am behind on so much, even with cable television, that I don't even know where to begin. That's why I watch re-runs of ER.
I am able to catch up on streaming only shows when I'm house sitting. I have made it through the first six episodes of 13 Reasons Why. And, uh, yeah. It's good. And I don't know what's worse: binging on this show or--the way I'm doing it--spreading them out. The show is a lot to take on--either way--and as I watch it, is very similar to a screenplay I wrote years ago. At this point, I either scrap the screenplay or get in touch with the writers so they have material for season two.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I did watch on IFC the first seven episodes of Brockmire today. Good, classic dark comedy about a baseball announcer. Really got the happy spirits going today.
There it is. A brief glimpse. Now, to go finally figure out the ending on the rewrite of my full length play The Latitude of Life. It's been stewing around in my brain constantly for the last week with no results. At least I have this newsletter...

Revisiting the early seasons of the hit show 'ER'

photo credit: maxpixel.freegreatpicture.com

Long before the current wave of drama-filled television, NBC's ER paved the way for the well-crafted serialized story. On network t.v., nonetheless.Pundits and fans, over the years, have pointed to HBO's The Sopranos as the show that spawned a golden age of drama themed shows on television.
David Chase--creator of The Sopranos--knocked it out of the park with his show, but it was ER, the 15-season, 331-episode series on NBC that laid the foundation for the glory to come. 
ER, created by Michael Crichton, was a staple of NBC's Thursday night lineup throughout the 1990's. Along with the likes of Seinfeld and Friends--to name a few--ER's character driven, story-focused episodes helped make Thursday nights on NBC "must-see-t.v."
Throughout the 90's, I was along for the ride. The travails of Dr. Ross (George Clooney), Dr. Greene (Anthony Edwards), Dr. Benton (Eric La Salle), Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle), and Nurse Hathaway (Julianna Margulies)--among others--kept viewers tuned in every week to see where their stories traveled to.
The show also gave guest stars roles to William H. Macy, Ron Eldard, Kirsten Dunst, Rosemary Clooney, Ewan McGregor (in a great episode), and Omar Epps to name a few. (The list could literally go on and on; the same can be said for people who portrayed the doctors, nurses, and hospital staff throughout the show's run.)Catching up in syndicationIn March, I began watching re-runs of ER on the Pop channel (formerly the t.v. guide channel, now home to such stars as Joey Mcintyre and Eugene Levy). In re-watching the early seasons, I'd forgotten how entertaining and engaging the episodes were. Part of this can be attributed, on original viewing, that I was 15 when the series started and, by the late 90's, my devotion to the show had waned to the fact that I was in college, had a job, was involved in theater productions, and was generally living as a 21-year old enjoying the plethora of spirits involved in a busy night life.

And of course, Clooney left the show in 1999. The man who made women swoon and men copy his "Caesar haircut" (or "the Clooney") found super stardom because of the show. (I myself had "the Clooney" cut for a short time. I looked less like George Clooney and more like the 21-year old "boy" who barely had to shave once a month. Plus, I lacked the smoldering looks he often gave.)
I digress. ER in those early seasons tackled issues such as HIV, alcoholism, racism, depression, lack of marital bliss, love, and suicide. Suicide was especially prevalent--the very first episode saw nurse Hathaway's suicide attempt--and was a topic discussed heavily in those early seasons. It ranged in story lines from Dr. Lewis (Sherry Stringfield) and her psychiatrist boyfriend's depression to the possible suicide of Dr. Gant (Epps) in season three.
Stories were well told, providing character depth and plenty of time to grow. We saw the characters wage battles against addiction (Dr. Carter; he won) and Dr. 'Rocket' Romano (Paul McCrane) battle helicopters. (He lost twice. First, his arm. In a later season, his life.) Despite a large cast, the writers found time to create story and character arcs for the majority of the characters. (Something The Walking Dead could take note of.)
Clooney, of course, was the castmember who's stock skyrocketed. He'd been earmarked for fame since his days on the set of Roseanne. Many of my favorite episodes revolved around stories involving Dr. Ross, one of which I happened to catch the other day.Fathers and sonsThis episode took place in season four and was a stand alone episode focusing on only Dr. Ross and Dr. Greene. Two best friends traveling to Barstow to not only bury the father of Dr. Ross, but to repair a friendship that had broken over the first part of the season.
The show delves into the lives of these two, a friendship that had been fractured over the season's first six episodes thanks to Dr. Greene's life spiral. (One that culminated in him getting attacked in the e.r.'s bathroom by at the time an unknown assailant.)
While Dr. Ross gathers information to find out about his estranged father's last days, Dr. Greene makes a trip to see his own parents in San Diego. We get to see his relationship with his own father A relationship that, despite having a father who was present in his life, is not so different than the relationship Dr. Ross had with his own father, who was hardly ever there.
This little bit of information can only do the entire episode so much justice. It was an episode, that by the end, found my eyes sweating tiny drops of liquid. 
Episodes of ER had that affect on me over the years. If you've have never seen the show, do yourself a favor and add it your list today. Or re-watch it to see for yourself. Even if it's the first five seasons, you'll be happy you did.

