Kern Carter's Blog, page 26
September 24, 2022
19.
I’m 19.
They tell me, “Don’t waste these years away, you only get them once.”
Define waste away.
Most would think of too many drinks and throwing up in bathroom sinks as wasting your years. But what other time is there for such things than now, knowing one day the fun will end, and we’ll have to be more than just young and lost?
Some would say spending your Saturday nights searching through nooks — buried in books is wasting away your years. But how could that be if it only makes you better and widens your horizons?
We have to ask ourselves, “What’s the goal in life?”
If you ask me, it’s about using all twine the candle has to offer;
In other words, I’m going to taste all of my freedom.
I’m 19.
And for the time being
I’ll have my dances, romances, and laughs;
It’s not my fault everything’s a little funnier through the lens of a shot glass.
There’s a time in life for everything
Laughing, loving, working, mourning,
But for the first and only time in my life, I feel like I have the luxury of choosing what time is now, and I choose my time.
No matter the heading, I’ll not waste a moment.
It could be money earned or lessons learned
Either way, it’s my time, and with it, I’ll do the best I can
After all, I’m still young and lost, aren’t I?
By Frankie/Shutterstock[image error]19. was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
September 21, 2022
The Next Great Step In Life
Photo by Carsten Vollrath: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-in-white-wedding-dress-standing-on-green-grass-field-13381399/I got the biggest shock of my life a couple of weeks ago when my boyfriend got down on one knee and presented a beautiful engagement ring saying, “Dami will you marry me?”
I have always dreamt of and fantasized about this day for so many years. The day I would transition from being a mere young lady to a grown mature woman playing the role of a wife and, eventually, a mother. We both decided to marry in December this year.
But the road to marriage is not easy. So much is expected of me. It gets to the point that I question myself. Yes, even soon-to-be brides suffer from Imposter Syndrome.
Does not help that I am trying to juggle building a career and my marital duties. Thank goodness for my beloved husband (yes, I have started calling him that). He is highly supportive and always tries to calm me down whenever anyone’s words get to me. Yes, I am a sensitive baby.
Still, I break down in tears whenever I look at my bank account, which gets empty within days. Most of the money I spend these days is gotten from my mother.
I am not earning anything as of yet, and my husband is struggling financially, but he is doing much better than I am at this point since he has a company of his own though he still has some challenges and said company has been in operation for a year now.
I am trying my hardest to be optimistic. Wedding preparations often tire me out due to the number of discussions that are involved. Thankfully, my mother and husband help out. My siblings have thrown in some suggestions for me as far as food vendors and other stuff are concerned. The wedding planner is also doing a good job in putting me at ease, plus my chief bridesmaid, who happens to be my cousin, is also on board to help out so that I do not lose my shit because I am an emotional wreck at times.
The business development class that I am a part of is having me tear my hair out and, at times, cry. Why? Because I am confused. I am about to become a married woman, yet, how do I contribute to the family’s income and take care of the kids?
That is my Imposter’s Syndrome speaking to me right there. I am trying not to panic and scream and cry. I just want to do something meaningful with my life. But what? That is a question I doubt I have truly answered. Unless I answered the question by writing.
[image error]The Next Great Step In Life was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
My Mother Named Me to Protest the Patriarchy
A little girl’s subversive reinterpretation of the gospels
September 19, 2022
Why It Is Good To Niche Down Your Services
Photo by Eduardo Dutra: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-in-front-of-laptop-on-brown-wooden-table-2115217/I joined a virtual assistant group on Facebook about three to four months ago because I wanted to learn more from other virtual assistants like me and also grow my skillset. I noticed a couple of young virtual assistants hyping up the group, so I joined out of curiousity.
The owner of the group hosted a five-day virtual assistant challenge a day after I joined. During the challenge, one newbie asked the million-dollar question that a lot of us were burning to ask, “Is it necessary to niche down your products and services?”
The woman said no. This was way before the Virtual Tribe kicked off its signature virtual assistant training program. I got confused since most people say otherwise. I decided to take it upon myself and investigate this subject matter and was amused by the results I found.
Other virtual assistants gave a contradictory opinion to this woman’s thoughts. According to all of them, it is important to niche down your products and services. Here is why:
1 It is easier to attract clients that you desire to work with
If you market yourself to everyone, you attract no one. It is okay to be great at a lot of things, but a lot of clients will not buy into your product or service. It will tell them that you have an identity crisis of sorts. If you are clear about the type of products and services and the type of clients you desire to work with, however, you will get better results.
2 It prevents burnout and fatigue
Another reason why it is inadvisable to be a jack of all trades and do every single thing is more from the health standpoint. If you keep trying to juggle every single virtual assistant task, you will get burned out and tired easily.
3 It is better to focus on your core strengths
What are you interested in? Is it admin-related work, or is it social media? Choose your area of interest and stick to it. For instance, I have chosen to stick to being a social media virtual assistant as it interests me, plus it is one of my strengths.
4 It makes you stand out
Always ask yourself this question if you are first starting out in any field, be it virtual assistance or otherwise, “What do I want to be known for?” If you choose a niche, people will remember you better for that, and you will stand out from the pack.
5 You will grow faster
The more people know you for a particular niche, the quicker you will grow your online presence and the more clients that will come flocking to you. Say, for example, you are a graphic designer, and you work with health and fitness companies. You would go to their websites if they are already established or you go to sites like Reddit or Facebook where your clients are lingering and pitch yourself there and BOOM…watch the sparks fly!!
