Soraya Diase Coffelt's Blog, page 12
August 23, 2021
The Importance of Touch for Children During Parent-Child Interaction
When was the last time you hugged your child? When did you last lovingly stroke your child’s hair or arm? Experts continue to agree that nurturing touch during the parent-child interaction is very important for a child’s social, emotional, and intellectual development.
According to researchers Melody Whiddon and Marilyn Montgomery, studies have established that humans are “hardwired to crave touch and actually require it for normal physical, social, and emotional development to occur. Many systems in the brain are activated by touch, without which optimal physiological development is not possible. Moreover, positive, nurturing touch triggers the release of the ‘bonding hormone,’ Oxytocin, which increases feelings of closeness and facilitates parent-child attachment and social-emotional adjustment.”
In her online article titled The Importance of Touch - From Hugs to High-Fives, Kids of All Ages Need to Physically Feel Our Love, Susan Spicer writes that “touch=health”. Science has established that positive touch actually lowers depression. Moreover, skin-to-skin contact enhances a child’s feeling of safety and trust. Touch is an important way to communicate to children your love, care, and concern.
Parents are encouraged to positively touch and nurture their children. Young children typically seek touch, but older ones may shy away. It is recommended that parents follow their children’s cues – if a child comes seeking a hug, hug him; if the child walks away, consider some other form of showing affection, such as playful wrestling or tickling. Don’t give up! Seek to give your children that loving touch as much as possible.
To read the article by Melody Whiddon and Marilyn Montgomery and for more information, please visit:
https://www.counseling.org/resources/library/vistas/2011-v-online/Article_88.pdf
https://www.todaysparent.com/family/the-importance-of-touch/
The importance of Touch for Children During Parent-Child Interaction
When was the last time you hugged your child? When did you last lovingly stroke your child’s hair or arm? Experts continue to agree that nurturing touch during the parent-child interaction is very important for a child’s social, emotional, and intellectual development.
According to researchers Melody Whiddon and Marilyn Montgomery, studies have established that humans are “hardwired to crave touch and actually require it for normal physical, social, and emotional development to occur. Many systems in the brain are activated by touch, without which optimal physiological development is not possible. Moreover, positive, nurturing touch triggers the release of the ‘bonding hormone,’ Oxytocin, which increases feelings of closeness and facilitates parent-child attachment and social-emotional adjustment.”
In her online article titled The Importance of Touch - From Hugs to High-Fives, Kids of All Ages Need to Physically Feel Our Love, Susan Spicer writes that “touch=health”. Science has established that positive touch actually lowers depression. Moreover, skin-to-skin contact enhances a child’s feeling of safety and trust. Touch is an important way to communicate to children your love, care, and concern.
Parents are encouraged to positively touch and nurture their children. Young children typically seek touch, but older ones may shy away. It is recommended that parents follow their children’s cues – if a child comes seeking a hug, hug him; if the child walks away, consider some other form of showing affection, such as playful wrestling or tickling. Don’t give up! Seek to give your children that loving touch as much as possible.
To read the article by Melody Whiddon and Marilyn Montgomery and for more information, please visit:
https://www.counseling.org/resources/library/vistas/2011-v-online/Article_88.pdf
https://www.todaysparent.com/family/the-importance-of-touch/
August 16, 2021
Parent-Child Dates: Setting Aside Special Times With Each Child
I have written before about parents setting aside regular time for each other by having a date night and for parents to set aside time for spending with their children doing various family activities, such as a movie night. In today’s blog post, I would like to write about the importance of parent-child dates which involve special activities with just one child.
Why have special parent-child dates? These are times set aside to connect with your child, one-on-one. Each child deserves time alone with a parent. Select days on which there is no conflict in your or your child’s schedule. Give your child your direct, undistracted attention: talk with your child; find out what is on your child’s mind; discuss what are your child’s challenges. One writer described these dates as times to “engage in the individual hearts of our kids”. These are times that you can make an impact on their lives by listening and guiding them. Soon, they will be looking forward to them. And, remember that you are building precious memories for them that they will always cherish.
