Tony Fahkry's Blog - Posts Tagged "balance"
The Balance of Male and Female Energy
“When we have developed a trust in both our inner man and woman and they can nourish, support, communicate and cooperate with each other, a love begins to flow between them.” - Swami Dhyan Giten
A Whole Mind Approach
In a recent discussion with a health professional, I was curious why a growing number of people seem to rationalise their health concerns via logic alone. Rather than examining the mental and emotional issues to their failing health, we both agreed that our teaching system educates us from an early age to rationalise the world through reason. Surely solving our problems at the level of the mind is the best approach – or is it?
In Daniel Pink’s book A Whole New Mind, the author argues that the future belongs to the artists and creatives among us, rather than the traditional left brain professionals like accountants, lawyers and computer programmers. He postulates that with the advent of the Information Age, left brain thinkers (logic) dominated the landscape for much of this period, as evident with the development of the internet.
What does this mean in the larger context? Pink suggests that left brain orientated jobs have moved off-shore in recent times to countries where labour rates are less expensive. Jobs that previously required analytical processing are now sourced to countries like India and China for far less than major countries. Creative jobs on the other hand have seen a rise in demand since they cannot be automated due to the specialisation of the creative process.
I find this discussion fascinating on a number of levels. Firstly, our society has been largely male dominated for a number of centuries. The heads of major countries continue to be led by men, although this is now beginning to change. We typically value the masculine energy, as evident by a recent documentary on television in view of the World Cup. It was revealed that in poorer areas of Brazil, parents have two wishes in life: that they be blessed with a boy as a child and that he can kick a soccer ball.
Having been raised in a Catholic Middle Eastern family, I still recall the voices of my parents and relatives filled with optimism when someone within the community gave birth to a baby boy. Even as a young male, the same relatives reinforced the image of a powerful archetypal male aligned with logic and reason.
The Balance of Energy
You might be interested to learn that in Eastern philosophy the body is considered to be balanced energetically in two halves, known as polarities – male (right side) and female (left side). This is also expressed as the Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy. The notable Swiss psychotherapist Carl Jung wrote about the anima and the animus which are the two unconscious archetypes that each gender possess.
What are the distinct qualities of these respective energies? Well, the male energy is: protective, logical, analytical, and grounded in reason, action orientated and sets boundaries. This energy is depicted as air and fire elements. The female energy in contrast is: nurturing, listening, emotional, intuitive, perceptive, calm, empathetic and compassionate. This energy is depicted as earth and water elements. Note, I am not describing the differences between men and women. These qualities relate to the energetic relationship inherent in both sexes.
We all have male and female qualities, resulting in a harmonious union of balance. When we favour one energy over the other, we are at the mercy of Mother Nature. Nature therefore thrives on a sense of balance and equilibrium.
As stated earlier, our society values left brain thinking from an early age. Children are taught in school to examine and deduce the world through logic and reason. In contrast, the Steiner education model urges children to harness right brain thinking with a focus toward creative pursuits. Whilst criticism has been labelled at this method of teaching, Steiner children nonetheless mature with highly advanced emotional intelligence.
It was Daniel Siegel author of Emotional Intelligence who coined the term EQ(emotional intelligence) in the early nineties. His studies into EQ have shown that it is not one’s IQ which is the measure of success in life, rather their EQ. As an example, men are taught to disregard their feelings or alternatively ‘stuff them down’ since feelings are something women have. Therefore men have inadvertently associated strength and power with reason and logic much to the detriment of EQ.
“Today, many of us are trying to understand just what male and female energies are, since we are calling old rigid stereotypes into questions. There is a risk of replacing such stereotypes with even more politically correct rigid stereotypes...” - Shepherd Hoodwin
Integration over Separation
Similarly gender roles have been obscured in recent times, as evident through various movements which sought to liberate the sexes from periods of repression. These days, women find themselves competing with men for senior roles within the workforce, at a cost to their family life. Balancing career and family has become a challenge for working women.
One would have thought that the feminist movement liberated women from the need to play on the same level as men. Rather, women have felt compelled to compete with men by playing by their rules in order to get ahead in the corporate world. Albeit this is one minor example, yet it underscores the disconnect apparent when there is a separation of male and female energies.
In a similar context, men are encouraged to deny their intuition for fear that they’ll connect with their emotional self. Intuition and feelings are deemed irrational to men, since it is devoid of scientific evidence. Women on the other hand understand the importance of intuition. They know where intuition resides within their body and trust it well. It is no wonder that women make better leaders, since they have sought to develop both male and female qualities in their leadership roles.
My contention in this article is to highlight that the future lies in integration rather than separation i.e. uniting our male and female energies. The emphasis will be towards the union of our male and female energies in a holistic sense, much like the Eastern principle espouses.