Unsurpassed Classic Television Shows Have No Need for Revival

photo:commons.wikipedia.org
Everything old is new again.
At least that appears to be the ongoing trend for television shows as of late. Roseanne, the groundbreaking hit sitcom that ran nine seasons in the late 1980's into the 90's, appears to be the latest "retro" show to hop aboard the nostalgia train. It was recently announced a revival is already in the works, in which Sara Gilbert, John Goodman, and star/creator Roseanne are all on board for.
Setting aside the fact Goodman's character and family patriarch, Dan, is deceased plus quite possibly a myriad of scheduling problems with Johnny Galecki (David) and Laurie Metcalf (Jackie)--not to mention the always busy Goodman--a much deeper problem of rebooting and continuing television shows is growing among the industry.
In what a few years ago--and still is--was a booming trend in the movie industry, television shows have now proven they are not immune to this tactic.
The clamoring of fans for reunion shows have now turned into full blown, season-long revivals. Revivals in most cases that aren't even needed.
Reunion and anniversary shows gave a chance for fans to watch the stars of their favorite television shows of yesteryear reunite; to talk about their favorite scenes and watch them reminisce of a time long ago.
These days it seems not a week goes by without either A.) A star of a former show being asked about a reboot/reunion or B.) A reboot of show actually happening.
I get it. I really do. Perhaps the relaunching of these shows gives the opportunity for fans to recapture a lost youth or maybe a simpler time in their lives. Nostalgia is running rampant in society these days--not necessarily always a bad thing (I have it myself)--and the industry is looking to capitalize on it.
And for television shows that may have abruptly been cancelled, without a true finish, I get that as well. Both Arrested Development and Gilmore Girls have recently been receivers of this treatment.
Closure in a series is not always going to happen, but given the opportunity, I can see why shows as the above mentioned may feel the need to continue to tell the story years later if the opportunity arises.
Roseanne, on the other hand, ran for nine seasons and 222 episodes. And despite a disjointed ninth season, it ended with pretty concrete finality. (Spoilers, obviously).

Roseanne herself even provided an update on a blog post in 2009 on where all the characters of her show would be. Wasn't that enough? If there's a story you'd like to tell, why not do it in a way like this and leave it at that?
Many of these revivals/reboots or whatever you'd like to call them have been successful. For some, like Girl Meets World and Fuller House, the creators have taken the show they created and focused it on the next generation. (Though it can be argued both simply took story lines from their original shows, applied them to new characters, and updated ideas to fit modern day problems. Really upping the nostalgia ante in these cases.)
Of course, most of these shows I've loved over the years. Roseanne, Boy Meets World, and Arrested Development were all favorites of mine. And, in all honesty, I watched most of the episodes of Girl Meets World because of the aforementioned reason of nostalgia (and Cory and Topanga were the fictional love at one point in my life I aspired to be part of).
There's something to be said, though, of having an imagination. Fans can take the time to imagine what the characters of Roseanne are up to today. Or they can create their own story to discover what Ross and Rachel are up to in 2017. It's like any book, in which the snapshot of the story you're part of ends. Sometimes, creating what happens next in your mind after the story ends can be a valuable part of working out brain muscles.
We are in a golden age of television, where thought-provoking, imaginative, heartfelt, dramatic, and funny shows are being pumped out weekly. Ground breaking ideas are premiering all the time. Can the entertainment industry survive with a sliver of time and money being devoted to this programming? Yes, more than likely. Is it necessarily needed? No, not when re-runs are available in a variety of places, whether it's a streaming service, DVD, or even dusting off the old VCR. There are episodes of Roseanne, no matter how many times I've seen them, that still make me laugh.
Take some time out and relive that glory. Or show a few episodes to your children to let them see what the olden days were like. 
Will I be there and view these new episodes if they see the light day? Yes, probably. Curiosity will no doubt get the best of me. I will do so knowing that it wasn't needed except for the sole purpose of being nostalgic for nostalgia's sake.
Come to think of it, the trend started long before any of us can remember. Let's all thank A Very Brady Christmas for starting this entire thing. It, too, was a reunion that spawned a short-lived television revival. 
Bobby Brady's racing career was never the same. Let's hope D.J. Tanner doesn't suffer the same fate.

