Lance Carbuncle's Blog: Shut up and eat your pudding - Posts Tagged "reader-views"
Award Winning Author, Lance Carbuncle
Big News! My second novel,Grundish and Askew, is the 1st place winner in the humor category of the Reader Views 2009 Literary Awards.
Of course your question is, what does this mean to you? Well, you can now tell people that you are virtually friends with Award Winning Author, Lance Carbuncle. The awe that this will most certainly inspire may be too much for those with weaker constitutions. Be careful with this information as it may cause the following in persons with weakened immune systems: myocardial infarctions, torn sphincters, bloody gums, the vapors, and, an inexplicable sense of hopelessness and shame.
What does it mean for Carbuncle? I do not know, but, I suspect that my award certificate (or whatever it is that they give me), along with a handful of crack rocks, will probably get me a blowjob from a toothless hooker with tape worms and a yeast infection. Carbuncle is definitely moving on up.
All jokes aside, Grundish and Askew is now an award-winning book. That’s pretty cool. And thanks to Reader Views for recognizing good writing when they saw it. I hope they don’t take any offense at me goofing on their award and strip me of it. Hurry up and buy a signed copy of the book before I am stripped of my award like some Miss America winner whose slutty past caught up with her. What are you waiting for? Check out the latest blog entry on Lancecarbuncle.com for information on investing in a signed copy. Do it now, before I punch you in your taint.
Of course your question is, what does this mean to you? Well, you can now tell people that you are virtually friends with Award Winning Author, Lance Carbuncle. The awe that this will most certainly inspire may be too much for those with weaker constitutions. Be careful with this information as it may cause the following in persons with weakened immune systems: myocardial infarctions, torn sphincters, bloody gums, the vapors, and, an inexplicable sense of hopelessness and shame.
What does it mean for Carbuncle? I do not know, but, I suspect that my award certificate (or whatever it is that they give me), along with a handful of crack rocks, will probably get me a blowjob from a toothless hooker with tape worms and a yeast infection. Carbuncle is definitely moving on up.
All jokes aside, Grundish and Askew is now an award-winning book. That’s pretty cool. And thanks to Reader Views for recognizing good writing when they saw it. I hope they don’t take any offense at me goofing on their award and strip me of it. Hurry up and buy a signed copy of the book before I am stripped of my award like some Miss America winner whose slutty past caught up with her. What are you waiting for? Check out the latest blog entry on Lancecarbuncle.com for information on investing in a signed copy. Do it now, before I punch you in your taint.
New Website design- new signed bookdeals
Lancecarbuncle.com has been completely redesigned. Go check it out. Look at pictures of my balls. Visit Uncle Hank. Check out the books page where I have new package deals for signed copies of both of my books.