Bruce Lipton PhD, author of Spontaneous Evolution notes that humanity is advancing forward into a new paradigm known as Holism; the union of spirit and matter. “The new science of holism emphasises that, in order for us to transcend the parts and see the whole, we must acquire an understanding of Nature and the human experience.” I have purposely bolded the last sentence. If we are to seek happiness and fulfillment in our lives, we must be willing to work in harmony with nature or run the risk of being at her mercy.
Uniting with our male and female energies will allow us to seek balance in order to optimise our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. Problems become apparent when we swing toward one direction over the other. When we favour our male energy, the female side is minimised causing a disruption in our life-force and resulting in physical and emotional ailments.
The key is to unite both male and female energies by regarding them as the wholeness of your being. In order to thrive mentally, emotionally and physically you will need to harness each energy force at respective times throughout your life.
Men and women can live together afterall – even under the one roof!
A Whole Mind Approach
In a recent discussion with a health professional, I was curious why a growing number of people seem to rationalise their health concerns via logic alone. Rather than examining the mental and emotional issues to their failing health, we both agreed that our teaching system educates us from an early age to rationalise the world through reason. Surely solving our problems at the level of the mind is the best approach – or is it?
In Daniel Pink’s book A Whole New Mind, the author argues that the future belongs to the artists and creatives among us, rather than the traditional left brain professionals like accountants, lawyers and computer programmers. He postulates that with the advent of the Information Age, left brain thinkers (logic) dominated the landscape for much of this period, as evident with the development of the internet.
What does this mean in the larger context? Pink suggests that left brain orientated jobs have moved off-shore in recent times to countries where labour rates are less expensive. Jobs that previously required analytical processing are now sourced to countries like India and China for far less than major countries. Creative jobs on the other hand have seen a rise in demand since they cannot be automated due to the specialisation of the creative process.
I find this discussion fascinating on a number of levels. Firstly, our society has been largely male dominated for a number of centuries. The heads of major countries continue to be led by men, although this is now beginning to change. We typically value the masculine energy, as evident by a recent documentary on television in view of the World Cup. It was revealed that in poorer areas of Brazil, parents have two wishes in life: that they be blessed with a boy as a child and that he can kick a soccer ball.
Having been raised in a Catholic Middle Eastern family, I still recall the voices of my parents and relatives filled with optimism when someone within the community gave birth to a baby boy. Even as a young male, the same relatives reinforced the image of a powerful archetypal male aligned with logic and reason.
The Balance of Energy
You might be interested to learn that in Eastern philosophy the body is considered to be balanced energetically in two halves, known as polarities – male (right side) and female (left side). This is also expressed as the Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy. The notable Swiss psychotherapist Carl Jung wrote about the anima and the animus which are the two unconscious archetypes that each gender possess.
What are the distinct qualities of these respective energies? Well, the male energy is: protective, logical, analytical, and grounded in reason, action orientated and sets boundaries. This energy is depicted as air and fire elements. The female energy in contrast is: nurturing, listening, emotional, intuitive, perceptive, calm, empathetic and compassionate. This energy is depicted as earth and water elements. Note, I am not describing the differences between men and women. These qualities relate to the energetic relationship inherent in both sexes.
We all have male and female qualities, resulting in a harmonious union of balance. When we favour one energy over the other, we are at the mercy of Mother Nature. Nature therefore thrives on a sense of balance and equilibrium.
As stated earlier, our society values left brain thinking from an early age. Children are taught in school to examine and deduce the world through logic and reason. In contrast, the Steiner education model urges children to harness right brain thinking with a focus toward creative pursuits. Whilst criticism has been labelled at this method of teaching, Steiner children nonetheless mature with highly advanced emotional intelligence.
It was Daniel Siegel author of Emotional Intelligence who coined the term EQ(emotional intelligence) in the early nineties. His studies into EQ have shown that it is not one’s IQ which is the measure of success in life, rather their EQ. As an example, men are taught to disregard their feelings or alternatively ‘stuff them down’ since feelings are something women have. Therefore men have inadvertently associated strength and power with reason and logic much to the detriment of EQ.
“Today, many of us are trying to understand just what male and female energies are, since we are calling old rigid stereotypes into questions. There is a risk of replacing such stereotypes with even more politically correct rigid stereotypes...” - Shepherd Hoodwin
Integration over Separation
Similarly gender roles have been obscured in recent times, as evident through various movements which sought to liberate the sexes from periods of repression. These days, women find themselves competing with men for senior roles within the workforce, at a cost to their family life. Balancing career and family has become a challenge for working women.
One would have thought that the feminist movement liberated women from the need to play on the same level as men. Rather, women have felt compelled to compete with men by playing by their rules in order to get ahead in the corporate world. Albeit this is one minor example, yet it underscores the disconnect apparent when there is a separation of male and female energies.
