Soraya Diase Coffelt's Blog, page 9
March 21, 2022
Teach Your Children About Successful and; Courageous Women Today, in Our Past History, and in the Bible
Women’s History Month started off as just a weeklong celebration of the contributions of women in history. In 1980, President Jimmy Carter issued a proclamation that the week of March 8 would be dedicated to honoring women as National Women’s History Week. Congress later expanded the celebration to one month. The National Women’s History Alliance selects the theme for each year and this year’s theme is “women providing healing – promoting hope”, which focuses on all the women who have been dedicated to their families and communities during the Covid pandemic and the hope women have brought.
Let us spend time this month teaching our children about the important contributions that women have made and continue to make. There are many websites with lesson plans and lots of activities for children as well as recommendations of books. I have provided some for you below.
Also, the Bible has stories of many women who were very faithful and courageous, accomplishing great things for the Lord. Author Lauren Nelson wrote a children’s book titled Sheroes of the Bible which is beautifully illustrated and tells the stories of heroines for God. A link to her website is provided below. I recently interviewed Lauren for my podcast Be Convinced! Sharing Stories of Hope. She has an inspiring story to share that will bring you hope! Please visit this link to listen to the interview Ep. #61.
To learn more, please visit:
https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/2022-theme/
https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/womens-history-month#women-s-history-month-
https://www.parentmap.com/article/brilliant-new-books-celebrate-womens-history-month-2022
March 14, 2022
Helping Your Children To Take Criticism Constructively
Proverbs 15:32 instructs us: “If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” (NLT) That is easier for most adults to accept and understand than children. Criticism is too common nowadays. In this blog post, I would like to discuss ways that parents can help their children to learn to become better receivers of criticisms and take them constructively rather than personally.
When parents give criticism to children, we should do all we can to deliver it with love, patience, and understanding as this will help them to better understand and accept what is being said. Our goal is not to be cruel but rather to correct or improve a behavior. Be honest and straightforward about the unacceptable behavior and do not make it personal to the child. Ensure that your children understand the reprimand. Look for ways to praise them for other things that they do as well. It will go a long way if you phrase your criticism with love.
When others criticize our children, we are usually not there to help them handle the emotions involved. But what parents can help their children with at home is to learn not to accept criticism personally, no matter who gives it to them. In an online article titled Helping Kids Take Criticism Constructively (Even When It Isn’t Constructive), author Jessica Lahey suggests that we help our children to adopt the “growth mindset” which focuses on what a person does rather that who he is. She writes that “kids with a growth mindset will be able to focus on their own effort and progress rather than the expectations and limitations other people place on them.” Your children can learn to turn criticism around and rephrase it in their minds so that they do not take the criticism as a personal attack and adversely react.
Parents can teach the “growth mindset” by doing the following:
Offer feedback. Don’t try to protect your children from criticism or pain but instead help them to listen and understand feedback. Help them to rephrase it so that it is not personal.
Don’t offer constant praise.
Empower them for change by helping them to look forward. Ask questions such as “How do you think you could have done better with this project?”
Assist them in forming new goals in moving forward. Importantly, the goals should be those of your children, not you.
To learn more, please visit:
March 7, 2022
Teaching Your Children Skills to Become Problem Solvers
When your children encounter problems, do you immediately go into problem-solving mode and try to solve them? Many parents do this out of love and concern. We believe that we need to step in and do what we can to bring about a solution because, after all, our children are too young to understand the full ramifications of their choices. While this might be helpful in some situations, we should be teaching our children the skills to allow them to learn to solve problems on their own.
Why does learning problem-solving skills matter to a child? These skills assist in improving mental health issues. Researchers have found that children who do not know how to problem solve can be more at risk of being depressed and suicidal.
Also, some children who do not have problem-solving skills tend to avoid and procrastinate rather than deal with a problem. Other children can act suddenly and impulsively, not understanding or realizing that they have choices. For example, they may hit other children or walk away suddenly from a discussion.
Experts agree that the earlier children learn problem-solving skills the more ready they will be to meet bigger challenges as they grow older. These skills have proved to be critically important for improved academic performance and for building confidence.
The basic 5 problem-solving steps are:
Identify the problem;
Develop many different solutions;
Identify the pros and cons of each solution;
Select what is believed to be the best solution;
Test it out and analyze the results.
When your children encounter a problem, assist them in using these 5 steps. They will learn as they practice. For example, if your child leaves a change of clothing at home, when he needs it after a sports event, talk with him about how that problem can be solved so it does not happen again in the future. Give your child the opportunity to come up with solutions. I am certain that you will be pleasantly surprised at how creative they can be!
