Jason Haskins's Blog, page 54
June 26, 2014
Ann Coulter vs Soccer
Moral-adj: of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior
"Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay."
That is a direct quote from Ann Coulter's recent article that was posted on her website. At first when I started reading this article, I figured it must be some sort of joke. Almost like something a person would read on The Onion. After some research,I discovered it was in fact a true article written by Ms. Coulter herself. Normally I would write this off as satire of sort, but considering the source, that was not an option. Perhaps she is just doing what she always does and that is spouting off at the mouth. If she's looking for a reaction, she certainly got it.
Defending soccer was not on my list of things to do today, but sometimes when the issue of moral decay is brought to the forefront something must be said. Due to the beauty of the internet in which all people have opinions, hundreds of people are doing exactly that right now. Sure most of those responses are being written in the comment sections of her article, but I have chosen to do it in blog form. For those of you that would like a reference to my upcoming responses, you can visit her website here to read her full article: http://www.anncoulter.com/
1.) Ms. Coulter uses examples of individual feats in other sports (i.e. basketball and baseball) to explain why these sports are lauded and soccer is destroying our nation. While a slam dunk in basketball is thrilling, in the end, it's still worth two points. A goal in soccer can be just as exciting, it just sometimes requires a bit more patience to see. And just like in basketball, teamwork is involved. Often times, like a goal in soccer, a dunk requires a teammate getting that player the ball.
Soccer also requires athleticism. Michael Bradley, in the game against Portugal, was estimated to have ran 7 miles during the game. I'd say that's much more than a baseball player who might stand around for 3 hours and maybe swing the bat four times.
Also, in the World Cup, the player that scores the most goals gets the Golden Boot. It's very much like an MVP, in some cases. Maybe you should research Soccer before handing it the label of the sport that decays morals.
2.) Last I checked, baseball is a co-ed sport, especially for younger ages. And you know what, many times these days the teams don't even keep score. And everyone gets to bat. There are no losers. Talk about moral decay!
3.) Okay, basically you think Soccer is boring. Who needs an update on billboards when the score is tied 0-0? I'm with you there. Soccer games certainly have moments of boredom. You could have easily stopped that statement right there. For some inexplicable reason, you decide to invoke the death of Michael Jackson. You said that maybe if he would have just watched soccer to cure his insomnia and not turned to drugs, he might still be alive today. By my calculations, that would have saved his life. And by taking the moral choice of watching soccer, he'd be alive today. Hmm...
4.) No personal humiliation, huh? Try living down the fact you scored a goal against your own team. I'd say that's pretty humiliating and sometimes the difference between victory and defeat. Much like a field goal kicker who misses an easy field goal to win the game for his team. And let's not talk about playing through injuries or that soccer isn't a physical sport. Just look at Clint Dempsey please.
5.) You can't use your hands in soccer. What's the point of opposable thumbs if we can't use them, right? I'm not even sure what this has to do with moral decay. It's wrong to play a sport in which you can't use your hands. So guess that means, since I watch Soccer, that I might as well go commit some crimes. Also, have you not seen the position of goalkeeper? Guess what, in soccer a goalkeeper can use their hands.
6.) I love football. I play fantasy football. Between the months of September thru February, my weekends are consumed by it. A football game is usually around 3 hours long and about 11 minutes of that are actual on field action. At least with soccer you get close to 80 minutes of action during a 90 minute game. The reason we don't have to be told to like Football is because it's rammed down our throats twelve months a year. Football never goes away because it has slowly been building to this behemoth for the last twenty years. Soccer will never reach that level, yes, but certainly when 18.2 million people watch a game it is something to make mention of. Instead you want us continue to be a nation that watches a game in which murderers, thieves, cheaters, adulterers, homophobes, and drug addicts make millions of dollars? Good on you. *I realize the NFL is not entirely made up these types of people. In fact, it might be the minority, but you get my point.
7.) So African Americans aren't watching soccer or so you say. Pretty certain I have plenty of African American friends that are enjoying the World Cup. So there was simply no need for you to bring race into this.
8.) Liberals want the metric system to be used in the United States. Wait. Was this a thinly connected point just made by you to point out you don't like Liberals?
9.) See point #6
Then you mention Teddy Kennedy and deliver a veiled statement in which you say it's the immigrants/refugees (illegal or legal, you don't say) that are driving up the popularity of soccer in the United States.
If my checklist is correct, in this article Ms. Coulter managed to offend Liberals, Soccer Moms, Germans, illegal immigrants, African Americans, Soccer players, Irish Catholics, Michael Jackson's family, Beyonce, and people with American born great-grandfathers.
Not everyone likes soccer. I understand that. I watch it every four years (religiously) and catch a few other games here and there during the in between time. I am not the most fanatic person about it unless it involves Team USA (Men for sure, the women's team a little more sporadically.) The games I do watch are often filled with both drama and excitement. The main reason, aside from playing while growing up and enjoying te game, is this: to support my country. No matter how far away from the game, I have a sense of American pride when it comes to watching Team USA play in the World Cup. Next time you want to write an article about soccer and how you don't like it, just leave it at that. Don't try to push across your platform and pass soccer off as a trend of decaying morals. If showing my American pride by rooting for an underdog is decaying my morals, I will gladly take take over anything any day of the week.
"Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay."
That is a direct quote from Ann Coulter's recent article that was posted on her website. At first when I started reading this article, I figured it must be some sort of joke. Almost like something a person would read on The Onion. After some research,I discovered it was in fact a true article written by Ms. Coulter herself. Normally I would write this off as satire of sort, but considering the source, that was not an option. Perhaps she is just doing what she always does and that is spouting off at the mouth. If she's looking for a reaction, she certainly got it.