Mess Around and Miss the Triple-Double

photo: Wikimedia Commons
Russell Westbrook was all in on Friday night in an effort to break Oscar Robertson's record for most triple-doubles in a single season.
What transpired in the fourth quarter of the Oklahoma City Thunder's blowout loss to Phoenix was the epitome of a me-first, let's-break-records style of play that pops up all too often in today's NBA.
This is not Kobe Bryant playing one-man ball in the swan song of his career. This is Westbrook--and his coach--deciding a fourth-quarter game in which they trailed by over 20 as an important time to try to set an individual record.
The Phoenix Suns--losers of 13 straight--denied Westbrook his 42nd triple-double and the Thunder a victory, winning 120-99.
Westbrook and the Thunder might say different, but leaving in the one man who could possibly carry your team to a playoff victory is nothing more than trying to set a record for record-sake.
And it's a perfect example of seeing how far an NBA player will go in simply trying to set records without accumulating wins in mind.A MVP SeasonWestbrook has had an outstanding season. Let's be clear on that front. He is averaging 31.7 points, 10.4 assists, and 10.7 rebounds per game. Without him, the Thunder easily might have been in discussion for the top-pick in the 2017 draft.
A game like the one against the Suns--which included a blistering 24% (6-25) from the field--should do nothing to take away from what he has accomplished during the regular season.
This last game, though, is indicative of a deeper trend, one that has been growing for years, of players playing the game strictly for records. (Look no further than to Devin Booker--of the very same Suns team-- and his 70-point game last month against the Boston Celtics).
I get it. I really do. Players want to leave their mark on the game. I'd rather see these records broken in the natural course of a game or a career, though, than broken by forcing the subject. (And again, not exactly a new idea, as David Robinson once won a scoring title this way.)
Years ago, even months ago, I would have never written of a player/team being selfish over an assist. Normally, a stat like an assist is the perfect time to say, "Hey, he's being a team player. Why deride him for that?" Except in this game, in Westbrook's case, every effort was being conceded to get Westbrook the record. It was being attempted out of the natural flow of the game. Yes, he was struggling with his shooting, but when you're an MVP candidate and you're passing up open shots, there's more going on. Especially if you're coach is leaving you in during a meaningless blowout in a late-season game.The Art of the AssistThe assist used to fall into the category of being the ultimate team player. Over the years, players like John Stockton exemplified a pass first mentality for a point guard. Yes, he scored a fair amount in his career, but that was also a product of him being involved in a team offense.
These days, isolation and dribble-drive offenses are the norm (if you even want to call them that in the NBA). It's natural that scorers like Westbrook and James Harden (29.2 ppg, 11.2 apg, 8.1 rpg) are going to see their assist numbers rise.
Another factor is the way an assist is being scored. Based off my own interpretation, an assist should be given if player one passes to player two and player two makes no additional moves to score a basket. I've gone by that rule since my high school days.
I've learned that sometimes official scorers are much more generous. If a player catches a pass, takes a few dribbles to get open and hits a turn around jumper, an assist should not be given. I see this happen about 2-4 times per game--in the small sample size I've kept stats myself and compared to official box scores--slightly inflating assist numbers.
Westbrook had eight assists in the game against the Suns. He also had eight turnovers. Before thinking this is an aberration, know that Westbrook averages 5.5 turnovers per game. Harden averages 5.7. For what it's worth, Stockton averaged 10.5 assists in his career. In his final year, playing in all 82 games, he averaged 2.2 turnovers. His highest amount of turnovers per game was in 1988-89, in which he averaged 3.8. The last time he averaged three or more? In 1996-97.
I've learned to accept that watching the NBA in its current iteration is going to be frustrating to myself and a collection of others from my age group. It's probably similar to the generation before who had to watch the introduction of the three-pointer to the game. The game will keep evolving and it's still one that I love. But if the desire to overtake games in pursuit of individual records starts to outweigh the pursuit of victories and championships, it might be a sport no longer important to me. If it continues down this path, fans will be left with a season full of all-star games in which scoring reaches 200 for both teams involved.
If not careful, it's a future that might be not too far off. But hey, at least someone will have nailed down their triple-double. And they probably didn't even need to mess around.

