James Hauenstein's Blog, page 81
February 20, 2018
I am not a Pusillanimous!
If you have kept up with my long narratives about my life on this Blog, you would know that I grew up in Wisconsin. Like all of the States in the United States of today, the Wisconsin I grew up in, is not the same Wisconsin of Two-Thousand-Eighteen.
Everywhere and everyday, more and more people are encroaching on the wilderness and land once owned by farmers. Thank God for the City, County, State, and Federal Parks, where some animal species have adapted and are surviving.
In Wisconsin for instance, there are no longer Pheasants roaming around the fields, where a young boy or girl could use a bow and arrow to hunt them down. Today, they have Pheasant Farms. Where you pay to go pheasant hunting on a Farmer's land, after he releases a few birds he has been breeding.
Right or wrong, left or right, up or down. It is what it is.
I was about twenty years old, working at a place called "Crane Manufacturing." Which is no longer in business. And a bunch of my co-workers asked if I wanted to go deer hunting with them during the Thanksgiving break.
It is such a tradition in Wisconsin, to go deer hunting, that the company would ask you if you wanted time off, with no pay, to go hunting and their would be no repercussions.
And at that time, my philosophy on life was due to a bumper sticker.
"A Bad Day Of Fishing, Is Still Better Then A Good Day At Work!" I'll take any day off of work, anytime.Well, we went "up north" as they say, to northern Wisconsin, were one of these fellows had some land. We got up really early the first day and set up a plan to spread out in a line formation, moving forward into the woods. The rule was, you can only shoot in "front of you." If you see a deer jump up, on either side of you, and you take a shot, the other guys have the right to take your weapon away. Logical enough. It was a long day, where I didn't sight one deer. We gathered together and were walking back to the cabin, when one of the guys spotted a doe eating grass in an opened area, next to a pond. The guys all knew I was the rookie of the bunch, so they all said, "Go ahead Jim. Take the shot." I couldn't. I aimed the riffle, but I couldn't take the shot and kill that deer. After the doe ran off, we all went to the cabin and started drinking beer.
That is when one of them said, "Jim. You are a real pusillanimous."
They all started laughing at me. I thought he was using some kind of vulgarity to describe me!
I didn't find out until after the hunting trip was over, when I got back home, what "Pusillanimous" meant.
And they were calling me that word for a week straight!
I am not a Pusillanimous!
I am brave, bold, and courageous.
If you don't take me hunting.
This is,Remember,Shooting The First One Is The Hardest,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”
- P.G. Wodehouse, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
Everywhere and everyday, more and more people are encroaching on the wilderness and land once owned by farmers. Thank God for the City, County, State, and Federal Parks, where some animal species have adapted and are surviving.
In Wisconsin for instance, there are no longer Pheasants roaming around the fields, where a young boy or girl could use a bow and arrow to hunt them down. Today, they have Pheasant Farms. Where you pay to go pheasant hunting on a Farmer's land, after he releases a few birds he has been breeding.
Right or wrong, left or right, up or down. It is what it is. I was about twenty years old, working at a place called "Crane Manufacturing." Which is no longer in business. And a bunch of my co-workers asked if I wanted to go deer hunting with them during the Thanksgiving break.
It is such a tradition in Wisconsin, to go deer hunting, that the company would ask you if you wanted time off, with no pay, to go hunting and their would be no repercussions.
And at that time, my philosophy on life was due to a bumper sticker.
"A Bad Day Of Fishing, Is Still Better Then A Good Day At Work!" I'll take any day off of work, anytime.Well, we went "up north" as they say, to northern Wisconsin, were one of these fellows had some land. We got up really early the first day and set up a plan to spread out in a line formation, moving forward into the woods. The rule was, you can only shoot in "front of you." If you see a deer jump up, on either side of you, and you take a shot, the other guys have the right to take your weapon away. Logical enough. It was a long day, where I didn't sight one deer. We gathered together and were walking back to the cabin, when one of the guys spotted a doe eating grass in an opened area, next to a pond. The guys all knew I was the rookie of the bunch, so they all said, "Go ahead Jim. Take the shot." I couldn't. I aimed the riffle, but I couldn't take the shot and kill that deer. After the doe ran off, we all went to the cabin and started drinking beer.
That is when one of them said, "Jim. You are a real pusillanimous."
They all started laughing at me. I thought he was using some kind of vulgarity to describe me!
I didn't find out until after the hunting trip was over, when I got back home, what "Pusillanimous" meant.
And they were calling me that word for a week straight!
I am not a Pusillanimous!
I am brave, bold, and courageous.
If you don't take me hunting.
This is,Remember,Shooting The First One Is The Hardest,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”
- P.G. Wodehouse, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 18, 2018
Agnes Magnúsdóttir
For centuries, a cluster of small farms near the water on Iceland's Vatnsnes peninsula have eked out an existence among the grassy fields and rocky hills, more or less content to be surviving at the edge of the world. The peninsula is known for a black basalt rock formation that's said to be a petrified troll, and for the colonies of seals that come to sun themselves on the beach.It's still almost as peaceful—and lonely—as it was the night in March 1828 when Agnes Magnúsdóttir ran from Illugastaðir, the farm where she worked, to the house at Stapakot farm to report a fire. The situation, she said, was dire: Two people were trapped inside the rapidly burning building.
When the rescuers arrived and extinguished the blaze, the scene was even worse than they expected. Inside, they discovered the bodies of Natan Ketilsson, the farm’s owner, and his guest, Pétur Jónsson. Though the two were badly burned, the rescuers could see it wasn't the fire that had caused their deaths: They'd been murdered. The men had been stabbed 12 times and bludgeoned with a hammer before the fire had been set with shark oil.
The authorities quickly arrested both Agnes and Illugastaðir’s other maid, Sigríður Guðmundsdóttir, as well as a young man named Friðrik Sigurdsson. Although the trio's motives were murky, local gossips suspected the crime had something to do with their romantic entanglements.
Agnes was born in northern Iceland on October 27, 1795. Her parents, Ingveldur Rafnsdóttir and Magnús Magnússon, were unmarried farmers; her father quickly left the picture, and at age 6 Agnes was fostered out to a pair of tenant farmers elsewhere in northern Iceland. Little about her early life is known, save that it was steeped in toil and poverty. But everything changed when she met Natan Ketilsson.
Agnes fell head over heels for Natan, a self-taught doctor and herbalist. Though she was his maid, he encouraged her intellect and gave her a glimpse of life beyond poverty and drudgery. The two seem to have had a brief affair, but Natan was in love with Skáld-Rósa, a well-known local poet. Though Rósa was married, her long-standing relationship with Natan was known in the area; the two even had children together. To make matters more complicated, Natan had also recently been intimate with 16-year-old Sigríður.
No one has ever been able to figure out how, exactly, these intertwined passions may have led to murder. Had Agnes grown jealous of Natan's recent attentions to Sigríður? Or had Friðrik? The trial documents focused more on the idea that the group was conspiring to steal from a wealthy landowner, saying that Friðrik "came to commit this evil through hatred of Natan, and a desire to steal." The women named Friðrik as the mastermind of the crime, although they were short on details about why he was to blame.