Defending soccer was not on my list of things to do today, but sometimes when the issue of moral decay is brought to the forefront something must be said. Due to the beauty of the internet in which all people have opinions, hundreds of people are doing exactly that right now. Sure most of those responses are being written in the comment sections of her article, but I have chosen to do it in blog form. For those of you that would like a reference to my upcoming responses, you can visit her website here to read her full article: http://www.anncoulter.com/
1.) Ms. Coulter uses examples of individual feats in other sports (i.e. basketball and baseball) to explain why these sports are lauded and soccer is destroying our nation. While a slam dunk in basketball is thrilling, in the end, it's still worth two points. A goal in soccer can be just as exciting, it just sometimes requires a bit more patience to see. And just like in basketball, teamwork is involved. Often times, like a goal in soccer, a dunk requires a teammate getting that player the ball.
Soccer also requires athleticism. Michael Bradley, in the game against Portugal, was estimated to have ran 7 miles during the game. I'd say that's much more than a baseball player who might stand around for 3 hours and maybe swing the bat four times.
Also, in the World Cup, the player that scores the most goals gets the Golden Boot. It's very much like an MVP, in some cases. Maybe you should research Soccer before handing it the label of the sport that decays morals.
2.) Last I checked, baseball is a co-ed sport, especially for younger ages. And you know what, many times these days the teams don't even keep score. And everyone gets to bat. There are no losers. Talk about moral decay!
3.) Okay, basically you think Soccer is boring. Who needs an update on billboards when the score is tied 0-0? I'm with you there. Soccer games certainly have moments of boredom. You could have easily stopped that statement right there. For some inexplicable reason, you decide to invoke the death of Michael Jackson. You said that maybe if he would have just watched soccer to cure his insomnia and not turned to drugs, he might still be alive today. By my calculations, that would have saved his life. And by taking the moral choice of watching soccer, he'd be alive today. Hmm...
4.) No personal humiliation, huh? Try living down the fact you scored a goal against your own team. I'd say that's pretty humiliating and sometimes the difference between victory and defeat. Much like a field goal kicker who misses an easy field goal to win the game for his team. And let's not talk about playing through injuries or that soccer isn't a physical sport. Just look at Clint Dempsey please.
5.) You can't use your hands in soccer. What's the point of opposable thumbs if we can't use them, right? I'm not even sure what this has to do with moral decay. It's wrong to play a sport in which you can't use your hands. So guess that means, since I watch Soccer, that I might as well go commit some crimes. Also, have you not seen the position of goalkeeper? Guess what, in soccer a goalkeeper can use their hands.
6.) I love football. I play fantasy football. Between the months of September thru February, my weekends are consumed by it. A football game is usually around 3 hours long and about 11 minutes of that are actual on field action. At least with soccer you get close to 80 minutes of action during a 90 minute game. The reason we don't have to be told to like Football is because it's rammed down our throats twelve months a year. Football never goes away because it has slowly been building to this behemoth for the last twenty years. Soccer will never reach that level, yes, but certainly when 18.2 million people watch a game it is something to make mention of. Instead you want us continue to be a nation that watches a game in which murderers, thieves, cheaters, adulterers, homophobes, and drug addicts make millions of dollars? Good on you. *I realize the NFL is not entirely made up these types of people. In fact, it might be the minority, but you get my point.
7.) So African Americans aren't watching soccer or so you say. Pretty certain I have plenty of African American friends that are enjoying the World Cup. So there was simply no need for you to bring race into this.
8.) Liberals want the metric system to be used in the United States. Wait. Was this a thinly connected point just made by you to point out you don't like Liberals?
9.) See point #6
Then you mention Teddy Kennedy and deliver a veiled statement in which you say it's the immigrants/refugees (illegal or legal, you don't say) that are driving up the popularity of soccer in the United States.
If my checklist is correct, in this article Ms. Coulter managed to offend Liberals, Soccer Moms, Germans, illegal immigrants, African Americans, Soccer players, Irish Catholics, Michael Jackson's family, Beyonce, and people with American born great-grandfathers.
Not everyone likes soccer. I understand that. I watch it every four years (religiously) and catch a few other games here and there during the in between time. I am not the most fanatic person about it unless it involves Team USA (Men for sure, the women's team a little more sporadically.) The games I do watch are often filled with both drama and excitement. The main reason, aside from playing while growing up and enjoying te game, is this: to support my country. No matter how far away from the game, I have a sense of American pride when it comes to watching Team USA play in the World Cup. Next time you want to write an article about soccer and how you don't like it, just leave it at that. Don't try to push across your platform and pass soccer off as a trend of decaying morals. If showing my American pride by rooting for an underdog is decaying my morals, I will gladly take take over anything any day of the week.
June 23, 2014
A Short Play
Last week I was able to spend a few days up in McCall at the Seven Devils Playwrights Conference. The conference is put on by the id Theater company out of New York and runs for two weeks. Now, if I had it my way, I would have been able to spend the full two weeks up there because good stuff is going on. Alas, with a work schedule interfering (for the first week) and monetary/lodging considerations, I was only able to spend part of two days up there. Fingers are crossed for possibly spending the entire two weeks (or even just longer than a few days) in the future.