Podcasts You Might Be Missing Out On

photo courtesy of flickr.com
Podcasts have been around for years now. It is only over the past year in which I've really started to fall in love with them, fully exploring the world around me via the internet.
In fact, the amount of choices out there can feel overwhelming at times. I've started and stopped a few, mostly because I've become sidetracked when I find another one that interests me. Starting down a podcast rabbit hole is quite an infliction and sometimes podcasts get pushed out of the scope of my attention.
While there are certainly more nationally recognized ones I stick to, such as the Missing Richard Simmons podcast or the recently released S-Town podcast (in which I listened to all seven chapters in the course of 24 hours), there are other ones I listen to on a regular basis. These tackle a wide range of topics and tell very different stories, but they are podcasts I try to never miss. They might be lesser known (though many have begun to earn recognition), they are entertaining, insightful, and informative.Thin AirFirst airing in January 2016, Thin Air releases an episode every two weeks. Their focus: missing person cases around the world.
Hosts/Creators Daniel Calderon and Jordan Sims, both writers and journalists, take the time in researching cases and interviewing the people related to the case(s). They do so with integrity, wisdom and compassion, helping to tell a story in roughly an hour's time.
Each episode, for the most part, focuses on a different missing person. Narrative driven stories are the focus of the podcast, helping bringing to light cases involving runaways, murders, and, in one episode, a look into the story of the great D.B. Cooper.
This is a definite recommend for those interested in true crime. The podcast has been featured on Buzzfeed and continues to tell people's stories in an interesting and insightful way.
To find out more, visit the Thin Air podcast website.That Baseball ShowTake some baseball, mix it in with a little pop culture and add a dash of politics and you'll get what is collectively an episode of That Baseball Show.
Hosts Matt Melton and Jimmy Bowman have been talking baseball over the internet airwaves for a few years now. The show, while centered around baseball, often uses the sport as a jumping off point for pop culture in general.
If you're looking for a stats heavy podcast, this might not be for you. Stats are involved, but they are not going to spend 45 minutes droning on about wins above replacement or a player's average on batted balls in play. 
Both are very knowledge when it comes to the sport, though, and are very affable when it comes to speaking about the sport. Two to four episodes generally appear per month. To learn more, head over to their Facebook page.Flight SchoolFormerly known as The Sesh, Flight School is the type of podcast to listen to if you want to kick back for thirty or so minutes and imagine you're hanging out with some friends.
The podcast focuses on no particular topic and that is part of the beauty of the podcast. It truly is a group of friends telling stories, looking up Craig's List missed connections, exploring the world of Tinder without photos, and--as the kids say--chillin'.
Specific narratives don't necessarily travel from one episode to the next, the group at Flight School knows how to entertain. They might be just hanging out with the caveat of being recorded, but at no point does the listener think any of this is forced or being "put on". And for that, the time spent with them stays fresh.
Sound Cloud it up here.
These are just a glimpse into my listening pleasures. They might not be for everyone, but if you give all three a try, I hope at least one will pique your interest to continue listening.
And if not? Well, there is always plenty of blogs to catch up with on this very site. (Shameless self-promotion guaranteed.)

You, Me, The Sky

The following is a piece of short, short fiction I wrote. The first line, "We know where we wanna go", was assigned as a prompt. It is from BUILT TO SPILL's song "Living Zoo".

We know where we wanna go. Laid out before us like a badly cared for yellow brick road, the path to our destination appeared to be an easy one.

Or was it?

The purpose of the journey does not matter, not anymore. The beginning mattered, but has since been clouded. As it stews together in my mind and boils down to the bare bones, the goal, the destination, and the purpose are all the same.

Life.

"Are you ready?"