The few available facts, together with a fear of rebellious servants, encouraged the idea of Agnes as a sort of villainess, and it was enough to condemn her. While translating local documents, the “words such as 'devil,' 'witch' and 'spider' were frequently used to describe Agnes. Where I looked to find something of her life story, or acknowledgement of social or cultural factors that may have contributed to her crime, I found only the belief that she was unequivocally evil—a monster.”
After a long trial that went all the way to the Supreme Court in Copenhagen—Iceland was then still under Danish rule—Agnes, 33, and Friðrik, 19, were sentenced to be executed. Sigríður was also sentenced to death, but her punishment was eventually commuted to life in prison, which she would serve in Denmark. The reasons for the commutation aren’t entirely clear, except that by then the public had seized on Agnes as the real evil-doer. Since jail space wasn’t available in rural Iceland, the convicted were sent to local farms to await their fate; Agnes was held at Kornsá, the very same farm where she had lived with a foster family, although by then the house had different inhabitants.
Execution day arrived on January 12, 1830. The beheading was a spectacle: 150 male representatives from all of the district's farms attended, and a special ax was imported from Denmark. Guðmundur Ketilsson, Natan’s brother, carried out the deed in the middle of three hillocks in Húnavatnssýsla; Friðrik went first, then Agnes. It was the last time anyone was executed in Iceland. (You can still see the ax head, and chopping block, at Iceland's National Museum.)
They were forbidden Christian burial rites, and their heads were impaled onto sticks and displayed publicly, facing the road. But the heads wouldn't be there for long: They were stolen within 24 hours of going on display—and would stay missing for close to 100 years.
Sometime around 1930, a local woman who claimed to have been visited by Agnes’s spirit came forward with their location. The identity of the thieves remains a mystery, although legend has it that a kind-hearted housewife felt moved to bury them herself.
Bizarrely, the heads were found just where the informant said they would be, “‘in the direction of the setting sun at high summer’ and not far from the execution mound,” according to crime writer Quentin Bates.
The bodies of Agnes and Friðrik, which had been buried near the site of their execution, were reburied with their heads in a churchyard in Tjörn, not far from where Illugastaðir farm once stood.
On September 9, 2017, Agnes got a second day in court. A mock trial arranged by the Icelandic Legal Society retried the case under modern rules, with the result that Agnes was sentenced to 14 years in prison instead of death.
According to David Þór, one of the mock court’s three judges and a real former judge at the European Court of Human Rights, the original trial didn’t attempt to answer why the murders occurred. "No one cared about the motivation behind the murders—that wouldn't happen in a modern court," he said. "Today we would try to understand the motivation behind the murders and particularly how the two women, who had no other place to live, were treated by their master."
Agnes’s story has captivated Iceland for the last 200 years. Was she a woman whose hard-won happiness was being threatened, and she was out for revenge? Or was there something even darker at work? Though the 1828 trial records are preserved in Iceland’s National Library, little evidence remains of Agnes’s life.
“There isn’t a lot to go on. But it can be imagined how the relationships between these people had developed and the pressure increased over the course of the dark winter in a farmhouse the size of a small apartment today, and with a healthy walk to reach the nearest neighbors. It’s the stuff of a psychological thriller.”
And indeed, nine books have been written on the subject in Iceland, with a 10th on the way; the murderess is even the subject of an Icelandic pop song. With the renewed interest, the events at Illugastaðir will likely captivate us for years to come—even if we may never know exactly what happened that March evening.
This is,Gosh,I Wish That I Came Up With This Story,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“There's no one on the island telling them they're not good enough, so they just go ahead and sing and paint and write.”
- Eric Weiner, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 17, 2018
Extrasensory Perception
I first noticed the potential when I was still in High School. I am pretty sure it was during my Freshman year when it happened.
First, a little background might help you to understand me, why I did it, and how I developed my powers.
The group of friends I was associated with, were called Eggheads. The precursor before Nerds came along, which led to future brainiacs being called Geeks, and finally what most people call Techies today.
One of our friends was actually called Egghead because of all the knowledge he had stored up from reading so much.
Well, we all read a lot, but if you wanted to know something, something really off the wall, you asked Paul. Mister Egghead.
You have to remember. This was a time before computers and well before cellphones came out.
There were no search engines you could go to, for instant knowledge on any subject. If you wanted to know something you had to look it up. In a book. Usually at a library.
It was quite arbitrary if the book you were reading was up to date. That it had the latest breakthroughs or updates to the subject you were interested in.
It is like Wiki-Knowledge today. Where a person writes a paper on a subject and publishes it without anybody collaborating on his work or proving the accuracy of his findings.
And in a book, it would take years before someone could substantiate and corroborate the author's original findings. Or, invalidate them.
So our group, the Eggheads, we did our own research on almost every subject we were interested in.
This is where Zen comes in.
We were all trying to find ourselves. Using our minds to better ourselves and find peace within.
It was the beginning of the Nineteen-Seventies. The age of the Hippies was starting to fade away, and the era of Yuppies was beginning.
The days of tripping to "Expand your Mind" was coming to an end. Thank God.
But what if you could use your mind for more? Expanding its horizons naturally.
The U.S. Military did try experimenting with people, whom they thought had Extrasensory Perception. Or ESP.
That was back in the 1960s. Even before our time.
The Military even experimented with those mind altering drugs to enhance their subject's ESP. First, with the knowledge of the recipients already in the program, then with human guinea pigs, without them knowing they were being used.
Either way, they destroyed a lot of people's minds and their lives.
The people they first used in their program, were the usual charlatans. The normal Taro Card, Crystal Ball, Ouija Board Mumbo Jumboists who you could see in any New Orleans parlor or traveling Circus.
Sure, these people were very convincing. They had years to hone their craft before the U.S. Military came a calling. These Fortune Tellers figured out what they wanted to hear and gave it to them on a silver platter.
It was easy. "The Russians are aiming their nuclear weapons at Washington D.C." Or, "East Germany is using spies in Europe to gather intelligence on our capabilities."
Crap like that.
After years of secretly wasting Tax Payer's money, the Military finally scrapped the program, calling it a complete failure.
Maybe they had it all wrong? Maybe they were trying to control the wrong animals from afar? Using these, so called ESP people, to see what our enemies were doing and planning from afar.
Even if these people did have ESP, to reach out, and grab a hold of a person's mind, to find out military secrets was ludicrous.
The Military didn't practice on normal ordinary individuals. They went after top Soviet Scientists and leaders like Generals. They started at the top.
Of course the program failed. They didn't let their ESP experts time to grow and develop their mind's capabilities.
The first time I new I had the ability is when a group of us were listening to music at Rick's parents house.
Rick was a true Egghead, he later became a successful business man.
But at this time though, we were all pretty young and the World was one big adventure for us to grab a hold of.
So, I did a little experiment on my own.
I was already reading a lot of material on transcendental meditation, how to interpret my dreams, and flying through some pretty exciting atrial projections.