Although it is described as a “date”, that does not mean that it has to be done at night. There are so many ideas available as to what a parent and child can do with special time together. Please visit the website links below for wonderful suggestions, ranging from time spent fishing, going out to a restaurant to eat, and going to the library together to going on a field trip.
To learn more, please visit:
Plan A Parent-Child Date Night Every Now and Then
Start a Family Movie Night as a Regular Family Activity
August 9, 2021
Are Your Children’s Minds Blooming?
I love this quote and how it applies to the minds of our children. Their minds are indeed like flowers – they need lights of appreciation, encouragement, and love so that they can bloom and keep on blooming. Please ask yourself: are you doing as much as you can so that your children’s minds bloom?
Let’s start first with the light of “appreciation”. According to Merriam Webster’s online dictionary, appreciation is defined as “a feeling or expression of admiration, approval, or gratitude.” We parents often expect appreciation from our children for all we do for them. But, what about us showing and speaking words of appreciation to our children? We can think of ways to show our appreciation by intentionally looking for what we can, in fact, appreciate. Perhaps you can thank your children for assisting with getting dinner ready. You can express admiration for how neatly they put away their toys or clean laundry. You can express your approval of their behavior when they have listened and followed through with a request you made. The key is to be intentional about looking for what you can appreciate in them.
Second is the light of encouragement. Merriam Webster’s online dictionary defines “encourage” as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope”. Actively seek ways to give your children encouragement. If they are struggling with specific subjects at school, try to assist them with ways to improve. If they are encountering setbacks with their performance with sports or other activities, give them hope to continue. Parents are their children’s #1 cheerleaders so be there to encourage them on!
Third is the light of love. Showing that we love our children requires our time and our words, both spoken and written. Set aside quality time each day to spend with your children, whether reading or watching television or playing a game or even getting ice cream. The activities that we can do with our children are endless. The key is to have fun and not be distracted by other things as we spend time with them. Add to that telling them daily that you love them and explaining why you do. Look for reasons why, or just say “because”. Consider writing loving notes to them and include those in their lunchboxes. What a wonderful feeling they will feel when they find and read those notes of love!
Flowers can bloom when they get regular light or they can shrink and die when they don’t. Shine bright lights on your children’s flowering minds so that they continue to bloom heartily!
August 2, 2021
Teaching Our Children About Peace
You may ask “Why teach our children about peace?” There are many answers to this question and one of the most powerful is given to us by Mahatma Gandhi in the quote for my blog post today: “If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” In order to overcome all the turmoil and fighting in our world, we must educate our next generation as to how important peace is and how it can be accomplished.
I was fortunate to get the opportunity to speak with Steve Killelea, the Australian philanthropist and entrepreneur who has dedicated his life to studying peace. Steve established the Institute for Economics and Peace (IEP), a global think tank, to better understand the intersection of business, peace and economics. The IEP has been recognized for its preeminent work internationally.
Steve has just written a book Peace in an Age of Chaos – The Best Solution for a Sustainable Future. He joined me as a guest on my podcast Be Convinced! Sharing Lifechanging Stories of Hope, Ep. #29, to talk about the work he has done all over the world promoting the study of peace, how peaceful societies can be developed, and his new book.
Peace is a subject that can and should be studied. Many people erroneously believe that peace is the absence of war, but that is not accurate. Steve stresses that peace is a strong positive force and that there are systems that can be put in place to develop and foster the elements that create and sustain peace. Steve emphasized that “peace is the single most important factor in enabling people to reach their full potential.”
For teaching our children, I suggest to begin with introducing books about different peoples and cultures. Helping our children to become more inclusive and understanding of others would be a big step forward. At the website below, coloursofus.com, there is a listing of 33 multicultural children’s books about peace. I also came across a website that has many fun activities for children – globetrottinkids.com.
