Kern Carter's Blog, page 170
May 18, 2019
Helpful Thoughts for Freelancers
I share these helpful thoughts for freelancers because there are many things I wish I had known been going independent as a writer.
May 8, 2019
Swimming With The Devil
Photo by Will Swann on Unsplash3 years ago. That’s when it started. You were like nothing I’ve ever seen or had before; real, honest, true. We fell deeper in love as the days flew by. We were dangerously in love and everyone knew it. We were inseparable; spent hours together until the sun came up. We were one; I gave myself to you as you gave yourself to me. Together we were going to conquer the world. Our love was like an ocean, beautiful, deep, and full of treasure; but dangerous. We drifted where we could no longer see land. We went along with the current splashing and playing, all while holding on to our life jackets. You told me to trust you, and to let go of mine; that you would be there to hold and protect me. And so, I did… your smile turned into a blinding light of illusions and lies. Where are you? I can’t feel you. You let go of me, my eyes burning from the tears as my heart is obliterated. I reach for you as you watch me slowly sink and drown. The tips of my fingers now fully submerged…I watch as the surface gets further and further away. Silly me, I should’ve known…known that I was swimming with the devil.
Swimming With The Devil was originally published in C.R.Y on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
This is the only weapon that will help you kill the dragon of self-doubt
There is something deeper than the food we eat. There is something deeper than the books we read. We need to dig farther than the words we’ve been told. It’s not about the pieces of advice we have been given, neither the love of people that have been surrounding us since we were born. It’s a kind of devil that seems to be part of our flesh and even more. Like a molecule, it forms our life. Like a memory that is given by parents to children. Part of our short story as humankind. Perhaps our only enemy. It is called: Self Doubt, or even worse…Self Rejection.
Robert Fisher puts it totally right in his book The Knight With the Rusty Armor. He pictures self-doubt as an enormous dragon. We face him with no weapons or help. We are naked and powerless in front of him. The dragon roars in power and confidence and we are completely weak and stressed. That gives him even more power and confidence.
Knowledge is an extra trick that fools us. People that have reached a level of knowledge that they once desired are sure that this dragon does not even exist. This makes him even more ecstatic! He loves the fact that people are anxious and they don’t know why. He loves that so many people harm themselves and the people who they love, and they have never thought to fight against him. Either because it is difficult or because they have never thought that he exists.
Self-rejection. Self-hate. I am not good enough. I will never be this good. I don’t deserve this. Nobody knows that I am nothing deep inside. They think I am a good person but in reality, I am bad. I am not special. I don’t have a talent. I am not hard working. I don’t deserve the money. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve life. Because…
Because I am black. Because I am a woman. Because I am Chinese. Because I was abused. Because I am gay. Because I am trans. Because I was raised poor. Because I was never good for my parents. Because my parents treated me as special but in reality I am nothing. Because I have told lies to people that I love. Because others have always been telling me I am not special. Because I am human and human means cancer on Earth. Because I am sinful. The list is as varied as people’s faces on Earth in all our history.
Let’s talk beyond the words. The truth is that we feel we will never be enough, I am sorry to tell you because we think we do not follow the norm of our herd in this particular time of history. And you know what? No one follows it. This norm is a law made by nerds. This norm is a lie. Nobody follows it. In fact, almost everyone feels broken, because either we know it or not, everyone is special. These regimes have failed the humankind. If that wasn’t true, hundreds of books talking about the curse of being special would never become bestsellers, my friend!
These norms are fake and so is the dragon. The dragon changes based on the time and the place we live and this confirms that it is a human-made illusion. If we believe that he is real he will burn us in his flames. The difficult part is to look him in his eyes even though our knees are trembling. The more we get closer to him the smaller he gets. He is powerful only when we don’t look him in his eyes. He gets smaller and smaller. The flames become smaller and smaller. The flames stop and his last move is to spread seeds of doubt. Keep going. He is gone.
If you decide to face this dragon, there is a possibility that he will destroy you. If you don’t, it is decided that he will. The good news is that we don’t have another option. This is life. The fight with this dragon. Most success stories were written because there was no other option.
If I get stuck on what I know I will never learn what I don’t know. Let yourself only to rest. Never feel pity of yourself. Take a rest and go further. Research.