I went up to attend a workshop simply called INSTAPLAY. I did not contact anyone up there to get more information, but simply went to McCall because the workshop was open to the public for free. I like free so of course I went. I didn't know what this workshop would entail and I certainly hoped it would be worth my time. As it turns it out, it most certainly was. Not only do I feel I came out of the workshop learning something new, but I also was able to meet a few people (and see a few familiar faces). I won't delve into the details of the workshop, but I'll keep it simple and give you the basic outline. After some brief intros, we were told we'd be writing essentially a three act play in a fifteen to twenty minute period. After that, the play would be rehearsed by actors and put on stage within the hour. After some basic instructions (and with no editing), here is what transpired from my mind. Enjoy.
ACT I
A Park bench. Traffic around the bench is light, save for the occasional jogger/biker.
A: This is nice.
B: Hmm...
A: A perfect sunny day. A little breeze. No worries in the world.
B: Hmm...
A: Is that all you can say? Hmm?
B: Is there much more to say? It's a nice day. There's very little breeze. I agree with everything you said.
A: Okay. Just checking in.
B: Did you brink he camera?
A: Of course.
"A" removes a camera from a backpack. As he does this, a jogger happens by. He stops, looks directly at "B", smiles, and jogs away. "B" smiles back.
A: Did you see something you wanted a picture of?
B: I did. He's gone now.
A: Listen... I wanted to say this now because-well...this is where we first met and all... Just wanted to...
"A" reaches into bag and reveals a small box.
B: Please don't do this...
ACT II
The jogger from earlier appears. Jogging in place at first, but stopping just before speaking.
C: Oh hey. Didn't see you there. Days like this are perfect for getting a run in. Everything is beautiful in the world, the sun is out, and you can give a fuck about anything else in the world. Why? Well, I'll tell you why good sir. I am in love. Yes, that's right. I will scream it from a mountaintop. I AM IN LOVE. There's nothing that can make a man happier...Except there's one minor detail. She's dating another man. No big deal, right?
ACT III
A gym. "A" and "C" are on treadmills, looking at a t.v.
C: That's a horrible shot!
(TO "A")
C: This guy is out of control. He should be benched.
A: Sure.
The two continue to work out. "A" continually keeps glancing at "C". "C" finally notices.
C: Something I can help you with?
A: No...I just...You look familiar.
"C" yells at t.v.
C: Stupid! That is not a foul!
A: Listen, I can't help but ask you--
Before "A" finishes, "C" falls off the treadmill. "A" keeps jogging.
A: Oops. Been running long?
END
I went up to attend a workshop simply called INSTAPLAY. I did not contact anyone up there to get more information, but simply went to McCall because the workshop was open to the public for free. I like free so of course I went. I didn't know what this workshop would entail and I certainly hoped it would be worth my time. As it turns it out, it most certainly was. Not only do I feel I came out of the workshop learning something new, but I also was able to meet a few people (and see a few familiar faces). I won't delve into the details of the workshop, but I'll keep it simple and give you the basic outline. After some brief intros, we were told we'd be writing essentially a three act play in a fifteen to twenty minute period. After that, the play would be rehearsed by actors and put on stage within the hour. After some basic instructions (and with no editing), here is what transpired from my mind. Enjoy.
ACT I
A Park bench. Traffic around the bench is light, save for the occasional jogger/biker.
A: This is nice.
B: Hmm...
A: A perfect sunny day. A little breeze. No worries in the world.
B: Hmm...
A: Is that all you can say? Hmm?
B: Is there much more to say? It's a nice day. There's very little breeze. I agree with everything you said.
A: Okay. Just checking in.
B: Did you brink he camera?
A: Of course.
"A" removes a camera from a backpack. As he does this, a jogger happens by. He stops, looks directly at "B", smiles, and jogs away. "B" smiles back.
A: Did you see something you wanted a picture of?
B: I did. He's gone now.
A: Listen... I wanted to say this now because-well...this is where we first met and all... Just wanted to...
"A" reaches into bag and reveals a small box.
B: Please don't do this...
ACT II
The jogger from earlier appears. Jogging in place at first, but stopping just before speaking.
C: Oh hey. Didn't see you there. Days like this are perfect for getting a run in. Everything is beautiful in the world, the sun is out, and you can give a fuck about anything else in the world. Why? Well, I'll tell you why good sir. I am in love. Yes, that's right. I will scream it from a mountaintop. I AM IN LOVE. There's nothing that can make a man happier...Except there's one minor detail. She's dating another man. No big deal, right?
ACT III
A gym. "A" and "C" are on treadmills, looking at a t.v.
C: That's a horrible shot!
(TO "A")
C: This guy is out of control. He should be benched.
A: Sure.
The two continue to work out. "A" continually keeps glancing at "C". "C" finally notices.
C: Something I can help you with?
A: No...I just...You look familiar.
"C" yells at t.v.
C: Stupid! That is not a foul!
A: Listen, I can't help but ask you--
Before "A" finishes, "C" falls off the treadmill. "A" keeps jogging.
A: Oops. Been running long?
END
June 17, 2014
World Cup from the Couch
As we wrap up the first round of group games, it is time to take a moment and reflect on what we have learned the first week of the 2014 World Cup.
I have watched roughly eleven of the games so far and boy have I been impressed. We have had everything from a lot of passing, a bit of goalkeeping, and a lot of crying--er, I mean, hard fouls. People thought Lance Stephenson of the Indiana Pacers flopped a lot but those people should start watching soccer if they want to see true flopping. The world class soccer players have flopping down to a science. Every little push, slide tackle, and jostle turns into the pain that ended all pain. I'd say that soccer referees have the hardest officiating job in the world. Not only do they have to do as much running as the players, they basically have to decided every minute whether a true foul has occurred or the player has simply taken a dive. My hats off to the referees.