Is that the voice of God? The voice belongs to that of a female. Women will gladly rejoice to know this fact. I am, in fact, indifferent to it all. The crispness of snapping fingers focuses my distracted attention. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Tanya, wearing a brand new pair of blue jeans and a skimpy top the color of meat fat, stands in the middle of the expansive room, eyes glued to her cell phone. The detour to this place, a mansion hidden in the hills and guarded by a rusted gate, gave a chance for Tanya to change into nicer clothes for the party and provided me the opportunity to explore. And what I found, tucked away on the bowed shelves of a basement bar, was a collection not of half-filled liquor bottles but jars filled with pills. It was a cornucopia of illegal and legal substances. The jars were not labeled, providing me little indication as to the origin of their current state. A veritable rainbow of colors washed before my eyes. Looking left and looking right, I quickly removed the lid of one of the jars. One purple pill later, the euphoria washed over me like tepid water on a scorching day.

"Jesus, Tom, what are you on?" The soothing voice of Tanya momentarily brought me back to reality.

"Huh?" was the only response I could muster.

"I've been talking to you you for the past five minutes. Can you drive?"

Drool pooled at the corners of my mouth. Our destination was still ahead of us. I may or may not have nodded.

"You know I'm not supposed to have guests over. He'll kill me."

Frantic, Tanya yanked me up off of the couch. Three years in Los Angeles and the closest I get to fame is stealing a washed up musician's drugs. The party we were headed to was going to be full of producers, money men, and more than a handful of clingers-on. The only way I was getting in because I was bringing a woman with me. Three more girls, barely twenty years of age, were already waiting on us. It was about ratio and that's how these men worked.

Did I only take one pill?

Tanya practically dragged me out of the dilapidated mansion. My car was parked within the gates. I got behind the wheel, started up the ignition and a grind of the gears told me we were on the move. The rest of the trip might have been a dream. Dreams might be shattered in where we wanna go, but at least Tanya and I will have each other. And she'll always have her jar of pills.

Twenty Years of Vampire Slaying

Photo: YouTube 
Twenty years ago, a television show with a cast of relatively unknown teenagers and created by somewhat unknown writer, premiered on a television network that many stations didn't even carry.
Twenty years later, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is still slaying and relevant in this ever-changing pop culture (and real) world.
Admittedly, I didn't start fully investing in this show until the sixth season. And, in double-secret admittance, it was because of girl.
And I'm thankful she introduced it into my life.
Prior to the fall of 2001, I had caught a few episodes. Most of them had been from season three, the season that saw the gang battle a demon of a principal and introduced to the world the character of Faith (Eliza Dushku).
That was it. In fact, at this point in the story, I had might not even watched these episodes if it weren't for a (secret) love of Dawson's Creek. (A show I had started watching because of my love of Kevin Williamson's writing in Scream.)
Back on point, I was at first not necessarily interested in the travails of Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her pals. It seemed like a cute little show full of quips, snips, and staking.
Boy, was I wrong.
The show was more layered and more thoughtful then my previous forays had indicated. Buffy was a show that dealt with bullying, social angst, sexuality, and demons--inner and otherwise--all cleverly written into a fantasy world.
And it was all done with a strong female lead kicking ass on a weekly basis. 
Like a memory that is attached to a song, me watching this television show will always be tied to the ex-girlfriend who introduced it to me. After that, I was hooked.
The world created by Joss Whedon was intriguing on many levels. Audiences connected with the group of outcasts--the heroes--as many themselves were introverts, odd ducks, socially awkward, and labeled by society as different.
I can safely say this is partially why I became invested in the show. More importantly so, it was from a storytelling aspect that kept me involved each week. Yes, there was a world of demons, vampires, and magic, but more importantly the writing was backed up with real life issues. Transitioning to life in a new place. Dating. Navigating social waters. Love. The death of a loved one.
It is rare for a television to be universally agreed upon in favorite episodes, but that is what happening in the articles I've read. Top-ten episode lists for Buffy have been populating the internet over the last week and the majority of them list the same ten episodes. Is that to say the show only really had ten great episodes? No. It was simply in these in which the greatest impact was felt, an impact felt the same by various viewers across a female and male divide.
One episode, "The Body", was even given an in-depth article over at The Atlantic. Taking place in season five, this is an episode I caught after its initial premiere. And the moments of silence within this episode, especially when Dawn (Michelle Trachtenberg) is being told by Buffy of their mother's death is a moment that still had me choked up while reading the article. As an viewer, we see this happening in the hallways, through a window and from the POV of the classroom. We don't need to know what is being said and it's all the more powerful to watch this happen.
Moments like this from the show stick with me. Whedon's mix of comedic and drama writing is something I aspire to do. Finding moments in life that carry weight or are so subtle they move a person is something to aspire to.
Though I came to the party late, I'm glad I did. There are very few shows I can watch over and over again, but Buffy is definitely one of them. Twenty years have gone by, 16 of which I've been a fan, but here's to a show that continues to stand the test of time. And thanks to the ex-girlfriend that sat me down to watch the show. It may have started as a way to be part of her world, but it ended with the devotion of a lifelong fan. 