I felt my mind was strong enough to give it a go and it was time to try something new.
That is when I started playing a game of chess with Micheal.
Micheal wasn't a true Egghead. He wasn't really one of us. But we were a friendly group and we let him hang about.
If I am not mistaken, today, he has one of those lesser menial jobs going by the wayside due to the new robotic age.
But I digress.
Well, I already new that Micheal's thought processies were no where near my own, so I knew he was the perfect test subject.
During our game, at a point where the outcome was still undecided. Maybe nine or ten moves in. I concentrated as hard as I could on convincing him to move his Rook, on his Queen's side of the board, up two squares behind his Pawn, which he had moved earlier up two squares. This left it wide open for my Bishop to angle down and take his Castle, when it came my turn. He had already moved the adjoining pawn up one square, his Knight on that side left of that pawn, and his Bishop, also on that side, angling up two squares over from his Knight.
I had no fear of losing my Bishop.
I took his Rook and quickly finished him off after that. Controlling his every move.
That is when it came to me. When trying to control a mind, you don't try controlling someone who could be your equal in intelligence. They can naturally fight off invading thoughts. You control a lessor mind.
That's is where animals come into play.
You want someone taken out of the picture? A rival businessman, a more talented athlete, or just someone you just can't stand.
I'm your man. For a hefty fee that is.
The person you want eliminated lives near the Florida Everglades or a Louisiana swamp? I'll have an alligator romp right up his yard and have him rip his leg off.
They live next to the Appalachian Mountains or the Rocky Mountains. A bobcat or mountain lion will do the trick.
My favorite is when the victims have their own doberman pinscher, pit bull, or rottweiler. Where Authorities don't even look past the the canine for cause of death.
So, who, when, and where? Where they live, being is the most important information I need. So I can plan out which type of animal I will use to eliminate your adversary.
What do you say. You ready to pay?
This is,Telling You That Part Of This Story Is True,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I believe that humans are on an evolutionary path where brain usage will escalate beyond the current 10% standard, and as we evolve, so will our “ESP” abilities. Today, more and more children are born already possessing these abilities, and it’s appropriate we adjust to the new world reality already happening.”
- Tessie Jayme, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
First, a little background might help you to understand me, why I did it, and how I developed my powers.
The group of friends I was associated with, were called Eggheads. The precursor before Nerds came along, which led to future brainiacs being called Geeks, and finally what most people call Techies today.
One of our friends was actually called Egghead because of all the knowledge he had stored up from reading so much.
Well, we all read a lot, but if you wanted to know something, something really off the wall, you asked Paul. Mister Egghead.
You have to remember. This was a time before computers and well before cellphones came out.
There were no search engines you could go to, for instant knowledge on any subject. If you wanted to know something you had to look it up. In a book. Usually at a library.
It was quite arbitrary if the book you were reading was up to date. That it had the latest breakthroughs or updates to the subject you were interested in.
It is like Wiki-Knowledge today. Where a person writes a paper on a subject and publishes it without anybody collaborating on his work or proving the accuracy of his findings.
And in a book, it would take years before someone could substantiate and corroborate the author's original findings. Or, invalidate them.
So our group, the Eggheads, we did our own research on almost every subject we were interested in.
This is where Zen comes in.
We were all trying to find ourselves. Using our minds to better ourselves and find peace within.
It was the beginning of the Nineteen-Seventies. The age of the Hippies was starting to fade away, and the era of Yuppies was beginning.
The days of tripping to "Expand your Mind" was coming to an end. Thank God.
But what if you could use your mind for more? Expanding its horizons naturally.
The U.S. Military did try experimenting with people, whom they thought had Extrasensory Perception. Or ESP.
That was back in the 1960s. Even before our time.
The Military even experimented with those mind altering drugs to enhance their subject's ESP. First, with the knowledge of the recipients already in the program, then with human guinea pigs, without them knowing they were being used.
Either way, they destroyed a lot of people's minds and their lives.
The people they first used in their program, were the usual charlatans. The normal Taro Card, Crystal Ball, Ouija Board Mumbo Jumboists who you could see in any New Orleans parlor or traveling Circus.
Sure, these people were very convincing. They had years to hone their craft before the U.S. Military came a calling. These Fortune Tellers figured out what they wanted to hear and gave it to them on a silver platter.
It was easy. "The Russians are aiming their nuclear weapons at Washington D.C." Or, "East Germany is using spies in Europe to gather intelligence on our capabilities."
Crap like that.
After years of secretly wasting Tax Payer's money, the Military finally scrapped the program, calling it a complete failure.
Maybe they had it all wrong? Maybe they were trying to control the wrong animals from afar? Using these, so called ESP people, to see what our enemies were doing and planning from afar.
Even if these people did have ESP, to reach out, and grab a hold of a person's mind, to find out military secrets was ludicrous.
The Military didn't practice on normal ordinary individuals. They went after top Soviet Scientists and leaders like Generals. They started at the top.
Of course the program failed. They didn't let their ESP experts time to grow and develop their mind's capabilities.
The first time I new I had the ability is when a group of us were listening to music at Rick's parents house.
Rick was a true Egghead, he later became a successful business man.
But at this time though, we were all pretty young and the World was one big adventure for us to grab a hold of.
So, I did a little experiment on my own.
I was already reading a lot of material on transcendental meditation, how to interpret my dreams, and flying through some pretty exciting atrial projections.
I felt my mind was strong enough to give it a go and it was time to try something new.
That is when I started playing a game of chess with Micheal.
Micheal wasn't a true Egghead. He wasn't really one of us. But we were a friendly group and we let him hang about.
If I am not mistaken, today, he has one of those lesser menial jobs going by the wayside due to the new robotic age.
But I digress.
Well, I already new that Micheal's thought processies were no where near my own, so I knew he was the perfect test subject.
During our game, at a point where the outcome was still undecided. Maybe nine or ten moves in. I concentrated as hard as I could on convincing him to move his Rook, on his Queen's side of the board, up two squares behind his Pawn, which he had moved earlier up two squares. This left it wide open for my Bishop to angle down and take his Castle, when it came my turn. He had already moved the adjoining pawn up one square, his Knight on that side left of that pawn, and his Bishop, also on that side, angling up two squares over from his Knight.
I had no fear of losing my Bishop.
I took his Rook and quickly finished him off after that. Controlling his every move.
That is when it came to me. When trying to control a mind, you don't try controlling someone who could be your equal in intelligence. They can naturally fight off invading thoughts. You control a lessor mind.
That's is where animals come into play.
You want someone taken out of the picture? A rival businessman, a more talented athlete, or just someone you just can't stand.
I'm your man. For a hefty fee that is.
The person you want eliminated lives near the Florida Everglades or a Louisiana swamp? I'll have an alligator romp right up his yard and have him rip his leg off.
They live next to the Appalachian Mountains or the Rocky Mountains. A bobcat or mountain lion will do the trick.
My favorite is when the victims have their own doberman pinscher, pit bull, or rottweiler. Where Authorities don't even look past the the canine for cause of death.