1.) Let's start with a little man from France with the name Benzema. That's right. I will refer to him by one name only. All soccer players should choose to go by one name only. Unless you're the Brazilian goalie, whose name is Julio Caesar. I digress. Benzema scored two goals for France in their first game of group play. More importantly he has a slight resemblance to a highly recognizable American celebrity:
That's right ladies. France has their very own Shia Labeouf
2.) One team scored five goals. In a single game. I was impressed last time around when Germany scored four versus Australia, but Australia's team was made up of Kangaroos and Koala Bears. (Don't quote me on that. Too easy? Oh well.) Either way, the Netherlands beat Spain 5 to 1. And these are two world Class teams, including the defending champion in Spain. Need an example: Let's say Spain is the Denver Broncos. And the Netherlands are the Seattle Seahawks. Many pundits believed that Spain would get a good game but in the end would prevail. Instead, this happens:
Five goals in futbol is a lot like 43 points in football
3.) Pepe from Portugal was ejected from the Portugal/Germany game when he picked up his second yellow card. For head butting. Maybe he was frustrated with Thomas Muller of Germany, who would go on to score three goals. Pepe won't play this Sunday vs. the United States, but the real question is: Who is Pepe?
I really like our chances now that Pepe is out
4.) The first tie ball game did not happen until Game 13. Did everyone forget that this is soccer? (Note: As of this writing, one other tie game has occurred and Russia and Korea are currently tied in the 55th minute).
5.) The coach of Mexico, Miguel Herrera, has instructed his players not to have sex while in Brazil during the World Cup. "How dare he", you might say. "Brazil is one of the most sexually liberated countries in the world. He can't take that away from his players." Well, it seems to be working as Mexico won their first game and then tied the heavily favored Brazilian team. Maybe the Brazil coach should enforce some of the same rules.
Sorry Mexico. No romps for you
6.) Where is the Vuvuzela? I wrote all about the Vuvuzela on this blog four years ago (Futbol Rules the World, 6/14/10) and miss it's lovely buzz in the background of all the games. Apparently all of the complaints from 2010 worked and the Vuvuzela will not be present at this World Cup. Luckily, Brazil has replaced it with this:
It's called the Caxirola
7.) The U.S.A. won it's first game? Huh?
8.) Seriously, the United States Men National Soccer Team finally beat Ghana at the World Cup. And in dramatic fashion, winning on a header by John in the 86th minute. Okay, let's use his last name because it's pretty impressive. John Brooks, playing in his first World Cup game, scored the game winner. Congrats young man. Now don't blow it against Portugal on Sunday.
There it is. Just a few musings from the first week of the World Cup. The march towards July 13th continues, when we finally see the champion of the 2014 World Cup. And then I can forget about soccer for another four years.
I have watched roughly eleven of the games so far and boy have I been impressed. We have had everything from a lot of passing, a bit of goalkeeping, and a lot of crying--er, I mean, hard fouls. People thought Lance Stephenson of the Indiana Pacers flopped a lot but those people should start watching soccer if they want to see true flopping. The world class soccer players have flopping down to a science. Every little push, slide tackle, and jostle turns into the pain that ended all pain. I'd say that soccer referees have the hardest officiating job in the world. Not only do they have to do as much running as the players, they basically have to decided every minute whether a true foul has occurred or the player has simply taken a dive. My hats off to the referees.
1.) Let's start with a little man from France with the name Benzema. That's right. I will refer to him by one name only. All soccer players should choose to go by one name only. Unless you're the Brazilian goalie, whose name is Julio Caesar. I digress. Benzema scored two goals for France in their first game of group play. More importantly he has a slight resemblance to a highly recognizable American celebrity:
That's right ladies. France has their very own Shia Labeouf2.) One team scored five goals. In a single game. I was impressed last time around when Germany scored four versus Australia, but Australia's team was made up of Kangaroos and Koala Bears. (Don't quote me on that. Too easy? Oh well.) Either way, the Netherlands beat Spain 5 to 1. And these are two world Class teams, including the defending champion in Spain. Need an example: Let's say Spain is the Denver Broncos. And the Netherlands are the Seattle Seahawks. Many pundits believed that Spain would get a good game but in the end would prevail. Instead, this happens:
Five goals in futbol is a lot like 43 points in football
3.) Pepe from Portugal was ejected from the Portugal/Germany game when he picked up his second yellow card. For head butting. Maybe he was frustrated with Thomas Muller of Germany, who would go on to score three goals. Pepe won't play this Sunday vs. the United States, but the real question is: Who is Pepe?
I really like our chances now that Pepe is out4.) The first tie ball game did not happen until Game 13. Did everyone forget that this is soccer? (Note: As of this writing, one other tie game has occurred and Russia and Korea are currently tied in the 55th minute).
5.) The coach of Mexico, Miguel Herrera, has instructed his players not to have sex while in Brazil during the World Cup. "How dare he", you might say. "Brazil is one of the most sexually liberated countries in the world. He can't take that away from his players." Well, it seems to be working as Mexico won their first game and then tied the heavily favored Brazilian team. Maybe the Brazil coach should enforce some of the same rules.
Sorry Mexico. No romps for you6.) Where is the Vuvuzela? I wrote all about the Vuvuzela on this blog four years ago (Futbol Rules the World, 6/14/10) and miss it's lovely buzz in the background of all the games. Apparently all of the complaints from 2010 worked and the Vuvuzela will not be present at this World Cup. Luckily, Brazil has replaced it with this:
It's called the Caxirola7.) The U.S.A. won it's first game? Huh?
