K. Wendt's Blog, page 8

Love: Friendship

Love:  Friendship

            You know, one thing I don’t have a lot of are friends. The few I have mean the world to me and I would do just about anything for any of them. I looked up the definition of friendship before starting this blog. Basically, it’s the relationship between friends. No surprise there, but one definition had an addition of being kind to one another.

            Isn’t that interesting. I know friendships exists in many forms…acquaintances, work, church, long-time relations, let’s not forget those Facebook friends! And a few of us have a bestie somewhere in the mix.

            I never really put the importance of kindness into the mix with my friendships. I have a circle of friends that are very, very dear to me. I try to show kindness and love to them when I can, but I never really thought about the importance of being kind.

            It doesn’t take anything to be kind. To just listen when they need an ear. Be there when they’re scared and with them in shear moments of joy are always better celebrated with friends than alone. Being kind turns into love. If we practice kindness to one another, we will in turn love one another just as our Creator intended.

Love: Unconditional

Love:  Unconditional

According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary, the definition of unconditional is:  not limited in any way: complete and absolute. When you think of love, who do you love unconditionally?

Don’t just go spouting off names of people now. Really think about what I’m asking you.

Who do you love without limitation, completely, and absolutely?

Be honest, was your spouse in your list of people?

Be honest, were they?

Now, tell me, do you love them unconditionally? No matter what happens or what they may do or have already done, you love them. Right?

As your thinking about all this, ask yourself again, do you love them unconditionally?

I believe that if we are all to be honest with ourselves, the answer is no. We put conditions on our relationships with virtually everyone. We may not admit there are conditions or limitations to our love of our significant other, but we all there are.

Think about the list of traits for your ideal mate you created before being with them. Why did you make the list if you are going to love them unconditionally? To love unconditionally, we can’t set a standard. So, I ask again, do you love them unconditionally?

The reason I’m stressing this point so much is that I believe unconditional love is reserved for loving our children and our Creator.

Think about it, that child is in your care. Everything they could possible learn could come from you. You want to walk the road before them and sweep pebbles aside that may trip them as they go. If you could, you would hold their hand crossing the street until you are no longer among this world.

It doesn’t matter what the child does. Doesn’t matter how good or bad something may go. All that really matters is your child knows they can always come home.

That has always been something I have desired. No matter how old my children are, I want them to know they can always come home. Fortunately, I think they do know that.

I would do anything for my children. It’s hard when I know I need to let them learn something on their own, but how do I prepare them to love their own future children unconditionally if I don’t.

We were all created by a masterful hand. Our Creator cares for us as we care for our children. Thankfully, his love is unconditional and he’ll never leave us.

That’s what I desire. I’ll never leave my children. I can’t even fathom an idea like that. The mere fact that I have them is a blessing and I could never fully express my thankfulness for each of them.

*I’m not saying you can’t love other people unconditionally. When I personally think of unconditional love, I think of my children and that is why I used them as my example for this blog.

Love: The Fairy Tale

Love:  The Fairy Tale

            Okay, so it’s February. Obviously, that’s the month to blog about love. What better way to start off the month than to discuss the fairy tales we all heard while growing up.

            You know the ones I’m talking about. Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty… the list goes on and on. Stories told to us as little girls about a beautiful and kind girl who always ended up with Prince Charming.

            As we grew older, we started looking for that prince to appear. We just knew he was around the corner waiting to take us to our “happily ever after.”

            So, we marry the man we believe to be fulfilling that dream and we leave off to ever after in a dream state. We enter into our married life giddy with the idea of creating a life with the man we married. Then years pass… and we realize that the fairy tale was all a lie.

            The fairy tale made us believe there would be no problems, no quarrels, and no pain. It made us believe in the whisper of “I love you” in the ear and yet, some of us find ourselves wondering if we took the wrong pumpkin carriage home.

            The truth is, because we all fell for the fairy tale, we weren’t prepared for real life and the bumps that come along the way. People probably tried to warn us, especially if we married young. But we chose not to listen because the groom was our Prince Charming and he was going to give us “happily ever after.”

            I’m not knocking the fairy tale. I have a wonderful friend that calls her groom her “sweet prince” every chance she gets. Honestly, I wish I was like that. Maybe then, the fairy tale would be more realistic.

            The truth is, though, that while letting our daughters learn about the fairy tales, we need to prepare them reality. We need to help them understand that there is no such thing as perfection. There will be times when you and your “prince” disagree. Problems will arise that you both will need to work through, but maybe if you are willing to work, you will have a better chance at “happily ever after.”

 

New Year, New You, Recap

New Year, New You,

Recap

            For this blog series, I focused on a “new you.” While the blogs were simple, I hope I have encourage you to do at least one thing that changes something about yourself or your situation.