So, who, when, and where? Where they live, being is the most important information I need. So I can plan out which type of animal I will use to eliminate your adversary.What do you say. You ready to pay?
This is,Telling You That Part Of This Story Is True,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I believe that humans are on an evolutionary path where brain usage will escalate beyond the current 10% standard, and as we evolve, so will our “ESP” abilities. Today, more and more children are born already possessing these abilities, and it’s appropriate we adjust to the new world reality already happening.”
- Tessie Jayme, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 16, 2018
It Is All Relatives
I am always trying to be funny when I can.
And my
Post
from
March 4th, 2016
called
Albert Einstein's Special Relatives and General Relatives Theories
is a good example of that.
As I try a
Play On Words
to be
Funny.
*****
I know we all have theories on our
Relatives. Or simply put,our
Relativity's Physiquesand
Mental Capabilities.This usually encompasses two theories byAlbert Einstein.Special RelativesandGeneral Relatives.
Concepts introduced by him in the Theories of Relatives.This includes the concept ofSpacetime,as a unified entity of the spacebetween their earsand thetimeit takes for them to figure out one of your jokes.Like the one you told about your Relative with the simple-anxiety,or Kin-ematic,or Grampa's invitational time dilation,and hisLengthy nose hair contractions.Now,"A team of UK-based scientists from the University of Cambridge and Queen Mary University of London have successfully simulated a five-dimensional black hole with the help of supercomputers, reported the Huffington Post. If real, the simulated black hole would be so powerful it could break down the rules that govern the theory of our General Relatives!" By Kirsten Silven for the INQUISITR and borrowed off of the Huffington Post website. "How a five- dimensional #BlackHole could ‘break’ #GeneralRelativity: https://t.co/LXiIdTve0L pic.twitter.com/RPAxEvir3Y— Cambridge University (@Cambridge_Uni) February 19, 2016"
This is, Me,
Trying To Be Funny,
It is Friday,
Do You Think I Missed The Boat?
It Was Either This,
Or Making Fun Of The Cop Who Found OJ Simpson's Bloodied Murder Knife And Kept It As A Souvenir!
Back In 1998, Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder. ”
- Dark Jar Tin Zoo -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
And my
Post
from
March 4th, 2016
called
Albert Einstein's Special Relatives and General Relatives Theories
is a good example of that.
As I try a
Play On Words
to be
Funny.
*****
I know we all have theories on our
Relatives. Or simply put,our
Relativity's Physiquesand
Mental Capabilities.This usually encompasses two theories byAlbert Einstein.Special RelativesandGeneral Relatives.
Concepts introduced by him in the Theories of Relatives.This includes the concept ofSpacetime,as a unified entity of the spacebetween their earsand thetimeit takes for them to figure out one of your jokes.Like the one you told about your Relative with the simple-anxiety,or Kin-ematic,or Grampa's invitational time dilation,and hisLengthy nose hair contractions.Now,"A team of UK-based scientists from the University of Cambridge and Queen Mary University of London have successfully simulated a five-dimensional black hole with the help of supercomputers, reported the Huffington Post. If real, the simulated black hole would be so powerful it could break down the rules that govern the theory of our General Relatives!" By Kirsten Silven for the INQUISITR and borrowed off of the Huffington Post website. "How a five- dimensional #BlackHole could ‘break’ #GeneralRelativity: https://t.co/LXiIdTve0L pic.twitter.com/RPAxEvir3Y— Cambridge University (@Cambridge_Uni) February 19, 2016"This is, Me,
Trying To Be Funny,
It is Friday,
Do You Think I Missed The Boat?
It Was Either This,
Or Making Fun Of The Cop Who Found OJ Simpson's Bloodied Murder Knife And Kept It As A Souvenir!
Back In 1998, Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder. ”
- Dark Jar Tin Zoo -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
It Is All Relative
I am always trying to be funny when I can.
And my
Post
from
March 4th, 2016
called
Albert Einstein's Special Relatives and General Relatives Theories
is a good example of that.
As I try a
Play On Words
to be
Funny.
*****
I know we all have theories on our
Relatives. Or simply put,our
Relativity's Physiquesand
Mental Capabilities.This usually encompasses two theories byAlbert Einstein.Special RelativesandGeneral Relatives.
Concepts introduced by him in the Theories of Relatives.This includes the concept ofSpacetime,as a unified entity of the spacebetween their earsand thetimeit takes for them to figure out one of your jokes.Like the one you told about your Relative with the simple-anxiety,or Kin-ematic,or Grampa's invitational time dilation,and hisLengthy nose hair contractions.Now,"A team of UK-based scientists from the University of Cambridge and Queen Mary University of London have successfully simulated a five-dimensional black hole with the help of supercomputers, reported the Huffington Post. If real, the simulated black hole would be so powerful it could break down the rules that govern the theory of our General Relatives!" By Kirsten Silven for the INQUISITR and borrowed off of the Huffington Post website. "How a five- dimensional #BlackHole could ‘break’ #GeneralRelativity: https://t.co/LXiIdTve0L pic.twitter.com/RPAxEvir3Y— Cambridge University (@Cambridge_Uni) February 19, 2016"
This is, Me,
Trying To Be Funny,
It is Friday,
Do You Think I Missed The Boat?
It Was Either This,
Or Making Fun Of The Cop Who Found OJ Simpson's Bloodied Murder Knife And Kept It As A Souvenir!
Back In 1998, Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder. ”
- Dark Jar Tin Zoo -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
And my
Post
from
March 4th, 2016
called
Albert Einstein's Special Relatives and General Relatives Theories
is a good example of that.
As I try a
Play On Words
to be
Funny.
*****
I know we all have theories on our
Relatives. Or simply put,our
Relativity's Physiquesand
Mental Capabilities.This usually encompasses two theories byAlbert Einstein.Special RelativesandGeneral Relatives.
Concepts introduced by him in the Theories of Relatives.This includes the concept ofSpacetime,as a unified entity of the spacebetween their earsand thetimeit takes for them to figure out one of your jokes.Like the one you told about your Relative with the simple-anxiety,or Kin-ematic,or Grampa's invitational time dilation,and hisLengthy nose hair contractions.Now,"A team of UK-based scientists from the University of Cambridge and Queen Mary University of London have successfully simulated a five-dimensional black hole with the help of supercomputers, reported the Huffington Post. If real, the simulated black hole would be so powerful it could break down the rules that govern the theory of our General Relatives!" By Kirsten Silven for the INQUISITR and borrowed off of the Huffington Post website. "How a five- dimensional #BlackHole could ‘break’ #GeneralRelativity: https://t.co/LXiIdTve0L pic.twitter.com/RPAxEvir3Y— Cambridge University (@Cambridge_Uni) February 19, 2016"This is, Me,
Trying To Be Funny,
It is Friday,
Do You Think I Missed The Boat?
It Was Either This,
Or Making Fun Of The Cop Who Found OJ Simpson's Bloodied Murder Knife And Kept It As A Souvenir!