In a similar context, men are encouraged to deny their intuition for fear that they’ll connect with their emotional self. Intuition and feelings are deemed irrational to men, since it is devoid of scientific evidence. Women on the other hand understand the importance of intuition. They know where intuition resides within their body and trust it well. It is no wonder that women make better leaders, since they have sought to develop both male and female qualities in their leadership roles.
My contention in this article is to highlight that the future lies in integration rather than separation i.e. uniting our male and female energies. The emphasis will be towards the union of our male and female energies in a holistic sense, much like the Eastern principle espouses.
Bruce Lipton PhD, author of Spontaneous Evolution notes that humanity is advancing forward into a new paradigm known as Holism; the union of spirit and matter. “The new science of holism emphasises that, in order for us to transcend the parts and see the whole, we must acquire an understanding of Nature and the human experience.” I have purposely bolded the last sentence. If we are to seek happiness and fulfillment in our lives, we must be willing to work in harmony with nature or run the risk of being at her mercy.
Uniting with our male and female energies will allow us to seek balance in order to optimise our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. Problems become apparent when we swing toward one direction over the other. When we favour our male energy, the female side is minimised causing a disruption in our life-force and resulting in physical and emotional ailments.
The key is to unite both male and female energies by regarding them as the wholeness of your being. In order to thrive mentally, emotionally and physically you will need to harness each energy force at respective times throughout your life.
Men and women can live together afterall – even under the one roof!
How to Build Powerful Relationships
“Never idealise others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” - Leo F. Buscaglia
Reflections of Ourselves
Relationships are the most significant and nourishing experiences of our lives if approached with an open mind and a compassionate heart.
Take a moment to reflect on an existing relationship which may be causing you distress. Although you share a common bond, there may possibly be a differing of opinions which warrants disagreement at times.
What particular aspect of that person gives rise to the conflict? Is it a behaviour, a certain quality or a general character flaw you find difficult to balance out? Don’t over-analyse the trait – simply become aware of it in your mind. Merely perceiving the other person’s indifference is sufficient to enhance your awareness of the issue.
Why do you have an aversion to that particular quality about them?
Let us consider the characteristic of arrogance as an example to work through in this instance. As you see it, the other person exudes an arrogance which you find less appealing at times. You feel the relationship would be more grounded in a formidable way if it weren't for their conceited ways.
In previous articles, I stated that the universe maintains an intricate order. There are no accidents – nothing happens by chance; even a blade of grass is accounted for within the cosmos.
If we consider this idea, could it be conceivable that you co-created the experience of this person into your life in order to learn and grow? I affirm that it takes two to tango – furthermore, problems are always encountered at the level of the perceiver.
This person may be disguised in the form of a valuable experience directing your personal development. However, we may not be quite ready for the lesson just yet and so the troublesome experience will continue to persist.
You cannot maintain a relationship that is one sided. That is, there can never be an over-supply of enriching moments within a relationship, since there would be little or no inner growth. Relationship challenges expose the cracks in your character in order to integrate them into the wholeness of your being.
As you’ve no doubt realised, those you are connected to bring out the best and worst in you. They uncover your flaws by reflecting a mirror onto them. In doing so, you are called to examine and heal that aspect of yourself, not retreat into apathy.
Therefore, do not bemoan when a relationship has run its course. There is an energetic current which takes place in all living things. Oftentimes people come into your life for a brief duration and leave in a similar manner. You may be left to wonder whether your actions contributed to their departure – rest assured that nature has served its purpose and it is time to move on.
“Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.” - Mike Murdock
Tuning In To Love
When a relationship ends unexpectedly, you may wish to take refuge in a simple mantra: “How would LOVE respond in my situation?”
In an article titled How to Raise Your Consciousness, I outlined the case for raising your consciousness to the level of LOVE in order to attract harmonious relationships.
When I talk about love, I am not referring to the romantic connection which exists between two people. I am describing the energetic frequency that is your authentic state of being. Were it not for love, how would you express your appreciation toward a loved one?
As you align with the frequency of love, you invoke deeper and richer relationships, which are entrusted in a higher energetic force. Everything within the universe is energy, pulsating at a low or high vibrational rate.
To gain clarity on an existing relationship which threatens your emotional wellbeing, contemplate the following points:
1. Invite the power of LOVE with its higher frequency into your life on a regular basis. Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.” In a similar tone, Deepak Chopra asserts that love is stronger than gravity. Therefore, expand your consciousness beyond your perceived awareness in order to support this powerful state of being.
2. Consider what lesson you are invited to learn in the context of your current relationship. Posing the following question, “What lesson does the greater intelligence within me seek from this experience?” becomes an invitation to connect with your infinite wisdom. Rest assured, every lesson will be vested in LOVE. Your conflicts are signposts directing you toward love.