To learn more, please visit:
https://www.verywellfamily.com/teach-kids-problem-solving-skills-1095015
February 28, 2022
Teaching Your Children About Integrity as Part of Godly Character
What is integrity? The Cambridge Dictionary defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change”. Does God care about a person’s integrity? Yes, He does! Part of a godly character is having integrity and as parents, we are called to raise children of integrity.
There are two Bible verses that I would like to share about integrity. Proverbs 10:9 (NIV) states “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” Being a person of integrity, therefore, brings direction from God and security. On the other hand, a person who does not have integrity will take all sorts of different, easier, and quicker paths because there is no foundation of honor and respect toward God or anyone else – just self.
According to Psalm 25:21 (NIV), integrity offers a person protection because all our hope is in God: “May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord, is in you.” Again, this verse emphasizes the protection and security that comes from integrity. The person’s hope is in the Lord, not in himself or anything that he can do to achieve his own goals.
How do we teach integrity to our children? First and foremost, we must walk in integrity ourselves and lead by example. Our foundation must be based on God’s Word, not anything else. If your child has a question about what should be done, take him to the Bible and find out what the Bible says. Second, we should attend church regularly together as a family; have family devotional time; and talk with our children, truly listening to them. Point out people in the Bible and in our times who have walked in integrity. Children need good role models so we can help them find ones. A child will not develop integrity as part of his character on his own. The seeds of integrity must be planted, developed, and nurtured.
February 21, 2022
Being an Active Listener When Your Children Talk
American psychologist Carl Rogers once said: “ “We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.” He and Richard Farson coined the terms “active listening”.
When it comes to communicating with our children, we should develop and incorporate active listening skills. It allows them to collect their thoughts and then express them. And, importantly, it forces us to stop and listen to what is being said and truly show our love and compassion. Inevitably, it can slow things down before they get out of hand.
Try incorporating some of the following active listening techniques the next time your child wants to talk or you would like to encourage your child to talk:
Stop what you are doing and give your full attention to your child.
When your child is talking, respond with outward motions such as nodding your head and saying “ahh” “ok”. All of these show that you are listening.
Try not to interrupt when he/she is speaking.
Respond back to your child to show you are listening and trying to understand. For example, you can say “I think I understand from what you are saying … Is that right?”
As parents, we are continually lecturing our children, expecting them to listen to us and do what we ask. It would be a wonderful change to start actively listening to them!
To learn more about active listening, visit:
https://parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/behaviour/active-listening/
https://www.peacefulparent.com/active-listening-improves-the-parent-child-relationshi/
February 14, 2022
The Importance of Families
I recently read a blog post by author, columnist and speaker Lori Borgman about the importance of the family in our society, and I wanted to share it with you because I believe that the family unit is not as strong as it should be. The blog is titled Why Family is Key to Our Nation’s Recovery. She asks and answers the question:
Why is the family key? Because families are the parts that compose the whole.
Families are microcosms of the pillars that sustain cultures, communities, and nations.
She raises some key points:
The family is where economics are taught to children - how to save, how to spend, and how to give;
The family is where a child learns about respecting other people and their rights;
The family is a child’s first school;
The family is where a child learns to worship; and
The family is where a child learns about good health habits, taking care of those who are ill and dying, and how compassion and love are intertwined.
Instead of complaining about what is happening in our society, we should be doing all we can to promote families. They are the backbone of our society and as they fail and fall apart, so goes the country.
To read the entire blog, please visit:
https://www.loriborgman.com/2022/01/09/why-family-is-key-to-our-nations-recovery/
February 7, 2022
Help Your Children To Learn About Black Health And Wellness
Black History Month was established in 1976, shifting from Black History Week, as promoted by the Association for the Study of African American Life and History. President Gerald Ford started the tradition that year proclaiming February as Black History Month to advance the achievements of African Americans, both past and present. The theme for this year’s celebration is “Black Health and Wellness” which according to the Association explores "the legacy of not only Black scholars and medical practitioners in Western medicine, but also other ways of knowing (e.g., birth workers, doulas, midwives, naturopaths, herbalists, etc.) throughout the African Diaspora. The 2022 theme considers activities, rituals and initiatives that Black communities have done to be well."
Guide your children to learn about African Americans involved in the health and wellness fields. I provide below some website links to assist you. There is a plethora of information so please take your time during this month to truly dig deep into African American history and celebrate its diverse culture and achievements. I am certain that you will learn a lot too!