To learn more about the subject of peace and how it can be taught, please visit:
https://coloursofus.com/21-multicultural-childrens-books-about-peace/
https://www.globetrottinkids.com/teach-peace-books-activities-for-kids/
You can also listen to Ep. #29 on my podcast at www.sorayadiasecoffelt.com.
July 26, 2021
How are your children known?
How do we know the true nature of a person? Typically, it is by the person’s words and actions. The same is true for children. Proverbs 20:11 shows us that a child reveals himself to us by his acts. Your children’s behaviors will manifest to you their true character. Are you observing them closely?
Another version of this verse in Proverbs is The Passion Translation: “All children show what they’re really like by how they act. You can discern their character, whether they are pure or perverse.” When children are young is the critical time to mold their character. If you catch a child telling a lie, you should address that behavior right away. Many people do not, but instead believe that the child who tells a lie is being cute or funny. If you catch a child taking something that does not belong to him, you should address that right away as well. To allow a child to take something that is not his and keep it, is signaling to the child that it is acceptable to take what is not his. Another objectionable behavior is hitting and bullying another child. Aggressive physical behavior can start from a young age and should never be tolerated.
There are many other instances of behavior that parents and other adults in the lives of children should not ignore or condone. It starts from young too. Being diligent in observing our children’s behavior and taking quick corrective action is vital to our children’s well-being.
At the website calvarychapeljonesboro.org, there is the following commentary on this verse that I would like to share:
A child needs is to be trained that God's Word is what determines what is pure and right. Then the child needs to be trained in how to walk in this world in a way that pleases and honors the Lord. Oh, what a blessing such a child is to the world around him when he or she is trained in this manner. Oh, what blessings will surround and flow forth from such a child.
To read the entire commentary please visit:
July 19, 2021
Character Building Books for Children!
I have been recommending books for children to read this summer and another two that would be motivating for your children are by Lisa Wiehebrink. Lisa established the nonprofit foundation Tails That Teach to promote character building in children, including taking good care of their pets, and literacy. Her focus is children ages 5 -8 years old.
Her books Love Me Gently – A Kid’s Guide for Man’s Best Friend and Gray Whiskers – A Kid’s Guide for Loved Ones Growing Older are about a boy and his rescue dog’s journeys toward patience, compassion, kindness, and empathy. Her book Love Me Gently has won awards, including the 2020 Purple Dragonfly Award and from PETA.
Lisa partners with elementary schools and animal organizations all over the US to teach humane education, using her books as teaching tools. She is also the founder of National Rescue Dog Day, celebrated on May 28 annually, which was established primarily to bring attention to all the dogs that are available in shelters for adoption.
On the website, Lisa explains why she has dedicated her work to this cause:
When children are taught to be kind to animals, the ripple effects are boundless and they are less likely to abuse a pet or bully a classmate. Teaching kids to properly care for pets helps them grow up to be compassionate adults and responsible pet owners.
Lisa was an inspiring guest on my podcast Be Convinced! Sharing Lifechanging Stories of Hope. The podcast, episode #28, is available at sorayadiasecoffelt.com. She shares how it all began when she observed a small child at the park playing roughly with a dog; why she wrote the books; and how she is dedicated to promoting character building and humane education. You will certainly enjoy listening to her share her story of hope!
For more information and to purchase her books, please visit www.tailsthatteach.org.
July 12, 2021
Where are your children’s roots drawing nourishment from?
Where our children draw their spiritual nourishment from is very important. The Bible often uses the tree analogy to describe man. Colossians 2:7 states that we are to “let our roots grow down in him and draw our nourishment from him.” (TLB).
Just like huge redwood trees, our children are grand and awesome, with their potentials being limitless. They are extremely special to God and to us. Their roots are their firm foundations from which they derive all the nourishment that they need to grow and flourish.
