Tez Brooks's Blog: TezBrooks.com, page 11
July 21, 2020
Dependence
“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Romans 12:4-5
Several years ago, I built a pond in our backyard and stocked it with small goldfish. They grew large and healthy within a few months.
Caring for these orange, white, and black spotted fish relaxed me—cleaning the filter regularly, watching the chemical balance and keeping the algae at bay. These beautiful creatures, whether they realized it or not, were completely dependent on me in order to thrive. Simply a few days without my checking on them and something could go haywire, placing them all in harm’s way.
We humans can be clueless when it comes to understanding how dependent we are on each other. Like my goldfish, we swim through life unaware of the help we need (from others and God) just to get through the day. God created us for community, to be dependent upon others and our Provider, to care for us and help us thrive.
Whether it’s family, neighbors, our church, or a small group, surrounding ourselves with people who can speak into our lives is vital to our well-being.
Independence is a real struggle for me. I long to be like a goldfish—trusting in others so I’m not such a loner. I cannot survive without community.
Related Posts:PeacemakerHow Do I Raise an Independent Dependent?Abandonment IssuesWill Your Kids Just Survive, or Thrive?What I'm Working On Currently
July 3, 2020
How Do I Raise an Independent Dependent?
Tomorrow we celebrate Independence Day. Our freedom from England.
Several years ago I recall helping my young daughter celebrate freedom by allowing her to walk home half a mile from the grocery store alone…for the first time.
She was 13.
Was I a little behind with that? Is 13 years-old too long to be just then be allowing her to walk around alone in a city that has a high crime rate?
I actually walked with her the first time. I showed her all the places she should run along the path, to escape a kidnapper. I showed her which houses might be the safest just by looking at the outside of the home. (I know, you can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can tell a lot about someone by the outside of their house).
I advised her how to defend herself. And not to stick around long enough to use a defense because the best thing is to run away before an attacker can get close.
Then I let her walk home alone, without me. With her phone. She did fine. No one drugged her up and smuggled her to Cambodia to be a sex slave.
So what do you think? Am I too protective? Should I be more of a free-range parent? Am I making her paranoid? Will she go off to college not knowing how to handle her new-found freedom? My niece believes in having free-range kids and her kids are fine. Maybe I can learn something from her.
I was a free-range kid too…but it didn’t go too well for me. Maybe that’s why I’m unnecessarily cautious.
I have 4 kids….not one of them came with a manual. Does anyone have an extra manual they can send me?
Happy Fourth of July! Now I gotta go check on the kids.
Related Posts:PeacemakerMOVIE REVIEW: "I Can Only Imagine"The Man Who Led Me to Christ Died This MorningMy Loving BrothersFree Book!
June 21, 2020
Peacemaker
“For the sake of my family and friends, I will say, “Peace be within you.” Psalm 122:8 (NIV)
When my infant daughter got cranky, we would put her in a highchair and roll it over to our 60-gallon fish tank. Sitting two feet from the glass, Jade would immediately stop fussing and lose herself in the visual wonder of the aquarium. The gentle bubbling of the filter and graceful movements of Scarlett and Rhett, our parrot fish, soothed her fussiness and quieted her manner. Peaceful and content, she would sit there for long periods enjoying the view.
Scarlett and Rhett had no clue they were offering such a valuable gift to Jade, or to us for that matter. Oh, but the peace they brought to our family. What a treasured contribution that transformed Jade’s mood. She became a tranquil little girl with a gentle spirit, easy to raise.
We often think that being a peacemaker means helping others work through disagreements. It’s more than that. Peacemaking includes “making peace” in the midst of noise or chaos. It means being a calming influence when tension or irritation seem to rule.
Jesus had that effect on others as he walked this Earth and he still does. In John 14:27 (NIV), Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
As a follower of Christ, I too want to be known as a peacemaker—someone whose influence rubs off on others, helping them find harmony.
If we can reflect the serenity of Christ unto others, think of what a light we could be in this world.