To learn more, please visit:
https://www.history.com/topics/black-history/black-history-month#origins-of-black-history-month
https://www.readingrockets.org/calendar/blackhistory
https://www.education.com/activity/black-history-month/
https://www.chicagoparent.com/things-to-do/guides/black-history-month-activities-for-kids/
January 31, 2022
The Many Benefits of Fathers Reading to Children
I came across a very interesting article recently on the website moms.com about what experts are saying are the benefits associated with fathers reading to children. As the Stars of the Sky Foundation promotes literacy, as the ability to read well is such an important foundation for success. At early ages, children learn a variety of skills by being read to. Their brain is developing and soaking in all that they hear and see.
The following are some of the benefits of fathers reading to children:
Improved language development – According to an Australian study, researchers found “that fathers reading at two years promoted better language development by age four.
A more well-rounded development – Experts have found that when mothers read to their children, they focus on the content of the books. When fathers read, they talk about many different things and ask questions about the story. Children should have both methods of reading to be more well-rounded.
More gender equality – Oftentimes, women are associated with reading to children – whether they be mothers, grandmothers, or teachers. By having fathers read, children widen their perspectives of gender role models and see reading as an activity that men enjoy and do as well.
Stronger bond with children – A father taking the time to read to his children shows his love and commitment to their well-being. It tells his children that they are important to him. No one can take the place of a father as his love for and relationship with his children are extremely special and unique.
Enables relaxation – After a long day, a father who takes the time to read to his children can simultaneously relax. At bedtime, he can close the door, get out a book, and read to his child. By shutting out the world and the worries of the day, he can enjoy this time with his child.
To learn more, please visit:
January 24, 2022
The Importance of Mentors for Children
The life story about Olympic champion Billy Mills is indeed inspiring as well as demonstrates the importance of mentors in our children’s lives. Who is he and how did he become an Olympic champion?
Billy Mills is the only American who has ever won the gold medal in the 10,000-meter race in the Olympics. He did that back at the 1964 Tokyo Olympic Games. He was an underdog who ran at amazing speed from behind to win that race, which is being remembered as one of the greatest miracles in Olympic history.
He grew up on a Pine Ridge Native American reservation in South Dakota for the Oglala Lakota people. His mother died when he was 8 years old. He started to run and enjoyed it. For his first race, he wore jeans and basketball shoes and lost. His father told him “It takes a dream to heal a broken soul.” Then, his father died when he was 12. Since he was an orphan, he was sent to attend a boarding school for Native Americans in Kansas.
Depressed and lonely, he did not run again until he was in high school with the encouragement of his coach: “One of you can do something magical in sport. One of you can become a great athlete,” the coach said. “I felt it was my dad speaking to me,” Billy remembers. He ran the 4th fastest mile in the nation while in high school, eventually earning a scholarship to run at the University of Kansas and then later ran in the U.S. Marine Corps.
His mentor for training for the Olympic Games in the Marine Corps was a retired U. S. Naval Academy track coach who was deaf and read lips – Earl “Tommy” Thompson. Billy and Tommy forged a strong relationship. He qualified for the 10,000-meter race and the marathon at the Tokyo Games in 1964. He always remembered his father’s words to him, encouraging him to have a dream. His winning the 10,000-meter race is heralded as a tremendous achievement.
Billy has given back to his community by becoming a spokesman for Christian Relief Services and co-founding the foundation Running Strong for American Indian Youth, which awards grants to help those youth achieve their dreams. President Obama awarded Billy the 2012 Presidential Citizens Medal for his efforts in Native American causes.
To learn more about Billy, please visit:
https://www.passiton.com/passiton-blog/105-olympic-champions-secret-to-success
https://usopm.org/spotlight/billy-mills-plenty-of-motivation/
January 17, 2022
In Celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday: Help Your Children Learn More About His Life's Story
*Image by Dreamstime.com
The third Monday each year is a federal holiday that has been set aside for us to honor the amazing life and accomplishments of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It was created a national holiday in 1983 after 32 years of campaigning.
Please have your children involved so that they can learn more about him! There is so much information available for children that is absolutely free, from suggested activities to printouts and crossword puzzles to coloring pages as well as YouTube videos designed just for children. And, of course, there are many children’s books too. I have researched and compiled some websites for you to review and share with your children. Even if your children have done some studies about him last year or in school, there is such a vast amount of information available that they can always learn something new.
Please visit:
https://kids.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/martin-luther-king-jr
https://coloursofus.com/14-childrens-books-about-martin-luther-king-jr/