Ask yourselves, are my children’s roots getting the spiritual nourishment that they need? Where are my children drawing or deriving their spiritual nourishment from? Each parent should be readily able to answer these questions.
Children will derive spiritual nourishment from having the Bible come alive to them and knowing God personally. Make sure that they attend church regularly and participate in the children’s ministry at your church. Many people make the mistake in believing that the children’s ministry is just a babysitting service while parents attend the adult church. As a former children’s lay minister, I can assure you that it is not! Your children will learn the Word of God at their levels.
Be sure to supplement what they learn at church with material at home. Once a week church attendance is just not enough in this very noisy world that is trying to steal their attention. Some of the things you can consider are the following: having a short, daily memory verse from the Bible; talking with them about what they learned in church; praying with them daily; having books about biblical heroes and Bible topics easily accessible for them to read; and having them watch Christian movies/videos and discussing with them to get their thoughts and feedback.
Also, be mindful of who are your children’s friends. Are they also Christians? Please read my blog post titled Helping Our Children Choose Their Friends, which will give you the Christian’s perspective on the type of friends for your children based on 1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.” (NIV).
July 5, 2021
The Importance of the Special Grandparent-Grandchild Connection
I believe very strongly that grandparents play a uniquely vital role in the lives of their grandchildren and the connection is both spiritual and physical. Proverbs 17:6 actually describes grandchildren as being the crown of the elderly.
What does it mean that grandchildren are a “crown”? A crown is worn proudly on the head as a beautiful ornamental representation of honor, wisdom, joy, respect, and hope. God gave us the ability to have children because they are extremely important His eyes: Psalm 127:3 states that “children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (NIV) Then, our children have their own children who become our precious grandchildren.
As we age, we learn more about wisdom, grace, patience, true love and true joy. In our older years, we are ready to pass down what we have learned to our grandchildren. Grandparents can only do so by spending time with their grandchildren. Actual interactions, whether in person or virtually, will help to build those deep, special connections. Actively search for activities to do with them and include some quiet time as well just holding them in your arms.
Remember that the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is different than the relationship between parents and children. Grandparents must respect the requests and admonitions of their own children in raising their grandchildren, but still be there to impart wisdom and love at all stages.
To read more about Proverbs 17:6, please visit:
http://chrisbrauns.com/2013/07/proverbs-17-verse-6-the-beauty-of-grandchildren/
June 28, 2021
Celebrate with Your Children the Freedoms We Have July 4th
This coming weekend is the 4th of July holiday weekend and there will be lots of fun, family activities for you and your children to participate in outside as the weather has warmed and many areas have lifted the CV 19 regulations. This is also a wonderful opportunity to participate in some fun learning activities that teach your children about why we celebrate this particular day, because it is one of the most important days in our nation’s history.
As a Christian, I firmly believe that a nation that is founded on God’s Word and for whom God is Lord, is indeed blessed. Psalm 133:12. I wrote a blog post many years ago titled Teaching Your Children the Importance of What Happened on July 4th. It is filled with basic historical facts showing how the founding fathers’ belief in God was critical to our new nation. Please take some time and read and discuss it with your children.
On July 4, 1776, our Congress voted to adopt the Declaration of Independence that had been written by God-fearing men and actually mentions God five times. The United States of America declared itself free from the religious and financial tyranny of Great Britain. This was a brave move as Great Britain was a dominant world power at the time. Years later, the U.S. Constitution was written and adopted, articulating many basic freedoms that we have and must always be thankful for, including the freedom of religious belief.
There are many resources filled with activities for children about July 4th. I list a few links below. Please encourage your children to learn more. Moreover, please do not overlook this excellent opportunity to develop in your children a love for their country and God.
Please visit the following links for activities:
https://www.childrens-ministry-deals.com/pages/4th-of-july-sunday-school-lesson
https://childrensministry.com/7-independence-day-activities/
https://ministry-to-children.com/bible/independence-day-4th-of-july/