Related Posts:United FrontMy Loving BrothersWhat I'm Working On CurrentlyNot Evelyn ChoFree Book!
June 11, 2020
Blended Step-Dads
Blending two families doesn’t happen without a few bumps along the way. It’s not unusual for the stepdad role to include some heartache and hardship. But there are rewards to those who persevere in relationship building. I’ve witnessed it in many families.
If you’re a stepdad, thank you for the important role you play. Your stepchildren might not recognize the value you add to their lives yet, but time is on your side. And for those days that you need a little extra help, remember God’s promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”
If you’re married to a stepdad and want to understand him better, check out Surviving Father’s Day Dread or one of our other posts about dads.
Related Posts:Surviving Father's Day DreadOne Single Dad's Redemptive JourneyValentine's Day and Your DaughterHe Doesn't Want Me in His LifeAdvice from a Single Dad
May 21, 2020
United Front
“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.” 1 Corinthians 1:10 (NIV)
I slapped my legs in horror as I looked down and saw what was stinging me. Hundreds of fire ants, undetected, had covered my leg as I’d napped in the Florida sun. Now, in one accord they triggered one another to begin the attack.
Liquid fire ran up my leg as I ran to the swimming pool and jumped in. Within seconds they ceased their attack, floating away. But the pain would last the rest of the day as tiny bubbles of poison formed where each ant buried its unflinching little jaws into me.
How I marveled at their organization. They were so in-tune to know the exact moment to come against the enemy. Like soldiers, fire ants are known for their undivided front in order to make an impact on intruders much larger than they.
As a follower of Christ, I too am a soldier. I could learn a lot from these little creatures. Children of God are constantly faced with problems much bigger than us. Yet so often we try to go it alone—to face the giants without the help of our comrades.
What trials might we overcome faster and more efficiently if we would only call on our brothers and sisters to pray with us, to stand with us in unity? Ephesians 4 reminds us how desperately in need of one another we should be. May we never say “I don’t need others in my life.” Instead, I want to reach out daily to my fellow believers and together, lean on Jesus.
Related Posts:Taking a LickingCan I vent for a minute?GlitchAre Christians Offering the Wrong Support?My Loving Brothers
May 8, 2020
May 6, 2020
Testimonial
My name is Joan and I came into writing with a formidable learning curve ahead of me. Then I met award-winning author Tez Brooks and his encouragement told me I could learn a lot from this gentleman.
Having Tez mentor me in writing is one of the best steps I have taken. Not only did my writing improve, but so did my self-confidence and knowledge of the industry.
Tez’s style is both gentle and forthright. He shared stories of his experiences, which gave context to the corrections he encouraged me to consider. I’m a better writer because of his coaching and I’m now moving forward in publishing a book.
A few times a year, when I confront an area I need to develop, I ask Tez if he has time to work with me again. If you are looking for a writing coach contact Tez today.
~Joan Borton, Florida
Related Posts:Helping Your Kids Get a Grip On Grief (Part 3 of 3)We're MovingEndorsementPRESS RELEASEFinding My Genre
April 30, 2020
What I’m Working On Currently
I’m very excited to announce the completion of God Watchers: 52 Reflections for Discovering Him Everywhere. My agent is currently shopping the manuscript around to top publishing houses.
I also have two other books on the back burner:
Mending the Nets: How to Care for Your Missionary
Pre-Launching: How to Prepare Your Teen for Adulting in Today’s World
What I’ve Done:
Literary Business/Training
Writer & Editor – Jesus Film Project (2017-current)
Director of Donor Communications – Jesus Film Project (2 years)
Screenwriter/Film Producer – Broken Phonebooth Productions (2 years)
Editor in Chief Today Magazine – Cru Australia (2 years)
The Christian Writer’s Guild, Apprentice Level (2 years).