            I believe growth is an important part of getting older no matter what age you are. I believe that when you challenge yourself to do or be something better, then you are succeeding.

            I also believe that the more you try to improve yourself, the more you see growth occur around you. You may think that your opinion doesn’t matter or that you’re too small of a fish in the ocean. It doesn’t matter what your place in life is. The point of life is to live it.

            So, I encourage you to do just that, live your life! You only have this one. Wouldn’t it be better to live it trying to always do and be better than you were yesterday? Better each day than the day before!

            It’s a hard thing to do. I fail at it constantly, but at least I try. I know when I try, then I’m giving myself the chance at things improving and goals getting accomplished.

New Year, New You, New Thoughts

New Year, New You,

New Thoughts

            Last week, I spoke on changing your mindset. This week’s blog ties into that. If we want to change the mindset, we need to change some of the thoughts we have.

Let’s face it, we all have something about ourselves that we think negatively about. Maybe it’s our weight. Maybe it’s our look. Our style. Our hair.

Maybe we think we don’t deserve to go after something for some reason. Maybe we have the belief that we aren’t good enough for a job promotion or, in my case, being a successful author.

Maybe we think we don’t deserve that big, nice new home or new car or whatever it is we secretly wished we had all along.

Maybe…. maybe we need to stop all the “maybe” and realize that we are the ones stopping ourselves from moving forward.

If you don’t like your weight, lose it. Stop thinking about how much better you would feel and do what you need to lose the weight.

Cut your hair. Style your hair. Color your hair. Hair grows back. Take the leap and do something different with it.

Embrace your style. It was makes you uniquely you. Your style defines you. So, let your personality flow and be proud of your style.

I chased my dream to be a published author for a long time. I finally realized I was the only one holding myself back and I went for it. Today, I have published seven books. Now that being said, I still don’t know that my works are worthy of the best seller list or that I’ll ever be in the same ranks as Beverly Lewis or Janet Evanovich, but I don’t know if I don’t try to move myself forward.

Are you up for promotion or think you deserve one? Go after it. Stop accepting what you’re getting now if you think it’s time for it to increase.

And here’s another hard one for me. Stop thinking you don’t deserve things like a beautiful new home. You do!

The key to any of the rambling typed above is controlling your thought process when it comes to yourself and your self-perception. You need to believe in yourself. You need to tell yourself daily that you are beautiful because the Creator created you, took the time to design you exactly as you are. Embrace it. You need to tell yourself that you are capable of doing the job you have and then some. You need convince yourself the life-long dream you’ve had is worth chasing.

Change starts with you. Change your thoughts about yourself. Thank your Creator for creating you and allow him to help you see the value in yourself.

New Year, New You, New Perspective

New Year, New You,

New Perspective

            I think the beginning of the year is a good time start working on a “change of mindset”. I believe if you spend your time in an unhealthy mindset, you will only get worse as to the landscape of your thoughts.

            What I mean is, I believe that being a positive or negative person has a great effect on you and those around you. I say this because I noticed toward the end of 2016, I was becoming a nasty, negative person. I didn’t like that realization, but I was tired and I had a very short supply of tolerance.

            I was tired mentally, physically, and spiritually. I was wearing myself out because my plate was too full and there seemed to not be a realistic way to balance it.           

            I began to hate who I had become. I didn’t want to be known as a “Negative Nellie”. I didn’t want to exclude people because my tongue was sharp with intolerance. I didn’t want to make all the decisions because I had done that so long, I didn’t want to be captain of the ship anymore.

            So, with start of 2017, I made a conscious decision to change my perspective. I prayerfully beg my Creator to guide my words in most things. I try to see the positive even when I don’t like what I’m hearing or seeing. I have even started “not engaging” in certain conversations because I didn’t want to get sucked in to something that was cause me to react negatively.

            Three weeks into the new year and I’m doing well. I still have moments, but I try recover quickly when I realize where I’m headed. This isn’t something that will change overnight. It’s a process and it may a lifelong one at that. The point is, you need to want to make the change and if you allow your Creator to guide you, it’ll be a journey worth traveling.

New Year, New You, New Shape

New Year, New You,

New Shape

            How many of you at the beginning of a new year decide you’re going to lose weight? I have been guilty of it in the past, but truth be told, I always failed when trying to start the new year off like that.

            Why?

            I think, for me, it was because it’s a little cold outside in January and one of my favorite forms of losing weight is through walking.

            I don’t do gym memberships. Really, I don’t want to see sweaty you anymore than you would want to see me. For me, exercising is a private function because I don’t quite have the elegant form of the instructor. Nobody needs to know how choppy my movements are.

            As I type this to you, I need to be honest. I did start losing weight in 2016, but it wasn’t due to a resolution. It was due to my self-consciousness of how I appeared at events. My self-esteem is not very high. I don’t see the pretty red head so many people compliment on.