Back In 1998, Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder. ”
- Dark Jar Tin Zoo -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 15, 2018
The Man From Mars - Episode Thirty Eight
"Do you speak English?" I asked, a little apprehensively. "Can I please get a glass of water?"
Either she did not understand what I was saying, or she couldn't hear me because of my throat being so sore. That I was speaking to her too quietly and hoarsely to be heard or understood.
But she had to know I was asking her something. She was looking straight at me and surely she could see that my lips were moving.
That is when I got worriedly excited. I had finally fully awaken enough to realize, where were my clothes? Where was Tiny? And where was the amulet?
I tried to sit up in the bed so I could look around the room better, but that is when the woman pointed the gun at my head. With all the resolve of an expert marksman in her eyes.
Every time I tried to move, to sit up, she got more determined with the gun. First she pointed it at my head. I moved again, she held it with two hands. I tried moving a third time, she closed her left eye and spied down the little site on the barrel of the gun.
I didn't move a fourth time because, I felt that her only other option left was to, pull the trigger.
Then I heard the strangest pounding sound on the door. It was, knock - knock knock knock - knock.
Someone, on the other side of the door, was using the old "Shave and a Haircut" jingle to single that they were at the door.
Of course, my captive, still aiming the gun in my general direction as she got up to respond to the person hitting the door, went knock - knock. "Two Bits."
I can't believe these people. Their secret knock on the door is the "Shave and a Haircut" jingle and then they answer each other with "Two Bits?"
Who were these people? What time period did they come out of. Straight out of Eighteen-Ninety-Nine?
My question was soon answered, as my captive, first moved to the left side of the entryway and waited for a moment. I found out later, she did this in case someone put a bullet through the door. Then she reached with a pencil, which I didn't know she had, covering the peep whole where tenants usually look through to see who is on the other side. Again, I found out later, that is when a killer will shoot you in the head. As the peep whole darkens when you look through it because you block out the light coming from inside the room.
With no guns a blazing, the woman puts her arm down to her side. The one holding the gun and opens the door with the other.
I was so happy to see a friendly face, that I quickly got up and sat on the edge of the bed.
With no clothes on.
With no blankets covering me up.
Completely naked.
But I was still excited enough to yell, "Tiny!"
For my efforts and excitement, I got a face full, of a rolled up bundle of clean clothes, which I was wearing before. The woman started laughing when the clothes fell away from my face. I must have had the funniest look on my mug for her to laugh so hard.
I didn't have that "woe is me" look, because of having my feelings hurt by Tiny, for throwing my clothes into my face. It was the "woe is me" hurt look, of having the bundle of clothes wrapped around my shoes and having my nose bloodied.
That is when the woman spoke English for the first time.
"He is a funny little man, isn't he Tiny?"
I am six foot. A little above the average height of most men. But like I said before, Tiny is a huge person. And now noticing for the first time, this woman was as tall as he was. Maybe not as broad shouldered as him, but I imagine she would whip me in a arm wrestling match if it came down to it.
Still naked and having hurt feelings of pride and a bruised nose, I spout out loudly, "You can speak English? Why couldn't you get me a glass of water?"
"I am not your waitress or your maid." She tells me. "My only job is to protect you from hurting yourself, or by getting hurt from someone else."
"Well, you didn't do a very good job at it. Tiny here nearly broke my nose!"
"Wow," she exclaimed in disbelief. "He is a whinny little....
"Don't say it." Interrupts Tiny. "You know I don't like that kind of language."
With both of them staring at me, and with me not having enough sense to put my clothes on, the woman who held a gun at my head just minutes before, breaks the silence by saying, "So, this guy who is going to save the human race."
She pauses for a moment, then adds, "Huh? It's hard to believe, isn't it?"
To Be Continued.....
Next Week.
This is,Always Loving A GoodFemme FataleIn Any Story,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I’ve never considered myself a femme fatale as I’ve never seduced anyone and ruined their lives. At least as far as I know.”
- Scarlett Johansson -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
Either she did not understand what I was saying, or she couldn't hear me because of my throat being so sore. That I was speaking to her too quietly and hoarsely to be heard or understood.
But she had to know I was asking her something. She was looking straight at me and surely she could see that my lips were moving.
That is when I got worriedly excited. I had finally fully awaken enough to realize, where were my clothes? Where was Tiny? And where was the amulet?
I tried to sit up in the bed so I could look around the room better, but that is when the woman pointed the gun at my head. With all the resolve of an expert marksman in her eyes.
Every time I tried to move, to sit up, she got more determined with the gun. First she pointed it at my head. I moved again, she held it with two hands. I tried moving a third time, she closed her left eye and spied down the little site on the barrel of the gun.
I didn't move a fourth time because, I felt that her only other option left was to, pull the trigger.Then I heard the strangest pounding sound on the door. It was, knock - knock knock knock - knock.
Someone, on the other side of the door, was using the old "Shave and a Haircut" jingle to single that they were at the door.
Of course, my captive, still aiming the gun in my general direction as she got up to respond to the person hitting the door, went knock - knock. "Two Bits."
I can't believe these people. Their secret knock on the door is the "Shave and a Haircut" jingle and then they answer each other with "Two Bits?"
Who were these people? What time period did they come out of. Straight out of Eighteen-Ninety-Nine?
My question was soon answered, as my captive, first moved to the left side of the entryway and waited for a moment. I found out later, she did this in case someone put a bullet through the door. Then she reached with a pencil, which I didn't know she had, covering the peep whole where tenants usually look through to see who is on the other side. Again, I found out later, that is when a killer will shoot you in the head. As the peep whole darkens when you look through it because you block out the light coming from inside the room.
With no guns a blazing, the woman puts her arm down to her side. The one holding the gun and opens the door with the other.
I was so happy to see a friendly face, that I quickly got up and sat on the edge of the bed.
With no clothes on.
With no blankets covering me up.
Completely naked.
But I was still excited enough to yell, "Tiny!"
For my efforts and excitement, I got a face full, of a rolled up bundle of clean clothes, which I was wearing before. The woman started laughing when the clothes fell away from my face. I must have had the funniest look on my mug for her to laugh so hard.
I didn't have that "woe is me" look, because of having my feelings hurt by Tiny, for throwing my clothes into my face. It was the "woe is me" hurt look, of having the bundle of clothes wrapped around my shoes and having my nose bloodied.
That is when the woman spoke English for the first time.
"He is a funny little man, isn't he Tiny?"
I am six foot. A little above the average height of most men. But like I said before, Tiny is a huge person. And now noticing for the first time, this woman was as tall as he was. Maybe not as broad shouldered as him, but I imagine she would whip me in a arm wrestling match if it came down to it.
Still naked and having hurt feelings of pride and a bruised nose, I spout out loudly, "You can speak English? Why couldn't you get me a glass of water?"
"I am not your waitress or your maid." She tells me. "My only job is to protect you from hurting yourself, or by getting hurt from someone else."
"Well, you didn't do a very good job at it. Tiny here nearly broke my nose!"
"Wow," she exclaimed in disbelief. "He is a whinny little....
"Don't say it." Interrupts Tiny. "You know I don't like that kind of language."