Authored
The Single Dad Detour: Directions for Fathering After Divorce (Kregel 2015) Nonfiction, parenting.Imagine Australia (Panorama Publishing 2009) Nonfiction, inspirational, photographic.Somewhere in the Journey (self-published 2003) Nonfiction, devotional.
Compilations
Christmas Moments Yvonne Lehman (Grace Publishing 2017) Short and Sweet, Too Susan King (Grace Publishing, 2017) All God’s Creatures: Devotions for Animal Lovers (Guideposts 2019)All God’s Creatures 2020 (Guideposts 2020)All God’s Creatures 2021 (Guideposts 2021) AVAIL NOV 2020
Articles (most recent)
GuidepostsThe Upper RoomCru.orgCBN.comFocus on the FamilyClubhouseClubhouse Jr.
Awards
Jerry Jenkins Christian Writers Guild – First Place Creative Non-Fiction (2012) Florida Christian Writer’s Conference – First Place Article (2016)
Word Weavers Intl. – First Place Children’s Picture book (2015)
Royal Palm Literary Awards – Best Inspirational Book (2016)
CENFLO – Best Comedy Short Film (2015)
Flagler Film Festival – Best Short Film (2016)
Nominee for Best Short Film at Prince of Prestige Academy (2017)
Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference, Foundations Award – 2nd Place Flash Fiction (2017)
Top 30 Single Dad Blogs, Feedspot (2017)Honoarble Mention, Writer’s Digest Writing Competition (2018)
Top 30 Parenting Blogs, Feedspot (2019)
Memberships and Misc.
Florida Writer’s AssociationChristian Writer’s AssociationWord Weavers Intl. (president of two chapters)Served as faculty at several writer’s conferencesJudge for the 2017 & 2019 Royal Palm Literary Awards
Related Posts:Finding My GenreAn Open Letter to Dads on Fathers DayGuest Blog GuidelinesAbandonment IssuesDo You Feel Lost as a Single Parent?
April 19, 2020
The Redemptive Story Behind the Name “Tez”
Over the years, people have asked me what “Tez” means. My response can be anywhere from “It’s a nickname” to a more in-depth explanation if I’m feeling especially transparent and they have the time.
I was born Terry Dean Brooks—not Terence, just Terry. After four male children, Mom and Dad wanted a girl so badly they decided to call the next child Terry, regardless the gender. I’m fairly certain one should never tell this to their young boy, but Mom didn’t mean any harm. Had she known how it would affect me, she would never had said it. Nevertheless, it was the beginning of some interesting issues I had to deal with.
Unathletic and bit husky, I was drawn to creativity and the arts and was a bit of a momma’s boy. During my elementary years, I was often bullied and called cruel terms like “Terry the fairy.” I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I knew it was feminine and, since I was a boy, it had to be bad.
I often found refuge on the weekends when I attended church with my guy friends who accepted me and made me feel safe. Eventually, even church was not safe. A man there, noticed my sensitive demeanor and took advantage of my need for male attention. This pedophile started grooming me at age seven (as well as several of my church friends) with kindness, gentle touches, gifts and finally, boundary testing. He eventually molested me as a young teen. None of us kids told each other—we were too ashamed. I blamed myself and buried the memory deep into my subconscious, until all I recalled was a vague memory of something terrible I must have caused.
Puberty found me confused and wondering why my normal admiration of men had suddenly turned sexual. A lot of wires get crossed in a young boy’s brain when he’s been molested and then hormones flood his body. I struggled for decades, wondering why I was attracted to both women and men—silently walking out my salvation feeling guilty and as if God regretted I was his child.
Thankfully, God kept a short-leash on me and I never strayed far from his side. I married and had children. As missionaries, my family and I were assigned to Australia for a few years. That was where God did something miraculous for my personal healing.
A few months into our assignment, I re-connected online with one of my childhood friends from church. He opened up about his abuse by the same man. I was both numb and enraged.