Conclusion
There is nothing wrong in juggling different things at once or in following the woman’s opinion. But at the same time, don’t just do something because some successful person gave you that advice.
Rather, go out there and form your own judgment. Do your research. It is okay to ask for advice but not just because something works for someone does not guarantee that it will work out that way for you.
[image error]Why It Is Good To Niche Down Your Services was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
September 17, 2022
How To Spot A Scammer On Websites like Upwork
Photo by Polina Zimmerman: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-using-macbook-pro-on-white-table-3747075/The Virtual Tribe, the virtual assistant group I happen to be a part of, did a group meeting today. We discussed all things virtual assistant related, particularly the freelancing aspect of things.
That prompted me to ask the one question that many virtual assistants out there always ask, “If you are new to a platform like Upwork, how do you figure out which clients are legit and which ones are scammers?”
What prompted that question you might ask?
Okay, a little history lesson today. Sometime last year, I applied for two internships on Internshala. In case you are not aware, Internshala is an Indian company that focuses on providing internships to students with a variety of Indian companies.
Using their platform, I applied to about 2–3 of these companies. You guessed it, no response. The one company that responded gave me a test which was to write an article about something I know nothing about. I did a little research and wrote a little an article and got rejected for it.
Months after, I applied to a variety of clients on Upwork and got no response. There was this lady that was looking for a ghostwriter to write a book about bipolar. I applied for the job. We were negotiating the price and this woman ghosted me after I agreed to write according to the set price. A month later, I discover that the gig was closed and that woman had given the job to someone else. Talk about annoying.
So how do you spot scammers and legit companies?
1 Look for the verified payment description in their profile
When you are looking for potential gigs, do not just settle for any gig, check to make sure that their payments are verified. That alone should tell you who is a scammer. There are some companies or clients that are new and mean no harm but tread with caution.
2 Watch out for the tests
As mentioned above, some of these companies, particularly Indian companies tend to give out tests. Be careful with these as some of these so-called companies use that as an opportunity to steal ideas and content off unexpecting innocent freelancers.
3 Be wary if they ask you to Skype them immediately
Upwork has a strict policy about client/freelancer communication so if anyone of them asks for your WhatsApp number or asks you to Skype them immediately, be careful as they could be using that as an opportunity to scam you. Upwork has a feature built within the website and app that enables clients and freelancers to effectively communicate.
4 They do not have a website or social media presence
This bit alone is a major red flag to me. Once they give you their company name, do your research into that company before you agree to work with them. That alone saves you a lot of time and energy. There are some companies, usually, startups, that do not have that much cash for that. So in that case, you can help them out. But those so-called bigwigs pretending to be all are the ones you should be careful with.
5 They are not active for months or they simply ghost you
Case in point, my unfortunate story above. If they ignore you for months or they simply ghost you, move on to the next one. That proves that the person does not care about you and sees you as small fry.
6 They keep posting the same thing every month
This is again yet another red flag. I came across this person on Upwork who kept on posting the same old job offer for new content writers and he did not only post it once but 6 good times within the same month. Such a person comes across as desperate and that is a total no-no. Steer clear from such persons or organizations as it means that they have a toxic work culture.
7 They ask you for money
You are offering them the service so it is they that are meant to pay you, not the other way around. If you notice them asking you for cash, run for it.
Conclusion:
To all, new virtual assistants and freelancers in general, take warning and duck when you come across clients that fall under this category. You are maybe offering them a service but remember, you are human too. You deserve just as much respect as any other person.
You are a boss as much as they are. If they do not respect that, just walk away. There are loads of great clients out there that await you.
[image error]How To Spot A Scammer On Websites like Upwork was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
Father May I?
Image provided by CanvaHe came to this country looking for a dream.
He found a woman with eyes that were lighter than green.
To them,
his credentials said the most that he could do was look after me.
The jobs under the table were not stable.
I constructed with him on the sites,
after school, we rode our bikes.
So,
it was a man that taught me how to be.
Me.
A woman.
A budding young woman watching my mother go to work every morning to feed our family.
What
is
patriarchy?
Bringing doughnuts to the teachers, he was never less of a man,
you see.
The only father in the PTA,
for me.
Compassionately strong.
Gently forceful.
Assertive and accommodating.
Courageous and calm.
A man taught me how to be human.
A woman taught me how to be human.
Recognizing masculine energy only occurs
because there is a feminine energy.
The yin to the yang of being a human being.
The totality holds the duality.
What
is
patriarchy?
Father May I? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
September 14, 2022
September 13, 2022
Call For Submissions — Is It Still A Man’s World?
I want to push us this week. This is a topic that I’ve been trying to formulate for some time now and I think it’s important to read your opinions.
It’s no secret that the world has largely been shaped through patriarchal eyes. I have my own opinion on what this means, but I’m going to hold off until I read all of your submissions.
For this week’s writing prompt, tell us the role patriarchy has played in your life. It can be positive or negative, I just ask that it be personal. I don’t want a rant about the ills of patriarchy, I want to know how patriarchy has impacted you.
Same rules as always:You can submit to this or ANY of our past writing prompts. Just scroll through our previous newsletters. They’ll be marked “Call for Submissions.”If you’re already a writer for CRY, go ahead and submit.Be as creative as you want in your submissions. As long as you stick to the topic, we’ll consider it.Just because you submit doesn’t mean we’ll post. If you haven’t heard back from us in three days, consider that a pass.[image error]Call For Submissions — Is It Still A Man’s World? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