8.) Seriously, the United States Men National Soccer Team finally beat Ghana at the World Cup. And in dramatic fashion, winning on a header by John in the 86th minute. Okay, let's use his last name because it's pretty impressive. John Brooks, playing in his first World Cup game, scored the game winner. Congrats young man. Now don't blow it against Portugal on Sunday.
There it is. Just a few musings from the first week of the World Cup. The march towards July 13th continues, when we finally see the champion of the 2014 World Cup. And then I can forget about soccer for another four years.
May 28, 2014
Kick Start This
"Can't wait for the Kickstarter Kickstarter does for itself when it runs out of money."- Josh Belville
Now, I'm not sure the events of which caused Mr. Belville to tweet this quote, but I know when this feeling happened to me. Let me begin by saying that I am not against crowd funding campaigns. It can have very helpful uses, especially when it comes to the Arts. Need help to put on the Art show you've always wanted to do? Done. Need to raise money to buy instruments for a school or youth program to stay subsidized? You bet. Want to donate to help a local theater company continue to produce plays? Yep..
These are just a few examples of what I consider crowd funding can be used for. There are many more out there and I applaud you for that. It has come to a point, though, in which people have become lazy and do not want to do a little work, if any, to earn money. Now, I'm not saying people don't work hard. They may or may not be upholding their end of the bargain. I'm simply looking at it from an outsider's perspective as these crowd funding websites pop up daily. As an example, I use theater. Say there is this workshop you really want to attend that is a six week workshop. Let's say it costs, oh, $2000 to attend said workshop. You don't have that sort of money, but you really want to go. So you apply, get accepted, and then remember "wait, I can't afford that." So what do you do? You start a campaign to raise the money. In your eyes, if all goes according to plan, you're friends, family, and possibly acquaintances will pay for this workshop for you. All you had to do was apply for the workshop.
I understand that the entire point of crowd funding is a way to have an online fundraiser. And yes, there is usually some sort of reward level for people that donate. When it comes to personal stuff like this, I suppose, I just prefer a good old fashioned fundraiser. The cause of me writing this was something I stumbled upon Facebook last week. There, before my very eyes, was a post for Honeyfund.com. In case you were wondering, this site is a crowd funding site to help send couples on their honeymoon. Really people? Have we really come to a point in which couples go and specifically solicit friends and family to pay for their honeymoon? Yes, I understand people need help financially in wedding/honeymoon situations, but at least privately ask for help. Don't go around and publicly ask for money to send you on your dream honeymoon. Or here's another novel idea for you: If you can't afford your dream honeymoon, don't go on one. Isn't the point about being together and having a good time somewhere? You can always put it off and SAVE for that dream honeymoon, like many people used to do.
Point being, it seems a fair amount of people are inexplicably becoming lazier. It seems that they have lost that sense of enjoyment and satisfaction of working hard to achieve something. To me, I get more satisfaction in saving/earning money to achieve said goal on my own. I know much that is accomplished in life is not ever truly on one's own, but at least have the courage to set out on a path to accomplish something. Hard work makes the reward that much sweeter, whether it be a dance workshop or your honeymoon.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Here are five crowd funding campaigns I will soon be starting.
1.) Pay Jason's Rent for Three Months
-This one's pretty simple. You pay my rent for three months, I'll be a lot happier. That's your reward.
2.) Send Jason to Boston for Two Weeks
-This one works in the opposite. The more money I raise, the longer I'll be gone. In which your reward will be your happiness.
3.) Lasik Eye Surgery
-I'm simply selfish on this one. I'm just tired of putting contacts in and don't like glasses.
4.) Buy my Groceries for a Month
-Donate to the cause and I will cook you dinner one night. I'm not a great cook, but decent enough to provide an adequate meal for the night.
5.) Pay off my Car Loan
-Who likes car payments? Not this guy! Donate now and receive a car ride to the destination of your choice. *West Coast Only
Please contact me if you'd like to donate. I look forward to spending your money...I mean bettering my life and my career.
*A postscript to this blog post: As of today, 07/07, a report came out that a kid in Ohio raised over $9000 for a kickstarter campaign to raise money to make a better potato salad. Granted, he set a goal of $10, but really people? Even if 9000 only gave one dollar a piece this is a little ridiculous. Time to start cashing in on this internet craze, I suppose.
Now, I'm not sure the events of which caused Mr. Belville to tweet this quote, but I know when this feeling happened to me. Let me begin by saying that I am not against crowd funding campaigns. It can have very helpful uses, especially when it comes to the Arts. Need help to put on the Art show you've always wanted to do? Done. Need to raise money to buy instruments for a school or youth program to stay subsidized? You bet. Want to donate to help a local theater company continue to produce plays? Yep..
These are just a few examples of what I consider crowd funding can be used for. There are many more out there and I applaud you for that. It has come to a point, though, in which people have become lazy and do not want to do a little work, if any, to earn money. Now, I'm not saying people don't work hard. They may or may not be upholding their end of the bargain. I'm simply looking at it from an outsider's perspective as these crowd funding websites pop up daily. As an example, I use theater. Say there is this workshop you really want to attend that is a six week workshop. Let's say it costs, oh, $2000 to attend said workshop. You don't have that sort of money, but you really want to go. So you apply, get accepted, and then remember "wait, I can't afford that." So what do you do? You start a campaign to raise the money. In your eyes, if all goes according to plan, you're friends, family, and possibly acquaintances will pay for this workshop for you. All you had to do was apply for the workshop.