            I wanted to start feeling good about myself at events and liking the pictures taken during these times. So, I made a decision and I started doing what was necessary to lose weight. As I started 2017, I was indeed smaller, but not quite where I’m wanting to be, so I will continue to work on it.

            But, you know, our bodies are not the only things that can change shape. How we do things and perceive things is shaped by our own minds. Clutter around us can clutter up our thoughts and cause us to feel down or overwhelmed.

            We need to only take care of our physical shape for our health, but also our mental shape. If you want a good, productive year, then clean out the clutter in your thoughts and focus on what is most important.

New Year, New You

New Year, New You 

            Happy New Year to everyone! I have decided with this new year to try something a little different with my blog. I’m going to attempt to have twelve series of blogs this year. That’s one series a month, a new point in each series within the month I write it. So, with that being said, here I go!

            What better way to start than to start with the fact that it is a new year! A lot of us make resolutions when the new year comes ringing in. My question is; are the resolutions really needed? Do we need to resolve to do something new or change something we are doing?

            My answer, is both yes and no.

            I say yes because change is a good thing. If we are wanting to change something in a positive way, then we should. Anything that helps us have better health, better relationships, and a better journey in our career goals are good things to do. I’m not saying anything you want to do to achieve these goals is right. Everything is to be done within reason.

            I also said my answer is no.

            Here is why I say no. The resolutions people ritualistically make every year are things we can all resolve to do anytime of the year. While I understand that this ritual does help jump start people into doing things that better themselves, why wait to do change?

            The time to change is when you recognize that it is needed. That can be any time of the year. If, however, you need the ceremony created by a year ending and a new year beginning, then please do so. Take the step and make the change that will better yourself somehow. Whatever it takes to be a new you!

It Is That Simple

           Here recently, I have been turning the radio up in my car when a certain song comes on. It is, “I Wanna Go Back,” by David Dunn. It’s about going back to the time of being a child and remembering that my Creator loves me. It’s a great song! Look it up.

            But, not only is it a great song. It also caused me to think about the words and the simplicity behind them. How many times in our adult lives do we experience moments when we just want to go back to the days of childhood and the simple knowledge that Jesus loves me?

            When I realized what Mr. Dunn was singing about, I began to smile. It really is as simple as remembering my Creator loves me. No matter what I do or what I accomplish, my Creator loves me and all He wants is for me to love Him back!

            Sometimes, it gets hard to live in this world full of chaos. It’s hard to remember that no matter what, you are loved unconditionally by the one who created you. I’ve admitted a few times that I sometimes find myself fighting to be worthy of His creation. Thanks to this song, though, I’m reminded that I don’t have to fight to be worthy because to Him, I always have been.

            Sure, I fall and blemish the image He created of me. I’m imperfect and He is okay with that. He still accepts and loves me even with the scars of my ignorance. I may struggle with certain decisions. I may not understand the road I’m on sometimes, but my Creator loves me and no matter what else is going on, it really is that simple!

Kindness

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Have you ever noticed how we sometimes tend to be more alert to being kind to others around the holidays?? I’m not being accusatory. I’m simply stating an observation that our society seems to be a little more in tuned with the act of kindness as we get closer to Christmas. The media pushes the idea a little harder. We watch old movies that express the need for kindness and make us rethink how we sometimes are with others.

But what about being kind daily? Where has that gone to? When did we become a society of selfish, it’s all about me, people? And why did we ever think it was okay to think that way?

We are designed to need and love others. We are designed to care for one another. Our Creator wants nothing more than love and expects us to also love others. Kindness is a form of love.

Through kindness, we take two seconds to make someone smile. We help someone with something routinely simply or extremely difficult to handle. We pray for those we know and love when we can do nothing else.

So, why is it so hard to show a little kindness these days? When did that happen and why?

For me, in these past few years, I have been very quick to anger at times and forgotten to show love. I feel as though I’ve become intolerant of behavior. I used to be better than that. I used to try to remember that the only story I know in full detail is my own. I used to be kind no matter what because it was the right thing to do.

What happened? When did I change and why? Is this something that happens as you get older? If so, my age progression can stop right now!

I know, for me, I have endured a lot of high stressed moments in the last few years that made it hard to operate a normal routine. I find myself hating who I am in those moments where I can tell stress is taking control of me. I don’t like who I become in those moments.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the act of being kind. As I hear things on the news, I realize we are losing that simple gesture more and more every day and I find that to be very sad.

I, for one, don’t want to be that person. I refuse to let the stress in my life dictate my actions toward others. And I know how it feels when acts of kindness are done for me. We should all challenge ourselves to more kind in this now selfish world. Shame on us for allowing it get that way and shame on us if we don’t start doing something to change it! Smile at a stranger. Share food with a neighbor. Pray for friends far away. Love those around you a little more.

Being kind always helps things go better.