With both of them staring at me, and with me not having enough sense to put my clothes on, the woman who held a gun at my head just minutes before, breaks the silence by saying, "So, this guy who is going to save the human race."
She pauses for a moment, then adds, "Huh? It's hard to believe, isn't it?"
To Be Continued.....
Next Week.
This is,Always Loving A GoodFemme FataleIn Any Story,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I’ve never considered myself a femme fatale as I’ve never seduced anyone and ruined their lives. At least as far as I know.”
- Scarlett Johansson -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 13, 2018
Put Up Graffiti In My Back Yard
Finally,someone agrees with me.I have talked about this subject a few times.What am I talking about, you ask?It'sGraffiti.I have writtenPostscalledAnswering That Question You Did Not Know Was Bugging YouGraffiti, Art, And Lots Of HumorIt Is Art & A Message For Future Generationsand a follow up to this lastPostcalledContinuing The Story From Yesterday.Now,aJudgeinNew York Cityagrees with me!
Judge awards graffiti artists $6.7 million after their New York works were destroyed. By Associated Press Feb 12, 2018 on Los Angeles Times.com
"A judge awarded $6.7 million Monday to graffiti artists who sued after dozens of spray-paintings were destroyed on the walls of dilapidated New York warehouse buildings torn down to make room for high-rise luxury residences. U.S. District Judge Frederic Block in Brooklyn said 45 of the 49 paintings were recognized works of art "wrongfully and willfully destroyed" by a remorseless landlord. Twenty-one aerosol artists had sued the owner of a Long Island City site known as 5Pointz under the Visual Rights Act, a 1990 federal law that protects artists' rights even if someone else owns the physical artwork. Their graffiti was painted over in 2013, and the buildings were torn down a year later. Before they vanished, the graffiti artworks became a tourist attraction, drawing thousands of spectators daily and forming a backdrop to the 2013 movie "Now You See Me," and a site for an Usher tour, the judge noted. All the while, the crime-ridden neighborhood gradually improved and it became the "world's largest collection of quality outdoor aerosol art," though a system set up by the artists meant some paintings were temporary while others were given permanent status, Block wrote. The ruling followed a three-week trial in November, when Block said the "respectful, articulate and credible" artists testified about "striking technical and artistic mastery and vision worthy of display in prominent museums if not on the walls of 5Pointz." He noted one artist came from London, another from rural West Virginia, while others were products of prestigious art schools. Some were self-taught. He said he was impressed with the breadth of the artists' works and how many works "spoke to the social issues of our times." Jerry Wolkoff, who owned the buildings, had conceded he allowed the spray-paint artists to use the buildings as a canvas for decades but said they always knew they would be torn down someday."
This is,Going To Put Up Graffiti In My Back Yard,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“People say graffiti is ugly, irresponsible and childish... but that's only if it's done properly.”
- Banksy, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
Judge awards graffiti artists $6.7 million after their New York works were destroyed. By Associated Press Feb 12, 2018 on Los Angeles Times.com
"A judge awarded $6.7 million Monday to graffiti artists who sued after dozens of spray-paintings were destroyed on the walls of dilapidated New York warehouse buildings torn down to make room for high-rise luxury residences. U.S. District Judge Frederic Block in Brooklyn said 45 of the 49 paintings were recognized works of art "wrongfully and willfully destroyed" by a remorseless landlord. Twenty-one aerosol artists had sued the owner of a Long Island City site known as 5Pointz under the Visual Rights Act, a 1990 federal law that protects artists' rights even if someone else owns the physical artwork. Their graffiti was painted over in 2013, and the buildings were torn down a year later. Before they vanished, the graffiti artworks became a tourist attraction, drawing thousands of spectators daily and forming a backdrop to the 2013 movie "Now You See Me," and a site for an Usher tour, the judge noted. All the while, the crime-ridden neighborhood gradually improved and it became the "world's largest collection of quality outdoor aerosol art," though a system set up by the artists meant some paintings were temporary while others were given permanent status, Block wrote. The ruling followed a three-week trial in November, when Block said the "respectful, articulate and credible" artists testified about "striking technical and artistic mastery and vision worthy of display in prominent museums if not on the walls of 5Pointz." He noted one artist came from London, another from rural West Virginia, while others were products of prestigious art schools. Some were self-taught. He said he was impressed with the breadth of the artists' works and how many works "spoke to the social issues of our times." Jerry Wolkoff, who owned the buildings, had conceded he allowed the spray-paint artists to use the buildings as a canvas for decades but said they always knew they would be torn down someday." This is,Going To Put Up Graffiti In My Back Yard,Jim Hauenstein,And,
“People say graffiti is ugly, irresponsible and childish... but that's only if it's done properly.”
- Banksy, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 12, 2018
What Is So Funny About Driving For Lyft?
I have been driving forLyftfor almost a year now.And you would think I would have a few funny stories to tell about my experiences.There are the usual cases where a first time user will put down the theirDrop Off Addressas theirPick Up Address,and vice versa.
I do live close to anIndian Casinoand I can always tell when someone hasWonorLost.
Like theMiddle Aged Filipina Womanwho asked to be driven home at7:30in the morning.Which was over30 Milesaway.She was so happy that she seemed toLaughall the way home.I wasLaughing Too,after I dropped her off,when I saw a$50tip to go along with my$30fare.
Once,I picked up thisElderly Womanoutside theCasinoand she complained the whole time she was in my car.It was the middle of the afternoonand she wasStoned Drunk.Slurring her words every time she talked.The problem she had with me was,I like to playClassical Musicwhile I'm driving.Even after I turned it off she kept complaining how it sounded like aRenaissance Fareinside my carand how people wanted toParty.She said I needed to playParty Musicif I ever wanted to get aTip.I gave herOne Star!
AnotherWomanthat I picked up on a different occasion,was also really drunk.When I arrived,she immediately jumped into the front seat of my car.Then,the first thing she says to me is,"Jim, you will never forget me."With every syllable she spoke,she would punch me in the arm.This went on for about ten minutes,until I finally dropped her off.And she is right.I will never forget the only ride,that I gave,where someone keeps punching me! My favorite was aGuyin his early twenties, who set up a ride throughLyftfor me to pick him up.The problem was,he was on theIndian ReservationandLyftdoesn't supply last names on theAppof the people I am picking up.When I arrived at theGuard Shackand I didn't have the person's last name,I couldn't get on theReservation.So I called the person I am supposed to pick up on the phoneand tell him my problem.He says,"No problem. I'll be right there. I'm the guy in the Tuxedo with no shoes on!"He went to aWeddingonSaturday,and it was nowWednesday Morning!He kept apologizing to me for not having his shoes,and he told me,he didn't know what had happened to them!I told him not to worry.I bet,at this very moment,there is a homeless man out there,wearing the bestPatent Leather Shoeshe ever owned.
This is,I Never Gave A Ride To The Tuxedo Guy Again,But I Will Never Forget Him,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Women need food, water, and compliments. And an occasional pair of shoes.”
- Chris Rock -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
I do live close to anIndian Casinoand I can always tell when someone hasWonorLost.