Memories of the Baseball Past

A song can take a person back in time. The journey into the depths of the mind can be as short as to the car ride last week or as far back to the devastating moment of the end of a relationship. Some even trigger memories from a first concert or the exact place you were at when you first connected to a now favorite song.
And sometimes, that song is Puff Daddy's Can't Nobody Hold Me Down.
For no discernible reason, the song is on an iPod. The lyrics set forth a chain of events in the mind that go back twenty years.  It's early March of 1997 and this was one of the many songs blaring from the boom box at the back of the bus. The song was one of many that found its way into the rotation for that season's baseball team. Traveling by bus for sometimes upwards of nine hours, a lot of activities were needed to pass the time. Listening to music as a group helped build camaraderie, if only for a few minutes.
The desert of Nevada, a vast wasteland of sagebrush, mountains, and the occasional prison camp, offered very little in the ways of scenery. It became even less enticing considering many of us had been making these trips for four years.
Such was the life of an athlete in rural Nevada.
Outside of music, there was plenty of time for other activities. Sleep was near the top of the list, most notably after a double-header and a trip home done under the cover of night. The amount of sleep was dependent on the outcome of the day's games (or weekend), with a mood ranging from jovial to downright pissed off.
Journeying further into the recesses of the mind, the flood gates of memories of that season open up even more.  There were card games, quarters and dollar bills exchanging hands quicker than the Flash running to a sale on tights. Poker and blackjack were out. In was "Guts", a game where Aces, Pairs, and the occasional bluff dominated. There was a game involving '31'. Red dog? The barrel full of alcohol consumed in the intervening years has left sliver sized holes in the memory.
The 1997 season brought forth multiple games played in the snow. It was the risk of playing early March baseball in Northern Nevada and southwestern Idaho. Wind chills would often drop game time temperatures this time of year to below thirty. The sting on your hands from placing bat to ball could linger for innings and ear muffs might be spotted on the ears of a player or two.
The sound of cleats on the dugout cement. The metal ting of the bat to ball. The chatter echoing around the infield, carrying to the outfielders, where eventually it was lost to the weeds behind the outfield fence. Tiny moments of time re-entering the present day all thanks to a song. A song that may not seem so great in the present day, yet one that permits a stroll down memory lane to a time when the future was at our fingertips.
A promising senior season for a talent laden team ran into its fair share of hiccups. Slumps, late-inning defeats, and suspensions sent the team into the division playoffs as the fourth seed. The top three from the divisional round would advance to state that year. A matchup with the number one seed in the first round put our team behind the proverbial eight ball.
Another long bus ride was on the agenda, this time to the home of the regular season division champions and number one seed. All to face a team with the top pitcher in the north, a young man with a decent fastball and a devastating curveball. One loss would send us into the losers bracket and one game closer to ending our season early.
Two previous losses to this team in the regular season, by a combined three runs and both in the final inning, hung over our heads. Disciplinary action had sidelined our top pitchers from those losses. The senior left-hander, the man with the magic knuckleball and Tom Glavine changeup took the hill on that Friday afternoon. The task at hand was clear and simple: Win and advance to state.
An early lead by our team gave way to a 4-4 tie after a monster home run. Squandered chances left the game tied as we went to the top of the seventh. With a runner on second, a purely singles hitter, a 150 pound first baseman, slapped an 0-2 pitch for a double to left-center. A walk and another double later, we held a 7-4 lead.
In what seemed no time at all, the lead in the bottom of the inning had narrowed to 7-6. The bases were loaded. There were two outs. Ball one. Ball two. Ball three, a borderline call. Nerves were frayed. Anticipation ran high on both sides. Two strikes went by. The left-hander reared back, digging deep to fire one last fastball. The aim was true and wobbly legs gave way to pure elation.
The season might have ended a week later with two losses in state, but the memories of those years remain. The long road trips. The bickering. The gambling debt. The laughs. The camping trips. The games. Twenty years later, even with the natural progression of life, the marriages and the deaths, the injuries and the mistakes, a team is always that. Even if the communication is limited to smaller circles, friends reaching out to friends or following their life on social media, memories remain. On the field and off.