I understand that the entire point of crowd funding is a way to have an online fundraiser. And yes, there is usually some sort of reward level for people that donate. When it comes to personal stuff like this, I suppose, I just prefer a good old fashioned fundraiser. The cause of me writing this was something I stumbled upon Facebook last week. There, before my very eyes, was a post for Honeyfund.com. In case you were wondering, this site is a crowd funding site to help send couples on their honeymoon. Really people? Have we really come to a point in which couples go and specifically solicit friends and family to pay for their honeymoon? Yes, I understand people need help financially in wedding/honeymoon situations, but at least privately ask for help. Don't go around and publicly ask for money to send you on your dream honeymoon. Or here's another novel idea for you: If you can't afford your dream honeymoon, don't go on one. Isn't the point about being together and having a good time somewhere? You can always put it off and SAVE for that dream honeymoon, like many people used to do.
Point being, it seems a fair amount of people are inexplicably becoming lazier. It seems that they have lost that sense of enjoyment and satisfaction of working hard to achieve something. To me, I get more satisfaction in saving/earning money to achieve said goal on my own. I know much that is accomplished in life is not ever truly on one's own, but at least have the courage to set out on a path to accomplish something. Hard work makes the reward that much sweeter, whether it be a dance workshop or your honeymoon.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Here are five crowd funding campaigns I will soon be starting.
1.) Pay Jason's Rent for Three Months
-This one's pretty simple. You pay my rent for three months, I'll be a lot happier. That's your reward.
2.) Send Jason to Boston for Two Weeks
-This one works in the opposite. The more money I raise, the longer I'll be gone. In which your reward will be your happiness.
3.) Lasik Eye Surgery
-I'm simply selfish on this one. I'm just tired of putting contacts in and don't like glasses.
4.) Buy my Groceries for a Month
-Donate to the cause and I will cook you dinner one night. I'm not a great cook, but decent enough to provide an adequate meal for the night.
5.) Pay off my Car Loan
-Who likes car payments? Not this guy! Donate now and receive a car ride to the destination of your choice. *West Coast Only
Please contact me if you'd like to donate. I look forward to spending your money...I mean bettering my life and my career.
*A postscript to this blog post: As of today, 07/07, a report came out that a kid in Ohio raised over $9000 for a kickstarter campaign to raise money to make a better potato salad. Granted, he set a goal of $10, but really people? Even if 9000 only gave one dollar a piece this is a little ridiculous. Time to start cashing in on this internet craze, I suppose.
May 13, 2014
NBA Conspiracy: Redux
Normally I don't re-post previous blog posts, but in lieu of the end of tonight's Thunder/Clippers game, I feel I have an obligation to the NBA community. If you didn't see it, I'll sum it up by saying the refs missed two, possibly three fouls in the last 45 seconds of the game. I will simply say this: Chris Paul may have been fouled, the ball was off of the Thunder player, and Chris Paul DID NOT foul Russell Westbrook. Sure, the Clippers blew a 13 point lead with a few minutes left, but that is beside the point. There is a conspiracy afoot again. Just substitute Adam Silver for David Stern. Or don't. Perhaps David Stern is still calling the shots. And he wanted the Thunder to win because he is looking for the Lebron/Durant rematch. Doc Rivers is going to get fined by the league after his press conference tonight. That much I know for sure.
*This article originally appeared May 28th, 2012
The bat phone. If any of you are fans, or have even seen, the original Batman series from the 60's starring Adam West, you will most certainly remember the Bat Phone. It was a red colored phone that, I believe, was not only at the bat cave, but one also sat in Commissioner Gordon's office. Commissioner Gordon would use this phone to contact Batman when the city of Gotham was in trouble. Or vice versa if Batman had happened to solve the puzzle and want to warn Gordon ahead of time.
What does all of this have to do with the NBA and conspiracies? I'm glad you asked and the answer is simple: Commissioner David Stern of the NBA has his very own Bat Phone that he uses to help control outcomes of games.
The theory all started about twelve years ago. And it's roots are traced back to the L.A. Lakers. The Lakers had some classic battles with the Sacramento Kings, yet the Kings were never quite able to get out of the Conference Finals. This was a good Kings team. They had Chris Webber, Vlade Divac, and Jason Williams, to name a few. No matter how hard they tried, the Lakers won out in 7 games, advanced to the Finals, and eventually won a few Championships in the mean time.
Of course I won't completely discredit these victories because the Lakers had a few "decent" players themselves. (See: O'Neal, Shaq and Bryant, Kobe) The Kings would be winning games, but then funny things would start to happen. Phantom foul calls and mysterious violations would begin to plague the Kings. Bryant would mysteriously start getting fouled every time he went into the lane, even though he was getting hit less than he was earlier in the game with no fouls being called. Because he knew that having the Lakers in the Finals would translate into bigger ratings and thus more money,David Stern would reach to his Bat Phone and place a call to the referees. The instructions were simple: Find simple ways throughout the course of the game to help the Lakers out. A foul call here. A technical there. No one would be the wiser.
Over the years, it seemed that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were at the receiving end of such phone calls. Mr. Bryant has won five titles during this time frame. Not only was the phone used in playoff games, but mysterious calls would start going Kobe's way towards the end of regular season games as well. It also benefited other teams as well. Remember when it seemed all but certain the Mavs were going to beat the Heat all those years ago? Well, one call by Mr. Stern allowed Shaquille O'Neal to win his last title, this time with the young Dwayne Wade. Careful as to not let anyone in on this little trick he pulled, Stern had to be careful to spread things out and let the Spurs win a championship from time to time. The Spurs are the NBA's most boring team, according to most casual fans, so Mr. Stern knew his secret would be safe.