Human history is sad. Billions of souls suffering from self-rejection and self-hate. All coming from the absence of knowledge of who we truly are. As I see it is quite simple. Humans are the only animals that need knowledge and love for themselves so as to thrive. Animals know. They are born knowing and I am sure about that. They know how to care, they know how to find water in their area, they are aware of natural phenomena. They simply know and they feel more than we can understand. And they are happy just being alive. A rabbit is happy just for being a rabbit. A zebra feels happy for being a zebra every single moment. A bird enjoys just the fact that it is a bird! (Mmmm, but this game changes for all of them when they get into captivity or abuse, just saying).
Humans, on the other hand, need to gain knowledge. We need to learn how to reach for goods, we need to learn how to raise our eyes and look in the stars. We need to read and research. I think that the only sad figure on Earth is a life that was never explored. Some years ago, I was a happy young woman that had no idea of the existence of the dragon. When I first saw him, I pretended he wasn’t there. I ruined my life pretending he wasn’t there. And I used to tell myself, “I have never had the need to cry, maybe I have nothing to cry for.” Now I know that I was almost killed by the tears I never cried.
Do you remember how cute and clever you were when you were a child? Let me tell you something honestly. Nothing has changed since then. You are cute, clever, you are beautiful and unique. I know they have told you the opposite, even though they never used words to express it in front of your face. You heard it when they talked about others. But let me tell you something else. They know nothing. This is not their personal view. This is their limit of conception. A personal view arises after a lot of reading, thought, and philosophy.
And most of all, a personal view is never against human rights.
So do yourself a favor and remember who you are. Let yourself as a child come and save you. Self-awareness is the only bullet that can kill this dragon. Awareness is the key that opens the door to the whole universe. The universe is ours to enjoy. We are part of it. We have an advantage over those suffering souls of human history. We have time. We have hours to work with our minds and hands. These hours can become days and months of hard working with each other, so as to change the sad narration of humankind and finally write the word human with a capital H.
We need your freedom. Freedom comes only from inside. Like life inside from the egg.
This is the only weapon that will help you kill the dragon of self-doubt was originally published in C.R.Y on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
May 3, 2019
To you, my teenage daughter, on my days as a teenage parent
I helped bring you into a world when I was not much older than you are right now. At 18, I was a teenager who wasn’t at all prepared for…
May 2, 2019
April 27, 2019
Six Principles for Surviving the 21st Century — Market Mad House
Unfortunately, there is no guide to surviving the 21 st Century. However, my favorite philosopher Yuval Noah Harari gives us a glimpse of…
April 26, 2019
April 22, 2019
I miss having faith
Photo by James Coleman on UnsplashEaster always makes me wax religious, which is an odd experience for someone who lost their faith.
I wrote about my crisis of faith and the details of my leaving the religious traditions of my family in more detail before, but today I don’t want to dwell on the past. I’m thinking about the present and future.
Maybe it’s a symptom from my upbringing, but on occasion I feel the desire to pray, or attend church, read scriptures. The problem is I wouldn’t know where to start.
This isn’t about rejecting the promptings of God for sake of my own ego, but about the fact that I simply don’t believe in the god of my family’s traditions. I haven’t for a very long time.
Even as a child, I didn’t find feelings of spirituality in the imagery of an angry god to be feared and loved, but in the serenity and beauty of the natural world I grew up around.
Photo by Bryce olsen on UnsplashFor lack of better language in this area, I feel closest to God when I’m submerged fully in the real world, the places where animals and plants live by their desires and needs, not by organization.
I feel no love or spirituality in the constructs of a society Hell-bent on its own gain. Not in churches led by men who make decisions for the lives of their congregations and expect to be obeyed.
I don’t miss Christianity, but I do miss the feeling of knowing. A confidence that you’re doing something right on a cosmic level. I miss a regular attendance to church, a place where I am surrounded by other (usually) well-meaning people in our collective journey to self-betterment.
I miss community.
Instead, I feel somewhat alone. It’s not true of course, I have my friends, the love of my life and my family even if they are far away. Still, sometimes I feel the old habits wanting to come up. I want to rest on my knees and pray to… well I really wouldn’t know.
Photo by Diana Parkhouse on UnsplashIs it wrong to pray when you don’t even know who or what you’re praying to? Is it wrong to seek wisdom from a scripture you no longer believe in? It feels to me like seeking comfort in these things are wrong, unhealthy. The way a child clings to a blanket, or an addict clings to their high, it’s not right.
This world is full of beauty and spirituality. It’s an incredible place that, just for being, deserves respect and love if not some measure of worship.
The trick is, for me, I have no idea how to do that anymore.
I miss having faith was originally published in C.R.Y on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
April 21, 2019
April 16, 2019
Everything I’ve Learned as a Copywriter
Everything I’ve learned about what it takes to break into this profitable industry.