Like theMiddle Aged Filipina Womanwho asked to be driven home at7:30in the morning.Which was over30 Milesaway.She was so happy that she seemed toLaughall the way home.I wasLaughing Too,after I dropped her off,when I saw a$50tip to go along with my$30fare.Once,I picked up thisElderly Womanoutside theCasinoand she complained the whole time she was in my car.It was the middle of the afternoonand she wasStoned Drunk.Slurring her words every time she talked.The problem she had with me was,I like to playClassical Musicwhile I'm driving.Even after I turned it off she kept complaining how it sounded like aRenaissance Fareinside my carand how people wanted toParty.She said I needed to playParty Musicif I ever wanted to get aTip.I gave herOne Star!
AnotherWomanthat I picked up on a different occasion,was also really drunk.When I arrived,she immediately jumped into the front seat of my car.Then,the first thing she says to me is,"Jim, you will never forget me."With every syllable she spoke,she would punch me in the arm.This went on for about ten minutes,until I finally dropped her off.And she is right.I will never forget the only ride,that I gave,where someone keeps punching me! My favorite was aGuyin his early twenties, who set up a ride throughLyftfor me to pick him up.The problem was,he was on theIndian ReservationandLyftdoesn't supply last names on theAppof the people I am picking up.When I arrived at theGuard Shackand I didn't have the person's last name,I couldn't get on theReservation.So I called the person I am supposed to pick up on the phoneand tell him my problem.He says,"No problem. I'll be right there. I'm the guy in the Tuxedo with no shoes on!"He went to aWeddingonSaturday,and it was nowWednesday Morning!He kept apologizing to me for not having his shoes,and he told me,he didn't know what had happened to them!I told him not to worry.I bet,at this very moment,there is a homeless man out there,wearing the bestPatent Leather Shoeshe ever owned.
This is,I Never Gave A Ride To The Tuxedo Guy Again,But I Will Never Forget Him,Jim Hauenstein,And,
“Women need food, water, and compliments. And an occasional pair of shoes.”
- Chris Rock -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
What Is Funny About Driving For Lyft?
I have been driving forLyftfor almost a year now.And you would think I would have a few funny stories to tell about my experiences.There are the usual cases where a first time user will put down the theirDrop Off Addressas theirPick Up Address,and vice versa.
I do live close to anIndian Casinoand I can always tell when someone hasWonorLost. Like theMiddle Aged Filipina Womanwho asked to be driven home at7:30in the morning.Which was over30 Milesaway.She was so happy that she seemed toLaughall the way home.I wasLaughing Too,after I dropped her off,when I saw a$50tip to go along with my$30fare.
Once,I picked up thisElderly Womanoutside theCasinoand she complained the whole time she was in my car.It was the middle of the afternoonand she wasStoned Drunk.Slurring her words every time she talked.The problem she had with me was,I like to playClassical Musicwhile I'm driving.Even after I turned it off she kept complaining how it sounded like aRenaissance Fareinside my carand how people wanted toParty.She said I needed to playParty Musicif I ever wanted to get aTip.I gave herOne Star!
AnotherWomanthat I picked up on a different occasion,was also really drunk.When I arrived,she immediately jumped into the front seat of my car.Then,the first thing she says to me is,"Jim, you will never forget me."With every syllable she spoke,she would punch me in the arm.This went on for about ten minutes,until I finally dropped her off.And she is right.I will never forget the only ride,that I gave,where someone keeps punching me! My favorite was aGuyin his early twenties, who set up a ride throughLyftfor me to pick him up.The problem was,he was on theIndian ReservationandLyftdoesn't supply last names on theAppof the people I am picking up.When I arrived at theGuard Shackand I didn't have the person's last name,I couldn't get on theReservation.So I called the person I am supposed to pick up on the phoneand tell him my problem.He says,"No problem. I'll be right there. I'm the guy in the Tuxedo with no shoes on!"He went to aWeddingonSaturday,and it was nowWednesday Morning!He kept apologizing to me for not having his shoes,and he told me,he didn't know what had happened to them!I told him not to worry.I bet,at this very moment,there is a homeless man out there,wearing the bestPatent Leather Shoeshe ever owned.This is,I Never Gave A Ride To The Tuxedo Guy Again,But I Will Never Forget Him,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Women need food, water, and compliments. And an occasional pair of shoes.”
- Chris Rock -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
I do live close to anIndian Casinoand I can always tell when someone hasWonorLost.
Like theMiddle Aged Filipina Womanwho asked to be driven home at7:30in the morning.Which was over30 Milesaway.She was so happy that she seemed toLaughall the way home.I wasLaughing Too,after I dropped her off,when I saw a$50tip to go along with my$30fare.Once,I picked up thisElderly Womanoutside theCasinoand she complained the whole time she was in my car.It was the middle of the afternoonand she wasStoned Drunk.Slurring her words every time she talked.The problem she had with me was,I like to playClassical Musicwhile I'm driving.Even after I turned it off she kept complaining how it sounded like aRenaissance Fareinside my carand how people wanted toParty.She said I needed to playParty Musicif I ever wanted to get aTip.I gave herOne Star!
AnotherWomanthat I picked up on a different occasion,was also really drunk.When I arrived,she immediately jumped into the front seat of my car.Then,the first thing she says to me is,"Jim, you will never forget me."With every syllable she spoke,she would punch me in the arm.This went on for about ten minutes,until I finally dropped her off.And she is right.I will never forget the only ride,that I gave,where someone keeps punching me! My favorite was aGuyin his early twenties, who set up a ride throughLyftfor me to pick him up.The problem was,he was on theIndian ReservationandLyftdoesn't supply last names on theAppof the people I am picking up.When I arrived at theGuard Shackand I didn't have the person's last name,I couldn't get on theReservation.So I called the person I am supposed to pick up on the phoneand tell him my problem.He says,"No problem. I'll be right there. I'm the guy in the Tuxedo with no shoes on!"He went to aWeddingonSaturday,and it was nowWednesday Morning!He kept apologizing to me for not having his shoes,and he told me,he didn't know what had happened to them!I told him not to worry.I bet,at this very moment,there is a homeless man out there,wearing the bestPatent Leather Shoeshe ever owned.
This is,I Never Gave A Ride To The Tuxedo Guy Again,But I Will Never Forget Him,Jim Hauenstein,And,
“Women need food, water, and compliments. And an occasional pair of shoes.”
- Chris Rock -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
February 11, 2018
No More Bounty Hunters
Luckily,
we haven't heard anything bad about
Bounty Hunters
since my
June 13th, 2015 Post
called
The Wild West Mentality.
I am sure they are still out there,
doing there job with no regard to the
Law
or the
Safety Of Others.
We haven't heard anything because the
News Media
forgets so quickly until
Someone Is Killed !
*****Today I want to talk about a subject that,
"Really Pisses Me Off!"Sorry for my bad language,
but actually,
these
"F---in Bas-ereds"
should be hung by their toes
and put on display for being complete idiots!I'm talking about
Bounty Hunters
and the
Morons
who hire them.The latest casualty to be killed by a
Bounty Hunter,
and you can expect no repercussions since they are above the law,
is
Country Singer Randy Howard.For a
DUI Warrant.Not for killing someone,
he didn't show up for
Court
on a
DUI Ticket!