3. Ponder the following question, “What aspect of myself, whether favourable or undesirable is the other person highlighting?” If the other person is an emotional blanket, devoid of connecting with their feelings, consider how you might be mirroring their behaviour?
When others accentuate a negative quality within you, in that very moment you have sought to disown that aspect if you are not at peace with yourself. This becomes the root of your suffering if the pain is left unexamined. Furthermore, it underscores the need to heal the separation within so as to build a stronger foundation for the connection to thrive.
Relationship problems are not inclined to defeat you, rather they are a call to heal a disowned aspect of yourself by bringing the wound to the surface.
Consider it akin to a splinter of wood lodged in your finger. By removing the splinter, not only do you heal the physical wound, you simultaneously reveal a layer of oneself previously concealed by your emotional pain.
Reflections of Ourselves
Relationships are the most significant and nourishing experiences of our lives if approached with an open mind and a compassionate heart.
Take a moment to reflect on an existing relationship which may be causing you distress. Although you share a common bond, there may possibly be a differing of opinions which warrants disagreement at times.
What particular aspect of that person gives rise to the conflict? Is it a behaviour, a certain quality or a general character flaw you find difficult to balance out? Don’t over-analyse the trait – simply become aware of it in your mind. Merely perceiving the other person’s indifference is sufficient to enhance your awareness of the issue.
Why do you have an aversion to that particular quality about them?
Let us consider the characteristic of arrogance as an example to work through in this instance. As you see it, the other person exudes an arrogance which you find less appealing at times. You feel the relationship would be more grounded in a formidable way if it weren't for their conceited ways.
In previous articles, I stated that the universe maintains an intricate order. There are no accidents – nothing happens by chance; even a blade of grass is accounted for within the cosmos.
If we consider this idea, could it be conceivable that you co-created the experience of this person into your life in order to learn and grow? I affirm that it takes two to tango – furthermore, problems are always encountered at the level of the perceiver.
This person may be disguised in the form of a valuable experience directing your personal development. However, we may not be quite ready for the lesson just yet and so the troublesome experience will continue to persist.
You cannot maintain a relationship that is one sided. That is, there can never be an over-supply of enriching moments within a relationship, since there would be little or no inner growth. Relationship challenges expose the cracks in your character in order to integrate them into the wholeness of your being.
As you’ve no doubt realised, those you are connected to bring out the best and worst in you. They uncover your flaws by reflecting a mirror onto them. In doing so, you are called to examine and heal that aspect of yourself, not retreat into apathy.
Therefore, do not bemoan when a relationship has run its course. There is an energetic current which takes place in all living things. Oftentimes people come into your life for a brief duration and leave in a similar manner. You may be left to wonder whether your actions contributed to their departure – rest assured that nature has served its purpose and it is time to move on.
“Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.” - Mike Murdock
Tuning In To Love
When a relationship ends unexpectedly, you may wish to take refuge in a simple mantra: “How would LOVE respond in my situation?”
In an article titled How to Raise Your Consciousness, I outlined the case for raising your consciousness to the level of LOVE in order to attract harmonious relationships.
When I talk about love, I am not referring to the romantic connection which exists between two people. I am describing the energetic frequency that is your authentic state of being. Were it not for love, how would you express your appreciation toward a loved one?
As you align with the frequency of love, you invoke deeper and richer relationships, which are entrusted in a higher energetic force. Everything within the universe is energy, pulsating at a low or high vibrational rate.
To gain clarity on an existing relationship which threatens your emotional wellbeing, contemplate the following points:
1. Invite the power of LOVE with its higher frequency into your life on a regular basis. Albert Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.” In a similar tone, Deepak Chopra asserts that love is stronger than gravity. Therefore, expand your consciousness beyond your perceived awareness in order to support this powerful state of being.
2. Consider what lesson you are invited to learn in the context of your current relationship. Posing the following question, “What lesson does the greater intelligence within me seek from this experience?” becomes an invitation to connect with your infinite wisdom. Rest assured, every lesson will be vested in LOVE. Your conflicts are signposts directing you toward love.
3. Ponder the following question, “What aspect of myself, whether favourable or undesirable is the other person highlighting?” If the other person is an emotional blanket, devoid of connecting with their feelings, consider how you might be mirroring their behaviour?
When others accentuate a negative quality within you, in that very moment you have sought to disown that aspect if you are not at peace with yourself. This becomes the root of your suffering if the pain is left unexamined. Furthermore, it underscores the need to heal the separation within so as to build a stronger foundation for the connection to thrive.
Relationship problems are not inclined to defeat you, rather they are a call to heal a disowned aspect of yourself by bringing the wound to the surface.
Consider it akin to a splinter of wood lodged in your finger. By removing the splinter, not only do you heal the physical wound, you simultaneously reveal a layer of oneself previously concealed by your emotional pain.