The conversation turned dark as we shared details and how it affected our lives growing up. As I hung up, a light turned on in my head. I suddenly realized it wasn’t my fault. I shared what I’d discovered with my wife, that I hadn’t somehow tempted this guy to do it—he forced me.
As we talked, my wife said self-blame was typical for victims who can’t deal with the loss of control over the situation. After reasoning together for a while, we prayed, my head buried in her shoulder, weeping, healing.
We decided I should get some Christian counseling so I could work through these memories and gain a healthier understanding of how it affected my relationship with men, women, my parents, my brothers, and God. The months of counsel and homework were hard but good for my healing and maturity. I understood how Christ’s work on the cross had removed the disgrace I’d carried for decades. He took my shame upon himself, exchanging it by imputing his own honor and dignity into me.
During one of my prayer times with the Lord, I distinctly recall a sense that God was giving me a new identity, and with that, a new name. Of course, I assumed that meant some biblical name that meant something profound—like with Abram (Abraham) or Saul (Paul). And I assumed it would be private, between me and God,
Nope.
Australians love to assign nicknames. One playful method is to take a name ending in “ry” and change it to “ez.” Mary becomes Mez and Jerry is changed to Jez.
They called me Tez.
It made me smile. It wasn’t the nickname itself. Though the name didn’t have all the baggage of my birth name. There was more—something restorative about how they pronounced this new label.
When I entered a room, their deep, masculine bravados would call it out as if to announce to the world that their long-lost favorite television personality had walked on stage.
“Tez!” they would shout. Sometimes in unison, sometimes consecutively, as I passed by each of their offices. I felt loved. I felt treasured.
Meanwhile, more of my writing was being published. Magazine editors asked if I would use a pen name, since Terry Brooks was a famous fantasy fiction author. It wasn’t prudent for me to use the same name, so I agreed to the pseudonym “Tez Brooks.”
Before long, my wife started calling me Tez, and it stuck. I felt too old for a name change, but by the time we returned to the United States, it’s who I was. Only then did it occur to me God had indeed given me a gift in this new title. He’d transformed my heart, healing me from deep wounds. I arrived home a new man.
Very few people now know my given name. Except for my medical records, most everything (my mail, my bank, even my signature) changed to Tez. The old name, carrying memories of hurt and shame, has passed away.
“I don’t mean to say I am perfect, I haven’t learned all I should even yet, but I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be” (Philippians 3:12, TLB).
Some of my relatives can’t find it in themselves to call me Tez. That’s okay, old habits are hard to break, so I give them grace. Although they know about my past, perhaps they don’t understand the liberating nature of this name change. I’m grateful to those who do refer to me as Tez after calling me Terry for decades. Because each time they say Tez, it reminds me of God’s grace. It builds me up, making those people who’ve adopted this new label part of my redemption.
I understand how Simon might have felt when Jesus said, “I’m going to tell you who you really are. You are Peter, a rock.” (Matthew 16:18, MSG). More than a simple nickname—it’s my new identity in Christ.
April 4, 2020
Taking a Licking
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
While walking through a wildlife rescue camp where I volunteered, the owner introduced me to Sheba, a Florida cougar who’d been there for years, unable to hunt on her own because of injuries.
As she basked in the sunlight of her cage, her eyes closed in lazy delight. She looked so tame.
“Would you like to touch her?” the owner said.
“Really?” I smiled, astonished.
“If you keep your hand opened flat against the bars, she’ll lick you. Just don’t let her do it too long.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Sheba’s tongue is like sandpaper. After three to four licks, she’ll draw blood. Once she tastes that—.
“She’s a wild animal” I smiled. “I get it.”
I stretched forth my hand. Sure enough, after the third lick my hand had what looked like road rash. I decided that was the closest I wanted to get to a panther. It took several days for my hand to heal.
How often do we try to get as near as we can to the enemy without succumbing to his bite? Rather than running from temptation, we walk as close to the bars as we can, testing our willpower and God’s protection. When will we learn to stop playing with fire? Thankfully, he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13).