Except I know the truth, David Stern, I know the truth. You proved my theory this very evening. Tonight Mr. Stern lit up the phone that sits in the ref's dressing room with another simple instruction: Find anyway possible to aid Lebron in getting to the Finals. The refs happily obliged in the first half, issuing 3 technical fouls on the Boston Celtics in the first half. These were technical fouls that would have normally not been called in any other game, but David Stern knows something we don't. He needs Lebron in the Finals. Lebron needs the help. (I'd be surprised if Kobe hasn't passed his Bat Phone over to Lebron). Stern knows the Celtics are a good team with a good market, but their time has passed. The NBA is gearing for an Oklahoma City vs Heat showdown, with the market surrounding the match-up of Kevin Durant vs. Lebron James.
(Surprisingly, David Stern has not used the bat phone in the Western Conference yet. Only one game has been played, so there is still time.)
Thirteen years David Stern has been placing these calls. (As I'm typing, a fourth technical was just issued. I think he's reading this blog as I type). The casual fan may believe these are simply bad calls, but after following the progress of such events over the years, I believe otherwise. Will it end soon? Can the Boston Celtics overcome such obstacles to beat the obviously better team? Will someone at least get David Stern a Bat Cell Phone? Has Kobe Bryant seen the last of his championships? Does Tim Duncan have access to the David Stern Bat Phone? Will Lebron ever win a championship? Find out next week. Same David Stern time. Same David Stern channel...
*This article originally appeared May 28th, 2012
The bat phone. If any of you are fans, or have even seen, the original Batman series from the 60's starring Adam West, you will most certainly remember the Bat Phone. It was a red colored phone that, I believe, was not only at the bat cave, but one also sat in Commissioner Gordon's office. Commissioner Gordon would use this phone to contact Batman when the city of Gotham was in trouble. Or vice versa if Batman had happened to solve the puzzle and want to warn Gordon ahead of time.
What does all of this have to do with the NBA and conspiracies? I'm glad you asked and the answer is simple: Commissioner David Stern of the NBA has his very own Bat Phone that he uses to help control outcomes of games.
The theory all started about twelve years ago. And it's roots are traced back to the L.A. Lakers. The Lakers had some classic battles with the Sacramento Kings, yet the Kings were never quite able to get out of the Conference Finals. This was a good Kings team. They had Chris Webber, Vlade Divac, and Jason Williams, to name a few. No matter how hard they tried, the Lakers won out in 7 games, advanced to the Finals, and eventually won a few Championships in the mean time.
Of course I won't completely discredit these victories because the Lakers had a few "decent" players themselves. (See: O'Neal, Shaq and Bryant, Kobe) The Kings would be winning games, but then funny things would start to happen. Phantom foul calls and mysterious violations would begin to plague the Kings. Bryant would mysteriously start getting fouled every time he went into the lane, even though he was getting hit less than he was earlier in the game with no fouls being called. Because he knew that having the Lakers in the Finals would translate into bigger ratings and thus more money,David Stern would reach to his Bat Phone and place a call to the referees. The instructions were simple: Find simple ways throughout the course of the game to help the Lakers out. A foul call here. A technical there. No one would be the wiser.
Over the years, it seemed that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were at the receiving end of such phone calls. Mr. Bryant has won five titles during this time frame. Not only was the phone used in playoff games, but mysterious calls would start going Kobe's way towards the end of regular season games as well. It also benefited other teams as well. Remember when it seemed all but certain the Mavs were going to beat the Heat all those years ago? Well, one call by Mr. Stern allowed Shaquille O'Neal to win his last title, this time with the young Dwayne Wade. Careful as to not let anyone in on this little trick he pulled, Stern had to be careful to spread things out and let the Spurs win a championship from time to time. The Spurs are the NBA's most boring team, according to most casual fans, so Mr. Stern knew his secret would be safe.
Except I know the truth, David Stern, I know the truth. You proved my theory this very evening. Tonight Mr. Stern lit up the phone that sits in the ref's dressing room with another simple instruction: Find anyway possible to aid Lebron in getting to the Finals. The refs happily obliged in the first half, issuing 3 technical fouls on the Boston Celtics in the first half. These were technical fouls that would have normally not been called in any other game, but David Stern knows something we don't. He needs Lebron in the Finals. Lebron needs the help. (I'd be surprised if Kobe hasn't passed his Bat Phone over to Lebron). Stern knows the Celtics are a good team with a good market, but their time has passed. The NBA is gearing for an Oklahoma City vs Heat showdown, with the market surrounding the match-up of Kevin Durant vs. Lebron James.
(Surprisingly, David Stern has not used the bat phone in the Western Conference yet. Only one game has been played, so there is still time.)
Thirteen years David Stern has been placing these calls. (As I'm typing, a fourth technical was just issued. I think he's reading this blog as I type). The casual fan may believe these are simply bad calls, but after following the progress of such events over the years, I believe otherwise. Will it end soon? Can the Boston Celtics overcome such obstacles to beat the obviously better team? Will someone at least get David Stern a Bat Cell Phone? Has Kobe Bryant seen the last of his championships? Does Tim Duncan have access to the David Stern Bat Phone? Will Lebron ever win a championship? Find out next week. Same David Stern time. Same David Stern channel...
April 16, 2014
A Press Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Indianapolis, Indiana: After many years of debate, the NCAA has finally given into what student athletes for years have been clamoring for: more snacks.
For Division I athletes of both men and women alike, orange slices and Sunny D will be provided to the players for immediate consumption after each game, set, or match. Said snacks will be provided by the Coach's [wife, husband, significant other]. Players are not to complain if given apples instead of oranges and Capri Sun's instead of Sunny D.