So they sent a
Bounty Hunter
after him! Immediately,
the
Tennessee Bureau of Investigation,
started blaming
Randy Howard.
In their statement release,
"Howard fired first."This came out before their investigation was even over.They have to side with the
Bounty Hunter
and cover up their mistakes.They have to protect the
Tennessee Court System,
which hires these
Bounty Hunters,
instead of employing full time
Sheriffs
to do their
Warrant Sweeps!Back in 1997,
in
Phoenix Arizona,
the Headlines read:
Bounty Hunters Kill Couple In Case of Mistaken Identity! "In a flurry of bullets early Sunday morning, at least five bounty hunters wearing ski masks forced their way into a house here and killed a couple who apparently did not know the bail jumper who was being sought. The bounty hunters, who wore body armor and ski masks, burst into the house at 4 A.M., held three children and another couple at gunpoint, then opened fire into a bedroom that Mr. Foote shared with Ms. Wright. Mr. Foote returned fire, wounding two of the attackers."The two people in the bedroom died from their wounds.The local
Police
told
Reporters,
''It's a mystery to us,''
Sgt. Mike Torres said.
''There is nothing to indicate that the person they were looking for was at that house."One of the best known
Bounty Hunters
is
Duane "Dog" Chapman
who was on the cable channel
A&E
for years until it was leaked that he is a prejudice underhanded lying scum.He verbally bashed his son for marrying a woman of color,
saying he was worried about,
"His TV ratings!"His wife has had warrants out for her arrest,
but you don't see him hauling her off to jail.The worry over
Bounty Hunters
only comes up when someone is killed,
"By Mistake." Authorities are talking about regulating
Bounty Hunters
instead of just getting rid of the damn program. In today's Society,
local Governments,
have thoroughly convinced the Public,
that we need a Cop on every corner for our safety! Then why do we need Bounty Hunters? Take those bums off the streets
and use the Sheriff's Office for Warrant Sweeps! That's what they were originally hired to do. If you think I'm ranting over something I know nothing about,
think again.
A little over ten years ago,
I drove up to a friend's house in
Rainbow California,
and came upon a scene I couldn't believe.Two huge guys were beating up my friend,
with his girlfriend screaming,
"That's not him!" They continued to pound on him when I butted in.Luckily,
they didn't go after me.
I assured them that the person they were looking for no longer roomed with my friend,
but had moved out about a month before.When we called the local
Sheriff's Department,
the
City Of Rainbow
is not large enough to have its own
Police Force,
we were told there is nothing we can do about it."Bounty Hunters are pretty much above the law!"When is this
"Wild West Mentality"
going to fade into the past? Do we really need Wannabe Cowboys with Ski Masks,
Body Armor,
and Guns breaking into our Homes? Do we?
This is,
The Scene I Describe,
Where My Friend Is Being Beat Up,
I Swear Is An Actual Event
Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The world is made up of two classes - the hunters and the hunted.”
- Richard Connell, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
we haven't heard anything bad about
Bounty Hunters
since my
June 13th, 2015 Post
called
The Wild West Mentality.
I am sure they are still out there,
doing there job with no regard to the
Law
or the
Safety Of Others.
We haven't heard anything because the
News Media
forgets so quickly until
Someone Is Killed !
*****Today I want to talk about a subject that,
"Really Pisses Me Off!"Sorry for my bad language,
but actually,
these
"F---in Bas-ereds"
should be hung by their toes
and put on display for being complete idiots!I'm talking about
Bounty Hunters
and the
Morons
who hire them.The latest casualty to be killed by a
Bounty Hunter,
and you can expect no repercussions since they are above the law,
is
Country Singer Randy Howard.For a
DUI Warrant.Not for killing someone,
he didn't show up for
Court
on a
DUI Ticket!
So they sent a
Bounty Hunter
after him! Immediately,
the
Tennessee Bureau of Investigation,
started blaming
Randy Howard.
In their statement release,"Howard fired first."This came out before their investigation was even over.They have to side with the
Bounty Hunter
and cover up their mistakes.They have to protect the
Tennessee Court System,
which hires these
Bounty Hunters,
instead of employing full time
Sheriffs
to do their
Warrant Sweeps!Back in 1997,
in
Phoenix Arizona,
the Headlines read:
Bounty Hunters Kill Couple In Case of Mistaken Identity! "In a flurry of bullets early Sunday morning, at least five bounty hunters wearing ski masks forced their way into a house here and killed a couple who apparently did not know the bail jumper who was being sought. The bounty hunters, who wore body armor and ski masks, burst into the house at 4 A.M., held three children and another couple at gunpoint, then opened fire into a bedroom that Mr. Foote shared with Ms. Wright. Mr. Foote returned fire, wounding two of the attackers."The two people in the bedroom died from their wounds.The local
Police
told
Reporters,
''It's a mystery to us,''
Sgt. Mike Torres said.
''There is nothing to indicate that the person they were looking for was at that house."One of the best known
Bounty Hunters
is
Duane "Dog" Chapman
who was on the cable channel
A&E
for years until it was leaked that he is a prejudice underhanded lying scum.He verbally bashed his son for marrying a woman of color,
saying he was worried about,
"His TV ratings!"His wife has had warrants out for her arrest,
but you don't see him hauling her off to jail.The worry over
Bounty Hunters
only comes up when someone is killed,
"By Mistake." Authorities are talking about regulating
Bounty Hunters
instead of just getting rid of the damn program. In today's Society,
local Governments,
have thoroughly convinced the Public,
that we need a Cop on every corner for our safety! Then why do we need Bounty Hunters? Take those bums off the streets
and use the Sheriff's Office for Warrant Sweeps! That's what they were originally hired to do. If you think I'm ranting over something I know nothing about,
think again.
A little over ten years ago,
I drove up to a friend's house in
Rainbow California,
and came upon a scene I couldn't believe.Two huge guys were beating up my friend,
with his girlfriend screaming,
"That's not him!" They continued to pound on him when I butted in.Luckily,
they didn't go after me.
I assured them that the person they were looking for no longer roomed with my friend,
but had moved out about a month before.When we called the local
Sheriff's Department,
the
City Of Rainbow
is not large enough to have its own
Police Force,
we were told there is nothing we can do about it."Bounty Hunters are pretty much above the law!"When is this
"Wild West Mentality"
going to fade into the past? Do we really need Wannabe Cowboys with Ski Masks,
Body Armor,
and Guns breaking into our Homes? Do we?
This is,
The Scene I Describe,
Where My Friend Is Being Beat Up,
I Swear Is An Actual Event
Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The world is made up of two classes - the hunters and the hunted.”
- Richard Connell, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you reading?
Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this on aCell-Phone,below this story you will see aLinkwhere it says;View Web Version.To truly get the full benefit of myBlog,I suggest you view the web version.You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.Thanks again.