Lower Divisions of Athletics [see Division II and Division III] will also receive snacks, but drinks will not be provided.
This release also contains a few rule changes and announcements for other major college sports.
As it once was in Little League and other sports played as a child, all players must participate in at least 1/3 of the game. All student athletes deserve at least this much, in fairness of sportsmanship. And sharing.
In correlation to this, scores will no longer be kept, except in Football. The NCAA believes in a world of participating and learning, not in competing in contests to test one's character, determination, and will. No one likes losers, so let's just eliminate a winning and losing side altogether. Every person and team is a winner in our book. Except in football. We make a lot of money off of college football.
Speaking of football, we have added Rule 361 to Section F. All Defensive players must count to seven Mississippi before rushing the Quarterback. This new rule will be enforced in 2014 in order to aid struggling Offensive's all over the country.
Student Athletes will now be paid a stipend. It's not enough that many of the athletes demanding money are currently at school on a full ride scholarship [free education], but we feel they should be paid a little extra. Once again, it's only fair.
Players will be allowed to skip more classes. Now, instead of taking English 101, players will simply be assigned mandatory nap time.
No matter what anyone says, Women's Beach Volleyball is a sport at many Universities. Baseball is not. Because football needs 80 scholarships a year. You do the math.
The NCAA thanks you for your time. Remember, sharing is caring.
April 8, 2014
Afternoon (but no delight)
*A quick disclaimer. The following blog will not be about the song "Afternoon Delight" and it will not be about sex in the afternoon (or lack there of). Just letting everyone know before the wacky ideas start flying. This blog just needed a title. Don't judge me.
As we move into the second week of April, I was weighing many topics of which I wanted to write on. Or about. While my mind is constantly producing ideas and a mash up of ridiculous thoughts, for today I settled on doing something I hadn't written about in awhile. Me. More specifically, just a quick update on the writing of which I'm doing and perhaps other things. Mostly the writing.
I have not completed a new full length play over a year. I have re-written my first original screenplay The True Life and have submitted that to a couple of different places. One place actually provided feedback on the script. Though it was rejected, the script has definitely come along over the years and the feedback is always welcome.
I have another screenplay, that after years of only writing it at Christmas time, has finally proceeded into the third act. And for the first time, I have actually been writing it not just at Christmas time. Which means I get to enjoy Christmas music year round. It is oh so close to be finished, finally, and for that I'm proud.
My two full length plays, Poison and Solace, have been submitted to various places across this wondrous United States. Though they are completed, the evolution of a play is always continuing, and I am always working to make the play as complete as possible, in that regard.
I have started a couple of new plays, but they are both in the early stages. I hope to have a first draft of one of them done by the end of May. I have finished a ten minute play, which I hadn't written one in that format since college. It was enlightening, in a way, and actually gave me some new ideas within the writing process.
Since the year, I have really dedicated myself to sitting down and writing anywhere from two to six hours per day. Whether it's working on something or doing free writing, I really find that this process is worth it. Definitely frustrating at times to see the rejection letters pile up, but it's what I signed up for. One isn't something in life with a little bit of struggle. It certainly helps in the creative process. Aside from the last month, when I was assistant director for "The Little Dog Laughed" at Alley Repertory Theater, I have stuck by writing on a daily basis. And that's what make's me happy. So of course, I will continue to pursue the dream of doing it on a full time, paid, basis. And also be writing enough to not have to inundate everyone with these updates more than once year.
Until next time, when I tell you why Johnny Manziel will become the next Ryan Leaf.
"Stay in the moment, focus on one big task at a time, and don't get paralyzed by perfection."
As we move into the second week of April, I was weighing many topics of which I wanted to write on. Or about. While my mind is constantly producing ideas and a mash up of ridiculous thoughts, for today I settled on doing something I hadn't written about in awhile. Me. More specifically, just a quick update on the writing of which I'm doing and perhaps other things. Mostly the writing.
I have not completed a new full length play over a year. I have re-written my first original screenplay The True Life and have submitted that to a couple of different places. One place actually provided feedback on the script. Though it was rejected, the script has definitely come along over the years and the feedback is always welcome.
I have another screenplay, that after years of only writing it at Christmas time, has finally proceeded into the third act. And for the first time, I have actually been writing it not just at Christmas time. Which means I get to enjoy Christmas music year round. It is oh so close to be finished, finally, and for that I'm proud.
My two full length plays, Poison and Solace, have been submitted to various places across this wondrous United States. Though they are completed, the evolution of a play is always continuing, and I am always working to make the play as complete as possible, in that regard.
I have started a couple of new plays, but they are both in the early stages. I hope to have a first draft of one of them done by the end of May. I have finished a ten minute play, which I hadn't written one in that format since college. It was enlightening, in a way, and actually gave me some new ideas within the writing process.
Since the year, I have really dedicated myself to sitting down and writing anywhere from two to six hours per day. Whether it's working on something or doing free writing, I really find that this process is worth it. Definitely frustrating at times to see the rejection letters pile up, but it's what I signed up for. One isn't something in life with a little bit of struggle. It certainly helps in the creative process. Aside from the last month, when I was assistant director for "The Little Dog Laughed" at Alley Repertory Theater, I have stuck by writing on a daily basis. And that's what make's me happy. So of course, I will continue to pursue the dream of doing it on a full time, paid, basis. And also be writing enough to not have to inundate everyone with these updates more than once year.
Until next time, when I tell you why Johnny Manziel will become the next Ryan Leaf.
"Stay in the moment, focus on one big task at a time, and don't get paralyzed by perfection."
